The Shamrock

Seventeen year old John Andrew Lupin was a simple man. He had very few desires for his life. Finding a pretty girl, settling down, having children. Simple things. Normal things. Things he expected to happen years from now.

He had a good job as a mechanics apprentice, and he was due to be promoted to an actual mechanic any day now. He had a nice three bedroom house, something none of his mates had yet. His parents had left it to him when they had died in a car accident when he was fifteen. All he needed was to find a wife and fill it with beautiful babies.

He never expected to find her one lazy Sunday afternoon in August.

“We’re going to get caught!”

“No we’re not. Come on, Annie, stop being such a fraidy cat!”

“I am not! I just don’t want to get into trouble.”

John looked up to see the prettiest girl he had ever seen being dragged into The Shamrock pub by three other girls. He barely noticed the giggly ones doing the dragging. But the one the other girl had called Annie, he couldn’t take his eyes off of that one.

She was about 5’5”, wavy brown hair, and the brightest amber eyes. She smiled through her protests, and when one of the girls said something to make her laugh, John couldn’t breathe.

“What can I get you lovely ladies this fine afternoon?” asked Big Jim, the bartender.

He was so called Big Jim because he was wider than he was tall. He hailed from County Kerry, Ireland, and had moved to London when he was twenty one. He’d owned The Shamrock for five years, paid for by money from a spinster aunt. It was a nice pub. Good atmosphere. Big Jim made everyone feel like family, and, if you drank in The Shamrock every evening, like John did, you were family.

John gulped down the last of his pint and made his way over to the bar, amidst jeers from his mates.

“Just an orange juice, please,” Anne said.

“One orange juice. And for you ladies?” Big Jim asked.

“We’ll take pints, please.”

“I’ll pay for these, and I’ll take another pint, Jim.”

Anne spun around to find a boy standing behind her. He was quite tall, brown hair and eyes, and his nails were stained black. He was smiling at her and her friends. It was Mary, the redhead. She’d be the one he was after. Or it might be Joan, with her big blue eyes. Of course, it would be Alice, the one with the legs. Anne was used to her three friends getting the blokes. No bloke wanted the short one, the one with odd eyes and boring hair.

“I’m John Lupin, and I am very pleased to make the acquaintance of four lovely ladies,” he said and Joan practically melted.

He had a cockney accent. Anne had never met anyone who talked like that before. It was quite nice really.

“Hello, John. I’m Alice, and this is Joan, Mary and Anne. Thank you for the drinks.”

“My pleasure,” he said as he shook each of their hands. “What brings you all the way to this neck of the woods? You’re not from around here. I would have noticed creatures as beautiful as you.”

Alice giggled and Anne rolled her eyes. It was a silly thing to laugh at, just a corny line.

“Annie’s come home for the holidays from boarding school and we want to show her the art of living before she goes back,” Joan said.

“And how are you finding it, Miss Anne?”

Why was he talking to her? Why bother? It was obvious she wasn’t going to be the one copping off with him, so why make the effort?

“Well, I’m sure this is not what my guardians had in mind when they said I could go out with my friends,” she said and he laughed.

“No, I’m sure it wasn’t. Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you, make sure you don’t end up in too much trouble,” he said as he paid for the drinks.

The four girls ended up spending the evening with John and his mates, who were a polite, if rowdy, bunch. There was Chris, who was sixteen and worked in his fathers fish and chip shop. He made a beeline for Mary. Then there was Joe, the seventeen year old mechanic’s apprentice like John, who set his sights firmly on Joan. And there was Mike, the carpenter and the only one over eighteen. He took a fancy to Alice.

Anne slipped outside to indulge in a cigarette without her friends making a big deal out of it. Her foster parents hated her smoking, and she had to hang out of the dorm room window to smoke at school, but she was miles from home, all the way on the other side of London. Who was going to stop her now? She fully intended to quit, but today was not that day.

“Bad for your health.”

She inhaled half of her cigarette in shock as the voice spoke. She looked up to find John smiling down at her.

“So they say. It’ll stunt my growth, right?”

He laughed. “Maybe. Mind if I bum one?” She held out the packet and he took one, lighting up. “So, you go to boarding school?”

“Yes. It’s a school for the gifted. For kids with special skills.”

That smile was making her nervous. No bloke ever smiled at her like that. She just wasn’t the one they wanted.

“Is it your beautiful eyes that are your special skill?”

Hang on. Did he just call her eyes beautiful? That couldn’t be right. He had to be pissed. But wait, he couldn’t be. He had been on orange juice after his first pint, and they had been sitting together all evening, she knew for a fact that he was sober.

“I’m sorry, but if this is some ploy to get to one of my friends, let me say that you’re wasting your time. They’ll go out with you, any one of them, if you just ask them,” she said firmly.

“I’m not using you to get to your friends.”

“Oh, I get it. One of them asked you to make me feel special by flirting with me, is that it?”

“Nope.”

“Then what is your game, Mr Lupin?”

He smiled at her. “I was just wondering if you would go out with me.”

Her jaw dropped. “Me?”

“Yes, you. You see, I’m very picky. I want the prettiest girl. And you, Miss Graham, are the prettiest girl I have ever met,” he said honestly. “I’m not like Chris, who wants the redheads because he thinks they’re exciting. And I’m not like Joe, who likes blue eyes. And I’m not like Mike, who’s a leg man.”

“So what are you like?”

“I want the girl I can actually have a conversation with. No offence to your friends, they’re nice enough, but I’d like conversation on something other than hair styles,” he said and she sniggered. “I want a woman with class, and you seem to have it in spades.”

She smiled at him, measuring him up. His brown eyes were honest, and he didn’t seem to be making fun of her.

“Well, in that case, you’ll have to wait,” she said.

“Wait?”

“Yes. You see, I still have two more years at boarding school, which takes me way for the better part of the year. I will go out with you, if you wait for me,” she bargained. If he was serious, he would wait.

“Can I write to you at this school?”

Ah, a slight problem there. He was a muggle, that much she knew. She wanted him to write to her, if he was serious. But how would he get the letters to her?

“Have you ever sent a letter by owl?”

He laughed. “By owl? You mean the nocturnal bird of prey?”

“Yes.”

“No, can’t say I’ve ever sent a letter that way.”

“My school is a little…different. We send letters by owls. I have one. If you give me your address, I’ll send you a letter, and you can give my owl the one to bring back to me,” she said.

She had to be having him on. Owl? Send a letter by owl? But she seemed to be genuine, and she’d given him no reason not to trust her. Plus, if it was some way to get rid of him, he had to give her points for originality.

“All right,” he said. He pulled out a notebook and jotted down his address, passing her the scrap of paper. She tucked it into her pocket without even looking at it. “How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Sweet sixteen. And when do you go back to school?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Well, I look forwards to meeting this owl of yours,” he said, raising her hand and kissing it, making her blush.

Any further conversation between them was cut off by the three other girls pouring from the pub, claiming that they had to get Anne home if she had any hope of making the train tomorrow.

John watched as the four girls disappeared down the street, Anne turning her head to glance at him one last time before she vanished around the corner.

“You are hooked.”

He turned to find Mike leaning against the door, staring at him.

“No, I’m not,” John argued.

“Right, right…so what’s that look for?”

“What look?”

“The one that says you were just touched by an angel.”

John smiled. “Maybe I was.”

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John walked into The Shamrock to find Anne waiting at the bar for him. He would have been there earlier, if he hadn’t ended work covered in engine oil. He had been forced to run home and take a bath. He didn’t want her to see him covered in oil, it was not a good look for a first date.

Two years of letter writing, they were well overdue for their first date.

When her owl had first arrived, he had laughed himself hoarse. He hadn’t actually believed her when she had told him about Merlin the owl. But the beautiful brown bird had arrived a week after their first meeting. It had just swooped out of the sky and landed calmly on his windowsill, holding out its leg for him to take the letter.

They hadn’t been able to meet up last summer, her friends had whisked her away to the Lake District to enjoy the summer sun away from the city. And the Christmas and Easter breaks she had stayed at school. But their letter writing had been constant. They had discussed everything. Family, friends, likes, dislikes, favourite things, future plans. There was not a thing they hadn’t talked about.

He had loved the letters, and over the two years he had fallen in love with Anne. He wanted to ask her to marry him, but when he had indicated that to be his intention, she had written that she had something he needed to know and it was something best told in person.

So they had arranged to meet. Same place, same date as their first meeting, minus their friends.

She was sitting at the bar in a blue dress, sipping an orange juice. Her hair was so long now, it was halfway down her back. She was still short, but he liked that about her. She caught sight of him and she smiled.

“Hello,” she said, hopping down off her barstool.

“Hello. Sorry I’m late,” he said.

“It’s all right. Big Jim’s been entertaining me with tales of his interesting regulars,” she said. She leaned in and hugged him, arching up to kiss his cheek.

He smiled and tried to take a full breath. A woman had never had this effect on him before. It was different, and he liked it. She was special. He regained himself and accepted the orange juice she had bought for him.

“Shall we find a seat?” she said and he nodded.

They chose a table in a secluded corner, far away from prying ears and nosy eyes.

“So, how are you?” he asked.

“Good. I got a flat and job.”

“Really? That was fast. What job?”

“A receptionist for a dentist. It’s nothing fancy, but I like it. It pays pretty well, and the hours are good. And it’s here.”

“A job in London is a good thing,” he said, thinking of all the months she had spent up in Scotland at school. Anything that kept her in London was a good thing.

“No, I mean it’s here. Like, a short bus ride away from right here,” she clarified.

He couldn’t believe it. She had been so far away for so long and now she was here. Right here. His mates were right. He was a lucky son of a bitch.

She watched the small smile break across his face and smiled herself. She knew that flat was a good idea. And the job she loved. It was in the Muggle World, which her friends at Hogwarts all scoffed at, but it was the world she had grown up in, why shouldn’t she live in it? It didn’t mean she was turning her back on the Wizarding World. Speaking of which, she really should tell him. If he did really want to marry her, which she hoped he did, she wanted to tell him now while he could still back out of it if he wanted. It was only right that he be aware of everything before they got too serious.

They chatted about their lives since the last letter and when he offered to replenish their drinks, she shook her head and asked if they could go back to his place.

He smiled and took her arm, leading her out of the pub. His house was a small three bedroom terrace with a small walled in back garden. The garden was barely big enough to swing a cat, but all he did was dry his laundry out there, so it didn’t matter. The best feature of the house was that it was only three streets away from The Shamrock, which meant that he always made it home at the end of the night.

The East End estate was perfect for John’s lifestyle. His garage, something he had finally opened six months ago with Joe, was four streets away from his house. There was a little corner shop for the last minute essentials, like milk and bread, and a fish and chip shop, which was now run by Chris after his father passed away eighteen months ago. The supermarket was only a ten minute walk. It was perfect.

He let Anne into his kitchen and silently thanked God that he had done the dishes that morning. It was relatively neat and tidy. At least he didn’t have a leaking carburettor sitting on his kitchen table, something that seemed to happen quite often.

“Tea?” he offered and she shook her head.

“John, maybe you should sit down,” she said and he took the chair on the opposite side of the table. “You know I told you that I have a secret?”

He nodded.

“Well…John…I’m a witch.”

There was dead silence in the kitchen. She watched the information process through his head and wondered what he would say first.

“You mean like one of those new age hippy pagan types?” he asked.

“No, I mean a real witch, one who can do magic.”

He laughed. She had to be joking. Maybe she had hit her head or something. His mother used to tell him fairy tales when he was little about witches and ogres, talking mirrors and magic plants that grew from magic beans. She was just playing with him, indulging in his childhood love of the fantastic.

“A witch?” he questioned and she nodded. “Riiiiight. And I suppose you know the Easter bunny. Come on, Annie, what’s the real secret?”

“John, that is my secret. If you have a tea cup, I can show you,” she said and he stared at her for a moment before he stood up.

“All right, I’ll go along with it,” he said, retrieving a tea cup from the cupboard and handing it to her. “What are you going to do with that, make it float?”

“Watch the cup,” she instructed as he leaned against the sink, watching her. He nodded and fixed his eyes on the cup. She pulled out her wand from a hidden pocket in her dress and waved it. “Wingardium Leviosa.” The cup hovered a few inches and he jumped about a foot in the air.

“Jesus Christ!” he half yelled. He slowly came forwards and passed his hand under the cup, then over it, then around it.

“There are no wires,” she said and his eyes met hers. “I told you, I’m a witch.”

He fell back down into his chair, staring at the cup. She decided to leave it there, until he actually believed what he was seeing. Every now and then he passed his hand under it. She managed not to laugh. It wasn’t funny. Really, it wasn’t funny. All right, it was bloody hilarious, but she refused to laugh. It was probably terrifying to him.

“You’re a witch,” John said after four hours of silence. She nodded and lowered the cup. “A real live honest to God witch.”

“Yes.”

He nodded mutely.

“John, I know that this is a lot for you to take in right now, but I need to ask you something,” she said and he let out a hysterical kind of laugh.

“Go on,” he said, his voice suddenly very high pitched.

“I need you to keep this a secret. You can’t tell anyone about me. It would be really bad for me if people knew. I told you because I trust you. Will you keep my secret?”

This seemed to slap some sense into him again.

“Anne, I’ll keep it a secret, I swear. I’ll never tell a soul, I’ll take it to the grave with me. But…um…not to sound rude or anything…but maybe it’s best if you go. I need some time to think this through,” he said, looking uncomfortable.

She smiled. “Of course, I understand. Listen, this is my telephone number. Give me a call when you’re ready to talk,” she said, handing him a small scrap of paper with a number and her name on it. “I’ll see myself out.”

He nodded again and called out a goodbye as the door closed behind her.

John sat at his kitchen table staring at the cup late into the night. He thought it all over in his head.

A witch. A real witch. He had always though magic lived in fairy tales, that he had put those things behind him, grown out of them. But no, oh no, life was never that simple.

He considered it. The main question was why had she told him. Why would she tell him something so big? And then it hit him.

She loved him.

She had revealed herself, exposed herself, because she wanted him to know, she wanted to share it with him. Well, that’s what he believed. She had no one else, her parents had died when she was very small. The way she had made it sound, she had probably never told anyone before.

But there was that part of him that hesitated. Could he live with a witch? Marry one? Have children with one? Quite honestly, he didn’t know. He hadn’t seen real demonstrations of magic, he had no idea what she was capable of. One floating teacup was not Merlin’s magic.

Speaking of Merlin…

John crossed the room as Merlin the owl tapped on his window. There was no letter attached, so this was obviously a stop on Merlin’s nightly hunt. The bird stopped in most nights to say a hello while he hunted for his meal.

John opened the window and held out his arm. Merlin hopped on and John carried him to the kitchen. He perched the bird on the back of a chair and sat down.

“What do you think, Merl?” The bird chirped and he smiled. “Good point.”

Merlin hooted and he nodded.

“You know, I think you’re right.”

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“This place is incredible!”

Anne sniggered. She had answered a three am telephone call from John and subsequently agreed to show him Diagon Alley. So far, they had barely made it through the archway. She remembered the first time she had seen Diagon Alley and mused that she had been quieter in her amazement. Silent was probably a better description.

They slowly made their way down the street, popping in to almost every shop. John took it all in, asking questions by the barrelful. She answered every single one honestly and found herself impressed by his ability to remember everything she told him.

“So that big white one is the bank?” he asked, pointing at it.

“Yes, that’s Gringotts. It’s run by goblins.”

“Goblins? Like real goblins?”

“Yes, real goblins.”

They continued to explore Diagon Alley, the young witch firmly steering him away from Knockturn Alley. He accepted her explanation of it being the wrong sort of crowd without question. In fact, he took all of her advice without question. He kept his hands off of what she told him not to touch, moved away from people she didn’t want him near, went where she led him. In his mind, this was her world, not his. She knew what was safe, what the rules were. It wasn’t proper for him to let himself get carried away with it all. Those Aurors sounded like a scary bunch.

They made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron at the end of the day for some dinner. John ordered the stew, like Anne did, and sat quietly while she explained even more of her world to him.

“I think I’ve covered just about everything,” she said finally.

They were finished with their dinner and enjoying something called butterbeer, which John found he absolutely loved. It made him feel all warm and happy. He nodded and looked around. The pub wasn’t the friendliest looking place, but like quite a few things in her world, appearances were deceiving. He quite enjoyed sitting in the Leaky Cauldron. It was more interesting than The Shamrock.

Speaking of interesting, that was definitely something that didn’t happen in The Shamrock.

Anne caught on to what he was looking at and smiled.

“It’s not illegal in my world,” she said and he looked at her. “Two men being together, it’s perfectly acceptable in the Wizarding World. They can even get married. There’s a special branch of the Muggle Government, a special law that makes it legal in both worlds for two wizards to be married.”

He glanced at the two men leaning over their dinner to smooch and decided that he wasn’t as repulsed by it as he had assumed he would be. In fact, he found he didn’t mind it at all. Love was love, whatever shape it took. It was hard enough to find someone to spend your life with. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for gay men and women to find someone. How did you know who was and wasn’t gay? Looking at the two men, John couldn’t see any difference between them and himself. They looked just like everyone else. They didn’t have a tattoo on their foreheads or some other visible marker of it.

“Fair enough. If that’s the way they are so be it. It‘s not like they choose to be gay, is it?” he asked.

“No, they don’t choose it. It’s just like you liking women, it’s the way they are. It’s not contagious or something like that. It’s just the way they are, nothing wrong with it, in my book,” she said honestly.

“Nothing at all, just as long as no one asks me to kiss a bloke, I’m all for it,” he said, making her laugh. “I have a question.”

She giggled. “Another one? You do surprise me, Mr Lupin, so full of questions,” she teased. “Go on then.”

“If we got married and had children, would they be special like you?”

“You mean would they be magical?”

“Yes.”

“They might be. My parents were muggles, like you, and I’m a witch. There are different kinds of magical people,” she said and he nodded for her to continue. “Well, there are very old families of witches and wizards, who marry witches and wizards and have magical children. They’re called Pureblood. Then there are people like me, magical but the first in their families to be so. I’m what’s called a Muggleborn. Then there are half and half. One parent magical, the other muggle. They’re called half-blood.”

“What about if we had a child, what would he or she be?”

“Ummmm…I think a child we had, that was magical, would be considered half-blood. I’m magical, you’re muggle, so I think half-blood would be right,” she said. “Is it something you want, to have magical children?”

He smiled guiltily. How did she manage to see straight through him?

“I wouldn’t mind,” he said casually. “What about two magical parents having a non magical child?”

She couldn’t believe how well he was taking all of this. She had expected him to have some sort of trouble accepting all of this, her world, but it didn’t seem to be a problem. Maybe her friends had been wrong. All those catty witches, ones she never had a desire to see again in her life, had loudly said over and over that a relationship with a muggle would never work, that a muggle could never accept or understand the Wizarding World. She felt a swell of pride at John proving them wrong.

“That child would be called a Squib. They’re sometimes given up for adoption, so they can be raised in the Muggle World. Other times, they’re raised by the family, but they’re home schooled. They never receive a wand, or a magical education, but they are still a part of the Wizarding World,” she explained.

“They don’t go to Hogwarts?”

“No. To go to Hogwarts, they need to be able to perform magic. A Squib can’t.”

He fell silent for a while, and she let him do so. It was a lot for him to take in, she couldn’t expect him to just smile and go on as if nothing had happened. He had seen things today that would make some people’s eyes pop out.

“All right. I’ve thought about it all,” he said eventually. She nodded, sitting back in her seat and watching him. “Your world is incredible. I always thought magic was only in fairy tales. To find out now that it’s all real is a shock, I’ll admit that. And I am shocked, I’ll admit that too. I’m a mechanic, I fix motors for a living. The thought of someone as wonderful, as beautiful, as amazing as you, special as you, would like me the way I like you blows my mind.”

“I do like you. I like you very much,” she said, a little breathless. No man had ever made her feel this way. No man had ever looked at her that way either. And she had never thought of a man the way she thought of him. She had never liked a man this much.

He got up out of his chair and knelt before her chair. “I don’t have a ring, because I didn’t plan on doing this yet. I planned to wait, to actually spend some time with you in person. But I can’t wait. Anne Graham, I love you. I find you to be the incredible woman I’ve ever met. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t give you a castle or riches or anything a wizard could. But if you’ll have me, I’ll be yours for as long as you want. Anne, will you marry me?”

Oh Merlin, he had meant it when he had said it in the letter. She had thought he was just saying it, but no, he had been serious. He want to marry her, and, by the sounds of it, have children. Get married, raise a family, grow old together. She loved him, she knew that. And he loved her. How they would make this work, she had absolutely no idea, but they would find a way.

“Yes, John, I will marry you.”

His gentle kiss was all she needed to reassure herself that he was the one for her.

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John bouncily walked down the hallways of the hospital with a bunch of flowers and a teddy bear.

He and Anne had waited until she turned twenty one to marry, living in their separate accommodations until their wedding night, when she moved in to his house. That had been nine years ago and he had never regretted a single second of his life with Anne. He had to admit, being married to Anne had its moments. It was definitely unlike any other marriage he had ever heard of.

There were the moments he had always envisioned when he had thought about marriage when he was young. Coming home to a lovingly prepared dinner, waking to breakfast his beautiful wife made, having her visit the garage in her lunch hour, evenings curled up together on the sofa. He had anticipated those. It was the other side of it, the one he adored, that he had never bargained on.

Coming home to find your wife brewing potions, or levitating to sofa to vacuum under it was something not every husband came home to. He found it fascinating, watching her do all that. She only did it behind closed doors, the two of them deciding that it was the best way. Outside of the house, she was a muggle, inside it was a very different story.

It had taken a startlingly short amount of time for him to get used to seeing photographs move, her wand lying on the nightstand, weird and wonderful jars of…well, he didn’t want to know what was in some of them. He was never sick, her potions saw to that. Her cooking was wonderful and never got cold, thanks to her self heating magical plates. Her cleaning spells had even taken care of his stained nails and oil ruined clothes.

Life was perfect, in his opinion. Anne loved being his wife, she told him that daily. She loved him, and it still made him stop breathing for a moment every time she said it. They were complete, in every way.

Well, they were now.

“Hello, dear. Come and meet your son,” Anne called from the bed as he poked his head around the door of her room.

There was a nurse in the room with her, waiting to take the baby boy back to the nursery with the others. He moved forwards, the nurse taking the flowers to put in some water. The bear was bigger than the baby and they both laughed at it. He plonked it on the bedside cabinet and peered at the tiny bundle in her arms.

“Oh, he’s so small,” he breathed.

The tiny little boy, barely an hour old, was staring up with unfocussed eyes. To him they looked a little amber, like Anne’s. He had soft tufts of brown hair, and ten tiny fingers clutching at his blue blanket.

“Do you want to hold him?” she said and he nodded. He sat on the bed and trembled with nerves as she carefully passed him the newborn. He was so tiny, so fragile looking he was terrified of dropping him or breaking him.

“Is he all right? I mean, he’s got everything, hasn’t he?” John asked as he stroked the tiny nose.

“Yes, he’s perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes. He has everything, including a healthy set of lungs,” she said as the baby started to scream, scaring John half to death.

“What’s wrong with him?” he panicked.

“Nothing, dear. He’s just hungry, is all. Pass him here.”

He handed the boy over and watched with awe as Anne nursed him. He was so proud of her. He had wanted to be there when the baby was born but it was probably best he wasn’t allowed. He had been enough of a nervous wreck without actually seeing it happen.

They had suffered several miscarriages over the years, and the doctors (and healers) had told them that this child would have to stay an only child. Anne had…women’s problems. It wasn’t a good idea for them to try for another. This boy was a miracle for them. Best not to push their luck.

“I’ve thought of a name for him,” Anne said as she finished winding him.

“What do you want to call him, darling? Anything you want,” he said and she beamed.

“I want to call him Remus.”

John’s brow furrowed in concentration. “That’s one of them brothers that founded Rome, raised by wolves, right?” he questioned and she nodded.

“Romulus and Remus. I think Remus is the prettier name. Our boy is a miracle, he deserves a special name.”

“It’s perfect.” He peered into the blanket as she cradled him again. “Remus Lupin.”

“Oh no,” she said lightly. “Remus John Lupin. He has to have his wonderful father in there.”

His smile was so wide it actually hurt. “Remus John Lupin. A fine name for our boy. Anne?” he said, covertly looking at the nurse. “Is he special, like you? Will he be able to go to your school?”

She smiled down at the drowsy infant. “I don’t know. He might be. We’ll have to wait and see.”

