Wizard's Porn

Wizard’s Porn.


A/N:

This isn’t quite PWP – but it isn’t far off. Lol. Lemons, limes and the rest of the citrus family. But there is a story to be had.

I’m not perfectly sure if I need all the warnings, but better safe than sorry.

Lots of naughty words in here too, so if you don’t like some of the more ‘non-biological’ words for sexual organs, then I’d click the ‘back’ button sharpish. The only word I won’t use is the one that starts with ‘C’, ends in ‘M’ and has a ‘U’ in the middle. I don’t like that spelling of that word.

Final warning: XXX


CHAPTER ONE: Wizard’s Porn

Even with all of Arthur Weasley’s tinkering, the Television never became popular in the magical world, neither did the cinema. Most of the magical community would rather listen to the wireless or watch a play live at the theatre than sit in front of this box with a smaller-than-life moving picture and sound. A full size portrait was more entertaining than those things called ‘soap operas’, which neither contained detergent or musical entertainment.

Some things, such as documentaries were very educational on the muggle way of life; but if members of the magical community wanted to learn about muggle cultures, all they had to do was step through the Leaky Caldron (and it’s various equivalents up and down the country) and people watch for a while. Most muggleborns only went back to the realm they’d been born in to visit family – they didn’t fit in a world without magic any more than their relatives fitted into magical society.

Since the war, the ministry began to offer more equal opportunities to sqibs and muggleborns; the magical world was calm and quite content to carry on as it had done for millennia.


* * * * *

Pornography had been around since the first images of people copulating were drawn – it was nothing new; but after watching the muggle equivalent on the television, most magical viewers were rather unimpressed. Watching sex in a minute form on a box was worse than what the wizarding world had to offer.

The wizarding world had it’s fair share of moving, photographic magazines – and as you could only view pornography that wasn’t on paper once over seventeen, the magazines were aimed at the pre-seventeen magical population, mainly teenage boys.

Most adults didn’t purchase the magazines – what was the point when there was a much better alternative?

Magical pornography was easily accessed; you owled or flooed the establishment, booked your booth, paid, apparated or portkeyed directly into it and watched. The previous ministers hadn’t liked it one bit, and the theatres were run in secret; until the new government realised how much money the pornographic performances made in a night – and legalised the venues.

The establishments varied greatly, but the most popular was the largest, and oldest: The Theatre of Pleasures.

The Theatre of Pleasures was really an arrangement of fifteen large circular theatres, that contained thirty private booths; and nine smaller ones that contained one booth with a one-way wall.

Each large theatre had a different theme, as well as a regular clientele who paid five galleons per person to watch the live sex on the stage in the centre of the room.

The pornographic performers were all completely anonymous, knowing only each other’s ‘nick names’ and the heavily glamoured appearance. Some had fan clubs, others did only one performance and decided exhibition wasn’t their thing. They were paid equally whatever was left after the administrators had taken forty galleons from each performance; and the ministry had taken fifty in tax. It was one of the few magical industries where the patrons left tips (after all, you wouldn’t leave a tip for the serving elves in a restaurant). With a packed audience, all impressed with what they’d seen; a performer could earn a rather large coin bag at the end of a night.

Private showings were available in miniature theatres, but were hundreds of galleons per show. Most private theatres were hired by couples who wanted to watch in just that – privacy.

The admin of The Theatre of Pleasures had realised that the performers tried to out-do the other genres in an aim to get custom, and thus their wages. Other establishments paid their performers a flat fee, not always getting quality performances; the regulars of The Theatre of Pleasures attempted to better their acts (and gain viewers) with every performance – and kept the customers coming back.

Performances were booked months in advance, with programs being requested by owl by patrons.

It was a brilliant system, the ministry loved the amount of tax they could gain in a week; which was used to re-build the damaged wizarding world after the war… and the sexually liberated performers could keep their libido’s happy and get paid for it at the same time.