Oh...No Bloody Idea!

Q here. My dear partner in crime - A - issued a challenge to myself and TambratheGreat. Details of the challenge are after the story.

Oh, and I truly can't think of a title. Any suggestions?!

Q

Prologue – The Present

I’m not really sure where to begin. Well, first of all, my name is Frederick Potter, and my parents are Harry and Ginny Potter. This year I start at Hogwarts. My brothers James and Albus, and my sister Lily have all already started there and each holiday I hear crazy tales of the things James has been up to.

I know my family is unusual. I know my Dad is famous for defeating Voldemort a couple of decades ago, and, because of that, his children are, even now, subjected to ridiculous amounts of scrutiny. Luckily my Godfather has some pull with the Ministry and even manages to stop the Prophet from prying too closely into our lives.

Uncle George has always said, because I’m a twin, that’ll be harder for me to find my own identity. He says he wishes I could meet Uncle Fred, as I take after him a little in the looks department, but then, he says he wishes he could just see his brother again. Poor Uncle George. It has been hard developing my own identity, but, luckily for me, my sister, Fauna, looks nothing like me, and has a completely different personality.

I’m tall, red-headed, with brown eyes like my mother. I freckle easily, but also tan quickly too. Fauna has my father’s dark hair, but, instead of the crazed mess I know and love of Dad’s, it’s long and sleek. She swears she doesn’t use anything on it, but I don’t believe her! Her eyes are light green, and her skin is pale, which actually suits her.

Anyway, I started this because dad has been looking at us both oddly recently; as though there is something he needs to tell us. To be honest it’s freaking me out a little. But, whatever it is, it can’t be that bad!

Chapter One – Twelve Years Ago

“Ginny?” Harry looked around the house for his wife, swallowing nervously. He had something he had to tell her, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. It would involve a long, detailed and unpleasant discussion about topics he felt uncomfortable broaching.

She wasn’t home yet, which was a little unusual, but not unheard of. He wandered into the kitchen and saw a note propped against the bread board:

Having a selfish day! The kids are with my mother. She said she’ll have them overnight so that we can have some alone time.

G

Harry read it, smiling slightly to himself. It was as he picked up the note that he noticed it – a faint magical residue after the last sentence. Idly, he set about finding out what Ginny had erased:

We need to talk.

At once Harry’s heart dropped. Did she know? Had she guessed? He had been so careful, had hated what had been happening, but had been unable to stop. Hands shaking, he sat down. How had he allowed this to happen?

Well, he knew how…

Chapter Two – Thirteen Years Ago

BITCH! Bitch! Bitch! BITCH! Harry thought venomously as he stomped angrily around Diagon Alley. He had already spent several hours in a pub, and was not entirely sober.

He and Ginny, newly married, had just had one of their fights. It wasn’t new, in fact, it was unfortunately all too common. Mrs Weasley had said, after one of their fights had been sorted, that that was just the same as she and Arthur had been. They had been friends first, had fallen in love, and then had spent the first few years of their marriage arguing. She had claimed that it was good to test how solid their foundations were.

Harry was horribly afraid that they weren’t solid enough. He loved Ginny, and couldn’t imagine not spending the rest of his life with her, but why didn’t she understand him? Why couldn’t she see that her stance was just driving a wedge between them?

He stalked blindly down the street, and turned into a dark side alley to think.

“Potter? In Nocturne Alley? Are you lost?” a familiar drawl assaulted his ears.

Malfoy.

Even now, years after school, after the battle, he still couldn’t bear the little ferret.

“Piss off,” Harry said tiredly, resting his head against the cool brickwork.

“Little woman annoyed you?” Malfoy asked, settling into a relaxed and confident stance. “They just don’t understand men, Potter. Only another man can. Sometimes you need to acknowledge that a woman can’t always give you what you want.”

Harry shook his head, not disagreeing with Malfoy’s words, but hating them, because, secretly, he thought the other man was correct.

“I’ve got nothing to do for an hour or two,” Malfoy shrugged, checking a silver and green pocket watch, “Why don’t you bore me with the details?”

An incredulous stare was his response, but, instead of telling the blond to bugger off and fuck with someone else’s head, Harry found himself saying, “I guess.”