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Six year old Sirius Orion Black stamped his foot and crossed his arms. “I don’t want to and you can’t make me!” he yelled.

“You will do as you are told, young man,” his father, Canis, said sternly. “Your brother can do it. Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

Sirius scowled. He’d had that, and things like it, his whole short life. He was a disappointment to his parents, plain and simple. He didn’t mean to be, and he had tried not to be, but he just couldn’t see what was so wrong with muggles.

His parents were always on about how much better Purebloods were, how far superior. Sirius couldn’t see it. There were a few half-blood children at his school, and a couple Muggleborns. They could do just as much magic as he could. What made him so special?

“Leave him, Canis. It’s obvious he doesn’t have the talent of Regulus.”

Sirius looked up to see his mother, Belladonna, sweeping in. She looked at him as if he were something disgusting. No matter how many times it happened, how many times she made him feel like a snivelling little leech, it still hurt. He’d heard in school that mother was the name for God on the lips of small children. He wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but he had a pretty good idea.

All little boys wanted their mother to love them, or at the very least, to like them. His mother seemed to hate him. She never let him hug her, or kiss her. She threw away his drawings and his models. Anything he made at school got thrown away the moment his mother saw it. He wasn’t good enough for her affections, apparently, and he had never been able to work out why, except for his disagreement with their beliefs. It didn’t seem like that big a thing to punish him like this, but he was stubborn, so he refuse to change for something as simple as a hug. After all, his father said that hugs were for teddy bears, and he had plenty of those.

Belladonna swept across the room and hugged his five year old brother, Regulus. Case in point. Regulus really did think he was better than all the other children. He bought in to all that stuff. Because of his blind obedience to their parents, Regulus was the favourite son. Mother always tucked him into bed, and he always got the bigger helpings at meals. He was the pampered prince, and Sirius was second best.

“Canis, dear, he’s arrived,” Belladonna said as she took Regulus’ hand and moved to the door. The boy followed her like a little puppy on a string.

“I’ll be down in a moment.”

She cast one more disapproving look at her first born before she left the room, taking Regulus with her.

Ah yes, the dinner guest, and that was a whole other matter in itself. The man, Lord something that Sirius couldn’t pronounce, was a frequent guest in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Sirius thought he was creepy, but he daren’t say that out loud. His father was an ally to him, helping him in his plans. A Death Eater his father called the ones who worked for the creepy Lord, or something like that. Sirius didn’t know what a Death Eater did, but he knew he didn’t want to be one, like his mother had planned for him. They wore weird robes and scary masks, and he had heard them talking about cursing people.

No, he definitely didn’t want to be a Death Eater.

Canis walked to his son and crouched down to his level. “Sirius, I know you don’t want to, but just do it once. Do it for me, my little dog.”

His father only called him that when he wanted something Sirius didn’t want to give. Sirius looked over to the cowering house elf. “But it’ll hurt Kreacher if I do it.”

“He’s a house elf, it doesn’t matter if you hurt him. Just do it once, and you can have some of my wine at dinner,” Canis bargained. “I’m sure James never gets to have wine. Think how grown up you’ll be.”

Sirius wavered. He really didn’t want to do it, it seemed like a nasty thing to do. But Regulus did it and his father had been proud of Regulus for it. Kreacher didn’t seem to be in any real pain from Regulus’ one. And he really did want to try some of his fathers wine, it looked very nice and his father seemed to like it an awful lot. And his father was right, James Potter, his best friend in the whole world, never got to have wine.

“All right,” the little boy sighed and his father smiled.

Canis stepped back and Sirius raised fathers wand, pointing it at the trembling creature. His bright blue eyes locked with Kreacher’s brown ones and he had to close his eyes as he said it.

“Crucio!”

Kreacher writhed in pain and Sirius bit back his tears. He wouldn’t let his father see him cry, he just wouldn’t. After a few seconds, Kreacher straightened up and bowed before he excused himself, making his way down to the kitchens.

Canis retrieved his wand, straightened Sirius robes and smoothed his hair before he took his hand, told him how proud he was of him and led him to the dining room.

As promised, Sirius got to have some of his fathers wine. But it didn’t taste as good as he thought it would. It didn’t taste good at all.

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As it turned out, Remus had six parents instead of four.

Remus lived with his mother and father, of course. But there were also four honorary uncles he spent a lot of his time with.

Uncle Joe, who worked with John and was forever trying to teach Remus how to fix an engine. Maybe one day he would understand that Remus was never going to be able to fix an engine, but he continued to try. Remus managed to destroy more car parts than he repaired, but Joe was persistent.

Uncle Mike, who adored taking Remus to the park and watching him tear around the playground, swinging higher than any other child on the swings, fearless on the climbing frame. Even if Remus couldn’t manage to make any friends his own age, Mike would play any game he wanted.

Uncle Chris, who fed him. He had Remus’ favourite cod and chips down to a fine art now, getting the chips at their crispiest golden brown, frying the cod until the fish was beautifully flaky and the batter so crisp it broke with a snap. He always gave Remus a free gherkin with his dinner, and he called the gherkins wally’s, which made Remus laugh.

And then there was Big Jim, the daddy of the uncles. He was the one to teach Remus to count cards and play darts and pool. He considered it a necessary skill for Remus to be able to win money in a pub, and Anne hadn’t had the heart to argue, not when Remus smiled so widely when he won and got so good with his maths because of it.

Eight year old Remus John Lupin shot out of the school gates like a bullet out of a gun. He couldn’t wait to leave. It wasn’t that he hated school. He liked the lessons, even if they were far too easy, and his teacher, even if she left him to his own devices most of the time. It was fine, really. It was just hard to like it when he had no friends.

He had tried to make friends, he really had. But it was hard when you had a weird name, and you were years ahead in your education. He had tried explaining that his Uncle Jim had taught him maths, that when he did maths he saw playing cards in his head. And he had told them that his mother taught him to read, and he read both pages at once, one with each eye. He didn’t mean to be clever, it just happened.

He couldn’t complain really. At least they didn’t pick on him. They just ignored him. He was just grateful that the weird things didn’t happen at school. Like the time he had managed to make his bed float, or the afternoon he made it rain in the living room, or that Mothers Day he turned his daffodils into yellow butterflies by accident when he gave them to his mother.

His parents said he was special, and he would be going to a special school for children just like he was. They said he was a wizard. But he mustn’t tell anyone, it was their little secret. He couldn’t even tell his uncles, they wouldn’t understand and it wasn’t nice to confuse people. So he kept his mouth shut, and his specialness under control.

Remus never had a parent meet him at the school gates, there just wasn’t any point. He only lived around the corner and everyone on the estate knew him. Every day after school, while his mother was working in town and his father was fixing cars, he went to Uncle Chris for his tea, and then to The Shamrock to collect glasses for Uncle Jim and play games with the patrons. Mrs. Perkins from Number 27 always gave him sherbet suckers. His mother collected him about six and then he spent the evening with his mother and father.

He liked his days. On a Saturday, he spent the morning with his father and Uncle Joe and then Uncle Mike took him to the fields and kicked the ball with him, or took him to the playground and pushed him on the swings. Sundays were the best days though. Sundays he got all of them at once. His mum and dad took him to The Shamrock and all his uncles would be there, and they would all play cards and dance to the jukebox and he would beat them at pool.

“Well bless my stars, if it isn’t our little Remus. Is it time for your tea already?” Chris asked in mock surprise as Remus climbed up onto his stool at the end of the counter. Everyone on the estate knew it was Remus’ stool, and they were all used to seeing him there.

“Yes, Uncle Chris. It’s three o’clock, tea time,” Remus piped dutifully.

He was such a small boy, it was a wonder one of the big men hadn’t crushed him in a hug. He was short and skinny, with knobbly little knees and pointy little elbows. It had become Chris’ mission in life to fatten him up. Eight years with no visible success, it was a wonder he hadn’t given up.

“Well then, what’ll it be, my boy?”

“Cod and chips and a coke, please,” he reeled off, careful to remember his please at the end. His mother told him manners didn’t cost anything.

“One cod, one chips and one coke, coming right up.”

Remus quite liked the Happy Scampi Fish and Chip shop. It smelled good, like his Uncle Chris always smelled. There were big windows for him to look out of and his Uncle Chris knew just how to make his tea.

His plate was put in front of him, with a free wally, and he rattled off what he had learned in school, and how Julia Thompson had said he was weird again, and how they had a new bloke working in the school library called Maximillian and he had hair that looked like it had been zapped in a plug socket.

Chris dutifully listened to it all, reassuring his nephew that Julia was just jealous that she wasn’t as smart as he was. He liked listening to Remus prattle on about frogspawn and the latest book he had read. He didn’t like listening to all the teasing that happened, but that was only every once in a while. Remus cleared his plate and held it out to him, saying thank you. John would settle up with him on Sunday, it was the way it all worked.

All too soon for Chris’ liking, Remus was hopping down from his stool and making his way to the door, waving at him with the promise of tomorrow before he slipped out, off to The Shamrock where he would collect glasses, which he counted as he went. Jim paid him with orange juice and crisps. Anne would collect him at six and take him home, where Remus would entertain his parents with tales of his day.

It was the perfect system. Anne loved her job and John adored his. With this system, all four men got to see the little boy and he got to be treated like a little prince by all of the estate. Remus was a child that needed constant stimulation, he became bored very easily. When he was bored he usually began to try working things out. They had discovered this when he was learning to walk. He had gotten bored with his toys and decided to work out how many stairs he could tackle in The Shamrock’s back room. He had managed seven and then fallen down them. He had broken his arm, and the system had been born.

That night, as Anne was doing the dishes and Remus was reading on the living room floor, John sorely regretted calling Lord Voldemort a son of a bitch. It had happened a few days ago, while Anne was at work and Remus at school. Voldemort had come to the house.

He had tried to persuade John to give him Remus, that the boy would be better off with his own kind, not wasting away in some muggle infested sewer they called a home. John had lost his temper, and called the man a few choice names, one of them ‘a son of a bitch’. That one had seemed to upset the man more than anything else. He had left with a warning of consequences.

Remus looked up at the sound of breaking glass to see his mother thrown away from the kitchen window as a huge grey wolf leapt through it. His father was tossed aside like a rag doll as he tried to stop it. And Remus didn’t have time to run as the wolf bit his right arm, right under his shoulder.

He screamed and cried as the wolf tore at his flesh, his blood warm on his suddenly ice cold skin. It’s teeth were huge and they hurt as he tried to pull himself free. He felt for sure that the wolf was going to eat him alive, it was big enough to, and the thought flitted through his head that he really didn’t want to be wolf dinner.

John helped Anne to her feet and shoved her fallen wand into her hand. She raised it and blasted the wolf straight through the back door. It ran off into the night and Remus, his special boy, was lying on the carpet in a pool of blood, screaming.

“I’m taking him to a hospital,” John said as he scooped him up.

“No, John, you can’t!” Anne exclaimed, making him look at her like she’d lost her mind. “That was not a wolf, John, it was a werewolf, you can’t take Remus to a muggle hospital. We need magical help, I’m going to go and get it. Take him up to the bathroom and begin to clean the wound, use the orange cream in the cabinet.”

John looked from his son to his wife and nodded. She repaired the back door and the kitchen window with a wave of her wand, after a quick glance up and down the street to make sure no one was watching. She kissed each of them before she Apparated away.

John carried his son upstairs to the bathroom, sat him on the closed lid of the toilet and carefully peeled off the blood-soaked t-shirt he was wearing. It had been blue when Remus had put it on that morning. It wasn’t anymore, what was left of it. He ran a sink of hot water and gritted his teeth against his sons cries as he carefully sponged the wound clean. God, the beast had gone right through to the bone.

“Daddy, it hurts,” Remus sobbed.

“I know, Remus, I know it does. Don’t worry, my little wolf. Your mum will bring a witch or a wizard with her, and it’ll all be better then.”

Remus sniffed and managed to stop crying somewhat. His father always made him feel better. His parents had always called him their little wolf, because of his name. He quite liked being their wolf. “I didn’t want to be werewolf dinner, daddy.”

John chuckled at him. “Maybe he heard how sweet you are and wanted to have a taste,” he joked and Remus actually managed a weak smile.

Remus howled as his father rubbed the orange healing cream into his bite. It didn’t just sting this time, it burned. His father kept apologising as he rubbed it in, but it didn’t help. And the cream didn’t heal the bite either.

“Daddy, why is it still there?”

Remus stared at the red raw wound. The healing cream always worked, there was never any trace of the wound after using it. But this bite wasn’t going away.

“It is still there because it will not heal that way,” said a very old man standing in the doorway. His mother was behind him, looking worried.

“John, this is Albus Dumbledore. He can help,” Anne said. “Let him take a look at Remus.”

John stepped back and let Dumbledore at his son. He was confused and worried. This was serious for Anne to have gone and got one of her old teachers. It was really serious for her to have gone and got Dumbledore. She had told him about the old wizard. According to Anne, there was not a more powerful wizard alive. For him to be here, this was bad.

“Hello, Mr Lupin. May I take a look at your arm, where the nasty werewolf bit you?” Albus asked kindly and Remus worried his lower lip for a moment before he nodded, holding out his arm.

“Excuse me, sir, but are you like me and mum? Are you special?” Remus questioned, using the words his parents had told him to use.

Albus smiled. “Yes, I am a wizard. I teach at Hogwarts. I used to teach your mother when she was just a girl,” he replied as he carefully manipulated the arm. Oh dear, he had seen this particular bite before, on another young boy who had been forced to leave Hogwarts because of it. He conjured a bandage and wrapped it around the arm, tying the ends securely.

“Is he, Albus?” Anne said anxiously, even though she already knew the answer.

“Yes, I am afraid he is. How about we go downstairs and have some tea?”

The four of them went downstairs and sat around the kitchen table while it was all explained. Remus wasn’t sad about being a werewolf, it wasn’t such a bad thing really and it wasn’t like he could change it now, but he was heartbroken about not being able to go to Hogwarts. He wanted to go so badly, and now he couldn’t because the so called Dark Lord was a mean horrible man, and the Greyback werewolf was nasty and bit him.

Dumbledore managed to cheer him up by conjuring a bright red cage in the basement for him to use when the full moon came, so he didn’t have to worry about biting someone, and his parents came up with The Lie.

The Lie was that Remus had a rare blood disorder that flared every couple of weeks and made him very ill. It wasn’t contagious, it was something he was born with, but it was why he was so skinny, and why he would need time at home, when he was weak from the change. They had to tell the muggles around them something.

He couldn’t go to school anymore, he would have to learn at home. Probably for the best, he was getting too advanced for his teachers to handle. On the moon days, as his mother called them, he would stay in the cage and read his books. On the normal days, he would go to The Shamrock and do his lessons there. He had always learned the most with Uncle Jim teaching him.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than nothing. Dumbledore explained that he mustn’t let special people see his bite, because they wouldn’t like it. And if anyone asked, he was bitten by a dog. Dumbledore told him that not many people in the Wizarding World liked werewolves, so it was for the best that he had grown up around muggles.

As his parents tucked him into bed that night, much later than his usual bedtime, Remus hugged his teddy bear very tight. His bite itched, but he couldn’t scratch it, it hurt when he did that.

“I’m sorry, darling. I know you wanted to go to Hogwarts, but you just can’t,” Anne said, smoothing back his hair.

“I know, mum. It’s okay. I get to stay home with you and daddy and the guys. It’ll be fine. It was nice of Mr Dumbledore to come,” Remus replied and his father smiled.

“That’s because he knows how special you are,” John said.

Remus snorted. “I guess I’m really special now.”

“Very. You’re our special little wolf, always have been, always will be.”

They kissed him good night and he found himself staring up at the full moon, wondering what the next one would be like.

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Sirius glared at his brother and wished he could actually kill him and get away with it. Life would be so much easier if he could blow him up. Breakfast would be more pleasant, that’s for sure.

They were all sitting at breakfast and Regulus kept sending levitated things zooming at him behind their fathers back. Their mother, of course, was turning a blind eye, she always did with Regulus, but if Sirius retaliated, his mother would hex him into his next lifetime.

It just wasn’t fair.

“Stop it, Reg!” he snarled as a spoon hit him on the forehead.

Canis looked over the top of that mornings Prophet to glare down the table at them both. “What have I told you boys? Enough is enough of these childish games! You’re both far too old to be doing this.”

And with that, he disappeared again. A man of few words, Canis Black.

His mother was ignoring him again, his brother was annoying, Kreacher had burnt his breakfast and his father was buried in his paper. What a fine way for Sirius to spend the morning of his eleventh birthday, the rainy morning of June 13th.

“Mother, Sirius has owl post,” Regulus said.

“So what if I have? It’s none of your business, you little suck up,” Sirius snapped as he accepted the letter from the owl. It sat there and waited, so it obviously wanted a reply.

“Do not talk to your brother that way, Sirius,” Belladonna scolded, giving him a death glare as he opened the letter.

Despite the glare, a huge smile broke across Sirius’ face, and if he hadn’t been convinced of his mother wounding him for it, he would have jumped up and down in glee.

“I’m going to Hogwarts!” he cried excitedly, showing Canis the letter. He managed to stay in his seat, a small miracle in his opinion. “I’ve been accepted. Can I go, father, please, please, please, can I go?”

Canis shared a look with his wife and then looked at his hopeful eldest son. Maybe a few years in Slytherin would bring him around to the proper way of thinking. After all, his sisters girls Narcissa and Bellatrix were there. They would help Sirius straighten out.

“Give me a quill and some parchment,” he said and Sirius practically exploded with joy.

His mother was scowling, and Regulus was looking daggers at him, but then his father sent the acceptance and nothing else mattered. He was going to Hogwarts, he was getting out of this flipping house for the better part of the year. He was going to be away from his mother and his father and Kreacher and all the creepy Pureblood inbred girls, one of which his father wanted him to marry one day. He was going to meet witches and wizards who wouldn’t care he was Pureblood, make friends who didn’t give a damn about his name. Best of all, he was going to be able to spend as much time as he liked with James.

Sirius had never had a better breakfast.

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Remus looked up to find his mother and father standing over him, with Mr Dumbledore. He smiled up at them and closed his book, putting the lid on his pen. Algebra and infinitesimal calculus. He really liked maths. It was simple, it was easy. He liked Shakespeare too, he was reading Hamlet and planned to go on to Macbeth next.

Remus spent his days sitting in The Shamrock, doing lessons well beyond his years while his parents worked. He had turned eleven back in March and it had not been the best birthday. To Remus, it had only served as a reminder that he would have to learn magic at home, that he wouldn’t get to go to Hogwarts. His birthday was also marred by day three of that months change. Not the best birthday he had ever had.

The residents of the estate all treated him as their own, and he was never short of someone to talk to. They all rather enjoyed his explanations of things they would not be able to grasp, like neurobiology and nuclear fission. They found the afternoons when he set up his chemistry set to be an entertaining, if explosive, experience. It was better for him to talk to all the adults, the children just didn’t get him. He was too mature for them, too clever, too quiet. It never bothered him, he couldn’t get along with them either. He had grown up fast, because of his condition. He had worries they didn’t, but the adults in his life understood just how complicated life could be.

Remus was a sensible little boy, he wasn’t the type to abuse their trust. If he found money in the bar, he handed it straight to Jim. If someone dropped something, he would pick it up for them. He was forever holding open doors for the ladies of the estate and helping Jim pass drinks around. He was the only child on the estate Jim trusted to handle pints and spirits, he was guaranteed that Remus wouldn’t touch a drop, unlike some of the little terrors.

“Hello, Mr Dumbledore,” Remus said politely.

“Hello, Mr Lupin. I wonder if I could have a little chat with you?” Albus said.

Remus nodded and piled up his things, carrying them over to Big Jim at the end of the bar. If Remus moved from his little table to go and talk with someone, or play pool, or out to get his lunch from Chris, Jim took his things so they wouldn’t be lost or ruined with a spilt drink.

Anne, Albus, John and Remus took a little table in the corner, away from prying eyes and the three adults smiled at him.

“Remus, Albus has been made headmaster of Hogwarts,” John said.

“Congratulations, Mr Dumbledore,” Remus said obediently. When someone had something good happen for them, you congratulated. His parents had taught him all the polite responses, and he was even able to sound genuine with them.

“Thank you, Mr Lupin, that is very nice of you to say. But I am not here to talk about me. I am here to offer you a very special birthday gift,” Albus said and Remus blushed.

“Thank you, sir, but you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Oh, it is my pleasure to give it to you. I think you will rather enjoy it, though I apologise for it being a few months late,” the old wizard said.

“That doesn’t matter, it’s the thought that counts. What is it?” Remus asked.

“How would you like to come to Hogwarts this September?”

Remus’ jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Go to Hogwarts? Actually physically go to Hogwarts? It wasn’t possible, not with his condition, as his family called it. He couldn’t go, he knew that. He had put away hopes of going the day he was bitten. He still had his dreams, and the stories his mother told him, but they were nothing but a fantasy to him.

“I’m sorry, sir, but can you repeat that, please? I don’t think I heard you right.”

“I am offering you a place at Hogwarts. I have figured out a way for you to attend without anyone knowing about your condition.”

Remus was intrigued. “How, sir?”

Albus smiled. “I am having a house built in the village near the school, and a tunnel leading from the Hogwarts grounds to the house. When it is completed, a Whomping Willow will be planted over the entrance to the tunnel. During your changes, the school nurse and I will take you through the tunnel, and you will stay in the house for the three days. You will continue to tell people you were bitten by a dog, if they see your mark, and we will tell people some lie or other, to explain your absences. Perhaps your mother is ill and you must go home to see her, or you are ill, or something else along those lines. It is entirely possible for you to attend, if you wish to,” Albus described.

Remus didn’t know what to say. It was everything he had ever wanted, right there for him to have, all he had to do was say yes. His parents were smiling, it was as if they wanted him to go. They probably did, they knew how badly he wanted this. And his uncles would be so happy for him, they knew he should be able to go, if it wasn’t for his condition.

There was just one thing stopping him from saying yes.

“What if I bite someone by accident? What if they stumbled across me one moon and I bit them?” he said worriedly. “I don’t want that, it would be horrible if someone had to go through this because of me.”

Albus smiled at him once more, and Remus noticed that his eyes twinkled. He found it reassuring, and he thought it made it seem like the man knew a secret.

“That is the purpose of the Whomping Willow,” the old wizard said. “No one will be able to get past it. You will not bite someone, I would not be inviting you if there was a danger of such a thing.”

“Well, I suppose if there’s no problem of me biting someone, and you wouldn’t mind all the trouble of taking care of me, I really would like to come to Hogwarts, Mr Dumbledore. If it’s all right,” he said timidly. He didn’t dare speak too loudly, just in case it was one of his fantastical dreams.

“I would love to have you as a student, Mr Lupin. Seeing as you are going to be one of my students, I think it would be best if I was now Professor Dumbledore.”

“Of course, Professor.”

Dumbledore clapped his hands together and beamed at them all before he extracted an envelope from his pocket. He handed it to Remus.

“Your Hogwarts letter of acceptance, and a list of all the things you will need for your first year with us. With that, I shall take my leave. I have a very special student to prepare for. Good day to you.”

And with that, he left. Remus opened his letter with shaking fingers and read it through. He had a place at Hogwarts. He…was going…to Hogwarts.

He smiled at his parents, who nodded. He gave his mother his letter before he raced off to the bar and climbed up onto a stool.

“Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim!”

“My, my, what’s got you all fired up all of a sudden, son?”

“I can go to school! The headmaster just came and told me that he’s made arrangements so I can go to mums old school!” Remus half yelled. As he said it, Jim gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen. It probably matched his own.

“Annie, is this true? Can our bright as a button boy go to a school that will actually be able to teach him something he doesn’t know?” Jim called across the pub.

“Yes, it’s true. The school is called Hogwarts and it is a boarding school for gifted children. We thought Remus wouldn’t be able to go, with his illness, but Headmaster Dumbledore has made special arrangements for him. Remus begins in September,” she announced to the packed bar.

There was a moment of silence, before the whole place went up in a cheer of celebration. Remus found himself spending the afternoon surrounded by his uncles, and his parents, and all the faces he had grown up with, all of them telling him how proud they were of him.

Remus considered it the best day of his whole life.

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Remus giggled at his fathers excitement. It was always the same, every time they went shopping with his mother.

They were in Diagon Alley, Remus and Anne and John, list in hand. So far, all they had done was make it through the archway. Even that had made his father exclaim it was incredible. His father said that every single time they went to Diagon Alley.

Remus thought his father might be more excited than he was about Hogwarts. He kept gushing about how special Remus was, about what a good time he would have at school. It was nice to have his father smile like that, it was a while since he had done it.

