Harry...er...ette

Sit down and get comfortable written in response to a challenge by Falcore, I'll tell you what in the next chapter not to ruin the surprise. Enjoy!

Shit was the only thought managing to get past the feeling of intense panic in Harry's mind. His breath was coming in gasps and his muscles were stretched to the breaking point. He almost went down as he skidded around a corner, his arms full. He cursed Snape to a painful death as he regained his balance and began pacing up and down the corridor. I need a place to hide this stuff, I need a place to hide this stuff, I need a place to hide this stuff. It worked, harry breathed a sigh of relief and made a mental note to propose to Fred and George. He wrenched open the door, and despite the fact that he was going to be doomed to a fate worse than death if he didn't get back to his dormitory in three minutes, he couldn't help but stop, jaw dropping. It was amazing, a labyrinth of piles of treasure, broken, dangerous or just plain embarrassing. Harry shook himself, and made his way to the nearest cupboard, dumping some potions ingredients and porno magazines. He was about to slam the door and begin running, but the light glinted off something red and shiny and Harry turned to the object. It was a bracelet, a beautiful one, and from the look of it, damn expensive. Harry thought of how nice it would look on Cho's slender little wrist, and tucked it in his pocket with a smile. With a last regretful glance at his well-loved porno magazines, Harry turned and sprinted back to his dormitory, hoping he'd still be able to beat Snape there.

Harry had been reading a particularly boring book for History of Magic when Fred and George had tumbled into the common room, making straight for him. Harry looked up startled, there wasn't half a smile between them, and that was not a good sign. They each seized an arm and begun dragging him to his dormitory. He struggled in vain, worried by their very unusual attitude.
“Hey, guys, what the hell is going on?” Harry asked, his glasses askew.
“Harry, mate, you're about to be in, pardon my french, a big pile of shit.” Fred said grimly.
“We were just at the staff room when Snape came bursting in, said his private supplies had been broken into again and he was after you.” George gave Harry a sympathetic expression.
“McGonagall was flat against it, of course, then he used the missing Gillyweed and, well, she admitted it was a little too convenient.” They'd reached Harry's room.
“He'll be here in less than 10 minutes, better get anything incriminating out of here fast.” Harry tried to unglue his tongue from its state of shock.
“Where am I going to hide it?” He stared at the twins, horror bubbling in his stomach.
“Room of Requirement. Seventh floor, opposite that tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy being clubbed by trolls. Just walk past it three times and think of what you need. Good luck mate.” The two scampered out, willing to put as much distance between them and the marked man. Harry jumped into action, cursing Ron for convincing him to steal the bloody ingredients for a lust potion, and dug out the ingredients from the bottom of his trunk. With a flash of embarrassment, he imagined snape finding his dirty magazines, and he fished them out from under his mattress and bolted.

Harry stopped sprinting, he had nothing to hide, Snape wasn't going to find anything, he couldn't blame Harry for not being in his common room. He smoothed his hair and wiped sweat from his face, trying to put on a normal expression. He entered the common room to find it empty, except for Snape lounging threateningly in an armchair directly in front of him. His heart leaped into his mouth, it was like a scene from a nightmare.
“What do you want...professor.” Harry almost choked on the last three syllables.
“Well, Potter, once again potions ingredients have gone missing from my private store. You have already given me adequate reason to suspect you. I'm here to search your room and if all goes well, expel you.” Harry kept his heart beat down, he had nothing to be afraid of. Harry shrugged and stomped up to his dormitory, hoping for their sake the other boys weren't there. Harry opened the door and gestured for Snape to go in. Snape began looking around, searching methodically, then he withdrew his wand and began muttering spells. It was a mere five minutes before, enraged, Snape gave up. He swept over to Harry and held his finger inches from his nose.
“I know you're hiding them somewhere, if anything else goes missing from my stores again I will make sure you're out of this school before your worshippers can shed even one tear.” Snape swept out in a terrifying swirl of black robes. Harry let out a breath and slumped down onto his bed.
“Is he gone yet?” A small voice seemed to come from above him. Harry stifled a laugh, somehow Neville had wedged himself on top of the wardrobe. Harry laughed and got up to look out the door to make sure.
“Yeah, he's gone.” Neville rolled down with a loud thump.
“Thank god. The stupid git, barging in here like that.” Harry laughed again as Ron rolled out from under his own bed. He brushed himself off and sat on his bed. Neville excused himself to go to the toilet, waddling with a tell-tale damp patch down his inner thighs. Harry pretended not to notice and flopped onto his stomach. Something dug into his thigh and he sat up again, remembering the bracelet. It was even more beautiful now he had a chance to really look at it, noticing the little flecks of orange and black through the gems that were set in white gold. Ron came over to Harry's bed to look at it.
“Blimey, where the hell did you get that?” Harry shrugged, unable to take his eyes away from it.
“Found it.” Ron gaped at Harry as if he'd gone crazy.
“You're going to hand it in...right?” Harry looked up, a guilty twinge coming over him, he hadn't thought of that.
“Nah, it was in the Room of Requirement, it's probably too old for anyone to remember it.” Ron ran a finger over one of the stones. They both ignored the obvious possibility that it could be dangerous.
“What are you going to do with it?” Harry blushed a little.
“I was going to see if maybe Cho...er...wanted it.” Ron laughed at him.
“Bribery is a bit low mate. Besides it looks too big.” Harry frowned, he hadn't noticed that. It was definitely a feminine piece of jewelry, but it looked like it was designed to fit on male wrist.
“Yeah, you're right, maybe it just looks big.” He undid the clasp and did it back up on his wrist. Suddenly all his breath was pushed out of him and a tingling sensation flooded over his skin. He vaguely felt himself falling off the bed before blacking out.