Which was how he found himself, a month later, on his hands and knees, about to be fucked for the first time.

Malfoy slid slender, uncalloused hands over Harry’s tanned back, stroking over tense muscles. One palm moved to curve around a buttock, and began fondling it, as his other hand slid over the back and along the sides, making Harry gasp a little, trying to hold back giggles.

“Ticklish, Potter?” Malfoy asked and walked his fingers lightly up Harry’s side.

“St-stop that!” Harry stuttered, voice full of suppressed laughter.

“I keep telling you, Ginny can’t give you what I can. Does she make you laugh in bed? I do.” He moved so that his lips were brushing Harry’s neck, his hard dick rubbed against one firm buttock, “A good hard fuck is what you need Potter. I’m going to help you. You’ve bitched to me enough about how she doesn’t understand you, well now it’ll be your chance to understand what it’s like to be fucked.”

One digit rubbed against the twitching hole and Harry shuddered.

“How much do you want to be fucked right now?” Malfoy asked, before leaning back and swiping a glass bottle of thick golden fluid. His fingers moved quickly back to Harry’s entrance and he paused there, one tip circling the tightly clenched muscle.

His lips again touched Harry’s skin, “Come on, Potter, what do you want?”

Harry moaned as the finger pressed against his muscle, not breaching it, but close. But it wasn’t enough.

“Malfoy!” He groaned, “Stop dicking around!”

The blond coated two fingers and began wiggling one into the channel. “I thought the idea of this was to dick around,” he commented as he continued his steady invasion of Harry’s virgin passage.

Whimpering at the unfamiliar and unpleasant feeling, Harry couldn’t think of anything to say in response. He could barely think at all as the digit pushed all the way into him, and he felt the pressure of Malfoy’s hand against his ass. And then Malfoy began to move his finger around. It danced inside Harry, stroking the sides, and occasionally, just catching something that made Harry’s body buck, and made him see stars.

“God! Please Malfoy!” Harry whispered, wanting more.

The blond pulled part of the first finger out, and returned with a second.

The ache in Harry’s stretching body felt good, and made him long for more; for a thick, long cock.

“Fuck me!” he panted, hips rocking back and forward, “Fuck me!”

Malfoy smiled as he removed his fingers. He coated his dick, and quickly cast a calming charm so that Harry’s body would accept his dick without being fully prepared.

One hand gripped his prick as he began guiding it between Harry’s buttocks and against the undulating pucker. With steady concentration, he pressed in, hanging onto one hip as he pushed forcefully inside.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk!” Harry wailed as he was possessed.

“Indeed,” Malfoy choked out, cock compressed almost to the point of pain within the hot tight channel.

He took several deep breaths, hanging desperately on, then began to fuck the man under him.

Harry clung onto the sheets, breath knocked out of him with each hard stroke within, and longed for it to continue. His dick was tight against his belly, leaking continuously, as each thrust rocked him forwards. His hips were held tight in strong hands, pulling him back into position for another strike. Harry wanted to touch his own cock, needed to come so badly he hurt, but couldn’t uncurl his fingers enough to loosen his death grip on the bedding.

He felt the hot balls swinging back and forth, pressing against his ass, felt the thighs nudging his own legs wider still; knew without a shadow of a doubt that he needed this feeling again and again. His climax caught him by surprise. He shrieked as it boiled out of him, spurting over sheets and chest indiscriminately.

Malfoy, himself unprepared for the sudden grip on his dick, gasped and came. His seed thoroughly coated Harry’s insides, claiming the passage for his use.

Chapter Three – Twelve Years Ago (Part Two)

Harry sighed, head in his hands. How could he have been so stupid? Not only to cheat on his wife, but with Malfoy?! He heard a noise, and knew Ginny was back.

She came into the kitchen, looking tired and flushed.

“No shopping?” Harry asked. He really was rather lucky that way, Ginny didn’t go out on one of her ‘selfish days’ and spend a fortune, not that that really mattered; however, just occasionally he would have liked to feel she was enjoying her days out and doing more than browsing in the shops.

She shook her head, sitting down opposite him with a wince.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, as her shoulders slumped and she rubbed her stomach, looking uncomfortable.