They made their way down the street, first visiting Gringotts and then purchasing all the necessary equipment. There was a cauldron and a telescope and a set of weighing scales. His mother proclaimed that his wand would be the last thing they bought, as it would take the longest. Remus didn’t understand what she meant, but he would soon find out so he didn’t question it. They bought a very nice wooden trunk for him to take his things in, and his mother had the shopkeeper carve his name in the lid. It was quite plain, very little decoration, and Remus liked it. He hadn’t liked the elaborate ones in the shop, they made him slightly dizzy.

“Oh, go on then. Here’s the list, give it to the sales witch and she’ll gather them all up for you. Take these galleons before you speed off, you can’t get them without money,” Anne said and John practically whizzed off to the moon with enthusiasm. She passed him Remus’ book list and a small pouch of money and he gave them a smile before he made his way through the crowds to Flourish and Blotts.

“He’s loving all this, isn’t he?” Remus asked and she smiled down at him.

“He’s loved Diagon Alley since the very first time I brought him here. Your father loves magic, he thinks were the most special people in the world because we can do it,” she explained. “Now, I’m going to give you this pouch of money and you’re going to go and get your uniform in Madame Malkin’s. I’m going to go and get your potions ingredients while your father can’t see, it makes him squeamish.”

“Okay.”

He accepted the small bag and put it in his pocket before he weaved his way through the milling people to Madame Malkin’s. He was smaller than everyone else and he kept getting hit by their bags, so it was a relief to step inside.

“Hello, dear. Hogwarts, First Year?” asked the friendly looking witch.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“All right, my dear, back here. We’ll get you all measured up. Got another one being measured too.”

Remus stepped up onto the stool and sniggered at how much smaller he was than the other boy. His head only came up to his shoulder. The boy had the blackest hair he had ever seen, it almost shone blue. Oh wait, it did shine blue when he moved his head. And his eyes were the blue of a clear summer sky.

“Hello. I’m Remus Lupin,” he said, holding out his hand.

“I’m Sirius Black, it’s nice to meet you, Remus,” he replied, taking the hand and shaking it. “Are you going to Hogwarts too?”

Remus couldn’t reply for a moment as the witch dropped a huge robe over his head, and then sighed before she pulled it straight back off. “Oh dear. You’re such a small one, dearie, I’ll have to find a smaller robe to pin. Stay there, my love.”

She bustled away and Sirius sniggered, and then blushed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, it’s rude of me to laugh.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind you laughing. My uncles laugh all the time. I’m used to it. I’ve always been small, it doesn’t bother me,” Remus reassured. “And yes, I am going to Hogwarts.”

“Brilliant. Are you here with your parents?”

“Yes, they’re off getting my books and potions ingredients. Are your parents here?”

“Just my father, he’s getting my books. My mother stayed at home with my brother.”

“You have a brother?” Remus asked after a smaller robe was dropped over his head.

“Yes. His name is Regulus, he’s a year younger than me. Why? Don’t you have any brothers?” Sirius said, wincing as he was stabbed by a pin.

“No. I’m an only child.”

“Consider yourself lucky, they’re a right pain in the neck,” the taller boy said and Remus smiled.

They were quiet for a while as their robes were pinned and adjusted and then they stood together as the rest of their uniforms were made up.

“What are you?” Sirius blurted out and Remus paled. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that, it was really rude. It’s none of my business.”

“It’s all right. My mum says you don’t know if you don’t ask. What did you mean, what am I?” Remus said, careful of the words he chose. The boy could be asking about anything, it didn’t automatically mean his illness.

“Well…ummm…I’m a Pureblood…”

Sirius didn’t need to say anything more. “I’m half. Well, I think I am. My mum’s a Muggleborn witch and my dad’s a full muggle, not a drop of magic in anyone but me and my mum. That makes me half-blood, right?”

Sirius couldn’t believe his luck. He had wanted to meet someone like Remus, someone who could prove his parents wrong. Most of all, he had wanted to meet a wizard who didn’t care about his name or blood status. Remus hadn’t done a double take at his name, or sneered at him for being a Pureblood.

“I think so. I’ve never met anyone like you before. My whole family are Purebloods. Well, almost,” Sirius revealed.

“Really?” sad Remus. He was just as fascinated by Sirius as Sirius was by him. He had never met a wizard his own age. He had never had a good conversation with anyone his own age.

“Yes. I have a cousin who married a Muggleborn, but that’s it, I think.” He worried his lip for a moment. “Remus?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to ride the train to Hogwarts with me and my friend James?”

Remus grinned. He and his parents had already worked out that the moon wasn’t until halfway through September. He could take the train, and he could hardly wait. His mother made it sound like so much fun. She was even going to give him a bag of Wizarding money to buy some sweets from the trolley.

“I’d really like that,” Remus said and Sirius smiled. He thought it might be the prettiest smile he’d ever seen. It made the boys whole face light up, and his eyes seemed to shine. It was far better than his nervous look.

“That’s you done, Master Black. Am I charging it to your family vault?” the witch asked and Sirius nodded, accepting his packages.

“I’ll see you on the train, Remus,” Sirius said and waited for his nod before he left the shop with a wave.

Remus could see Sirius’ father through the window. He was a very tall, very stern looking man. It didn’t look like he had ever smiled, and Sirius didn’t seem very happy to be with him. They had a strange little creature with them, carrying all the packages. It didn’t look happy either.

He paid for his uniform and waited in one of the chairs until someone came to get him. He wasn’t about to go wandering off, it wasn’t the right thing to do. This was not the estate, he wasn’t amongst family here. He had to be careful, like he was taught to be away from home. His father arrived, carrying a pile of books wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. He was still unspeakably cheerful and it made Remus smile.

“Got everything?” John asked as he sat down beside his son.

“Yes, I got everything. Mum’s gone for potions ingredients.”

John shuddered. “How about an ice cream while we wait for her?”

Remus nodded and together they enjoyed chocolate orange sundaes with hazelnuts. “I made a friend, dad,” Remus said and his father smiled. “Well, I think he’s my friend. We’re going to take the train together, so you and mum don’t have to worry about me sitting alone all journey.”

John sniggered guiltily. He and Anne really had to be more careful about what Remus might overhear. Their son didn’t eavesdrop, it wasn’t in his nature. But they did forget he was in the room with them sometimes, he was just so damn quiet.

“Does this friend have a name?” he enquired.

“Sirius Black and his whole family are magical and he’s a Pureblood, and he has a brother called Regulus.”

“Who has a brother called Regulus?”

They looked up to see Anne standing over them with more than just potions ingredients. Remus’ mother was holding a cage, which contained a beautiful black owl.

“A new owl? I thought you didn’t want a new one after Merlin died,” Remus said, pushing a nut from his ice cream through the bars for the bird, who hooted its thanks.

“Oh, this bird isn’t for me, darling. He’s for you, so you can take him with you to school and write to us, let us know how you’re getting on,” she said, handing him the cage. “Your father and I thought you deserved something special for getting in to Hogwarts.”

He put it on the table and gazed at the bird. It was absolutely beautiful, and it was his. He hadn’t considered a pet, it was something that had never in his life crossed his mind. He didn’t know why, he just hadn’t thought about it. But here it was, a beautiful black owl all of his own.

He threw his arms around Anne and smiled up at John. “Thank you,” he exclaimed. “He’s beautiful, I love him.”

His parents smiled. Remus filled his mother in on Sirius as they made their way to Ollivander’s for his wand, his father carrying the packages and his mother carrying the owl. Remus was just too small to carry them and make it through the crowds in one piece.

Ollivander’s was a dark dusty shop and Remus felt like electricity was dancing along his skin. It was quiet like the library, and he liked it. There were shelves and shelves of long thin boxes, and a very spindly chair by the door. His mother sat in the chair and waited, though he didn’t know what she was waiting for. His father looked around the shop with him.

“Miss Graham, what a pleasant surprise to see you. I had thought I never would again,” came a voice and Remus stared all around the room for it. He jumped as a man appeared behind him, apparently from no where. “Ten inches, birch, nice wand for transfiguration work.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Mr Ollivander,” Anne said. “I’m Mrs. Lupin now, and I’ve come so my Remus can get his wand.”

“Ah yes, Albus did mention something about a special student coming to see me soon. I cannot think of a more special child than your son, my dear.” He looked down at Remus, who offered a small smile. “How nice to meet you, Mr Lupin.”

“Hello, Mr Ollivander,” Remus said, offering his hand. Ollivander took it and gave it a squeeze. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Ollivander turned to John. “How nice to meet a muggle excited by our world as much as you. Always such a rare indulgence for me,” he said, shaking John’s hand.

Remus found himself attacked by a tape measure while Ollivander pulled several of the boxes from the shelves. His mother smiled encouragingly as he tried each of them. It took several hours, and he knew now what his mother meant by it taking the longest. The sun was starting to set by the time he actually found the right one. Mr Ollivander told him it was the wand that chose the wizard. He wondered if one was ever going to chose him.

He picked up wand twelve hundred and twenty three and a warmth spread through his whole arm. He gave it a wave and managed to make the cash register float a few inches, which made the three adults clap.

“I should have found it sooner,” Ollivander said, shaking his head. “It seems so obvious now. Cherry wood, thirteen and a quarter inch, unicorn tail hair and the tip of a thestral feather. One of the more unusual wands I’ve made. Perfect for Defence Against the Dark Arts, I should think. Light for the most part, very sweet, with the slightest tickle of darkness. The perfect wand for a sweet little werewolf.”

Remus stared open mouthed in his shock, and his parents were stiff with terror. Oh God, if Mr Ollivander told anyone, his chance at Hogwarts would be over before it started. “You…you know about me, sir?” he whispered.

“Yes, Mr Lupin, I do know. It is clear from your wand, and from the way you look, the pale skin, the thinness. I have helped many of your kind find their wands. I recognise a werewolf when I see one. My godson shares your condition. I assure you that your secret is safe with me,” he guaranteed and all three Lupin’s breathed a sigh of relief.

They paid for his wand and gathered up all their purchases, securing them all inside Remus’ trunk, which Anne shrunk and put in her pocket. John took hold of the owl, who had yet to gather a name. As they opened the door, Remus spun around and slowly made his way back to the counter. Ollivander leaned down to listen to him.

“Thank you, sir,” Remus whispered. “Thank you for my wand, and your silence. I really do want to go to Hogwarts.”

“You are very welcome, Mr Lupin. You will have a wonderful time there, and we will surely be seeing great things from you,” the man said and waved as Remus left with his parents.

When they returned home, Remus took his owl and raced around to The Shamrock to show his uncles. The men considered it an odd way of communication, but it seemed to suit the special little boy. He was never one to do things like other children.

As he slipped off to sleep that night, Remus stared at his wand and wondered if Mr Ollivander was right. Was he really going to show them great things? He hoped so. He had been given the chance of a lifetime, and he didn’t intend to waste it.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The first of September was a bright sunny day, and Remus enjoyed the drive to Kings Cross. His mother had helped him pack his trunk the night before, and she had made him a blanket for his bed at school, in case he got homesick. His father had spent most of the summer dissuading his uncles from accompanying them to the train, and he had only succeeded yesterday by telling them that Remus didn’t want them to see him get all teary as he said goodbye.

Anne was trying to stay positive, but it was hard when her only child was going to be away for months. John had given her big points for her offer to Remus. She had told the boy that they wouldn’t be offended or upset if he chose not to come home during the Christmas and Easter breaks. She had been lying, of course, it would break her heart if her boy didn’t come home for Christmas, but she accepted that this was all new and exciting for her son, and Christmases at Hogwarts were wonderful.

It took Remus a full twenty minutes to get settled on the train, sat by the window in a compartment by himself. He hadn’t seen any sign of Sirius, but the platform had been packed so he wasn’t worried. His trunk was stowed away in the overhead rack by John, his backpack was laden with books to read and money for the trolley by Anne, and his owl had a very secure perch in his cage. Anne set him up with bottles of water for the journey and she stuffed his pockets with tissues. In the end, Remus had begged his father to make her stop, and, after a few tearful hugs and kisses, John managed to persuade Anne that it was time.

And finally, the train began to move and he was on his way.

Remus was soon joined in his compartment by a little blond boy who seemed very shy and sat in the middle of the seat opposite, buried in a book. They were then joined by a crying girl being consoled by a boy with black hair. They sat on either side of the door. Remus said a polite hello to each of them and then buried himself in War and Peace once more.

“She hates me! My big sister hates me!” the girl cried. She had auburn hair and, when she turned her head, Remus noticed that she had very green eyes.

“She’ll come around,” the black haired boy said. He was very thin and had black eyes. He was very pale too. Remus would have wondered if he was a werewolf, if he hadn’t known he was the only one in the whole school.

“No, she won’t!”

Remus didn’t want to butt in, it wasn’t any of his business really, but she was so upset. She seemed really distraught and he wanted to help. He pulled a wad of tissues from his pocket and held them out to the girl.

“Thank you,” she said, accepting them and using them to mop up her tears.

“You’re welcome. He’s right, you know,” Remus said and she looked at him in question. “Your sister doesn’t hate you. It’s very hard to actually hate someone. Was she angry when she said it?”

The girl nodded.

“Then it was just the heat of the moment. She’ll come around, she didn’t really mean it. Just give her time to cool off and you can try talking to her again. She’s your sister, she loves you. Just give her some time and it’ll all work out, you’ll see.”

She offered him a watery smile. “Thank you. I’m Lily, Lily Evans.”

“Remus Lupin. Who’s your friend?” he asked, putting his book on the table beside his water.

“I’m Severus Snape,” said the boy.

“Peter Pettigrew,” the blond boy offered after some gentle coaxing.

Remus had a mass of questions for them, but he didn’t get to ask. At that moment a boy with messy black hair and glasses poked his head in the door.

“I’m sorry, but I’m looking for a boy called Remus Lu-something,” he said.

“I’m Remus Lupin. Am I the one you’re looking for?”

“Yes, you’re the one.” The messy head was pulled back and he yelled down the train. “Oi! I found him!”

A moment later Remus smiled as Sirius came into view. “You still want to take the train together?” he asked and Remus nodded.

“Come and join us, the more the merrier.”

The two boys moved in and Sirius sat down opposite him, leaving the other boy to sit beside Remus.

“Sorry I didn’t find you before, it was a bit hectic,” Sirius said. “This is James Potter, my best mate. James, this is Remus Lupin.”

The two of them shook hands and Remus introduced the rest of his compartment mates. James seemed very interested in Lily.

“Blimey, you like to get a head start, don’t you?” James said, staring at Remus’ War and Peace.

Remus sniggered at their looks of disbelief when he told them it was reading for fun, not school. Their jaws dropped when he revealed he had already finished all his school books. He had found them very interesting.

“But it’s huge! When did you start reading it?” Sirius asked, weighing it in his hands.

“Yesterday afternoon. I’m only halfway through, so I probably won’t be finished until sometime tonight,” he replied honestly as it was returned to its place on the table and their jaws dropped once more.

“How is that possible? That can’t be possible,” Severus said. “How can you read so fast?”

Remus suddenly had the horrible thought that maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. This was how he had isolated himself in primary school, when he had gone to school. So far no one had made fun of his name, and he was very glad of that. But this was not just a name, this was something that made him different, set him apart.

So, instead of saying anything, he shrugged and picked at the hem of his long sleeved shirt.

Sirius watched him shrug and considered that Remus had probably not had the best luck with kids his own age. He had seen it before, so had James. Children who had grown up fast, spent a lot of time with adults, had a special something that set them apart. Sirius had experienced it in his own family. Considering the size of the book, the way Remus spoke, the politeness he had displayed, he thought it was probably something to be proud of that was making Remus so embarrassed. He had probably been teased about it.

“You’re clever, aren’t you?” Sirius said and Remus looked at him in surprise. “It’s okay, you know, if you are. We won’t tease you for it.”

Sirius smiled encouragingly at him, as did James, and they waited patiently for Remus to tell them how he got through it so fast.

“I read two pages at once,” he said shyly.

Okay, that was a new one. Sirius had never heard that one before, and a quick glance at James confirmed that he hadn’t either.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

Remus took a deep breath. “Well, when I read I look at two pages at the same time, one with each eye. My mum says it looks like I’m staring at the fold in between the pages, but I’m not. I’m reading both at the same time.”

“That is so cool,” Peter said. “I wish I could do that. Do you remember what you read?”

“Yes, I remember everything I read.”

“Lucky. I can barely remember a thing,” Peter said miserably.

The conversation flowed smoothly after that. Remus found out quite a lot about his companions families. James and Sirius had been friends since they were four, their fathers both worked at the Ministry. Peter’s family was very over protective, he’d had dragon pox as a small boy and almost died. The three of them were all Pureblood’s, and apparently swimming in money. Lily was Muggleborn and her Irish father worked for a newspaper, taking photographs. Severus was like Remus, kept his mouth shut about his family. Remus didn’t know Severus’ reason for keeping quiet, but his was simple. He didn’t want to start lying on the very first day. If he opened his mouth about his family and his home, he’d have to start with the lies. His friends couldn’t know the real reason why he had been forced to leave school, and why he was so ill.

“What about you, Remus?” Lily asked. “What’s your family like?”

He took a deep breath, ready to start on the lies, hating himself for it already, but he was saved by two girls poking their head around the door. One was a brunette with dark eyes and the other was a blonde with ice blue eyes. They were already in their uniforms, which bore the Slytherin crest, and they fixed Sirius with a disgusted stare.

“There you are. What are you doing in here? Uncle Canis told you to sit with us,” said the brunette girl.

“I’ll sit where I like,” Sirius said angrily. “You can’t tell me what to do and he’s not here.”

The brunette had to be soothed by the blonde so she didn‘t jump him. “Keep a civil tongue, you little bastard,” the brunette snarled.

“I’ll say what the hell I like, Bellatrix. No one’s here to stop me.”

“You keep on like this and we will,” said the blonde.

“Oh really? And how will you do that, Narcissa? Get your little boyfriend to hex me? I’d like to see him beat me in a fight,” Sirius said and James shot him a warning glance.

The two girls looked around the cabin and Bellatrix fixed her eyes on Remus. “What are you?” she asked.

“What he is, is none of your business,” James spat.

“Oh look, little Potter has a tongue in his head. Makes a change, doesn’t it, Bella? Snivelling little shit usually can’t say a word to us,” said Narcissa.

Remus wanted to know what the hell was going on, but it wasn’t the right time to open his mouth. James and Sirius looked ready to curse the two witches into next week and he didn’t doubt that they could. He really didn’t want to be the cause of a fight.

“I’ve had enough of this. Let the little prick do what he wants, it’s his neck. Any of you little ones want to be in Slytherin?” Bellatrix asked them all.

Severus perked up immediately and Sirius wanted to throttle him. He had been sitting with a little snake all this time, something he had wanted to avoid at all costs. Why hadn’t he asked the same question? James shot him another warning glance and he stared out of the window, ignoring the whole thing.

“I want to be in Slytherin,” Severus said and the two girls smiled at him.

“Are you a Pureblood?” Narcissa questioned.

“My mum is.”

“What about your father?” grilled Bellatrix.

“A muggle,” he said disgustedly.

“You don’t like your father?”

“No. He’s not very nice.”

They two smiled at him again, and Remus decided he didn’t like that smile. It gave him the heebie jeebies, as Uncle Joe called it. “Come on then, you can sit with some real witches and wizards, we’ll show you the proper way to behave in Hogwarts,” said Narcissa and Severus sprung to his feet, joining them in the corridor without even a glance at anyone, not even Lily. “Anyone else?”

They all sat quietly shaking their heads and Bellatrix moved into the cabin. She grabbed Remus by the wrist and hauled him to his feet. He was so small, he barely reached her elbow. James and Sirius leapt to their feet, as did Peter as Bellatrix dragged him to the door. He didn’t dare fight back, he was too strong for that. She would go flying and he would be done for. His parents had told him to act the way he did around his uncles, and he would stick to that.

“What are you?” Bellatrix asked him again and Remus looked to the three Pureblood boys. They looked furious, but Sirius gave him a nod to answer her.

“My mum’s a Muggleborn witch and my dad’s a muggle,” Remus said nervously. “Why? I didn’t know it mattered.”

“I’m a Pureblood and your superior, you little mudblood.”

“How does that make you my superior?” he questioned. He ignored the word, he could find out what it meant later. He didn’t understand, and he did what he always did, he tried to find the information he was lacking.

She slapped him hard across the face and Sirius caught him as he went hurtling across the compartment. James and Peter shoved her into the hall and she sneered at them, muttering ‘mudblood’ once more before she left, Narcissa and Severus following her, though Severus didn’t look so excited about going anymore.

Peter slammed the door shut and Sirius guided Remus to his seat again. His lip was split where her nail had caught him and his face was burning but he jerked his head away as Sirius tried to press a tissue to his bloody mouth.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Remus, I promise,” he said gently. “Hold still.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me, reflex action,” Remus said as he held still and let Sirius mop him up. They were all looking at him weirdly, and he knew they were wondering why he pulled away. He may as well just get it over with. “I have a problem with my blood.”

There, he had said it now, he couldn’t take it back. It wasn’t really a lie, there was something wrong with it. He had to explain why he pulled away, and one slap around the face could not explain it. The effect of those seven little words was instantaneous. Sirius pulled his hand away and James peered worriedly at the bloodied tissue in his hand. Peter even backed up a step and Lily looked nervous of him now.

“Don’t worry, you can’t catch it. I was born with it,” Remus reassured and they smiled at him. “What does it mean, what she called me?”

Sirius growled as he grabbed Remus’ bottle of water and soaked a fresh tissue with it. He didn’t want to use spells on him, not until he knew what was wrong with his blood. It could make him really sick, he had to be careful of what he cast on him. He cleaned up the blood from his face, but he just wouldn’t stop bleeding. It was gushing from the tiny little cut, literally pouring from his lip.

“Why won’t it stop?” Lily asked terrifiedly.

“It’s me,” Remus said calmly and pulled another tissue from his pocket, pressing it to where he was bleeding. It took him a while to stop bleeding, he needed healing charms to help him do it with any real speed. It made mornings after his change a messy business. It had a good point though, werewolf slow healing time. It was perfect to fit in with The Lie. It was just a good thing his skin wasn’t as delicate as it looked. He knew, from his reading, that a human would not be able to bite him, something about the human oral structure made piercing his skin with their teeth an impossibility. Apparently, human fingernails did not have the same problem. He knew he couldn’t infect her this way, that would only happen if he bit her, which he didn’t plan on doing. Apart from anything, he didn’t think she’d taste very nice.

“That’s what’s wrong with my blood. Something about my blood, a deficiency in it, means it doesn’t work as well as it should. It takes me a long time to stop bleeding, and I get ill every few weeks because of it. I get tired and weak, but it passes. Professor Dumbledore arranged for me to be taken care of when it’s bad.”

The four of them nodded at him and he sat back, waiting for it to stop. He already knew they’d be waiting for at least an hour, maybe two, and he would have a spectacular bruise on his cheek come the arrival at Hogwarts.

“Can’t they cure it?” Peter asked.

“No. They’ve tried, but nothing works. It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’ll stop bleeding in a bit, you’ll see. You didn’t answer me, Sirius. What did it mean, the word she used?”

Sirius threw himself back into his seat. What a perfect way to start his time at Hogwarts, his bitch cousin hitting his new friend.

“Mudblood is a nasty word for someone Muggleborn or half-blood. My family is obsessed with blood purity, they’re convinced Purebloods are better,” he said eventually. “Mudblood means dirty blood. It’s not usually a term one hears in civilised company. I’m so sorry, Remus. I should have been faster, got to you before she did.”

“It’s all right, can’t be helped now. Who are they?”

“My cousins. They’re both Slytherin’s and the apples of my fathers eye. Canis, the uncle they were talking about, is my father. Do you remember me telling you about the cousin I have that married a Muggleborn?” Remus nodded. “Their big sister Andromeda. She married Ted Tonks and my family disowned her. Bella hit you because you asked why she was superior.”

“I don’t understand. I wasn’t being cheeky, I was curious,” Remus said, pulling a mirror from his bag. Anne really had included everything. He pulled the tissue away, held up the mirror and gingerly pressed the wound. It continued to bleed, so he grabbed a clean tissue and continued to press it. Oh, this was ridiculous. He couldn’t talk through a tissue for the next two hours. “Before you explain that, can you do any healing charms?”

“Yeah, I’m really good at them. Is it all right to use them on you?” Sirius asked pulling out his wand.

