Lucius and Snape in Hawaii - COMPLETE

Lucius and Snape in Hawaii

This is just a short, humorous vignette of one friend taking care of another.



“THIS is what you call a rest cure?” Snape was standing on a thatch-roofed lanai gazing in outrage at a wide, clean beach and aqua-colored ocean rolling in, foamy waves shushing over the sand. His neck wounds had mostly closed; only a couple of small sticking plasters over the remaining puncture holes showed above his high-necked robes. If he turned his head too sharply, the repaired wounds still zinged him with a reminder that he wasn’t quite healed yet.

The irascible wizard got a major zing from turning to glower at the oblivious visage of his friend. “I should have known you would have a totally inappropriate scheme in mind. Your idea is absolute rubbish, Lucius,” Snape groused with a signal lack of appreciation.

“Isn’t it just perfect? You must admit the scenery is beautiful.” Lucius quirked his lips at the unhappy wizard standing with his arms folded in a sulky slouch. “I can see your attitude is improving already,” he said sardonically, but his eyes sparkled with suppressed mirth.

The gentle sarcasm rolled off Snape’s black-robed back as he took in the entirety of the nasty trick Lucius had played on him. “This is not the Paris catacombs with a newly discovered library of dark arts potions.”

Lucius feigned surprise, “No, truly?” He laughed, “What gave it away?” When Snape merely gazed witheringly at his friend, Lucius teased, “I was sure the secret was good for at least three days, but you’re a sharp one. I’ve always said so.” He grinned at the sour expression thrown his way. “We’re here, you’re marooned for a week on Pomfrey’s orders, so just relax and enjoy the place. What can it hurt?”

Snape drew a handkerchief and listlessly wiped at his brow, “I hate the sun. Especially in this quantity. I dislike the constant, plaguey drone of the ocean, and I will be aggravated into a relapse with all the inane chatter of those idlers,” Snape pointed to the few couples lying on bright towels nearly two hundred metres away down the beach.

“You can hear them? I can barely see them.” Lucius glanced at the people far down the beach, then turned back in spurious amazement, “My, my, you’ve ears like a bat. Now that I’m thinking of it, you look rather like one with those black robes you persist in swishing round in.” He added, just to goad, “All you need do is hang upside down and the resemblance is complete.”

Snape wrapped his robes more firmly around himself, “Perhaps some warning that I was bound for a Hawaiian beach instead of a chilly catacomb would have made a difference in my apparel,” he said snidely, glowering down his high-bridged nose at the offending blond wizard.

“Hmm,” Lucius looked at his friend dubiously. “No, I rather doubt that." He ignored Snape’s irritably cocked eyebrow and offered, “Aren’t you sweltering under all that unrelieved gloom you’re wearing? At least slip into the shower. You do look sticky. Maybe your temper will cool under a refreshing wash.” Lucius led the way into the private, luxury lodge rented to them for the week. Snape turned as the blond wizard glided by and caught his shoulder. “Why? And why here?” he asked.

Lucius gazed back with his clear, pale gray eyes, serious for the moment, “You nearly died, Severus. I thought a complete change of scenery would chase away the doldrums clinging to you. Madam Pomfrey said your recovery was lagging more because of your mental state than your physical one.”

Snape’s mouth twisted, ”Oh, bother! Dunderheads, the both of you!” He dropped his hand and looked away for a moment, then fastened his own midnight eyes back on his interfering comrade. “A new dark arts library on potions would have been better,” he said grumpily, but he followed the meddling blond into the lodge.