Close to tears, Ginny managed to croak out, “"Erm....I have something to tell you...."

Harry waited expectantly, glad that his own admission could wait.

“I’m pregnant.”

His face split into a huge smile. “Really?! That’s great news!” He got up and hugged his wife close. “Oh Ginny, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me!”

Ginny pushed away from him, tears flowing down her cheeks. Her slender frame shook and trembled as she struggled to speak. “It’s not yours,” she got out at last.

Harry was too dumbfounded to even speak. Ginny, his Ginny had cheated on him? Had got pregnant by another man? He stared, horrified at this twist. He was too shocked to be angry, but knew anger would come. And knew too, he had no right to be angry.

He wanted to ask, needed to know who the father was, but couldn’t voice the words.

Shoulders shaking, Ginny answered his unspoken question, “Malfoy.” She whispered through tears, “Draco Malfoy.”

“THAT FUCKING LITTLE FERRET!” Harry exploded, shocking them both with the volume. “God! I knew he was seeing someone else, and it didn’t bother me, but, fucking hell! My wife! He was fucking my wife?! He left me to go and fuck you?!” He drew breath before bellowing, “I’ll fucking kill him with my bare hands!”

The silence hurt.

Ginny turned to face her husband, “What do you mean, he left you…?”

Harry collapsed into a chair. “I need to tell you something too.”

She stared. “You…and Malfoy?” her face drained of colour, “You … and him?” Her brown eyes opened wide, tears shining on her cheeks.

Harry nodded, misery oozing from every pore. “It gets worse,” he sobbed, sliding a hand through his already untidy hair and shaking his head, “I’m pregnant too.”

This time the silence sliced them both into tiny pieces of agony.

Ginny slowly, mechanically, moved to a chair and sat down, eyes glazed. “You and Malfoy…and you’re pregnant…with his child…”

“Like you,” Harry said tonelessly.

“How did this happen?” Ginny asked dully after an age had passed in silence.

“I don’t know,”

I do…

Chapter Four – Thirteen Years Ago (Part Two)

BASTARD! Bastard! Bastard! BASTARD! Ginny thought venomously as she stomped angrily around Diagon Alley.

She and Harry, newly married, had just had one of their fights. It wasn’t new, in fact, it was unfortunately all too common. Her mom had said, before she had married Harry, to expect it, and to deal with each argument in turn, and not keep bringing up what was in the past. It was good advice, and one Ginny tried to live by, but in the heat of an argument with her husband, she tended to forget reasonable behaviour.

She loved Harry, wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but she wasn’t going to accept that just because he was the man, his views were automatically correct.
Why couldn’t he see that his stance was just driving a wedge between them?

She stalked blindly around the shops and settled outside what had once been Florean Fortescue’s ice-cream parlour, and which was now a rather pleasant cafe. The waitress came over, and Ginny ordered a peppermint tea and giant soft-baked cookie.

“Mrs Potter?” a familiar drawled, and she turned in surprise.

Malfoy.

Even now, years after school, after the battle, she still couldn’t bear the little ferret.

“Malfoy,” she said politely but coldly, and returned to people-watching, hoping that her order would arrive quickly.

“Lovers’ tiff?” Malfoy asked, settling into a seat opposite her, looking relaxed and confident.

Her surprised expression told him that his guess had been correct.

“I imagine he just doesn’t understand you properly. Perhaps another man could. Sometimes you need to acknowledge that even your husband can’t always give you what you want.”

Ginny shook her head, not disagreeing with Malfoy’s words, but hating them, because, secretly, she thought the other man was correct.

“I’ve got nothing to do for an hour or two,” Malfoy shrugged, checking a silver and green pocket watch, “Why don’t you bore me with the details?”

An incredulous stare was his response, but, instead of telling the blond to bugger off and fuck with someone else’s head, Ginny found himself saying, “I guess.”

Which was how she found himself, a month later, on her back on Malfoy’s bed, about to cheat on her husband for the first time.

Malfoy slid one hand up and onto a generous breast, stroking the sensitive skin, and circling the nipple until she was gritting her teeth trying not to beg him to touch her. Her nub was tight and strained upwards, longing for some attention. Which he provided when he bent over and took her hard flesh into his mouth, tongue washing over it again and again.