“It’s fine. I’ll feel a little queasy afterwards, but it’s better than the bleeding. You’ll have to be quick once I pull the tissue away. It’ll flow pretty fierce.”

Sirius nodded and cast the quickest charm in his whole life as the tissue was pulled away. It healed and Remus looked a little green. The smaller boy pulled a small tub of healing balm out of his bag and began to rub the orange cream into the bruise already dark on his pale cheek. As his hand moved, Sirius noticed that there was another one on his wrist, where Bellatrix had grabbed him.

“Bella thought you were being cheeky. She thinks she so fucking superior, excuse my language,” James explained. “To her, and quite a few other Purebloods, they are superior. My family don’t give a damn, to them magic is magic. But Sirius’ family care a lot. Best to avoid them if you can. He’ll point out the nice and nasty ones.”

Remus nodded and looked around. Peter was still angry, he could tell by the scowl. But Lily was terrified by his bleeding. She was staring at his face and, for some reason, his wrist. He looked down at it and sniggered.

“Did I mention that I bruise really easily? Probably best if I don’t go in for Quidditch, I might pass for a work of art.”

It broke the ice and all of them laughed. Remus didn’t hesitate this time in telling them of his uncles, of his home and it made him feel so much lighter. He knew he was lying to them, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. They were his friends, and nothing else mattered at that moment.

Sirius couldn’t believe his luck. Remus and Peter and Lily were still talking to him after meeting his cousins. Severus didn’t return, and he was extremely happy about that. If he wanted to be a Slytherin, Sirius didn’t want anything to do with him.

Lily and James did not hit it off. They bickered right from the get go, and it became the backdrop to the journey. It didn’t seem like those two would ever get along. They griped about everything to do with the other, and nitpicked until their throats were raw.

When the trolley arrived, they pooled their money and bought enough sweets to sink the Titanic, though only Lily understood that reference from Remus. They spent the rest of the journey munching their way through their body weights in chocolate frogs and every flavour beans and liquorish wands. As they drew close to Hogwarts, the boys turned around so Lily could change, and then she turned around so they could change.

Remus had to remove his shirt to change into his uniform, but he really did not want to. They would see his mark, and he would have to tell another lie. Dumbledore had assured him that no first year would know what the mark was, and by the time they figured it out the lie would be firmly in place. He didn’t want them to see it. If he was honest with himself, it wasn’t the lie that bothered him. It was the mark. He was ashamed of it, of what it meant. He was different, and his mark was clear proof of that.

“You have to change, Remus,” James said when he noticed Remus hadn’t changed his shirt. He had changed his trousers and his shoes, but he was still wearing his blue shirt. Apart from anything, Remus’ shirt had blood on it.

“Could…ummm…can you turn around?” Remus requested.

They stared at him. They were all boys, he didn’t have anything they hadn’t seen before, right? What could be the problem?

“We’re not going to laugh because you’re skinny,” Peter said reassuringly.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Sirius asked. Lily turned around cautiously and joined in with the confused stares.

Remus sighed and removed his shirt. “It’s this,” he said and their jaws dropped.

“Merlin, what happened to you?” Sirius breathed, moving a little closer so he could get a better look.

“I was bitten by a dog when I was little. It’s how they diagnosed my illness, it wouldn’t stop bleeding,” he said quietly, hanging his head as he blushed a furious shade of red, hugging himself.

Sirius took a deep breath and picked up Remus’ school shirt, James packing away the bloodied one for him. They had grown up around inbred Pureblood children with more health problems than most. Peter himself had a problem with his digestive tract, his parents had been cousins before they married. The two of them were amongst the lucky few, there was no inbreeding in their veins. They had seen kids like Remus their whole lives, kids ashamed of scars and embarrassed by illnesses. They knew just how to handle him, and by the looks Lily and Peter were giving Remus, they knew too.

“Remus, can we catch your blood disorder?” Sirius asked.

“No,” Remus answered, staring at him in uncertainty.

“Does it automatically make you a Slytherin?” James questioned, narrowing his eyes in a suspicious gaze, and Remus laughed as he shook his head.

“Not that I know of.”

“Does the scar hurt?” Peter piped in.

“No, it’s just there.”

“Is your illness or the scar going to stop you being a student at Hogwarts? Because, you know, I want to know now if I’m spending all this time making friends with you if you’re not going to be here more than five minutes,” Lily said bluntly.

“I’m here for the seven years if I don’t get expelled.”

They all looked at each other before Sirius shoved his shirt at him. “Then get dressed. Me and James are aiming for Gryffindor, like his family. Where you aiming?”

“Anywhere but Slytherin, they don’t seem very nice,” Remus said as he finished getting dressed.

“Good man,” Sirius said, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

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The Great Hall was huge. Remus wished he had about a dozen more eyes, because he wanted to look everywhere at once. There were so many witches and wizards, all about his age. There were four long tables filled with students and one long one at the top of the hall, where Professor Dumbledore was sitting with the other professors. As they all lined up to be Sorted, like Professor McGonagall told them to, and the hat sung a song, Remus looked upwards. Above him were floating candles, and past that he could see the sky.

As Bethany Albans was called to be Sorted, he nudged James, who was standing beside him.

“Where’s the ceiling?” he whispered.

James glanced up and smiled. “That is the ceiling. It’s bewitched to look like the sky outside,” he explained quietly as Bethany became the first Hufflepuff.

Remus nodded and stood silently, waiting for his turn. Sirius Black was the first of his new friends to be Sorted. The hat sat there on his head for a few seconds before it yelled ‘GRYFFINDOR!’ Sirius gave a huge smile and made his way over to the smiling table of students. Remus noticed that the Slytherin table didn’t look very happy about Sirius’ placement.

Lily Evans was the next of the six compartment companions to be Sorted. She too was a Gryffindor. Then came a boy with ginger hair called Mundungus Fletcher, who became the first Ravenclaw. A few more students went by, and then it was Remus Lupin’s turn.

Sirius watched as his friend walked to the stool. He had chosen to sit with his back to the Slytherin’s, so he was spared the death glares and looks of disappointment. There was a space either side of him, no one wanted to sit next to a Black who, by all rights, should have gone straight to Slytherin. He couldn’t care less really. Nothing they could do now, and it wasn’t like he’d chosen Gryffindor. The hat chose for him. He could still hear it’s words in his head.

[No other place for you, not a question about it. Your family won’t be happy, but it’ll all work out. You’re a GRYFFINDOR!]

It was the best three sentences he had ever heard. McGonagall put the hat on Remus and Sirius laughed. It not only covered his eyes, but his whole head. The rim of he hat rested on his skinny shoulders, and he lifted the edge of it so he could breathe.

Remus could hear a voice in his head and it wasn’t his own. He lifted the edge of the hat so he could breathe and listened to what it was saying.

[A brilliant mind, absolutely wonderful, but I don’t think you’d suit Ravenclaw. No, much more than just your intelligence here. Very loyal, and extremely sweet, but Hufflepuff isn’t for you either. Maybe Slytherin, perhaps? Cunning, and you have been deceptive, haven’t you? Ah, I see why. Never mind, some lies are only for the best. No, definitely not Slytherin, they’d eat you alive, and you’re not bloodthirsty, you wouldn’t fit in. Ah, I know where to put you. I know exactly where you should go. Good heart, brave, plenty of courage. Your best fit, though you could go anywhere really, is GRYFFINDOR!]

The last word was shouted and the hat was pulled from his head. He made his way over and sat down opposite Sirius, who was beaming at him, and beside Lily, who gave him a pat on the back.

Peter Pettigrew was also a Gryffindor, though it had taken the hat a while to decide that. For James Potter, the hat barely touched his head before it yelled Gryffindor. James sat next to Remus and Peter next to Sirius, the four of them making a kind of square.

A black boy called Kingsley Shacklebolt became a Ravenclaw, like Mundungus Fletcher, and then Severus Snape got his wish and was made a Slytherin. More than half of the students so far had been put in Slytherin. Severus practically skipped off to the Slytherin’s, where he sat next to a tall boy with long blond hair and a Prefect’s badge. Narcissa was very chummy with the blond boy, who was glaring daggers at the back of Sirius’ head. He looked along the Slytherin table as the Sorting finished up and noticed Bellatrix sniggering at something a mean looking boy had said.

The final student to be Sorted was a short tubby girl called Delores Umbridge. She simpered up to McGonagall as the woman beckoned her to the stool and Remus took an instant dislike to her. She was such a suck up, and he doubted it would get her anywhere. Delores was Sorted into Slytherin, and Remus found he wasn’t surprised.

Once the Sorting was over, Professor Dumbledore said a few odd words and the food appeared on the tables.

“Sirius, who’s that with Bellatrix, and that one with Narcissa?” Remus asked between bites of shepherds pie and roast potatoes.

Sirius craned around and rolled his eyes, casting a look at James as he stabbed at his beef hotpot. Remus had the impression he was imagining the hotpot to be the two boys.

“Their future husbands,” James said.

“They’re engaged already?” Remus questioned.

“No, they’re part of arranged marriages. It’s common in Pureblood families to arrange your child’s marriage for them,” Sirius clarified. “Cissa and Bella are bought and paid for, it’s a done deal. When the girls leave here, they’ll marry those boys. The one with Bella is Rodolphus Lestrange, and the boy on her other side is his brother Rabastan. They’re German and moved here when they were about two. The other one, the blond, his name is Lucius Malfoy, and his family are French. Purebloods, all of them.”

“And nasty bits of work,” said Peter. “I met them once, when I was younger, at a party my granddad threw. They’re horrible.”

“Excellently put,” said an older redheaded boy wearing a Prefects badge as he sat down in the free space to Sirius’ left, grabbing a roll to munch on. “They’re real pieces of work. I’d bet my life on Lucius having bought that badge, and Rodolphus gets more revolting every year. Just shows what bad taste the ugly sisters have got.”

“Hello, Fab, how you doing?” James said cheerfully.

“Not too bad, Potter, can’t complain. Became an uncle.”

“Really?”

“Yup. My big sister Molly and her husband had their first baby, a boy named Charlie. Just had his first birthday. Real cracker of a kid, loves to use you as a climbing frame.”

“Congratulations,” said Remus. He didn’t know who the boy was, but he seemed nice enough, and it was good news.

“Fab, this is Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Lily Evans,” Sirius said, pointing them all out. They each received a nod and a smile. “Everyone, this is Fabian Prewett. He’s one of my nice relatives.”

“They met Bella and Cissa then?” Fabian said with a grin.

“Unfortunately,” Sirius said.

“Fab, Remus and Lily are so called mudbloods, according to Bella,” James said with a sly smile at Sirius, who was grinning. “Lily’s Muggleborn, so is Remus’ mum, and his dads a full muggle.”

“Really? Brilliant!” Fabian said excitedly. “Can never have too many of you lot.”

Remus and Lily looked at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles. He was so happy, it was infectious.

“Fabian’s family are so called blood traitors because they get along with people like you and Lily. His father works as a muggle accountant and is my mothers brothers son, which makes Fab, his brother Gideon and his sister Molly my… second cousins, I think. They’re the nice side of the family, but you’ve got no hope of finding them on my family tree,” Sirius said to Remus. “Fabian’s mum and James’ mum spend a lot of time together, hence me actually knowing the decent members of the family. I spent a lot of time at James’ when I was little.”

Remus beamed. Cinderella reference explained then, and how they all knew each other. “Your dad’s an accountant?”

“Yup. He’s forever bringing home muggle bits and pieces. Brilliant really, our house is never dull,” Fabian said. “Arthur, that’s Molly’s husband, does the same, and Arthur’s dad. The three get on like a house on fire, all as nutty as each other.”

Remus decided there and then that Fabian was one relative of Sirius’ he liked, even if the familial connections were hard to keep track of. Maybe Sirius would draw him a diagram or something. The dinner disappeared and the plates sparkled once more before desert arrived. Remus couldn’t quite decide what he wanted, it all looked so good, and there were so many of his favourites.

“I recommend the apple pie and strawberry ice cream,” Fabian suggested and helped Remus pile some into his bowl. “You’re such a skinny one, you need fattening up, as my mum says.”

Remus sniggered around his mouthful of pie. “You won’t manage it,” he said.

“I can try.”

“My Uncle Chris has been trying for eleven years.”

“Well, now there are two of us, we might manage it.”

The conversation turned to lessons and Fabian promised to take them to meet Hagrid, the groundskeeper, at the weekend. Apparently, Hagrid’s dogs, Honeyduke and Zonko, had a puppy over the summer, called Fang. Remus didn’t want to say that the dogs wouldn’t like him, that it was best if he stayed away, so he agreed to go too.

The meal ended and Fabian geared up to show the first years to Gryffindor Tower, but he was distracted by Sirius being assaulted.

“I suppose you think you’re proud of yourself.”

They spun around to find Lucius, Narcissa, Rodolphus, Rabastan and Bellatrix standing in front of them. The Slytherin first years were being led away by a girl Prefect. Fabian took Remus and Lily and shoved them behind himself, Peter and James. Remus watched the face off from behind Fabian’s right arm.

“What makes you suppose that?” Sirius asked in a bored tone.

“A Gryffindor. Daddy will be pleased with his first born heir, won’t he, Sirius? You should be worrying about what Canis is going to say, and yet you look startlingly at ease. I wonder, have you lost your mind? Taken leave of your senses? Being a Gryffindor is a disgusting disease, you should go to Professor Dumbledore and have him resort you. It’s obviously spending time with blood traitors and mudbloods-”

“Don’t talk about things too advanced for you, Lucius, you’ll give yourself a headache. It might interfere with you shagging everything in sight before you’re sold off to that inbred piece of trash,” Sirius interrupted, motioning to Narcissa.

“You insolent little whelp. I ought to teach you to show me the proper respect,” Lucius snarled. Sirius didn’t reach much past Lucius’ shoulders, but the two of them stood chest to chest, scowling at each other.

“I’ll show it when you earn it.”

Lucius’ wand was out before Remus even saw him reach for it and Sirius was blasted back a few feet. Sirius yanked out his own wand to retaliate but never managed it.

“Mr Malfoy, fighting on your first day as a Prefect,” said a short tubby teacher who looked angry.

“He was simply showing my cousin how to perform the charm, Professor Slughorn. Poor little Sirius didn’t move out of the way fast enough,” Narcissa lied smoothly.

“Funny thing that, I didn’t hear any mention of a charm in your illuminating conversation, Mr Malfoy. Come with me, all five of you. Mr Prewett, you should get your first years off to bed.”

The five Slytherin’s growled and followed their furious professor. Fabian stepped forwards and helped Sirius up.

“At least none of them hit Remus this time,” James said.

“Hit Remus? Who hit Remus?” Fabian asked angrily.

“Bellatrix,” Lily said. “He wanted to know why being a Pureblood made her better than him.”

Fabian dissolved into a fit of laughter and hugged Remus around the shoulders. “I can’t believe I missed that! You’ll have to stand up to her again sometime, I’d pay to see it!”

“I really did want to know, she just took it the wrong way,” Remus said.

They were lead up to Gryffindor Tower, where there was a portrait of a very fat lady. Fabian told her the password, and they found themselves in a warm room filled with squashy looking armchairs and sofas.

Remus stood in his dormitory and gazed around. There were only the four of them in it, all the other dorms had more. Lily herself was rooming with seven other girls. Remus ended up with the bed closest the door with James taking the bed on his right and Sirius to his left. Peter was opposite him, nearest the window.

“Bloody hell!”

Remus looked up from putting his clothes in their proper places to see Sirius staring at his trunk. James peeked into it and let out a low whistle.

“Starting a fire, Remus?” he joked.

“No. I like to read and I had trouble deciding which books to bring. I would have brought more, but I ran out of room. I’ve got about seven times that many at home.”

Sirius crouched down and looked at the novels. Remus had about fifty of them, all neatly packed away. None of the cover pictures moved, and there were no books by these authors in the Black family library.

“Are they all muggle books?” he asked and Remus nodded, reaching over him to grab a blanket from his trunk, revealing even more books. “Merlin! How many are in here?”

“Eighty seven muggle books, plus the three in my backpack. This pile doesn’t count, it’s my schoolbooks,” Remus said, extracting the textbooks and arranging them tidily on a shelf in his nightstand. He didn’t want to keep them with his fun books, he’d just get mixed up.

Sirius stared at them all. Ninety books, all just for fun. He had never known anyone who liked to read this much. And he had never seen such a collection of muggle literature. It made his fingers itch and his mind churn. All the knowledge contained in those books, all the secrets his family had never let him have. It would piss his family off no end if he read any of them. He might ask to borrow one of Remus’ books for that reason alone. Remus moved a few of them aside to grab a small bag, probably containing his toiletries or something, and Sirius frowned in confusion.

“What’s this?” he asked, holding up the battered thing he had found. It wasn’t really recognisable as anything, so he had to ask, his curiosity was absolutely buzzing.

Remus blushed. “That’s Romulus.”

“Romulus?” James questioned, peering at it. “What is Romulus exactly?”

“Ummm…well…he’s my…”

Sirius caught on and carried Romulus to his bed, where he extracted Cuddles from his trunk. “He’s your teddy bear. This is Cuddles, he’s mine,” he said, chucking Cuddles at Remus.

Remus grinned as he looked down at the bear. It was in a lot better shape than Romulus. Cuddles practically looked new in comparison. Cuddles was a dark brown and had a green bow tie. Romulus had once been blue, and his clothes had once been a pair of blue dungarees. Not anymore, Romulus was all faded and dirty and there was a bloodstain on one of his ears from one time Remus had a paper cut and didn’t notice.

“Cuddles is obviously in better health than Romulus is,” Remus said and Sirius sniggered.

“Blame Kreacher, the house elf. He cleans everything to within an inch of its life. Yours looks like he was actually played with when you were young.”

“Told you,” James said and Sirius blushed. “I told you that you wouldn’t be the only one with a bear.”

James pulled out his wand and cast a charm on Romulus, returning him to looking almost new. Remus and Sirius swapped bears and the two toys took pride of place on their bedside cabinets.

Remus had just finished straightening the blanket his mother had made him when there was a knock at the door. James opened it to reveal Professor Dumbledore.

“I always find it amusing how soon a dorm looks lived in once the inhabitants get to it,” he said with a smile. “How are you boys settling in?”

“Fine, sir,” Sirius said.

“Ah, young Mr Black. Are you well after the altercation with Mr Malfoy?”

“I’m okay, it was nothing really. Just a difference in opinion.”

Dumbledore nodded. “Such things will happen. Mr Lupin, I wonder if you would come with me for a bit.”

The three other boys stared at him worriedly and Remus smiled. “It’s okay, guys. He’s just going to show me the arrangements for when I get bad,” he reassured and he waited for their nods before he followed Dumbledore out of the room.

The two of them walked across the grounds to a huge tree and a waiting woman. Remus had noticed the tree, he could see it from a window in the Great Hall and one in the dorm.

Remus was introduced to Madame Pomfrey, the school nurse, and then the two adults showed him how hard it was to get into the tunnel. You had to touch a branch to just the right spot on the tree trunk to get it to stop moving. The tunnel itself was very long, steep at both ends, and uneven underfoot. The house at the end of the tunnel was a nice house, there was even a bedroom in it for him.

The two adults explained how it was all going to work once Remus filled them in on what his new friends knew, what he had told them. They told him that on day one of his change, Madame Pomfrey would escort him through the tunnel to the house and ensure the trapdoor was secure before the moon rose. During the three changes, he would be able to tear through the house as much as the wolf desired, all the windows and doors had been charmed so he couldn’t get out. During his human hours, a house elf would bring him three meals a day and he would stay in the house. He agreed that was the best plan. It fit with the lies he had told and it wasn’t a good idea for him to be around his friends while his wolf instinct was so strong. He could be really mean on those days. Every morning, Madame Pomfrey would come and patch him up, and she assured him he could say whatever he liked to her, she would understand it wasn’t really him saying it. He would only be allowed to leave the Shrieking Shack, as it was nicknamed, the morning after his third change. Only the teachers and other members of staff knew what he really was, and Dumbledore would inform them all of Remus’ cover story at the next mornings staff meeting.

It was all very ordered, and Remus thanked them both profusely, before he was escorted back to Gryffindor Tower. He slipped into his bed, after assuring his friends that he was all right, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Before he actually succumbed to slumber, he happened upon the realisation that he wasn’t homesick. He did miss his parents, but the transition from home to school had been so smooth, it wasn’t that hard at all to get along without them.

He would see them in the holidays. And, besides, he had his friends.

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As it turned out, Fabian was an identical twin. Remus had trouble telling Fabian and his brother Gideon apart, but he liked them all the same.

It was a bright Saturday morning and the two older boys were leading the four younger ones down to Hagrid’s hut. They talked as they walked and the four friends filled the two brothers in on their first week of lessons.

Remus loved Defence Against the Dark Arts, and he quite liked Potions too. He found his lessons to be wonderful, and so interesting that he never once got bored. James was more a fan of Transfiguration, though he wasn’t bad at any of their subjects. Sirius was a lover of Charms and, unsurprisingly, pretty good at everything too. The Purebloods explained that families like theirs liked to teach their children magic young, so Sirius and James were pretty well versed in everything they were learning, but it was nice to go over it again.

Peter, unfortunately, didn’t seem to be good at any subject, despite his family teaching him young. He had managed to have an accident in every single class and actually managed to send James to the hospital wing in Charms. He got a little carried away trying to make his feather float and sent James hurtling across the room, right into a bookcase that fell on him.

Remus was only half listening to the conversation. His stomach was churning at the thought of coming face to face with a dog, let alone two. Dogs could smell what he was, and they didn’t like it. Accordingly, they attacked him to try and get rid of the apparent threat. He hoped the twins were as fast as they looked.

“Are you sure Mr Hagrid will be all right with us just turning up?” Remus asked nervously and Gideon smiled. He only knew it was Gideon because Fabian was the one with the Prefects badge, Gideon the one without.

“He’ll be fine with it, he likes visitors,” Gideon assured.

“Yeah, he’ll think it great fun to have four new ones to try his cakes on. Honestly, just pretend to eat them or something, don’t actually try it, you’ll lose teeth,” Fabian said.

Remus nerves reached a fever pitch as they reached the front door of the hut, and he was about to say he didn’t feel well so he could go back, get away, but he never got the chance as a huge boarhound came charging at them, headed for Remus.

The other five boys watched the dog approach and then the twins stepped back in confusion as it pounced on Remus, sinking its teeth into his arm as he raised them to defend himself.

Remus was screaming in pain and Sirius didn’t like the sound one little bit. The twins were wrestling with the dog, trying to get it off Remus, but it held tight, sinking its teeth in even further. Merlin, there was so much blood. If he had thought Remus bled a lot from a split lip, he was sorely mistaken. That had been nothing.

Hagrid arrived and pried the dogs jaws open, freeing Remus and keeping a tight hold on Honeyduke the dog, scolding him while watching in shock. Fabian and Gideon stepped back in horror at the bleeding, and Peter looked like he was about to throw up, but Sirius and James rushed forwards.

Remus was crying in front of his new friends and his shirt was ruined and the dog was still growling at him and…and…oh, it just wasn’t fair. He should have just declined the offer to see the puppy. He knew Hagrid knew what he really was, and if Hagrid had known he was coming he would have tied the dog up or something.

James propped Remus up and Sirius carefully tried to take a look at the arm, but Remus wouldn’t let him touch it. Merlin, he didn’t blame him. It looked like it hurt. A lot.

“Remus, you have to let me see,” Sirius said and, after a moment, Remus nodded. Sirius gently pulled the arm away from the thin chest and pulled back what was left of the sleeve. He couldn’t even see the wound, there was so much blood. And if he couldn’t see the wound, he couldn’t heal it. “I can’t see, James.”

James looked over to the twins. “Fab, he needs to see the wound to heal it. Can we take Remus into Hagrid’s hut, can he tie up the dogs or something?”

Hagrid grabbed Honeyduke and secured him to a post, and then fetched Zonko and tied her too. He scooped up Fang the puppy and tied it with its parents. James and Sirius helped Remus up and guided him into the hut, sitting him at the table. He had managed to stop crying, that was good, in his opinion.

Hagrid plonked a bowl of warm water and a few cloths on the table and stood back. The boys appeared to know what they were doing, best not to get in their way. The little one was bleeding a hell of a lot. Hagrid had never met a werewolf, which he found odd with all the weird friends he had. Maybe this bleeding was normal. He’d ask Dumbledore later. All the adults in the school were supposed to keep an eye on Remus while he settled in, make sure he was adjusting, that his inner wolf took the change well. This was probably not the best thing to happen. Ah well, Hagrid just counted himself lucky the wolf hadn’t flared and made the little one attack Honeyduke back. He wouldn’t have a dog left if that had happened, he knew that much at least.