“Your room is there,” Lucius waved one elegant hand, “with its own bathroom; mine is down two more doors. I’m going to shower and change, myself. Portkey travel is always hard on my stomach and I want to get into something more comfortable." Lucius was wearing his normal business suit and tie with his robe open. “Even if you aren’t, I’m getting hot wearing all this inappropriate clothing." Lucius disappeared into his own room.

~~~

“Holy Merlin’s hole, Severus, you’re blinding me. What shade of white is that? Sepulchre? Have you never let a sliver of sun near that pasty skin?” Lucius stared in dismay at Snape’s body clad in the swimming costume that Lucius had left for him, having surreptitiously removed the dark-haired wizard’s other clothing while he showered.

“Your sense of humor should be bottled and sold as rat poison. I would appreciate my robes being returned immediately, Lucius.” Snape hunched a pair of very nice shoulders as he crossed his arms in annoyance. The rest of him was still rather thin from his illness. He stepped charily out onto the lanai where Lucius was waiting for him.

The platinum-haired wizard waited expectantly for his deserved tongue-lashing about the missing robes, then frowned briefly, worrying that he wasn’t getting a blistering history of his Malfoy antecedents, detailing everything from blackguards to heretics, all of whose characteristics had shown up in Lucius. That wasn’t like Snape at all. Then the dark-haired man stepped further out into the open air and Lucius saw a gleam of wary interest in the beach drift through his friend’s eyes and Lucius relaxed.

The Pureblood stood in a similar swimsuit to Snape’s, both costumes low-slung, clinging to slim, male hips, and stopping at mid-thigh. Two navels peeked out at each other above the two swimsuits – one with a trail of honey-colored hair disappearing into the waistband of a blue suit and one with midnight black hair trailing downward into green.

“Severus, you must be seriously depleted in vitamin D, never allowing the sun on your skin,” Lucius blithely ignored Snape’s demand for his robes, knowing his comrade was now hooked on the new scenery. “Here, put this on you before you come any further outside. It’s magic sun block so you don’t fry, just tan. I see I should have bought the large, economy size.”

“Isn’t that the pot calling the cauldron black? Or in this case, white?” Snape sniffed, his critical gaze going over the blond wizard’s trim, but pale ivory body. “You look like the underbelly of a flobberworm – a dead flobberworm.” A ghost of a smile flitted across Snape’s face before disappearing again under a disgruntled grimace as he squeezed some of the sun block cream onto his hand. “Not up to my standard,” he mumbled.

Lucius looked down at himself and sighed, “Yes, I suppose we’re both in need of some sunbathing.” He saw a patch of sun block he’d missed on his own arm and rubbed it in more thoroughly while waiting for Severus to run the sun block over himself. When the dark-haired wizard finished anointing himself with the cream, he handed it back to Lucius who put it in a carryall at his feet.

Lucius plucked two items from the carryall and tossed one to Snape. “Put those sunglasses on to cut the glare to your eyes. You should be able to take the sunlight that way.” He perched a pair on his own patrician nose and waved at a pair of flipflops on the lanai floor. “Those, too, or your feet will hurt from the hot sand. Come along.”

Snape growled at the careless command, but reluctantly ambled behind the other wizard. He didn’t have his wand, cursing that he had left it in his now-missing robes when he showered, and in any case, he couldn’t Apparate off an island. He was neatly trapped by his wily friend and decided to make the best of his situation. He knew Lucius would be incensed – and hurt - if he tried to leave and his health was actually a bit of a worry to him, also. Maybe he should go along with Madam Pomfrey’s suggestions. He had been tired for a long time.



The two wizards trudged along the beach for a few metres until they came to a spot sheltered on one side by an outcropping of volcanic rock and partially shaded by several palm trees. Lucius pulled out two beach towels, laying them precisely side-by-side on the sand, then plunked the carryall exactly between them.

Snape pursed his lips to keep from smiling at the persnickety movements of his friend. It was always the same. Lucius couldn’t seem to allow anything approaching disorderliness without fixing it so it was symmetrical or having some sort of order. Snape was much the same, but not to the degree Lucius was. He bent to ostensibly straighten his towel and deliberately angled it just a bit from Lucius’ towel, pretending he was smoothing the already precisely flat material.

Lucius scowled at the other wizard and pointed to the uneven angle now separating the towels, “You did that on purpose,” he said, peeved. “Petty, Severus, very petty.” His eyes slitted in vexation, “Feel better, now?”

Snape lay down on his off-kilter towel enjoying the first smile he’d had all trip, “Yes, I do feel better. Thank you.” He rested his head on his hands tucked behind his neck, his dark glasses hiding the happily vengeful gleam in his eyes.

Lucius blinked at the relaxed smile he hadn’t dared hope to see so soon. He sighed at the bad angle of the towels, but decided not to re-angle his towel to match Snape’s. It grated, but that smile had – almost – been worth it. Lucius lay down on his towel, surreptitiously tugging it more into alignment with Snape’s towel and got another smile, this time gloating.

Silence descended for a while as the two wizards lay in the dappled shade listening to the rustle of the palms and the monotonous sound of the breaking waves as they beat against the shore.

Finally, Snape broke the peaceful atmosphere with a quiet question, “Did Pomfrey really say my recovery was stalling due to my mental state?”

Lucius stared upward through his dark glasses, watching the palm fronds above him sway in the island breeze, “Severus, do you think I’d drag you all this way and be forced to view that disgusting fish belly of yours if it weren’t necessary?”

Snape thought a moment, “I suppose not. Although my disgusting fish belly is tauter than yours. Too many biscuits with your tea lately, Lucius?” he taunted.

Lucius raised one languid hand and stroked his own slim stomach in satisfaction, “Mine is perfect. Yours is what one calls gaunt. You like to eat fish and this is a paradise for seafood. We’ll fatten you back up in no time.”

“We?” Now Snape frowned and raised up on one elbow to see the blond better.

“Oh,” said Lucius, emitting an innocent tut of surprise that fooled no one. “Didn’t I mention it? I’ve signed us up for the Ladies’ Luau Cooking School. I understand it’s a great way to meet the wahini witches here. Madam Pomfrey mentioned that a better diet and a more varied, ahem, ‘social’ life should have you back in shape in no time.”



“Varied?” queried Snape with interest. “How…varied?”

Lucius smiled under his dark glasses, his icy eyes dreamy, “Haven’t you always wondered what was under one of those grass skirts?”

Snape lay back down with a grunt. Perhaps a sunny holiday in Hawaii did have a few ‘tourist spots’ worth exploring more closely. He chuckled, letting Lucius hear his amusement. Leave it to the blond wizard to know just what would help him convalesce.

Two impressive fabric tents rose, one blue and one green, as both men relaxed under the afternoon sun, contemplating an evening devoted to the mysteries of grass.

The End