Ginny writhed under him, hands going into his blond hair to hold him in place as he tormented and pleasured her in equal measure.

His mouth moved from one mound to the other, and, at the same time, one hand slid down over her twitching stomach to cup between her legs. He could feel the heat there, and the slickness of her arousal.

One finger slid into the welcoming wet and she gasped. His digit touched the swollen flesh, rubbing it; enjoying the mewls of almost-distress she gave as he brought her just as much ecstasy as her husband did.

He moved his mouth down over the freckled skin.

Ginny held her breath as he kissed the inside of her soft thighs. “Please,” she panted, “Malfoy, please.”

He dipped his face down and licked her.

She screamed and bucked wildly.

Malfoy grinned, learning something useful: Potter didn’t often do this for his wife, if that was her reaction. His tongue lashed at her: flicking the loose folds of skin, the aroused areas, the sensitive entrance, and all the while she moaned and jerked under him.

When, at last, he pressed a finger within her, she was close to climax. He worked three digits in, and set up a steady rhythm, stimulating her channel so that she whimpered quietly, passage tightening, and she sobbed as she peaked.

He gave her no rest, but moved into position, hard cock nudging at her twitching opening. He pushed in, feeling the body open and give around him, welcoming him into that hot wet place.

He settled all the way in, his balls pressing tight against her, his hands holding her hips as he ensured he was positioned as he wanted to be. He pulled out easily, then slammed back in.

Ginny panted, nails scrabbling for a hold on the bedclothes under her.

He thrust steadily into her body, cock tingling as his climax built.

“Harder!” Ginny gasped, legs wrapped tightly about him, “Oh! Harder!”

He willingly complied and fucked her hard. Malfoy grit his teeth as he felt his balls tightening. He was determined that she should come a second time before he released.

Ginny moaned and whimpered as she was thoroughly possessed, and, suddenly, surprising them both, she came again.

He, caught in her spasming tightness, groaned and spurted into her.

Chapter Five – Twelve Years Ago (Part Three)

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Ginny said after the silence had stretched out. “I thought he wanted to befriend me, to help. I should have known better.”

Harry shook his head, “It’s my fault. How can I have let you down like this? Allowed myself to be tricked by Malfoy. I believed, like you, that he only wanted to help. And now I find that not only has he been using you, using me too, but he’s impregnated us both!”

Ginny stared at the table for a long time. “So, what do we do now?” she asked.

Her husband shrugged. “I’m not sure. I don’t want us to split up.” He looked into her face, “Do you?” he asked, heart pounding.

He panicked. What if she felt that she couldn’t trust him any more? What if she thought he was gay? He couldn’t bear the thought of life without Ginny, and, god, what would he do as a parent without Ginny?

Ginny looked at him long and hard. Her eyes were full of hurt and disappointment; but he also still saw that same glimmer of love he was used to seeing in her. “No,” she said at last, “I don’t want us to split up, but I do want Malfoy to pay for what he’s done. Another child, two children, should make us feel ecstatic, not guilty and depressed. He has to pay.”

Harry nodded, accepting the wisdom of her words. “You’re right. What can we do?”

Ginny smiled mischievously.

--------------

Malfoy hadn’t wanted to meet the Potterette. After all, he’d had his fun, and now she’d got herself pregnant, what did it have to do with him if she were too stupid to cast a charm to prevent such things?

He sat outside the café where he had first begun his seduction, and tapped his fingers in annoyance. She was late.

“Sorry,” she gasped, apparating beside him, hair a mess. “James was being trying.”

Draco didn’t even pretend interest in her offspring. He had no interest in the child growing in her, and that he had had something to do with, so why she thought he would care at all about her own misbegotten brats, he didn’t know. Whatever she wanted to talk about, he wanted it over and done with, as he had agreed to meet the male Potter in the evening, and he was already starting to feel horny.

“Draco,” she began, sounding a little unsure.

He looked blankly at her, offering no encouragement.

“Y-you know I’m pregnant, and I don’t want my child to grow up without his father, so, would you pl-please be a part of his or her life? Please?”

The blond stared in honest shock. She thought he had any interest in the bastard?