“At least I got to see the puppy,” Remus joked as Sirius pressed a cloth to his arm, he and James holding pressure on it.

“Yeah, but an arm is too much to pay for a pet,” Peter joked back.

Within seconds the cloth was soaked and the boys pressed a fresh one to his arm, though Sirius had managed to get a look at the bite as they swapped the cloths.

“Why is he bleeding like that?” Fabian asked worriedly.

“Shouldn’t it slow a little with pressure?” Gideon suggested.

“My blood doesn’t work properly,” Remus said simply and the two redheads nodded. “Don’t worry, the guys know what to do.”

“All right, James, on three,” Sirius said, pulling out his wand. “One…two…three, now!”

The cloth was yanked away and a speedy healing charm muttered. The skin knitted back together, and Remus had to throw up before his arm could be sponged clean. Hagrid handed him a bucket to vomit into, and James explained his illness to the twins while Sirius rubbed his back, telling him it was better out than in.

“I’m okay now,” Remus said and Hagrid took the bucket back outside. James and Peter took the twins outside to give Remus some privacy while he cleaned up, though they said they were going to get a better look at the puppy.

Remus’ hand shook as he reached for a cloth to clean his arm with. Damn, it was only a week before the moon. He hated the shakes, they were horrible. It was because the wolf in him was getting stronger, his human weaker. It made his hands shake, and him restless. Give it a few more days and he would look like the drug addicts that sometimes tried to drink in The Shamrock before they found out that Big Jim wouldn’t let them.

Sirius saw the shaking and grabbed the cloth, soaked it in water and began sponging Remus’ arm for him. “Your hands were shaking like that yesterday. Does it mean you’re getting worse?” he asked.

“Yes. I usually get restless as well before I get bad, some weird reaction thing. It’s like I have this excess energy all built up inside and then I crash. When I crash, that’s when I’m bad.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?”

Remus smiled. “You’re helping already.”

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Sirius paced the dorm, waiting. He had tried reading, but he couldn’t get the words to sink in. Not even Remus’ muggle books could hold his attention.

Remus had not come back from visiting Madame Pomfrey after dinner.

“Have you seen him?” Sirius questioned James and Peter as they came in from their heated chess game in the common room.

“Seen who?” Peter asked.

“Remus. He didn’t come back,” Sirius said and their faces dropped.

“But it’s gone midnight,” James said. “Lets go tell Fab, he’ll know what to do.”

Together they all raced up to the fifth year boys room and knocked. A black haired boy peered sleepily at them as he opened the door a crack.

“What do you want?” he croaked.

“We need Fabian Prewett,” James said.

“He’s asleep, like you should be,” he said, moving to close the door, but Sirius jammed his foot in the way. “Listen, boys, I know it’s tough getting used to sleeping here, but it’ll be all right. Just go to bed, we’ll see you in the morning.”

“We’re not having trouble getting used to it here. Our friend is missing, he didn’t come back from dinner,” Peter said.

“What’s his name?”

“Remus Lupin,” James supplied

“The little one Fab said was sick?”

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed. “That’s why we’re worried.”

“All right, wait here.”

The boy disappeared and a moment later, Fabian peered out at them. “What are you all doing? Do you know what time it is?”

“We’re sorry to wake you, Fab, really we are, but Remus didn’t come back from dinner and we didn’t know what else to do,” James said.

Fabian nodded and disappeared for a moment before he emerged, pulling on his shirt and pinning his Prefects badge to it.

“How’s he been feeling lately?” Fabian asked as they went down to the common room.

“Not good. He’s had the shakes and been restless,” Sirius revealed.

“How long?”

“Since Honeyduke bit him, maybe the day before that. Do you think he’s okay?”

“I don’t know. Stay here, you can’t walk the halls at night. I’ll go to Pomfrey, or McGonagall, see if I can find out what happened to him. Try not to worry, if he is bad, they’ll be taking good care of him,” Fabian said before he slipped out of the portrait hole.

Fabian didn’t return for an hour, and when he did he brought McGonagall with him.

“I’m sorry, boys, one of us should have come to you sooner,” she said. “Mr Lupin is having one of his bad patches. He won’t be returning to the Tower for a few days.”

“We’ll go to the Hospital Wing and see him tomorrow,” Sirius said but she shook her head.

“No, Mr Black, you may not visit your friend. Mr Lupin has requested that you do not visit him. Mr Prewett will explain all to you. For now, I suggest you go to bed.”

McGonagall left the common room and Fabian explained to them that Remus had asked that they stay away, claiming he didn’t want them to see him when he was so bad. They respected that, and agreed to stay away.

The only problem was, Fabian hadn’t found Remus in the Hospital Wing, and they saw Madame Pomfrey walking towards the Whomping Willow as the sun came up.

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Remus disappeared on Monday night and was waiting for them at breakfast on Thursday morning.

Talking to Severus.

“Remus! Are you okay?” Peter asked as he and James sat down either side of him.

“And what do you want, Snivellus?” Sirius spat, standing behind the Slytherin.

“None of your business, Black,” Severus snarled, glaring at him over his shoulder.

“Stop it,” Remus said shakily. He really didn’t feel up to watching a fight. If it kicked off, his wolf would have something to say about it. “Guys, I’m fine, just tired. They took good care of me, and I’m much better now. Sirius, Severus was just telling me that he took some notes for me. We’re going to go over them after lunch, during the free period.”

“Exactly,” Severus concurred before he turned on his heel and swept away to the Slytherin table.

“That guy really gets on my last nerve,” Sirius grumbled as he sat down. He softened as Remus cast a questioning glance at him. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, really, just tired. I have to ask though, what is up with you and Severus?” Remus queried.

Sirius glanced at James, who gave him a almost imperceptible shake of the head. No, they couldn’t tell Remus. It wasn’t the right time, not while their friendship was so new. The relationship was too shaky, too uncertain. Remus would not understand, he couldn’t. So, instead of trusting the smaller boy, he shook his head and lied.

“I just have an issue with anyone on my family’s side,” Sirius said and it seemed to be enough for Remus, because he gave the Pureblood a small smile and enquired about what he had missed.

“You missed Peter sending McGonagall to the Infirmary with a head the size of a pumpkin.”

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The school year was mostly uneventful. Peter managed to send all their professors to the hospital wing at least twice, James and Sirius racked up more detentions than they knew what to do with, and Remus managed to keep his secret. His monthly changes seemed to get easier as the year went on, as if some unseen force was making the infection more controlled. Christmas and Easter, Remus stayed at Hogwarts and his parents visited him to see how he was getting on. Peter and James went home for the breaks, but Sirius stayed, claiming he wanted to see what a Hogwarts Christmas was like and he just couldn’t be bothered to pack to go home for Easter.

During the summer holidays, James invited Remus to stay at his house for a few weeks, but he couldn’t go, not with his condition, so his father had told Remus’ friends that they had family coming for the summer, and Remus was needed at home, his mother had fallen ill. The three friends saw no reason to question an adult, so they left it alone.

Their second year began, and Sirius was the first student of the year to receive a Howler, after his brother, Regulus, was Sorted into Slytherin. Sirius rather enjoyed hearing what his father would come up with next, and gleefully waited until it burst into flames at the breakfast table, chuckling at the screamed words of disappointment and toasting marshmallows while the letter burned. His smile at the angry magically amplified words seemed to infuriate the Slytherin’s. Lucius and his gang, joined now by Regulus, challenged the Gryffindor’s at least three times a week, and Remus had come to learn just how fast Sirius could be when he wanted to. The Slytherin’s usually came off with a trip to the Hospital Wing, and James, Peter and Sirius landed in detention for responding to the verbal insults. Remus managed to avoid most of the detentions, he usually kept his mouth shut.

James made the Quidditch team as their new Seeker, and it seemed to irritate Severus no end. Remus couldn’t work out why it bothered him so much, it wasn’t like he liked riding a broom, let alone the sport itself. It didn’t bother James, and Remus found himself among the four most popular boys in school. Everyone wanted to spend time with them, and Remus was never short of offers to go on a date, if he had so desired. It was rather nice, being popular. James was the star attraction, of course, but he never let his three friends feel left out. They became the coolest kids in school, and even the teachers seemed to have a soft spot for them.

Remus continued to spend time in the Library with Severus, much to his friends annoyance, but they didn’t say anything to Remus about it, so he didn’t stop. Lily spent time with Severus too, and James seemed to take a personal offence at it, thus his bickering with the girl became worse, and Severus became as hated by James as he was by Sirius, though Remus didn’t know why Sirius hated his study buddy. Peter seemed undecided, and worked with Severus when he had to, not finding any problems apart from his lack of control over his magic. Poor Severus usually ended up with an exploding cauldron and a trip to Madame Pomfrey, which James and Sirius found hilarious.

In fact, it was all rather uneventful until Halloween week. Now, Sirius and James were no fools. They knew that Remus was hiding something, just as well as they knew they were hiding something too. Peter had realised it too, he was a slow boy, but he wasn’t blind. No one had found Remus in the Hospital Wing during his supposed bad patches. And they couldn’t help but notice Madame Pomfrey making many trips to the Whomping Willow. The three boys didn’t question Remus about it, and Remus didn’t suspect that they knew he was lying. They understood that there was something Remus was hiding, and he must be hiding it for a good reason, so they left it alone.

It would have been perfect, if Sirius hadn’t been an insomniac. He didn’t sleep, it was as simple as that. He got by on no more than twenty minutes a night, and he spent his waking nocturnal hours reading Remus’ muggle books.

He often glanced up at the night sky, and he couldn’t help noticing the big bright full moon whenever Remus’ bed lay empty.

So, Halloween weekend came, and Sirius told James and Peter his theory. Sat by themselves at one end of the Gryffindor table during the Halloween feast. They scoffed at him, of course, it seemed like a ludicrous suggestion but they agreed to investigate where Madame Pomfrey kept going. It was just lucky that James had an Invisibility Cloak.

Halloween night came, night three of Remus missing, and the three boys slipped away after the matron, concealing themselves beneath the Cloak and watching as she emerged from a hidden tunnel in the base of the Whomping Willow. Little did they know, they had been overheard, and spotted reappearing from under the magical fabric.

“What are you doing?”

The boys spun around and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Lily Evans holding a lantern.

“For the love of Merlin, you scared us half to death!” James hissed. “Be quiet or we’re going to get caught!”

“You should get caught!” she snapped in a whisper.

“Evans, look, we’re just trying to…” Sirius began, but she cut him off.

“I know what you’re doing,” she said. “I heard you, Black, you and your theory. Remus Lupin a werewolf? You’re nuts! Remus can’t be a werewolf, he just can’t.”

“Why not?” Sirius argued.

“Oh, come off it! He’s sweet and kind and gentle. Does that sound like a dark creature to you?”

“No, but he is hiding something. So are the teachers. Come on, Evans, we’re just going to find out how to get into that tunnel, have a quick peek, and then go back to bed,” James said.

She stared at them for a moment before she sighed. “Fine, but I’m coming too. And there better be room under that Cloak for me when we go back to Gryffindor Tower. Hang on, what tunnel?”

They showed it to her and told her what they had seen Pomfrey do. The four second years spent the night trying different spots on the tree with twigs they made levitate. It took so long because it was a very large tree and the wind kept blowing their twigs off course. That and the Willow kept taking a swing at them.

Finally, it was Peter that found the right spot. The four of them landed in a heap at the bottom and slowly made their way along the tunnel, occasionally stepping on toes and losing their footing. As it began to approach dawn, the tunnel finally began to curve upwards.

“Ouch! That was my foot, Potter!” Lily cried.

“Shout it a little louder, I don’t think Dumbledore heard you!” he snarled back.

“Well, if you would just look where you’re going, I wouldn’t have to yell!”

“If you would just keep your big feet out of my way, I wouldn’t step on them!”

“Why you little-!”

“Shut up, both of you,” Sirius hissed. “There’s a trapdoor.”

They approached it and Peter noticed Lily hung back, poking at something she had found on the floor.

“What’s that?” the blond boy asked.

“I think it’s clothes,” she said, getting a better look at them by the lighted tip of her wand. “It is clothes, and they’ve got Remus’ name stitched in. Oh, you know what, I don’t think this is a good idea. If Remus is in there, he’s not going to want us poking our noses in.”

“Go back then,” James spat. “No one’s stopping you. In fact, we’d be glad of the silence.”

“No way! You promised to take me back under your Cloak. Without it, I’ll be caught,” she argued. She looked at the three boys, then the clothes, then the trapdoor. “Fine. But if Remus bites our heads off, I’m blaming you, Potter.”

“No one-”

Whatever James had started to say evaporated as a tortured howl came from above them. Sirius raised the trapdoor a few millimetres and glanced in, beckoning them closer so they could see too.

They now knew exactly what was in the supposedly haunted Shrieking Shack. Prowling around inside, throwing itself around, biting and clawing itself, was a sandy brown werewolf, and Sirius was crushed that he had not been wrong about his friend.

“Oh my God!” Lily whispered. “What the hell is a wolf doing in there?”

“That’s not a wolf, Evans. Look at the snout. Those markings, the ones that look like stripes, they’re the mark of a werewolf. All werewolves have them, it’s how you tell them apart,” Sirius whispered back. “And the tail, it’s all tufty.”

“The sun’s rising,” James pointed out.

The four of them watched as the wolf froze, letting out the most painful sound they had ever heard. And then it began to transform. It was horrific to watch. The fur receded back into pale skin, bones snapped and reformed, blood poured from the gashes and bite marks, and when it was over, Remus Lupin was lying in the middle of the floor, curled up in a ball. He was bleeding terribly, and he was sobbing in agony. It was heartbreaking, the breathless gasping sobs emanating from the thin battered boy.

“Let’s go,” Lily hissed, but it proved to be their undoing.

Remus froze, his latest sob catching in his throat. He could hear four heartbeats, and four sets of breathing, and there was a hissed whisper. He could smell them too, four of them, three male, one female. He couldn’t distinguish who they were, but if he could hear and smell them, that meant the trapdoor was open, the enchantment on it broken, and someone had seen him. He wondered what teachers it was.

“Who’s there?” he called out shakily. The females breath hitched. “Come on, I can hear you and smell you. Whoever you are, come out.”

None of them moved and his temper snapped, the wolf still so close to the surface controlling it.

“Get your fucking arses out here or I swear to fucking God, I am coming to find you, and when I do, I’m eating you all! RAW!” he roared and there was a moment of still silence, before the trapdoor creaked open, and Remus’ world fell apart.

Sirius was the first to come through, then James, followed by Lily, Peter bringing up the rear. Sirius watched Remus’ mouth drop open in horror, tears filling his eyes.

“You don’t have a blood disorder, do you?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his head, dissolving into fresh sobs.

“I get that you don’t want to be my friends anymore, but please don’t tell anyone what I am,” Remus begged, looking at them with pleading eyes. “If you tell, I can’t stay, I’ll have to leave Hogwarts. Please, don’t tell.”

The four looked at each other and nodded. Lily shoved the clothes she had found at James and conjured a bowl of warm water and some clean cloths.

“What makes you think we don’t want to be your friends?” Peter asked and Remus stared at them.

“Let us clean you up, Remus, you’re an awful mess,” Sirius said and Remus flinched as he tried to touch him.

“Please, not yet. You have to wait for the wolf to calm before you can touch me, or I’ll hurt you,” Remus whispered, still in shock.

Sirius nodded and knelt beside him, grabbing the clothes from James and handing them to his friend. “Just answer me this. Did you really think we’d hate you for this?”

Remus gaped at him. “Of course. I know what wizards think of werewolves. You all think we’re disgusting dark creatures, all savage, even in human form. I have been in lessons, you know. I’ve read the books, heard the way the student population talks about werewolves. You’ve all heard too much about Greyback,” he said as he wriggled into his boxers, Lily turning away to give him some privacy.

James smiled. “Well, yeah, but we know you. You’re not like they claim werewolves to be. Is he, Evans?”

“No, you’re not. You’re sweet and kind, you’re brighter than all of us put together, you love vanilla fudge, and you always give people a fair chance,” she said, making Remus smile dazedly. “We assumed it was the infection that made werewolves savage, but now we know it’s the person, not the condition.”

Remus couldn’t believe it. They knew and they weren’t turning away. He had assumed, after hearing the way the students all talked about werewolves, that his friends would turn away if they knew. But here they were, and they weren’t turning away. They were proclaiming how nice he was, and Sirius wanted to clean him up.

“You really still want to be my friends?” he questioned as he gave Sirius a nod.

Lily came forwards and Sirius mopped down Remus’ back, trying to get a clear view of the damage. He pulled out his wand and healed the ones he got a good look at, then set to the others. James was the one to answer for them.

“Depends,” the spectacle wearing boy said.

“On what?” Remus mumbled.

“On if this is the only secret you have,” Peter finished.

“This is it. There isn’t anything else, I swear.”

“Good, because that tunnel is a pain in the arse,” James said. “We don’t fancy traipsing after you again.”

“It is good then, that Mr Lupin has no other secrets.”

They all spun around to find Dumbledore, McGonagall and Pomfrey staring at them. The adults didn’t look happy, and the children couldn’t blame them.

“Mr Prewett and Mr Prewett went to your room last night to check on you, boys, make sure you had made it back to Gryffindor Tower. They did see you looking very suspicious at the feast,” Albus began, watching the guilty looks, all except Sirius, who was wholly focussed on healing Remus. Albus held up a hand to stop Poppy Pomfrey from taking over. Hagrid had informed Albus of Sirius’ skill with a healing charm, and he rather wanted to see it himself.

“Imagine their surprise when you did not return all night,” McGonagall continued. “Alarmed, Fabian had a female Prefect check on the girls. Imagine his continued surprise when he finds Miss Evans missing also. Naturally, considering your problems with the Slytherin’s, the boys were worried for all of you, so Fabian came and woke me.”

“Can you picture how worried we were?” Dumbledore said. “Can you think what it looked like? Now you know the truth of Mr Lupin, you can understand why we were so concerned.”

“Yes, sir,” they chorused.

“And you all realise how very dangerous this could have been?” McGonagall asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you all understand that you may not tell anyone of this? None of your other friends, or your parents, not even a pet. It must stay within the five of you, you know that, do you not? If Mr Lupin were to be discovered, it would be impossible for him to remain a student of this school,” Albus questioned. “Many parents would not want their children to be associating with a supposed dark creature. As Mr Lupin pointed out, people have heard too much of Fenrir Greyback.”

“We won’t tell anyone, honest,” Peter said.

“Not a soul,” James said.

“Take it to the grave,” Sirius said distractedly as he marvelled at a bite mark covering Remus’ shoulder. He didn’t know anyone else who could bite their own shoulder.

“Who am I to tell? It’s not my secret, not me that has to live with it. I know when to keep my trap shut,” Lily said.

Albus smiled and looked at Remus. “Well, Remus? Shall I let them keep their memories?”

Remus looked at each of his friends and then at his headmaster. “If you could let them keep them, I would appreciate it. I don’t fancy them sneaking down the tunnel again, I might eat them next time. They’re a nosy bunch, you know. They’re bound to figure it out again,” he said, making all of them laugh.

As Remus was cleaned up and then checked over by Madame Pomfrey, the three adults helped him fill the four Gryffindor’s in on everything, explaining every lie, every odd occurrence, every weird personality moment. They were allowed to ask any questions they wanted and in turn they found out the whole story.

When Remus had been bitten and by who, the real reason he had been pulled out of primary school, what his uncles knew, how he handled it at home, the truth about werewolves, and everything in between. The Shack was explained, the tunnel, the Whomping Willow. The four students agreed that it was best if no one else found out about Remus, that he was too vulnerable for the Slytherin’s to get wind of his condition, and proclaimed very loudly that they would help protect him, help him hide his furry little problem, as James dubbed it.

By the time they had finished, it was well after lunch, and Remus was allowed to leave with his friends, though Dumbledore had to ensure they were not spotted.

As Remus made his way back to the school, he found he felt lighter than he had his whole time at Hogwarts, and smiled his first true smile as Lily called James an ogre.

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Remus didn’t feel his four friends sit down around him. It was a rainy April afternoon and Remus couldn’t understand the way he felt.

His eyes were fixed upon Gideon and his latest squeeze, Amelia Tolkins. The two of them were cuddled up in the window seat, apparently able to survive without oxygen, if their kissing marathon was anything to go by.

But it wasn’t their long kisses that baffled Remus. It was the fact that he couldn’t see himself kissing a girl. Ever. But he could picture himself kissing Gideon quite clearly.

“Hello, Hogwarts to Remus, anyone in there?” James called, waving a hand in front of the werewolf’s face. Remus blinked and looked around, noticing that he had company. “You okay?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” Remus said, a little too quickly.

The four of them glanced over to where Remus had been staring and Peter sniggered. “How long have they been going at it?” the blond asked.

“Fourty eight minutes,” Fabian revealed as he joined them, holding a stopwatch. “My bet is on an hour an a half, what do you say?”

“Five more minutes, no longer,” Lily said. “They have to come up for air sometime.”

“No way, two hours, minimum,” Sirius said. “I can say from experience that you can breathe and kiss at the same time.”

Ah yes, everyone knew Sirius was a heartbreaker. Male or female, older or younger, any house but Slytherin, Sirius had dated more than a few and he hadn’t even turned thirteen yet. His reputation as the stud of the school pissed Lucius off no end. Sirius had received many Howlers about it from his father, but it had just made him worse. Not a week went by when Sirius did not have a new partner, or three. That he never had any complaints was the really impressive thing.

“I’m with Sirius,” James said. “Remus, you in?”

“No, I’m not into betting,” Remus said dismissively. He tried to pull his eyes away from the redhead and his girlfriend but he couldn’t.

Fabian handed Peter the stopwatch. “Keep an eye on them, I want to know how long he makes it,” the redhead said and then fixed his attentions on Remus. “Remus, do you have a crush on Melia?”

“What? No!” the werewolf denied.

Sirius smiled. “Is it Gid you have the hots for?”

“No, I don’t have the hots for anyone,” he said. Oh dear, their eyes were narrowing. Hang on, they were his friends, they had handled the truth about him, and Sirius was bisexual, he thinks, and Fabian never poked fun at anyone. “I’m confused.”

This got James’ attention. “You? Confused? Not possible,” the Pureblood said. “Remus, you don’t get confused, it just doesn’t happen.”

Remus sniggered. “Well, it has.” He took a deep breath. “I think I’m gay,” he said quietly and waited for the peals of laughter.

No one laughed. Quite the opposite in fact. They immediately looked concerned and tried to help him figure it out.

“What makes you think that?” Fabian asked.

Fabian was gay himself. He knew just how hard it could be to figure out your sexuality. It wasn’t always as easy as just knowing. Sometimes it could be very confusing for a boy to discover he was different, that he wanted something different. Fabian remembered all too well how he had envied Gideon when he was confused about his own sexuality. Gideon was so sure of his love for the female form, the thought of snogging a guy never entered his head. Fabian, on the other hand, had spent most of his third year and half of his fourth confused and embarrassed by the communal showers.

“I just feel it. I can’t imagine kissing a girl, but I can imagine kissing a boy,” Remus said. “And I don’t feel the same for girls. I like them, just not like that.”

Sirius and Lily shared a look before giving each other a definitive nod. “Right then. We’re your friends, aren’t we, Remus?” Lily asked.

“Yes. You’re all my friends. Why?” he replied cautiously.

“Me and Evans are each going to kiss you. If you don’t feel anything kissing this lovely lady, but you feel something kissing me, then you’ll know you’re gay. If you feel something for her and not me, you’re straight. If you feel for both, you’re bi,” Sirius said and Remus burst out laughing.

“Fab, one hour, two minutes and thirteen seconds,” Peter said, handing Fabian the stopwatch.

“Damn it,” Fabian said. “Evans was the closest.”

“Too bad, Fab. Guess you lost again, huh?” said Gideon as he draped himself over his twins shoulders, Amelia moving away to join some of her friends. “Did I hear that right? Evans and Black are going to kiss Lupin?”

“Only if he wants to try it,” Lily said.

“Why are you going to kiss them?” Gideon asked Remus.

Remus went bright red but he was saved from answering.

“Remus is confused, like I was,” Fabian said and Gideon nodded. “Wish I’d had friends like this when I was trying to figure it out.”

“Yeah, mum wouldn’t have accused you of being a miserable little whatsit so often if you had,” Gideon joked.

“So, up for it?” Sirius said cheerfully to Remus. “It won’t mean anything, it’s just a… what do you call it?… a scientific experiment, two friends helping another friend out.”

