Why I Submit

I wasn’t ready.

Really in the end that’s what it all came down too, I wasn’t ready.

It was too soon, and just wrong, I wasn’t ready.

There was no time to plan, no time to prepare, I wasn’t ready, it wasn’t fair.

But then when was life ever fair, I mean really?

I’d been thinking about it for months, trying to find the best way, but all my careful planning came to naught. 

Ron was supposed to be at work.  He certainly wasn’t supposed to ‘just drop by’.  He couldn’t have chosen a worse time.

You’d have thought we’d learn after all the close calls, but no, the excitement was… well… exciting. 

Spontaneity after all adds so much heat to a play session.

I wished I’d chosen differently after it happened.

I guess some things can’t be planned for.

I certainly did not plan on Ron walking into my living room and finding me with Severus balls deep in my arse and Draco’s lovely cock in my mouth. 

I’d never even told him I was seeing someone.

I tried to explain.  Not just then, but after too.  But he didn’t want to know, and neither did anyone else.

That’s right Ron told everyone.  Well not everyone, but all our friends.  Everyone we knew.

And they were disgusted.

Well, most of them anyway.

Albus already knew of course (I should have learnt after he walked in on us) and some of Draco and Severus’ friends.

But none of mine knew, and they reacted badly.

It wasn’t just that we hadn’t told them.

No, they were more upset with my choice of partners.

Hermione said it was un-natural to have more than 1 partner, that if I gave up one of them she would support me.

As if I could!

Most of them just thought it was wrong to love one Slytherin let alone two.

I tried to explain, I tried so many times.

But they never listened.

And then the papers found out about it.

So I started counting howlers.  Thank goodness for good quality wards.

I lost count at 572 when Draco literally threw me over his shoulder and carried me off to his bed.  It’s very difficult to concentrate on anything with a vibrating dildo pressing on your prostate and your lovers’ cock shoved down your throat and cutting off your oxygen supply making your head spin.

That was a highlight!  Sex with Draco or Severus is always a highlight.

So here I am, left with a burning desire to tell my side and no one who wants to hear.

Draco and Severus tell me I don’t need to convince anyone, they’re right of course.

But this desire to tell someone just won’t go away.

So this account isn’t for all the people who deserted me, this is for me.

If someone happens to read it, that’s ok, but it’s not why I’m writing it.

I write to stop the burning desire, I write because I need to tell someone or something… Why I Submit.