“My son, Scorpius,” he started, “is my only concern. I have no interest in caring for another child, certainly not one bred on a Weasley.”

Ginny glared angrily at him. “I didn’t want to do this,” she muttered, “but I will. I know all about your father’s living will. Any Malfoy child can claim money from the estate. How happy will your dear wife be? Or your son if I claim the share my child is due?”

Draco’s jaw tightened, but he spoke urbanely, “The Malfoy wealth will not miss one extra claim upon it.”
Ginny suddenly smiled. “I hope you are right.” She paused, “Well, think it over. I’ll contact you tonight in case you’ve changed your mind.”

She stood up and walked away calmly.

Draco shook his head in bemusement, wondering that she had had the nerve to attempt to blackmail him. He laughed internally at the notion. Still, shaking his head, he sipped at his drink, awaiting the other Potter, looking forward to dragging him off to a hotel room and fucking his brain out.

-------------

“Sorry,” Harry gasped, apparating beside him, hair a mess. “James was being trying.”

Draco didn’t even pretend interest in Harry’s offspring. Harry had chosen to breed on a Weasley. He deserved everything he got.

“Draco,” he began, sounding a little unsure.

Malfoy looked blankly at him, offering no encouragement.

“I needed to talk to you. I don’t know what to do. I… I haven’t told Ginny, but I feel so awful! How could you have done this to me? Y-You knew it could happen? That I could get pregnant?!” Harry looked distraught and went on, “I don’t want my child to grow up without both its parents, so, would you pl-please be a part of his or her life? Please?”

The blond stared in honest shock. Harry was pregnant?! Pregnant?! PREGNANT?! His jaw worked uselessly for a few moments, then, recalling the words he had used with Ginny, he spoke smoothly, “My son, Scorpius, is my only concern. I have no interest in caring for another child, certainly not one bred on a half-blood.”

Harry glared desperately at him. He choked down his indignant cries and went straight for the jugular, “I didn’t want to do this,” he muttered, “but I will. I know all about your father’s living will. Any Malfoy child can claim money from the estate. How happy will your dear wife be? Or your son if I claim the share my child is due?”

Draco’s jaw tightened, feeling panic growing upon him, but he spoke urbanely, “The Malfoy wealth will not miss one extra claim upon it.”

Harry stared at him for a long moment. Long enough for Draco to feel uncomfortable. “I hope you are right,” he said at last, disappointment on his face. He added, “Think it over, Draco, carefully. I’ll speak to you later. See if you’ve changed your mind.”

Harry stood up and walked away calmly.

Draco shook his head in bemusement, wondering that Potter had had the nerve to attempt to blackmail him. He was, he admitted it privately, shaken by what the other man had said. After all, trust Potter to manage what almost no other wizard had, and carry a child. Draco’s thoughts suddenly took a dark turn as he realised that there would be media circus around Potter, once it was discovered he was pregnant. Could he, Draco, live with the stigma of having used Potter? He thought he could, but his wife couldn’t, nor Scorpius. For the sake of his beloved son, Draco would have to take an interest in the Potter brat’s life. If only to prevent the stupid man from blurting everything out to the press.

Ginny sat on the couch at home, idly rubbing her belly. Harry sat beside her.

“How long do you think it will take him to change his mind?” Ginny asked.

Harry shrugged, “I don’t know. No doubt he’s exploring all the angles as we speak and deciding that he has no real choice but to help us out. I’m betting he’ll choose to try and help me, without involving you.”

Ginny looked up at the clock and grinned, “See what it says?” she asked, pointing, “Long enough. Will you fire-call him or will I?”

“Wait…” Harry smiled evilly, “let’s do this together…”

Bending onto their knees, the two Potters threw powder into the fire and called Draco’s name clearly. For a few moments there was no response, but, after a while, a harried and less than sleek blond head looked at them.

“You bastards!” Draco snapped when he saw their identical smiling faces, “You told each other?”

Ginny spoke first. “Right, Malfoy, here’s how this will work: you will move in with us while we are pregnant. Harry will hide his condition for as long as possible. When it is no longer hideable, we will all go away. Our kids will stay with my mother, and you will wait on us hand and foot, seeing to our every need. If you do this, once the children are born we will not bother you about them ever again, unless you wish to be involved in their lives. And Harry will keep quiet about your antics. Agreed?”