“Hang on, what if he feels nothing for either of you?” Peter put in.

“Not possible,” the twins said in unison.

“We concur that Sirius and Lily are the two most good looking second years,” Gideon said.

“He has to feel something for one of them,” Fabian agreed.

Remus couldn’t take it anymore. The twins talking together made his head spin, and he was confused enough already. James had been right, Remus getting confused didn’t happen very often, and he didn’t like it. Enough was enough. He had been questioning this for weeks. If snogging his friends was the way to get answers, so be it. They had offered, after all.

“All right,” Remus said.

Sirius pulled Remus to his feet and James decided that Lily would go first. Remus found himself mildly curious, but not nervous. Lily gave him a small smile before she leaned in, putting her hands on his shoulders.

It wasn’t disgusting, kissing Lily, but it wasn’t nice either. It felt kind of odd, her lips on his, and he could taste the strawberry lip balm she used. He put his hands on her waist and closed his eyes, like Gideon had done with Amelia, but it didn’t make it any better. Her kiss was soft and gentle, but it wasn’t hesitant. It just was. She pulled back and smiled at him.

“Anything?” she questioned.

“Sorry, Lily. You’re beautiful, and I like spending time with you. But there was nothing,” he said.

“No problem. Probably for the best anyway. Can we not tell Jason about this?” she requested and they all nodded. Jason Dean, the Ravenclaw she had been dating for the last few weeks, would not be jealous. He would be intrigued and plague them all with questions. Ah, the wonders of the Ravenclaw’s.

“All right, Sirius next,” James said.

Remus found himself very nervous as Sirius moved close to him. Oh, this was new, this feeling of his insides turning to mush. Sirius’ kiss was different from Lily’s. It was more passionate, on Remus’ part anyway. Sirius took complete control, cradling the back of Remus’ head and possessing his lips with his own. Now Remus knew why Sirius never got any complaints, he kissed like a god. Sirius’ other hand was on the base of Remus’ spine, and it felt quite nice to have it there. Remus laid his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and kissed back, feeling Sirius smile into it. When Sirius pulled away, Remus had all the answers he had been looking for, and he could proudly say that he had been kissed by the Hogwarts Stud.

“Figured everything out?” Sirius questioned as he took a step back.

James sniggered at the silly smile Remus was wearing as he flopped back down into his seat. “I think he’s on Fab’s team, not Gid’s.”

“You two are very good friends,” Remus said with a smile. “I’m not confused anymore.”

“Damn, I should have called the Prophet while I had the chance,” James teased and Remus hit him with a cushion. “I’m kidding! No, it’s good you figured things out. You okay now?”

“Absolutely,” Remus said and then frowned. “Scratch that, I am not absolutely okay. How am I going to tell my muggle dad that his only son is gay?”

“I suggest having a stiff drink to hand,” Gideon offered with a grin at his brother.

Fabian laughed. “Our mum did the whole bottle of scotch for the shock when I told her about me. She was fine with it after she dealt with her hangover.”

Remus laughed along with the rest of them, but his mind was already churning with what his dad would say. He couldn’t put it in a letter, and the Easter break had gone already. He would wait until he went home for summer. Maybe it was something best done in person.

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John smirked over the carburettor he was working on. Remus had been staring at the same page for the last hour.

“What’s so funny?”

John jumped as Anne whispered in his ear. “You trying to give me a heart attack, woman?” he hissed.

“No,” she giggled, kissing his cheek. “Sorry, dear. So, what is so funny?”

“Remus. Look at him.”

“Is he still on that page?”

“Yup. Somethings bothering him. He’s been quiet since I picked him up from Kings Cross,” John said.

She sighed. “Me or you?”

“It’s my turn, you dealt with the problems of him being smaller than everyone else,” John said and she nodded, returning to her potions making. John wiped off his hands of oil and made his way over to his thirteen year old.

“Hi, dad,” Remus said as John sat down next to him. “Finished with the carburettor?”

“Not quite. Thought I’d take a break and have a chat with my son. You’ve been away for months,” John said and Remus stuck his bookmark in the novel he had been pretending to read.

“What do you want to talk about?” Remus said, curling his knees up to his chest.

“How about we talk about what’s bothering you?”

Remus paled. He had been so careful, how had his father guessed? Wait, hold on a moment, he couldn’t have guessed. So Remus still had time to sidetrack him.

“Nothing’s bothering me,” Remus said.

“Come on, I’m your dad. I know when something’s wrong with you. So what is it?”

“Nothing, there’s nothing.”

John sighed. All right, John was going to have to worm it out of him. Maybe he should have told Anne to handle this one. Maybe it wasn’t too late, Anne was listening from the stove, maybe he could call her over.

“Dad, there is something,” Remus said quietly. “But I don’t know how to tell you.”

John peered at his son. “All right. Have you been kicked out of school?”

“No, and Professor Dumbledore would have sent you a letter if that happened.”

“Good point. Have you failed one of your classes?”

“No.”

“Had a falling out with one of your friends? Did one of them have a problem with what you are?”

“No. My friends are great, they really are. They all took it really well.”

John was running out of ideas. “Is there a problem with your infection? Should we be calling Madame Pomfrey?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s not school, or my friends, or my illness.”

John ran his fingers through his hair. Damn, this was more difficult than he thought. How did Anne make this look so easy?

“Okay, Remus, here’s the thing. I’m not as good at the parent thing as your mum. So, you’re going to have to help me out here. Whatever it is, you can tell me. There is nothing I can’t handle. Wizard, werewolf, whatever, I can handle it all. So, just tell me,” John said and he watched as Remus chewed at his lower lip.

Remus couldn’t hide it. His parents had always been there for him, he wanted to tell them. But his father was a muggle, he didn’t know of a single muggle who accepted gay people.

“Dad, I…” Remus said, and then he stopped. Damn it, why couldn’t he just get the words out?

“Come on, you can tell me,” John urged.

Remus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Dad, I’m gay.”

The silence was deafening.

“Well…ummm…” John spluttered.

“Dad, I swear, I didn’t choose to be like this. And I didn’t do this on purpose, I promise. Please, don’t hate me, daddy, please,” Remus begged, his tears falling. He couldn’t stop them. His dad was his hero, and now he was going to lose him because of something he couldn’t control.

John smiled and pulled Remus into a hug. He was pleased to feel that Remus was still small enough to fit into it.

“Remus, I don’t hate you. You’re my son, I love you. Hey now, come on, my sweet little wolf, it’s all right. Come on, look at me,” John soothed, pulling Remus away. Tear filled amber eyes blinked up at him.

“You…you don’t hate me?” Remus asked.

“No, I don’t. Just answer a few things for me. Are you happy being gay?” Remus nodded. “And you know that if you have sex with a wizard you and him can get pregnant, don’t you?” Another nod. “And you can’t tell any muggles, you know that don’t you?”

“I know, dad. It’s illegal in your world, so I can’t tell any of my uncles. I can’t tell anyone, I understand that.”

John nodded. “Right then. What do you fancy for dinner?”

Remus gaped for a moment, before he found his voice once more. “You’re okay with it?”

“Remus, it’s not a choice you made, it’s just the way you are. Your mum explained it all to me when we got together. It’s okay in your world, I know that. It’s fine,” John reassured, kissing Remus on the forehead. “So, dinner? How about we go to Chris and get you some cod and chips?”

Remus couldn’t stop smiling. “Okay.”

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Sirius knocked on the door and waited. He, James, Peter and Lily had been invited to stay at Remus’ house for the whole of August, and they were all excited. The boys had never stayed in a muggle house before, and Lily had never stayed at a friends house before. They were all looking forward to the next few weeks.

Only problem was, there didn’t seem to be anyone at home.

“Are you sure we’ve got the right house?” Lily asked.

“Number fourteen,” James said, checking his letter from Remus once more. “We’ve got the right house. Really, do you think we’re thick or something?”

“Just you,” she snapped and Sirius shared a look with Peter.

“How about we try and figure this out before you start tearing chunks out of each other?” Sirius suggested as James opened his mouth to argue. The three nodded at him. “Right, so we know we’ve got the right house, and the letters say the second, right?”

“Sunday the second of August at midday,” Peter read from his own letter.

It was the right house, the right day and the right time. But there was still no answer from the house, no matter how hard they knocked.

“Wait, didn’t Remus say he spent Sunday’s in the pub with his family?” Lily said suddenly.

“He did. Peter, you stay with Lily and the trunks, me and Sirius will go and find him,” James said, pulling his friend away before the redheaded girl could protest.

They walked from one end of the street to the other, and then down the next one. They managed to find John and Joe’s Garage, which was shut up, and The Happy Scampi Fish and Chip Shop, which was closed. They were just about to give up and return to their trunks when a voice spoke.

“You lost, boys?”

They spun around to find a very tall blond man staring at them, emerging from one of the houses with a load of board games under his arm.

“We’re trying to find the pub,” James said. “We can’t remember what it’s called.”

“A little young to be drinking, aren’t you? Big Jim’ll never serve you.”

“We’re looking for our friend, Remus Lupin,” Sirius said and the man smiled.

“Ah, you’re his friends from school. John said you were coming next Sunday, on the second.”

“Today is the second,” James supplied.

“Bloomin’ man. He’d forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on. It’s not the first time he’s got mixed up and taken us down with him. I’ll take you. I’m Mike.”

“One of Remus’ uncles?” Sirius asked. “You’re the carpenter, right? The one who plays football with Remus?”

“The very same. And you are?”

“I’m Sirius and this is James.”

“Very nice to meet you, Sirius and James. Come on.”

The two boys followed him down three streets before they caught sight of the pub. It was hard not to, it was painted bright green. Even the doors and window frames were green. Sirius was just glad it wasn’t Slytherin green, that would have been too much. As they entered behind Mike, they found out why the building was green.

“You took your time,” said an Irishman behind the bar.

“Picked up more than games. Did you know that today is the second?” Mike asked.

The Irishman gave them a proper view of himself as he stepped back to check a calendar. He wasn’t too tall, but he was very wide around the middle, and his arms were as thick as Sirius’ waist. He made a mental note never to get on the mans bad side.

“Bloomin’ man, not again,” said the Irishman. “So, which ones did you find?”

Mike stepped back and the man peered at the two teens before he smiled. “At least they’re not as small as our Remus, though I’ll bet good money Chris will try and feed them up. Hello, boys. I’m Big Jim. Remus is around the other side,” Jim said, pointing to the other side of the bar.

The boys followed Mike around the bar and found Remus surrounded by people, a set of cards in his hands and a pile of matchsticks in front of him.

“John, did you perhaps make a mistake?” Mike questioned and John looked up, his eyes landing on the two boys.

“Oh, Christ. Annie’s going to kill me,” John moaned. “Remus, your friends are here. I did it again.”

Remus looked up and grinned. “You’re right, mum is going to kill you. One sec, guys,” he said before he laid out his cards and the man he was playing with groaned.

“How do you always win?” the man said exasperatedly, pushing more matchsticks towards Remus.

“Because Uncle Jim is a wonderful teacher. Look on the bright side, Uncle Joe, at least we were only playing for matchsticks. At least I didn’t fleece you this time.”

Joe nodded and John stood up, Remus joining him. Sirius and James followed the two Lupin’s back to the house where John immediately wished for the ground to swallow him up. Lily and Peter were sitting in the kitchen, having a nice cup of tea with Anne.

“John Andrew Lupin, you swore to me that they were coming next Sunday!” she seethed. “I come back from getting some milk and there they are, standing on the doorstep with four trunks and some tale of Sirius and James going to find the pub!”

“I made a mistake. I’m sorry, Annie, it’ll never happen again,” he promised and she growled.

“Damn straight it won’t. This is the last time I let you keep track of a date. Hello, boys. Come and have some tea and then we’ll get you settled in,” she said. James and Sirius accepted tea from Anne and hid their smirks in their mugs as she continued to berate John.

After she had yelled herself out, she led the teens upstairs, levitating their trunks before her. Lily was safely set up in the spare room. Anne and John’s bedroom lay between it and Remus’ room, so there was no danger of the boys pranking her in the middle of the night. The boys were set up in Remus’ room. Anne transfigured three extra single beds for them from pieces of scrap paper and bits of fluff, and John was grateful his sons room was big enough for them all, or Anne would have skinned him alive, the mood she was in.

Once they were all unpacked, Anne, John and Remus led the four teens to The Shamrock, and introduced them properly to everyone. Peter managed to get Remus’ uncles mixed up within the first five minutes.

“Hey, Remus, what’s that?” James asked, pointing to an odd looking table.

“That’s a pool table,” Remus said. “It’s a game you play.”

“My dad plays that. Fancy a game, Remus?” Lily said and Remus nodded. As he set up the balls, Jim rang the bell.

“The lovely Miss Lily had persuaded our Remus to play. Any takers?” Jim announced and Remus smiled.

“You’re going to have to explain what she’s unleashed, Uncle Jim,” Remus called.

Jim nodded. “Gather round, boys. Remus here hasn’t been beaten at pool since he was four. There is a standing bet that the first person to beat him gets £100.”

The three boys smiled and settled in to watch. Lily was terrible at the game, she sunk the eight ball on her first shot and Remus went easy on her, helping her sink all her colour before the real contenders took their turns. Thirty seven grown men got thrashed by the thirteen year old boy in under an hour, and Peter’s jaw dropped. Remus wasn’t even trying.

Remus persuaded Peter to have a go, even if he did lose, and then James had a turn, not doing much better. John didn’t even accept a game, he already knew he would lose, though all four of the uncles gave it a go. Remus cleared his colour and sunk the eight ball in under two minutes when he played Big Jim, and the others didn’t fare much better. Remus even looked a bit bored. The four teens could see why Remus had been pulled out of primary school, he was just too good at things.

Sirius was finally persuaded to play and Remus gave him a grin as he took a cue.

“Get ready to lose, Sirius,” James called and Sirius laughed. James didn’t know everything, and Sirius was about to prove it.

“Ready?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded, Chris flipping a coin to decide who would go first. As Remus bent down to break, Sirius leaned in.

“No using werewolf advantage,” he whispered and Remus nodded.

“No Pureblood tricks,” Remus bargained cheekily and Sirius nodded.

Remus broke and sunk four red balls straight off. Sirius took his turn and sunk three yellows, one after the other. The whole pub was silent, holding their breaths. No one had been able to give Remus a decent game for years, but here was this good looking boy giving as good as he got. The game dragged on, the two boys doing their damnest to block the other. It was well over an hour before they each had just one ball left, then the battle to pot the black would begin.

Sirius sunk his first and then missed the black by mere millimetres. Playing with Remus, that could be a very silly mistake. James’ jaw was hanging open and Sirius nudged Remus, pointing at him. Remus chuckled.

“You know, you’re all catching flies,” Remus announced and James’ was not the only mouth to close. Remus sunk his last red and lined up to pot the black. But it was a very bad angle, and it bounced off the edge of the hole. “Damn it,” he muttered and stepped back to let Sirius take his shot.

Sirius lined it up, judged his strength and took his shot. The ball moved in slow motion, and just when everyone was sure he had missed it again, it tumbled off the edge and into the depths of the table.

The whole bar was silent for half a second and Remus covered his ears. It was ear splitting when they all exploded, offering their congratulations and amazement. Sirius was pretty sure he was deaf, so he didn’t know how Remus’ sensitive werewolf hearing had handled it.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Remus asked as the cheering crowd thinned slightly and quieted a little.

“My father felt it was a good way to teach me strategy,” Sirius revealed, pocketing his winnings. “Got to say, you are good. I haven’t had a decent game for years.”

“Me neither. We should play again sometime.”

“Bet on it.”

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Remus rolled over and huffed. The full moon was only two days away and he was restless. He glanced at his sleeping friends and noticed that Sirius’ bed was empty. The door was open too.

Remus slipped from his bed and tiptoed from the room. There was someone downstairs, he could hear their heart beating in the living room. He crept down the creaky stairs, careful to avoid the third one from the bottom which creaked more than any other. He could smell Sirius now. Ah, the joys of werewolf senses.

He padded into the living room and found Sirius examining the remote control, waving it at the TV and trying to figure out why it wouldn’t work. He stifled his laugh and plucked it from his fingers, making him jump.

“What are you doing up?” Remus asked as he curled up into a ball on the sofa.

“Didn’t you know? I don’t sleep,” Sirius said. “I was trying to amuse myself. Your books are all on shelves above your bed, I couldn’t get to them. I forgot to ask for one before you went to sleep.”

“You don’t sleep?” Remus questioned as he turned on the TV. There was nothing on but the night screen picture, but it gave them some light.

“Nope.”

“How do you survive?”

“Twenty minutes a night. Well, I did once sleep fourty, but I had the flu,” Sirius said honestly. “Didn’t you ever wonder how I figured out what you are?” Remus nodded. “I noticed you were always sick on the full moon.”

Remus sniggered. “Very observant. Sirius, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why do you hate the Dark Arts so much? I mean, that is why you hate Severus, isn’t it? Because he has a thing for them? You seem to really hate all the Slytherin’s, and we all know that they’re drowning in Dark Arts. That’s what the problem is, isn’t it?”

Sirius gaped at him for a moment while his mind processed what Remus had asked. Sirius had never intended to tell Remus of his family, not really. What he had told Remus, he had been vague about. But Remus had told him his secret, didn’t Remus deserve his honesty as well?

“I’ll tell you if you answer one of my questions,” Sirius bargained and Remus considered it for a moment before nodding. “Will you tell me what happened when you were bitten? You and the teachers skimmed over it when you explained everything. I’m curious.”

Remus sighed and stared at the patch of carpet. The rug had been thrown out as soon as he was bitten, he hadn’t been able to stand having it in the house, no matter how many cleaning charms his mother cast upon it.

Remus stood up and walked to that patch, sitting down on it, cross-legged. “I was sitting here, like this,” he said. “I was reading a book. You can see the kitchen from here, you know. I was just sitting here, and dad was sitting where you are, in that armchair. He was reading the paper. Then this huge grey werewolf burst through the kitchen window. Mum was washing dishes, she got sent flying, and dad tried to stop it as well, but he just got thrown too. And then it came for me. I raised my arms, like I did with Honeyduke the dog. He didn’t get a good grip on me, but it was good enough.” He let out a hollow laugh. “I was so scared. I’ve never been more scared in my whole life. I was a small kid, and it was huge. I was terrified. And the more I tried to pull myself free, the more it growled,” Remus said, picking at the carpet. “Then mum blasted it and it scarpered. Dad cleaned me up as best he could, in the bathroom. He sat me on the toilet lid and sponged my arm. Then Professor Dumbledore came and explained everything.”

Sirius couldn’t keep his anger from bubbling up. It was so unfair. Remus was one of his best friends, the one who had shown him the Muggle World and never laughed at his questions. Remus suffered all that, and every single month since, all because of Voldemort.

“Dad still feels guilty, you know,” Remus revealed, reclaiming his seat on the sofa. “He thinks that if he hadn’t lost his temper at Voldemort, then I wouldn’t be like this, it wouldn’t have happened. Doesn’t matter what anyone says to him, he still feels it’s his fault.”

Sirius took a deep breath. “You asked why I hate the Dark Arts. You just answered it,” he said and Remus looked puzzled. “All the Slytherin’s, they think that Voldemort is big and clever, that hurting people is the way to go. I don’t. I hate Voldemort. Look at what he had Greyback do to you. In what way is that right?”

Remus shrugged and Sirius took a deep breath, letting it out in one long sigh. “I hate the Dark Arts because I can do them.”

“What?” Remus asked.

“I’ve been able to do the Unforgivable’s since I was small. It’s what my family wants for me. Voldemort was a regular dinner guest at my house, still is. My parents aren’t Death Eaters, but they work for him. And that’s the life they have planned for me. They want me and Regulus to become Death Eaters. You have no idea what it’s like. For my sixth birthday, my dad gave me his wand and made me cast Crucio on Kreacher. I’ll never forget how much it hurt him, how he screamed. See, Reg buys into all that Pureblood shit, and the Death Eater bollocks. That’s why I was so excited to meet you. You grew up here, and knew all about the Muggle World, and let me ask all the questions I wanted. You let me read your muggle books, and come and stay in your muggle house. I hate the Dark Arts so much because it’s all I ever heard when I was young. You’re half-blood and you’re just as good a wizard as I am. I don’t see what makes Pureblood’s so superior, and my family hate me for it,” Sirius explained.

The Pureblood sat there silently, waiting for Remus to tell him to get the hell out of his house. But it never came.

“I understand now. And I’ll stop trying to get you to be nice to Severus,” Remus said quietly.

Sirius smiled at him.

“I have another question,” Remus said with a smile and Sirius nodded cautiously. “Why is your teddy bear called Cuddles? I told you why mine is called Romulus, but I never got round to asking about yours.”

Sirius sniggered. “My mother had all my toys thrown out when I was seven. It’s common in Pureblood families, the parents decide when it’s time for their children to become adults. For me, it was age seven. My mother said I could keep one toy, so I kept Cuddles. He’s called Cuddles because…well, when I was little my mother wouldn’t hug me. She’s always looked at me like I’m something horrible. When I asked him why mother wouldn’t cuddle me, my father said that cuddles were for teddy bears. James’ dad gave me the bear for my fifth birthday, and it always felt the best to cuddle. So I called it Cuddles.”

Remus stared at his friend and silently wondered how the hell he had ended up so normal. By all rights, Sirius should be a raving loony by now, what with all the trash his family spouted. They sounded positively torturous compared to his own family. But he put all that to one side. He had something to correct first.

“Come and sit on the sofa, I want to show you something,” the werewolf said and Sirius changed seats without question.

As Sirius sat down, the two of them facing each other, Remus leaned in, wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck and hugged him. Sirius was still for a few moments before he wrapped his arms around Remus’ ribs.

“Cuddles are for everyone, not just teddy bears,” Remus murmured in his ear.

Sirius couldn’t say anything. And he couldn’t stop his tears. They were soaking Remus’ pyjama top, and Sirius knew his friend could feel it, but the boy didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he began to stroke his hair. It was wonderful, that cuddle. With all his partners, it was never tender like this. There were never just hugs. It was all about kissing and pleasure. But Sirius couldn’t think of anything else that felt better than a cuddle.

Remus pulled back and wiped away Sirius’ tears. “You can have a cuddle anytime you like, you just have to ask. Not just me, you can ask my parents for a cuddle too, and my uncles. They give them all the time,” he whispered and Sirius nodded. “Do you want a cup of tea? I’ll sit up with you.”

“You don’t have to,” Sirius argued and Remus shook his head.

“It’s too close to the moon, I’m too restless to sleep. How about a game of Scrabble?”

Sirius smiled. “Okay then, tea and Scrabble. Will you teach me how to make tea the muggle way?”

Remus grinned and nodded. As the two boys moved into the kitchen, Sirius realised that he was starting to feel something other than friendship for Remus. No matter how he tried to dismiss it, he couldn’t forget how much he had enjoyed Remus’ arms around his neck.

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Their third year at Hogwarts began with Remus finding himself a boyfriend and Sirius realising he wasn’t attracted to women at all.

Sirius’ revelation came about in week one of the year, when he was shoved into a broom closet by Jennifer Mahler of Ravenclaw, his partner at the time. She kissed him breathless and then stripped them both. It would have been brilliant, and rather kinky, if Sirius had been able to get it up, that is. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jenny, he really did, she was a great girl. But there was something about her equipment that just didn’t entice him.

She was very good about it, listening to him as he explained that he just wasn’t that way inclined, and she agreed to keep his little performance problem under wraps. It would do his reputation no good if it got out. They agreed to stay friends, and she began dating Michael Hopkins of Hufflepuff the next day. Sirius continued to hop from partner to partner, all of them male now. He even dated Fabian for a few weeks. Rumours began to fly about who he had and hadn’t shagged, and he didn’t deny any of them, so people decided he was shagging every boy in sight.

Remus was having slightly better luck with his love life. On the first day of term, the morning after the welcome feast, Malcolm Simian of Hufflepuff walked right up to the Gryffindor table and asked him out, in full view of everyone. Remus had blushed a furious shade of red and shyly nodded.

The year went well for the four friends, mostly. The first term was mostly uneventful, aside from the detentions Remus’ three friends kept landing themselves in. James and Sirius seemed to have discovered the fun of breaking rules, and Peter did whatever they told him to. Their treatment of Severus and the other Slytherin’s didn’t improve, but at Remus’ request they were never too cruel to them, no matter how much they wanted to be. Remus still had hopes that maybe one or two of the Slytherin’s could be won over to the side of the Light, instead of just falling blindly into Voldemort’s service. James and Sirius thought he was misguided but allowed him to try.

Lily and James’ relationship didn’t get any better. If anything, it got worse. Now there were full on slanging matches across the Common Room. These were fun to watch, if a little venomous. James was usually outdone by the girl, which his friends found highly hilarious.

The teens got their first chance to visit Hogsmeade, and they enjoyed it thoroughly. Sirius quickly found Zonko’s and stocked up on as many jokes as he could, most of which ended up being used on the Slytherin’s. Remus was more a fan of Honeydukes, and rather enjoyed their different variants of fudge. Peter trailed after James like a little puppy, following him up to have a look at the Shrieking Shack from the outside.

Gryffindor won their first match against Hufflepuff, which caused two things to happen. Firstly, the Slytherin’s became worse than ever, which wasn’t helped by Lucius being Head Boy. And James became more adored by the student population, which pissed Severus off no end.

Christmas was a wonderful affair. James and Peter went home and Sirius was invited by Remus’ parents to spend Christmas at the Lupin house. He thoroughly enjoyed himself, and managed a third helping of the Christmas dinner Anne cooked the muggle way. She had even taken it upon herself to teach him to cook the muggle way, and the Lupin’s all found Sirius to be an excellent cook, after he passed the phase of burning things.

In fact, everything was uneventful until March, a week before Remus’ fourteenth birthday.

Remus and Malcolm were sitting by the lake, watching the Giant Squid wave its tentacles lazily at them. The night before, they had discovered the Room of Requirement and their little exploration session had not gone to plan. True to Hufflepuff form, Malcolm wanted to discuss the problem and help Remus figure it out.

“It’s not that I’m upset or anything, just curious,” Malcolm said. “I mean, I thought we were going really well. I just want to understand. Is it that you’re not ready?”

Remus sighed. He liked Malcolm, and he wasn’t a bad kisser. There was just something that didn’t feel quite right.

“I don’t know what it is, Mal, but I don’t want to do it with you. I don’t want to do it, period,” Remus said.

“Am I not the one you want your first time to be with?”

Remus smiled. That was one of the wonderful things about Malcolm, he never got offended. Oh, James and Sirius had both tried, but Malcolm had just laughed it off.

“Sorry, Mal, but no, I don’t want it to be with you,” Remus said honestly and Malcolm nodded. “It’s nothing personal, it’s just…”

Malcolm waited patiently, and neither of them noticed that they were being watched and listened to. Remus really should have been able to hear the eavesdropper, but he was too focussed on the moment, on trying not to say the wrong thing.

“Here’s the thing, right. I want my first time to be with the right one. I like you, Malcolm, I really do, it’s just-”

Malcolm laughed, interrupting him. “I’m not the right one, Remus, I know that,” Malcolm said. “You don’t have to say it. I mean, come on, Malcolm and Remus together forever. Yeah right! Me and you were never destined to be some great love story. Me and you, we’re just fooling around. I understand, really.”

Remus grinned. “You’re a really great friend, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know. And I think it wise if that’s all I am from now on. I’m not what you’re looking for, and not to be mean or anything, but you’re not for me,” Malcolm said and Remus nodded. “Hey, it was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Very fun.”

As break ups went, it was the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It was probably the tamest break up Hogwarts had ever seen. That was, until the two boys heard a voice.

“Well, well, well, look at this. Friend of the Hogwarts Stud, a frigid little boy.”

They spun around to find a whole group of Slytherin’s watching them. The two standing right in front were Severus and Lucius, and they were both sneering at Remus.

“What do you want?” Malcolm said as he and Remus got to their feet.

“Just wondering why Remus can’t pick up some tips from Sirius the shameless,” Lucius said. “ All that stuff about ‘the right one’. Please, spare me. Severus, don’t you agree?”

“Yes, I do. It amazes me that Remus is such a child. Obviously, he should find better friends.”

“Absolutely,” Lucius said. “Severus has told me how accommodating you can be. How about it, Remus? Want to join our group, be a real man?”

Remus couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t. It was too close to the moon for him to keep his tongue under control. It was made all the worse by Severus joining in. Severus was meant to be his friend, why was he doing this?

“And what makes you real men, the fact that you play with your bollocks, or that you’re the biggest slut in the school, Malfoy?” Remus spat.

To the shock of everyone it was Severus that answered him, and his answer was absolutely the wrong thing to say to a confused werewolf two days away from a full moon.

James, Sirius and Peter emerged from their detentions to hear the cry of “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

They bumped into the twins and found out that the fight was down by the lake. The three younger boys raced across the grass. They were in no way prepared for what they found.

Remus pinning Severus to the ground by his throat.

Severus looked like a truck had hit him. He was bruised and bloody, and he was turning blue from lack of oxygen. It took James, Sirius, Peter, Fabian, Gideon and Malcolm to pry Remus off him, and when they finally did, they found several professors watching the scene, one of them being Dumbledore.

Remus didn’t wait for anyone to say anything. He broke free of his friends and raced across the grounds, out of sight. Professor McGonagall believed Fabian’s hurried explanations of what had happened, how they had not been involved, and the boys were given permission to go and find Remus. The Slytherin’s and Malcolm went with Professor Slughorn to clear up what had caused Remus’ outburst.

It was Sirius that found him, hiding in the branches of a huge oak tree, sobbing for all he was worth.

“Remus, come down from there. I’m useless at climbing trees,” Sirius called gently and Remus shook his head. Sirius sighed and began to climb. It took him a very long time, long enough for James and Peter to find them. The other two climbed up as well. Actually, Peter needed to be levitated up.

As soon as Sirius settled himself on the branch behind Remus, the smaller boy spun around and buried his face in Sirius’ shirt. Sirius held him while he cried, waiting for the sobs to slow a little before he tried to find out what had happened.

In all their time at Hogwarts, Remus had never argued with the Slytherin’s. He had never said a harsh word to anyone. For him to have attacked Severus, a boy who was supposedly his friend, Severus must have said something really bad.

“What happened?” James asked as Remus accepted a tissue from Peter to mop up his tears.

Remus took a deep breath and picked at the tree bark. “Swear to God you won’t laugh?”

“Remus, when have we ever laughed at you?” James said. “Just tell us what that little bastard did.”

Remus snuggled against Sirius once more. Sirius was really rather good at cuddles, considering he had never really had them as a child. The taller boy didn’t seem to mind, he was hugging him back.

“I was sitting with Malcolm. We were talking. Me and him, we kind of broke up. It was a nice break up, really, we’re still friends. Me and him, it’s just not right. It’s fun, but we’re not the right ones for each other.”

“The right ones?” Peter asked.

Remus nodded. “Well…me and Malcolm were fooling around yesterday and he wanted to go further. I said no. That’s what we were talking about, he wanted to know why,” Remus explained. “So, I told him, I’m waiting for the right one. I know it sounds stupid-”

“It doesn’t sound stupid. It sounds romantic,” Sirius argued. “Go on. Was Malcolm upset he wasn’t the right one?”

“No, he was great about it. He’s a really nice guy, and we decided to be just friends. But then Lucius and Severus and all the rest turned up. They’d been listening. They said all these things about me, about how I should have picked up some tips from you, and how I was a frigid little boy. Lucius wanted me to join his group of friends.” He sighed. “I know I shouldn’t have said it, but it is only two days until the moon, I couldn’t help it.”

“What did you say to him?” James pressed.

“I asked Lucius what made him a man, that he played with his bollocks or that he was a slut,” Remus whispered. “And then Severus stuck his big nose into it.” He punched a thick branch and it cracked where his fist impacted. “I can’t believe he did that. And all the things he said. I thought he was my friend.”

“Forget him, he’s not worth it,” Sirius said, stroking the thin back.

“But it’s all his fault!”

“Okay, I’m lost,” Peter said.

“Let me clarify it for you,” Remus said savagely. “Severus saw me and Malcolm. Severus earwigged on us. Severus went and got all the other snakes. Severus joined in and called me a frigid little mudblood. Still lost?”

The three of them gaped at him. It was probably the worst word to call Remus, especially so close to the moon. Sirius held the boy closer at the thought of what could have happened if Remus had squeezed a little tighter. The boy could have easily killed him, they knew that.

“Guys?” Remus mumbled into Sirius’ chest.

“Yeah?” Sirius replied.

“You know all those pranks you want to pull on the Slytherin’s, the ones I always told you not to do?”

“Yeah.”

“Forget I said anything. Go right ahead, do whatever you like to them. I don’t care anymore. They can’t be saved, none of them. And Snivellus can go to hell for all I care.”

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Remus’ parents were called to the school, and Severus’ mother. The two boys were made to recount the whole thing for their parents, and Severus mother looked supremely ticked off. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off to the Dungeons, where Professor Slughorn leant her his office in which to deal with her son.

Remus found himself alone in Dumbledore’s office while his parents talked to Dumbledore and McGonagall in McGonagall’s office. Sirius, James and Peter were also talking to his parents, giving their views on it.

Remus had the idea he was in very big trouble. Attacking Severus had been a really stupid thing to do, but it had hardly been his fault. It was the wolf, it was always the wolf. It made him do things he didn’t want to, things he would never do if it wasn’t for the wolf. Remus suddenly became very frightened of the impending full moon. He didn’t want it to come, didn’t want to change. He was tired of it all. Tired of the pain of the changes, of the humiliation of having Pomfrey clean him up every morning, of the lies he had to tell.

Remus was so lost in his own little depressed funk that he didn’t hear the others return.

“Remus?” John called, shaking his sons thin shoulder. Remus jerked and looked up at them with tear filled amber eyes.

“Mr Lupin,” Dumbledore called, catching Remus’ attention. “Your friends have explained to me what prompted your actions. You will receive a detention with Professor McGonagall, but that is all. I shall not be expelling you.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Remus whispered.

“As for Mr Snape, he has been suspended for a week for humiliating a fellow student.”

Remus didn’t hear anything else. The sun had set and he could see the moon out of Dumbledore’s window. Two nights from now, he would become a horrible monster, and it was all Voldemort’s fault. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t a bad person, he didn’t do anything to deserve this. For the first time since he was infected, Remus hated himself.

Sirius looked up to see Remus crying. The boy stood up and walked to the window, crying for all he was worth once again.

“Remus? Darling, what’s wrong?” Anne asked, slowly approaching her son. “You didn’t hurt him, darling. Severus is all right, Madame Pomfrey patched him up.”

“I don’t care,” Remus sobbed. “I don’t care about any of it. I hate this! Make it stop, just take it away! I don’t want to be like this anymore!”

Anne reached out to try and hug her son, to try and soothe him, but Remus just walked away from her. He didn’t want his mother to try and make this seem all better like she did every other time. He didn’t want his father to put a nice spin on it.

This could not be made better, there was no nice spin for this.

“Remus, we understand that this is difficult for you,” John said and Remus glared at him accusingly.

“No, you don’t! You have no idea what this is like!” the boy screamed. “How could you know? You don’t have to go through it! You don’t have your bones snap, you don’t rip yourself to shreds! You don’t have to fear every full moon!” Remus sank to the floor, hugging his knees and burying his face in them.

Sirius watched his friend fall apart and found it heartbreaking to watch. He had met Greyback, and he hated him more than Voldemort. It was his fault, he had done this to his friend. That feeling he couldn’t name was rising to the surface again, the feeling of something more than just friendship.

Sirius stood up and walked slowly across the room, sinking down until he was eye to eye with Remus. Slowly, he reached out his hand and brushed Remus’ hair away from his face. Remus took a swing at him, but he was fast enough to jerk back. Just.

“Remus, look at me,” Sirius said firmly. Remus shook his head and Sirius smiled. “You’re right, you know. How are you always right?”

Remus sniffed and wiped at his face with the back of his hands, shrugging.

“None of us can understand what it’s like for you, and I’m not going to be stupid and try and imagine it. I can’t get it, I can’t understand, I know that. But I understand that you feel bad. I get that one. Don’t you remember me telling you about why I feel bad?”

“I remember,” Remus mumbled. “Your family, what they believe, the way they treat you.”

“Exactly. And you asked me about Cuddles, how he got his name. Do you remember what you did when I told you?”

“I gave you a cuddle and told you they were for everyone, all you had to do was ask.”

Sirius smiled. “Exactly. And do you know what else I learnt that night, what I figured out without you telling me?” Remus shook his head. “I learnt that it’s okay to fall apart. It doesn’t make me weak or anything. It’s okay to scream and shout. So, now I teach you. It’s okay for you to fall apart.”

Remus looked up into the kind blue eyes and considered everything Sirius had said.

“I hate this,” Remus whispered. “I hate being like this.”

“I know you do. And I wish I could make it go away. But we still like you, monthlies and all.”

Remus actually managed a gasp of laugher at that one, before his tears took over once more. He didn’t need to say anything. Sirius sat down next to him to him, leant against the wall and pulled Remus into his arms. He held him as he fell apart, as McGonagall let the other two boys go to Gryffindor Tower. Anne and John took their seats once more and tried not to cry with their son.

Albus simply sat there and watched the two teens. He had been sceptical about the friendship between the two, but he was glad to have been proven wrong. He had assumed it would not last, what with Sirius’ upbringing. It didn’t seem to be an issue. If anything, it seemed to have brought them closer. If he wasn’t mistaken, those two would be friends for many years to come.

He hoped he was right.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Easter break that year brought a few surprises for Sirius.

“Hey guys, wanna meets some very special boys?” Fabian said as he entered the common room.

Sirius, Remus, James and Peter were sitting around talking about the new broomsticks on the market, comparing the strengths and weaknesses of each. James needed a new one, his had just been destroyed by the Whomping Willow after he fell off it and it drifted into the tree.

“Sounds like you’re trying to set Remus or Sirius up,” James joked, making Sirius shove him.

“Shut up, Potter. Neither of us need help getting a date, unlike you,” Sirius replied.

“Who are you talking about, Fab?” Remus asked, ending the bickering before it really took off.

Fabian disappeared out of the portrait hole and returned a moment later with Gideon and two small redhead boys.

“This is Charlie, who will be four in August,” Fabian said, setting the larger of the children down and taking his hand.

“And this is William, who we all call Bill. He’ll be two in October,” Gideon said, tickling the little boy, who had the most infectious giggle.

“Molly brought them for a visit and we thought Sirius would like to meet his new nice family members. Would you believe she’s expecting their third?” Fabian said, leading Charlie over to a widely grinning Sirius. “Charlie, say hello.”

“Hello,” Charlie replied obediently, waving one pudgy hand at them all. He was a little barrel, one of those kids that could be dropped and would bounce. Sirius held out his hands and Charlie immediately toddled to him, allowing himself to be picked up.

“Hello, Charlie. I’m Sirius.”

“Si’ius,” Charlie repeated as Bill was handed over to James, the baby making a grab for his glasses. “Who are they?” Charlie asked, pointing at the three other boys.

“This is James, and that’s Peter. And this one here, his name is Remus,” Sirius said, pointing them all out.

“James, Peter, Re’us,” he repeated, pointing one tiny finger at each of them.

“Clever boy. Hey, Charlie, you want to go for a walk outside?” Remus suggested and the child nodded. “It that okay, guys? It’s a nice day, I’m sure the boys will enjoy it.”

“Fine. Molly said she doesn’t care what we do with them, just as long as they come back in one piece,” Gideon said. “She looks absolutely knackered.”

“Hang on, we have to wait,” Fabian said. “We’ll go in a minute.”

“Why?” James questioned, fending off the tiny grabbing hands without success. “Help, someone.”

Remus reached over and plucked Bill from his arms, freeing the glasses from the tiny fist and handing them back to James. He sat Bill on his knee and began to bounce him, the little redhead squealing in delight.

“How did you do that?” Gideon asked. “Molly says he never stops moving now he can walk. He won’t sit still, how did you do that?”

Remus shrugged. “I don’t know, he must just like me. So, what are we waiting for?”

“Child number three,” Fabian said as there was a knock at the portrait. He stood up and opened it for a woman and a little girl with bright pink pigtails and orange eyes. “Sirius, you remember Andromeda, don’t you?”

“Andie!” Sirius cried, carrying Charlie with him as he moved forwards to hug the woman.

“Hello!” she laughed. “Look at you, you’ve shot up like a weed. Any taller and Canis will put a bag of cement on your head.”

“What’s cement?” Sirius asked.

“Muggle thing, they build things with it. Walls, pavement. You know those paving slabs my street is covered with? Those are made of cement,” Remus supplied and Andromeda looked impressed.

She was tall and slim, willowy almost, like Sirius. She had the same blue eyes as him too, but dark brown hair instead of his blue-black.

“Well done. Muggleborn?” she said.

“My mum’s a Muggleborn witch, my dad’s full muggle,” Remus said at James’ nod.

“My, my, Siri, Canis and Belladonna must be so impressed,” she teased. “Albus sent me a letter saying Molly would be bringing her boys to meet you and I thought you’d like to meet my little girl. Sirius, this is Nymphadora.”

James laughed as Sirius tickled the tiny girl under the chin. “Poor kid with that name,” James said.

“Just because you have one of the most boring names on the planet, Potter,” she replied and Remus was highly impressed by her easy snubbing.

“How old is Nymphadora?” the werewolf asked.

“She’ll be two in December. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name, or the little blond one,” Andromeda said, handing the little girl to Sirius as Charlie toddled over to Remus.

“I’m Remus Lupin and this is Peter Pettigrew,” he said as he plonked Charlie on his other knee, bouncing both boys.

“Better not let Molly see you handle both of them, she’ll want to take you home,” Gideon joked.

Andromeda sat down and Sirius fussed over the tiny girl, quite content to tickle her senseless, until her hair turned black.

“Whoa. Okay, I’ve never gotten that reaction before,” Sirius said.

“Oh! Did I not mention that?” Andromeda said.

“No,” James said. “It must have slipped your mind. Must come with old age.”

“Watch it, Potter. You’re not too old for me to turn over my knee,” she said with a smile. “Nymphadora’s a metamorphmagus, she can change her appearance at will. She’s copying Sirius. Look, her eyes have gone blue again. She’s copying Sirius to say she likes him.”

Sirius was highly impressed. The little girl was absolutely adorable, as were the two boys. It was times like this he was thankful for the nice side of his family. Andromeda had been the first, and only, person to send him a letter congratulating him on getting into Gryffindor. He’d always liked Molly, the woman was a wonderful cook. She had forever brought cookies and cakes with her when she accompanied Fabian and Gideon to the Potter’s. He had feared he wouldn’t get to meet Charlie, Bill or Nymphadora. It was a nice surprise to suddenly have them turn up.

“So, how are you getting on? Belladonna sending you plenty of letters on what a disgrace you are?” Andromeda asked Sirius and they all grinned.

“Actually, it’s his father who sends them,” Peter said.

“Ah. What about Belladonna?”

Sirius busied himself by retying one of Nymphadora’s pigtails. “Doesn’t matter,” he said.

Andromeda sighed and moved to him, ruffling his hair fondly. “Don’t let the snakes get you down,” she said. “Look on the bright side, one day they might disown you. Happiest day of my life, the day my mother threw me out.”

“You were at least a Slytherin,” Sirius argued.

“Yeah, only because I’m too sneaky to be anything else. You, you’ve got a heart of gold.” She laughed. “I dated Ted for three years before anyone found out.”

“My dating habits get reported home by Regulus.”

“Ah, I did hear something about that. The Hogwarts Stud? Quite a title for a third year.”

“Had it since my first.”

“Okay, now I am very impressed. Your first year, really?” He nodded. “I bet Canis was so pleased.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but I think these boys are getting restless. Shall we go outside where they can run around without breaking anything?” Remus said, trying to keep hold of a squirming Charlie.

They gathered the children up and moved to the portrait hole, Andromeda talking to Sirius as he carried Nymphadora through. Fabian took hold of Bill and Remus took Charlie’s little hand.

“You called her, didn’t you?” Remus asked. “You and Gideon. It wasn’t Professor Dumbledore who called Andromeda, it was you.”

Fabian grinned. “Yes. I think the last few Canis letters have gotten to him. We thought he could do with a little moral support. Andie was always Sirius’ favourite when we were younger.”

Remus smiled and led Charlie outside, going slow so the little legs could keep up with him. As soon as Charlie saw the grass, Remus let him go, watching him tear off with astonishing speed. All too soon, he came flying at them, throwing himself at Remus who scooped him up and tickled him as they walked.

“He keeps going like that and you’ll end up covered in bruises,” James called, he and Fabian swinging Bill between them.

“Bruises?” Andromeda questioned. “I didn’t think Charlie was being that rough.”

Remus smiled and handed Charlie to Gideon, pulling up his shirt to show her the bruises on his side from Charlie’s knees. She gaped and then took a good look at him, making his heart stop.

Once they reached the Quidditch pitch, where the wandering children could get into no trouble, Andromeda pulled Remus aside, Sirius lingering close while James and Peter distracted the twins.

“You’re a werewolf, aren’t you?” she said bluntly, making Remus shake his head frantically.

Oh God, showing her the bruises had been very stupid. He should have known better. What was every adult always telling him? Don’t show someone magical your symptoms, they’ll figure it out. How often had his mother told him that? Merlin, if she said anything, he’d have to leave Hogwarts, he’d loose everything.

“Hush, it’s all right, I won’t say anything,” she soothed at his terrified look, pulling him in for a hug. “I was just checking.”

Sirius could see how terrified his friend was and just had to reassure him. He didn’t like seeing Remus like that, and it shouldn’t have to be that way. Remus should not have a heart attack every time someone guessed what he was. There it was again, that strange feeling in his chest. It only happened with Remus and he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He knew it included an explicable urge to protect the smaller boy, but apart from that, he couldn’t explain it.

“No one can know, Andie. If people find out, Remus will have to leave Hogwarts,” Sirius said to her and she nodded, miming locking her lips. He turned to Remus. “Don’t worry, Andie’s a good stick. She won’t say anything, I swear. You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, or you wouldn’t know,” Remus said.

“Then trust me when I say you can trust her. Andie will keep your secret, I promise.”

Remus peered at the witch for a moment before he nodded.

“So, who does know?” she asked as they sat down, Nymphadora toddling off to join the others.

“My parents, the staff here, Sirius, James, Peter and Lily Evans, a girl in our year,” Remus reeled off.

“That’s it? No healers?”

“Only Madame Pomfrey.”

“Have you ever met a man called Jack Jones?” she asked and Remus shook his head. “Well, he’s a friend of my father-in-law. His son Sam is a werewolf. He used to go here, until he was bitten by Greyback.”

“He’s the one who bit Remus,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. Did Voldemort want you for something?” she questioned.

“My dad said Voldemort wanted to take me away, have me raised by wizards. My dad got angry at him, said things, and then a few days later Greyback burst through our kitchen window and bit me.”

“Sadistic prick,” she snarled. “Sorry, sorry. I just hate that bastard. He’s not a man, no where near.”

“Voldemort or Greyback?” Sirius said with a smile.

“Both.” She paused. “What about Fabian and Gideon, do they know what Remus is?”

“No, they think he has a blood disorder. Everyone thinks that.”

“Maybe you should tell them. They can keep a secret, trust me. And they’re very handy to have on side,” she said but the boys shook their heads.

“We can’t, we promised Dumbledore,” Sirius said. “The four of us only found out because we found Remus as he was changing back one morning.”

“Yeah, because you’re nosy sods, the lot of you,” Remus joked. “If Sirius and the others told someone, Dumbledore would just obliviate who they told. Once I leave Hogwarts, I can tell whoever I like, if I want to. But while I’m here, I can’t.”

Andromeda peered at the small boy and felt her respect for him rise. This boy was barely fourteen, it was a lot to handle. Sam Jones was twenty two and still had problems with it.

“Where was I? Oh yeah, Sam Jones. Well, Sam was home schooled, his father’s a Healer. He’s a really nice man, both of them are, wonderful with Nymphadora. They come for dinner every now and then. If you’re ever looking for a good one, his father Jack is nice. And I’m sure Sam will be an excellent Healer when he’s trained.”

“He’s training to be a Healer?” said Sirius.

“Yes, and I’ll bet he’ll be a damn good one too. Let me think…he’ll be twenty three in September…been training since he was seventeen…so he’ll qualify in about…six years, give or take. That will make you…twenty, I think.”

“Maths never was her strong point,” Sirius said to Remus in a stage whisper, earning a slap around the head.

“Oi! I’ll have you know, my maths is fine. You try doing maths when you have a one year old child keeping you up at night!”

“Hey, we need to take Bill and Charlie back to Molly. Bill’s having a nappy situation and Charlie wants his mother. We’ll be back in a bit, with or without the boys,” Fabian called over and Andromeda waved them away.