Malfoy’s face was taut with anger, but he knew he had no choice. “Agreed.”

Chapter Six – Six Months Later

Draco, his hair messy and his eyes bleary, was running yet another cup of spiced peppermint tea up to Ginny. Luckily Harry was sleeping, so that gave the blond a few minutes respite from Harry’s constant demands.

He floated the tea in. The last time he had carried it, Ginny had snapped that he was holding the cup wrong. So now he used magic, and hoped to Merlin that the hormone-ridden hag would soon fall asleep.

She grunted as she took the levitating cup, glowering at it as though looking for something to complain about.

Draco held his breath and backed quickly out of the room, then sank onto his own bed. He collapsed onto his back, groaning as his sore muscles complained. For the past two months, ever since Harry had started showing noticeably, the three of them had been living in a secret location, far away from prying eyes. This meant that Draco had to wait on two pregnant people day and night. He rubbed the small of his back, feeling some of the knots of tension loosening finally.

“Oh….Draaaaaaaaacoooooooooo!” Harry’s singsong call rang out.

“Fuck!” Draco snarled as he rolled off the bed, wincing as his throbbing feet hit the hard wooden floor again.

-------------

Draco nearly screamed in frustration and anger when, almost exactly nine months to the day since she had become pregnant, Ginny went into labour.

An hour after, Harry began too.

It was a long and difficult birth for both parents. And for Draco, who was kept running from one to the other constantly throughout their ten hour labours. But, when Ginny held her son in her arms, and Harry held his daughter, all the annoyance and confusion and irritation seemed worth it.

Draco slumped into a chair in relief. Then groaned. Two more Potter brats to infect the world with their black and white view of things!

Chapter Seven – The Present (Part Two)

Frederick looked at his father. “What is it Dad?”

Harry looked frightened and unsure, but, Gryffindor that he was, opened his mouth to speak anyway. Luckily he was cut off by Fauna’s excited cry as she spied who had just flooed into the room:

“Daddy Dray!” she shrieked, flinging herself into the blond’s arms.

Harry and Ginny thought it was screamingly funny to have Draco called “Daddy Dray” by his two unacknowledged children, especially as a muscle in Draco’s jaw tightened every single time the term was used.

“How are my two favourite God-children?” he asked with a slight smile, settling into a chair and pushing off the robes he wore at the Ministry to reveal his usual black suit underneath.

“Great!” yelled Fauna, making all three adults wince at the volume, “I get to start Hogwarts soon. I can’t WAIT to be Sorted! I know I’ll be in Gryffindor! After all, both of my parents were!”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Actually,” Harry began, getting a nod from Ginny who had heard the noise and come into the room, “we needed to talk to you two about that.”

The blond hurriedly stood up and took a long step towards the fireplace. “This looks like family business,” he said, “you don’t need me here.”

“SIT!” Ginny snapped, and, browbeaten, Draco Malfoy sat back down.

-------------

Frederick looked again at what he had written in his journal:

Anyway, I started this because dad has been looking at us both oddly recently; as though there is something he needs to tell us. To be honest it’s freaking me out a little. But, whatever it is, it can’t be that bad!

Hmmm…

CHALLENGE

Harry and Ginny are, essentially, happily married, just because they've been seeing someone else doesn't mean they love one another any less, and neither has ever had any thought of leaving.

Harry and Ginny are friends as well as spouses....it was the foundation for their marriage, so even though they're both momentarily shocked at one another's actions, they work it out, and realise that Draco has been using them both.

They plot revenge. This can be as nasty, cold, calculating, funny, deadly, etc. as you like, but I would like to see some humour at some point in the story.

There must be at least one het scene and one slash scene. These can be in flashbacks, dreams, or whatever you want, but must be included in the story. A 3-some, as part of the revenge is also a possibility, but if you do a 3-some, you must also choose at least one of the other scenes, het or slash, your choice.


Dialogue prompts:


"Erm....I have something to tell you...."


"That fucking little ferret!"


"Wait.....let's do this together!"


"Oh Dra-a-a-a-co......" (singsong voice)

Reviews are always welcome!

Q