He and Gideon scooped up the two redheads and walked off with them, leaving Peter and James entertaining Nymphadora.

“They’re really good with her,” Andromeda commented. “I’d consider giving her to them permanently if Ted weren’t so attached to her.”

“How is Ted?” Sirius asked as Nymphadora began to use James as a climbing frame.

“He’s doing really well, just got a new job in the Ministry,” she said and Sirius snorted. “I know, I know, too many members of the family in that place to make me really happy, but I doubt many members of the family work in the Muggle Relations office.”

“Doubtful,” Sirius agreed.

“So, how are you getting on, honestly?”

Sirius sighed and laid back, cushioning his head on his arms. “There it is, the offer to listen to me offloading. Knew it was coming. What do you want first, home or here?”

“Your choice.”

Sirius looked over at Remus, hesitating, before he remembered Remus knew all about his family, he could say anything he liked. Andromeda was the only one who could understand how he felt. The family had disowned her as soon as she said yes to Ted Tonks’ proposal of marriage. They had had a major problem with her dating him, but they had assumed she was just being rebellious, having a little fun until she was married off to their choice in husbands for her. Their choice happened to be Antonin Dolohov, a known Death Eater. Sirius had actually cheered when he found out Andromeda had married Ted. Subsequently, he had spent a week in bed from the beating his mother had given him, but he had considered it worth it.

“Home’s the same as usual,” Sirius said. “Mother acts like I’m something she’s stepped in, same as always. Reg’s the perfect son, I’m the mistake.”

“You’re not a mistake,” she countered.

“To her, I am. I was unplanned, she never wanted me. What, you thought I didn’t know? Oh, yeah, she threw that one out in the last blazing row we had. She never meant to have me, she didn’t want me, and only her father’s interference made her keep me. I’m a mistake, a disgrace, a disappointment, and anything else you can think of to describe a miserable pathetic failure of a son,” Sirius reeled off. “Father never changes the tune, still sends me Howlers and gets Reg to try and talk me round to the ‘proper way of thinking’. He was so mad when I got into Gryffindor. Along with everything else I do. My friends, my reputation, my house, my hair, my dating habits, to name just a few. He couldn’t pick holes in my schoolwork until I chose to do Muggle Studies, and now he won’t drop it. He’s still Voldemort’s lackey, still wants me to be a Death Eater. Fucking prick. He thinks that if he keeps on long enough I’ll suddenly let that psycho brand me. As if. Let’s just face it, I’m never going to be the son he wants, I’ll always be the mistake and Reg will be the wonder boy. Fuck, you’d think the sun shines out of that little bastard’s arse the way mother and father talk about him, treat him. You know, if I died or something, they wouldn’t even notice. Mother told me that one herself.”

Andromeda was at a loss over what to say, but she was shocked when Remus did know.

“Fuck your family. We still like you, mistake and all,” Remus said and Sirius dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“I can always count on Remus here to cheer me up. Me and him, issues galore.”

“I see that,” she said, grinning. “You know, when Gid told me you and Remus were the best of friends, I didn’t actually believe him.”

“Why, because he’s half?” Sirius said dismissively.

“Well, yes. No offence, Remus.”

“None taken. I’ve met your sisters, I get it,” Remus said. “You are Bella and Cissa’s sister, right? I have got the family tree correct, haven’t I?”

She laughed. “Yes, you have.”

Remus sighed in relief. “Good, because I had to get Sirius to draw me a diagram.”

“Good to see you remembered it. Yes, they are my sisters, unfortunately. Lucky for me, they refuse to acknowledge my existence. I dread to think what they say about me.”

“Roughly the same as they say about Sirius,” Remus said and Sirius sniggered.

“Go on, Brains, reel it off,” Sirius said.

Remus looked thoughtful and Sirius leaned up to whisper in Andromeda’s ear, “It’s incredible, he remembers everything.”

“I heard that, and you’ve been allowed to watch way too much Thunderbirds at my house,” Remus said with a smile. “All right. ‘My, my, Sirius, what will Uncle Canis say? You really should start hanging around with a better class of human, let alone wizard. Too much time with mudbloods and you’ll end up like that waste of flesh Andromeda. Marrying a mudblood, I’m surprised she hasn’t caught something. Mind, it’s only a matter of time. Too much inbreeding, that’s the problem with these mudbloods. She’ll probably produce deformed children. Oh, wait, of course she will, little mudblood bastards polluting the world.’ How was that?”

Remus had even put on a prim girly voice and wagged his finger at Sirius.

“Brilliant,” Sirius gasped in between howls of laughter. “Told you, Andie. Remus is a sponge, never forgets a thing.”

Andromeda was clutching her sides, tears streaming down her face. “That was incredible, I wish I had that on tape, Ted would piss himself. Let me guess. Bella?”

“Yup. At least she’s stopped trying to hit me,” Remus said, not realising what he had said until it was too late.

Andromeda stopped laughing. “She hit you? When the fuck did that happen?” she said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. “Want one?”

Sirius accepted but Remus declined, grimacing. “I tried one of Sirius’ the other day, I was as sick as a dog. Or a wolf, depending on your point of view.”

“Sorry, I keep forgetting what you are,” she said, lighting up and then holding out her lighter to Sirius. “Ted keeps trying to get me to quit, says I’m setting a bad example for Nymphadora. But, getting back to the topic. Bella hit you?”

Remus squirmed.

“On the train, first year. First time she met him, he asked her what made her superior as a Pureblood. She thought he was being cheeky and slapped him around the face,” Sirius supplied and she laughed.

“And she lived? Remus’ wolf didn’t flare and rip her to shreds?” Remus gaped at her and she ruffled his hair. “Sam tells me everything. I know how werewolves work.”

Remus decided he quite liked Andromeda. He had expected Bellatrix and Narcissa’s sister to be just like them, even if she had married a Muggleborn. He was glad he was wrong.

“So, Mr Sirius. What about here? How is that going?” she enquired and Sirius sucked at his cigarette for a few minutes before he answered.

“Can you kill Lucius and his little arse kissers for me?”

“Unfortunately, no. The slut getting to you?”

“He never stops. It’s ‘cause I’m the stud and he’s not. He’s wanted that title ever since he got here, and it only took me a few weeks to get it,” Sirius said dismissively. “Oh, and that little bitch Narcissa always whispering in his ear. You know Reg’s in his gang, right? Oh yeah, right little suck up. Keeps going on about how wonderful Lucius is and Lucius thinks and Lucius did this and Lucius did that. If I wouldn’t be arrested for it, I’d kill him and bury him down by the lake.”

“What about your classes? How are you getting on in those?”

“Straight Outstanding’s across the board.”

“Very nice,” she said. “I am very proud of you, do you know that?”

“No,” Sirius said, stubbing out his cigarette and pulling out his own pack to light another. It was what Sirius did when he was upset, he chain-smoked. “No one in the family is proud of me.”

She pulled him into a hug. He stiffened at first and then relaxed. Andromeda had never hugged him before, no one in the family had. No one had hugged him before at all, no one but Remus. “I am proud of you. It takes a lot of hard work to get marks like yours. It’s not just the marks. I’m proud of you for everything. It takes a lot of guts to stand up to the family, or at least that’s what Ted keeps telling me. But you know, every time I feel like begging forgiveness, grovelling to them, I just look at Nymphadora.” Sirius looked over at the tiny girl using Peter as a shield from James’ tickling. “Even if they somehow took me back, they would never take her. Or Ted. I worked too hard to get my family, my real family. And one day you will have something you’re not willing to give up. Until then, you still have me. And you have the twins. And, never forgetting, you have wonderful friends who still like you-”

“Mistake and all,” Remus put in, making them laugh.

“You know, I think I already have something I’m not willing to give up,” Sirius said.

Sirius finally knew what the feeling was, the one he always got around Remus but could never figure out before.

He liked Remus, really liked him. Sirius could suddenly picture, with startling clarity might he add, kissing Remus, touching him, being with him forever.

Oh Merlin. Sirius was in big trouble.

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Sirius spent most of his fourth year wishing he had the nerve to tell Remus how he felt and watching Remus covertly. Subsequently, he spent most of his fourth year in detention for not paying attention in class. He spent his Christmas and Easter breaks at Remus’ house, which didn’t help matters. In fact, it made them worse, but he couldn’t say no, the word just wouldn’t come when Remus asked him if he wanted to stay.

Sirius boarded the train for his fifth year without Remus. The teenage werewolf had been forced to miss the train because of day three of that months change. He would be arriving the next day by floo from the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius spent most of the journey staring out of the window. He didn’t even retaliate when the Slytherin’s came into their compartment to try and make trouble. At least Lucius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan had left, thank Merlin. Severus and Regulus just didn’t have the same bite without the elder members of their gang. James and Peter gave him the space he obviously wanted, and dutifully waved him off when he said he was going to the bathroom.

“What is wrong with you?”

Sirius spun around to find Regulus leaning against the wall, staring at him.

“What do you want, Reg? Because all I want is to go to the bathroom and take a piss in peace,” Sirius said tiredly.

“Mother and father are worried about you,” the younger Black heir said. “They asked me to talk to you.”

Sirius snorted. “Mother wouldn’t worry about me if I took a nosedive off a bridge. Father is the one who’s worried, let’s just be honest shall we?”

Regulus smiled. “Fine, mother doesn’t give a damn, but father does. He noticed how quiet you were this summer, when you weren’t at Potter’s that is. And just now, when we came in, you didn’t even bat an eyelid. So, now I’m worried. I thought you lived for arguing with us snakes. What is wrong with you?”

Sirius sighed. “Trust me, Reg, when I say you really don’t want to know.”

Regulus showing an interest in his life made Sirius nervous. The two brothers had never had anything in common, aside from DNA. They had never, not once, had a conversation that didn’t end in bloodshed. Sirius just wanted to exit the conversation as soon as possible, before the two of them started throwing fists and hexes left, right and centre.

Regulus must have sensed how uncomfortable he was making his brother. “Listen, I know we’ve never gotten on-”

“Understatement,” Sirius interrupted, making Regulus smile.

“Good point. I just wanted to tell you that if you ever need to talk, or anything, I’m here.”

Sirius’ jaw dropped. “Hang on,” he said as Regulus started to walk away. “What the fuck is going on here? Why are you being nice to me? Usually you’re a little shit.”

Regulus shrugged. “We’re brothers, right? Aren’t we supposed to help each other out?”

“In your case, doesn’t that involve cyanide?”

Regulus laughed. “Most of the time. But, what with your marking coming up in a summer or two, I thought maybe you could use a shoulder to lean on. Just think, this time next year, you’ll be an old married man. The school will need a new Stud, and I was thinking…”

“You were thinking I’d help you steal my title.”

Ah, so that was the game. Sirius was due to marry Morganna Evernight just after his sixteenth birthday, and he was less than enthusiastic about it. Quite frankly, he would rather slit his wrists. Sirius was also due to be ‘marked’ by Voldemort either next summer or the summer after, become a fully fledged member of the Death Eaters. Once again, he was desperately trying to find a way to avoid it. If only there were some way to get away from his family without his father killing him for it.

“Well, I am your brother.”

“Well, I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than help you get my title. Now, why don’t you slither away back to your pit where you belong and stop pissing me off?” Sirius snarled, his patience completely gone.

Regulus held up his hands in a move of submission. “Fine, fine, I’m going. Just remember, no one is going to shag a married man.”

That was what Sirius needed to snap him out of the Remus haze he had been stuck in: Regulus being a prick, reminding him of the life his family had planned for him.

“Hey!”

Regulus turned around to find himself pinned to the wall, Sirius looming over him with a hand around his throat.

“You listen to me, you little bastard. I have no intention of either marrying that inbred bitch or being marked by that psycho arsehole. So, let’s get it straight. I am the Hogwarts Stud and I will not be giving that title up because of that little whore I’m betrothed to. I don’t need your shoulder to lean on, and if you offer me anything as a way to get my title again, I will rip that shoulder off and shove it so far up your arse you’ll be chewing on it. Got it?” Sirius snarled and Regulus hurriedly nodded. “Good. Now fuck off.”

He shoved Regulus away and watched with satisfaction as the smaller boy stumbled a bit before running back to his compartment and slamming the door.

Oh yes, Sirius had just needed to get his head straight.

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Remus woke up to find Lily sitting over him.

They were currently in the beginning of October, day three of the change. He really hated this October. Not only did he start off the month with a change, he would end the month with one too. Something about the lunar cycle going funny, November’s change was a week early.

“Morning, Evans,” he croaked, sitting up gingerly. Madame Pomfrey had patched him up at sunrise and left him to sleep it off in the Shack.

“Morning, Remus. Breakfast?” she said and Remus could just smell the nerves.

“Please.”

He accepted his tray and nibbled on his toast while Lily nibbled on her lower lip. Okay, he knew his friends becoming Animagi and taking him out on the full moon wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but they were always in control of him. Was she still angry about it? Had she accidentally let it slip to a teacher? Or was it something about the map they had made? It showed the whole castle, and everyone in it. It was a modified form of the Locator Charm, and even Lily had admitted it was an impressive feat for the quartet of fifteen year old wizards. Had a teacher found it? Were they all in trouble?

“Lily, whatever you’re nervous about, just tell me. Did I do something bad last night?” he asked. “Oh God, did I bite someone?”

“No, no, you didn’t bite someone. And you didn’t do anything bad. Not you,” she said. “Remus, promise me you won’t shoot the messenger.”

“I promise.”

She stood up and backed away a few steps. “Sirius did something bad last night. I wanted you to hear it from a friend before Professor Dumbledore comes here to tell you.” There was a clatter on the stairs and she sighed. “Too late. Just remember, James stopped it before it got too serious.”

Okay, Remus was very confused now. What had Sirius done? As Remus opened his mouth to question her, Dumbledore appeared with James, Sirius and Severus.

“Why is Severus here?” Remus whispered, more terrified than he had ever been.

“Oh, shut it, Lupin,” Severus snapped. “I know what you are, I saw you last night.”

Oh God, Remus couldn’t breathe.

“Mr Snape has promised not to say anything on the condition he is allowed to work on an experimental potion,” Dumbledore said.

“What potion?” Remus asked.

“It is called the Wolfsbane Potion. It will allow a werewolf to keep their human mind during their monthly changes, making them harmless. Mr Snape would like to develop it, using you as his test subject. For that, we can buy his silence.”

Remus stared at the Slytherin. It was too late to obliviate Severus, he had seen too much. For Dumbledore to obliviate Severus, he could cause a lot of damage, possibly leave him unhinged. Remus considered it. One experimental potion every month in return for Severus’ silence. It was a small price to pay.

“How do I know you won’t poison me?”

Severus scoffed. “As if I’d waste my time,” he spat. “With this potion, I can qualify early to be a Potions Master. I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for me. I get my title, you get my silence. Do we have a deal?”

After a few moments of deliberation, Remus nodded and Dumbledore had the two of them sign a contract guaranteeing that, no matter what, Severus would keep his silence and Remus would take his potions until graduation. Once Severus had placed his signature, he swept from the room and Remus curled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them.

“How did he find out?” he whispered and Lily took another step back.

“Tell him,” she said.

Remus looked up to see Sirius shaking his head. Lily marched over to him and grabbed him by the hair, pushing him closer to the bed.

“Tell him! This is your fucking mess, you fucking well clean it up!” she yelled, shoving him away in disgust.

Sirius looked guiltily at Remus and wished he hadn’t. Those beautiful amber eyes staring at him in confusion broke his heart. He knew now that he could kiss any chance of Remus ever going out with him goodbye. He had been so stupid, and in the process he had hurt Remus. He would be lucky if Remus ever spoke to him again.

“I told him how to get into the tunnel,” Sirius mumbled and then watched as Remus crumbled.

The werewolf sat there in shock, frozen under the weight of the confession. Sirius had betrayed him, done the one thing he had promised he would never do.

“Remus, I am so sorry. I was just so angry at him. He kept going on about the Dark Arts, and he was so smug, and what he did to you and Malcolm-”

Sirius didn’t get to finish his little outpouring. Remus leapt from the bed and punched him around the face. The punch was so hard, it sent Sirius flying across the room, splitting his lip and breaking his nose. Professor Dumbledore didn’t do anything, he just stood there letting Remus handle it. If Sirius was in danger of being murdered or seriously injured, he would intervene. But Dumbledore wasn’t stupid enough to take on a fully mature werewolf the morning after his third change. Many accused him of being an old fool, but he wasn’t suicidal.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?” Remus breathed incredulously. “You betray me to that piece of shit and you’re sorry? You know what, Sirius, you’re pathetic! You swore to me you would keep my secret, you promised!”

“Remus, please, just let me explain!”

“I don’t want to hear your explanations! I don’t want anything from you except your absence! Get! OUT!”

Sirius stared at him for a few moments before he hung his head in shame and hauled himself to his feet, casting one last glance at Remus before he left the room.

Remus stood there in silence as he tried to take in everything Sirius had said. He had betrayed him. Nothing else seemed to be getting through at that moment. Sirius had betrayed him. That was simple enough to understand, but what wasn’t so clear was what actually hurt more.

Was it the betrayal that stabbed like a knife? Or was it the sadness in Sirius’ eyes?

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It took nine days for Remus to even look at Sirius again, and thirteen for him to speak to him. Sirius didn’t complain, he knew he was damn lucky Remus hadn’t killed him.

“Explain,” Remus said one night.

The two of them were the only ones still awake, Peter and James had fallen asleep hours ago. Sirius had been sitting silently doing his Charms homework and he hadn’t realised Remus was still awake.

Sirius looked over to Remus’ bed to find Remus lying there staring at him.

“How long have you been awake?” Sirius asked cautiously.

“I haven’t gone to sleep yet. I want you to explain why you told him.”

Sirius set aside his homework and made his way over to Remus bed, moving very slowly in case Remus decided he was better off dead. Remus sat up and smoothed down the blanket Anne made him out of self heating wool. Remus only used it when he felt particularly homesick, and he had been using it a lot since Sirius betrayed him to Severus. Sirius was actually shocked that Remus hadn’t decided to pack Hogwarts in and go home, he had every right to.

“Can I sit down?” Sirius whispered and Remus nodded. Sirius took a seat and took a deep breath before he began to explain.

“I was walking past the Slytherin table and I heard Sniv- …I mean, Severus going on about how great the Dark Arts were, and how he had heard of Greyback. He kept going on about how incredible he was, how much power there was behind what he did. And I just kept thinking about you, about how all that power made you like this, about how much you hate it. I just wanted to show him what the Dark Arts do to people, I wanted him to see what Greyback really did to people. I wanted him to see how much Greyback hurt you,” Sirius said, staring at the blanket. “I’m sorry. It was so stupid, and I’ll completely understand if you never want to talk to me again.”

Remus was very silent, and Sirius was just waiting for him to tell him to fuck off. “That’s what Lily told me,” Remus murmured and Sirius looked up at him.

Remus smiled at the surprise in those blue eyes.

“Yes, Lily spoke to me. And James, and Peter, and Dumbledore, and McGonagall, and Pomfrey, and Slughorn. In fact, I don’t think there’s a single person who knows about me who hasn’t told me the story. I heard that you told Severus how to get into the tunnel, and Peter overheard you. He went and got James, who pulled Severus out before I bit him, but not before he saw what I am. He saw too much, and James said too much to him, for Dumbledore to obliviate him without damage. He was going to try, but Severus came up with the Wolfsbane deal. Am I right?”

Sirius nodded.

“You know, if he poisons me, I’m coming back to haunt you.”

Sirius looked up into those amber eyes and suddenly couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t explain it, this incredible pull he felt to just lean in and kiss Remus. He didn’t act on it. Oh no, Remus might actually kill him for that at this point. Best not to push it.

“You forgive me?” Sirius asked.

“No, and I won’t forget it either. But I understand it. I’m not happy about what you did, but I’m not going to kill you for it either. Just promise me something,” Remus said.

“Name it.”

“Promise me you will never tell anyone ever again.”

“I swear.” He paused. “Does this mean you’re still my friend?”

“Yes, I’m still your friend. And you better cherish me as your friend, because you so don’t deserve my friendship after this.”

“I will,” Sirius said immediately and Remus smiled at him.

“Did you hear about James’ crush?”

“What crush?” Sirius said, looking over at his sleeping best friend.

“On Evans.”

Sirius grabbed one of Remus’ pillows to bury his face in to cover his laughter. “No way! But she hates him!”

“Yes, but he doesn’t seem deterred by it. He’s asked her out seventeen times in the last week, that I know of. She always says she’d rather date the Giant Squid, or something like that. It’s brilliant.”

Sirius dissolved into another bout of laughter and, this time, Remus laughed with him.

Remus watched his mate laugh and wondered if he’d ever be able to tell Sirius how he felt. Sirius hadn’t dated anyone yet this year, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Remus knew he could handle it until he admitted how he felt to Sirius, and it would be fine if Sirius didn’t reciprocate his feelings, just so long as they didn’t have sex.

But it didn’t stop it hurting when he thought of Sirius with someone else.

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Sirius couldn’t take it anymore, he just couldn’t. There was this thing inside him fighting to get out, and if he didn’t kiss Remus soon, the pull was going to drive him insane.

It was this simple reason that had him declining the Halloween Hogsmeade trip.

Remus had only come back from the Shack that morning, and he had looked so exhausted that James had only asked him if he wanted to come as a gesture, all of them knowing full well Remus would say no. But it had surprised them when Sirius said he wouldn’t be going either.

So here he was, a stormy Saturday afternoon, trying not to look at Remus’ arse.

They were in the dorm, Remus searching for a book, and Sirius couldn’t stop staring at that wonderful backside as it passed him time and time again.

Sirius couldn’t help but notice that Remus had come into his maturity, at long last. When he saw him heading off with his parents at the end of their fourth year, Remus had still been as small as a first year, skinny, and very very pale. Not the case when Remus finally arrived for their fifth year. Remus had not invited them to stay for the summer, and Anne’s letter had stated that Remus was going through a difficult patch with his ‘condition’. Further letters had explained that Remus had hit his werewolf maturity, and it was not a pleasant experience to be around his constant mood swings. Well, when Remus had arrived for their fifth year, Sirius had seen just what an effect maturing had worked on the object of his desires.

Remus was bloody gorgeous, there was no other way to put it. Only an inch shorter than Sirius now, with a lithely muscled frame, his amber eyes had gone from sweet to enchanting. He was a beautiful example of a man, and a pure example of a dominant alpha werewolf. He was all about control and strength now, and it was more than a little confusing to have Remus still be as sweet as he always was with that commanding aura around him.

“Remus?” Sirius said and Remus hummed without turning around. Sirius gulped. It was now or never, and now was exactly the moment. Who knew when they would get another moment alone like this?

“Remus, I…”

“Go on, Sirius. I’ll be done here in a moment, but I’m listening,” Remus reassured, his head under James’ bed.

Sirius closed his eyes. “Remus, I love you. I’m in love with you. I think you’re the most amazing boy I’ve ever met, and I want to be with you. And if you don’t want to be with me, please just tell me now, or I might go insane.” He opened his eyes to find Remus standing there staring at him. “Oh Merlin. Remus, I get this feeling in my stomach every time I’m near you, or think about you, or see you, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else, and I can’t help it. I’ve tried, but I just can’t. I love you, Remus.”

There was absolute still silence and Remus could see Sirius wishing he could reel the words back in. Oh God, his mate had just professed love. In all his widest imaginings, and he had had quite a few of those since he matured back in July, he had never imagined love. Maybe Sirius liking him, fancying him, maybe even wanting to date him. But never love. Remus suppressed his smile at Sirius nervously chewing his lower lip. Now, now, that was his job.

Sirius watched, hardly able to breathe, as Remus slowly crossed the room, smiling softly. One of two things was about to happen. Either Remus was about to reject him, or Sirius was going to get the kiss he had been dreaming of for over a year. He was hoping for the latter.

Remus entwined their hands and kissed him, pressing his body against Sirius’. Sirius was completely still for a moment, before he kissed back.

Sirius felt that desperate pull inside him disappear, replaced instead by a warm fuzzy feeling. He could feel Remus smiling into the kiss and Sirius moaned, loving the feel of those soft lips on his own. Sirius knew, more than he knew anything else, that he could never let anyone but Remus kiss him.

Remus pulled back and kissed the tip of Sirius’ nose before resting his forehead against Sirius’.

“I love you too.”

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Please review and let me know what you think.

AUTHORS NOTE: i have recieved a review talking about this as a one shot. This is NOT a one shot, it is only chapter one.