Atrum Viridis

WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR 7TH BOOK!!! IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT DON’T READ THIS!!!!!!!


Author Note: There will be differences between this and the 7th book for obvious reasons that I can’t say here for risk of giving spoilers. If you’ve read it you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. TT Why WHY did it have to happen!? *ahem* anyway, I hope some of you don’t hold it against me that I’m changing a bit and I hope you like it. It actually came from a dream I had. And on another note, I’m sorry for all of you Ginny lovers but she’s just not someone that I can see having a relationship with Harry or even being a main character. My pairing isn’t very obvious but I think it holds a little more weight because of all the history between them and the huge revelations that happen during the book.

Summary: After the final battle with Voldemort, Harry finds himself as savior of the wizarding world but at a cost. His friends and family almost never leave his side and the title of the Boy-who-lived becomes heavier than ever. Searching for a place of solitude where he can quietly mourn those lost, he finds solace in an unusual place. But what will he choose to do when he decides he no longer wants to be Harry Potter?

Chapter One: Afterwards.


It was only a couple of hours since the final battle against Lord Voldemort and to Harry it already felt like a lifetime. After the adrenaline had drained from his system the dark haired boy – the Boy-Who-Lived – the Wizarding World’s Savior – the CHOSEN ONE – was left as the exhausted and lost child of seventeen that he really was. The Hospital Wing had been damaged in the battle – courtesy of the giants – so the injured had been moved to the Main Hall after being cleared away by a flick of Professor McGonagall’s wand.

Rows and rows of beds were lined up to hold bleeding and jinxed students along with a few adults. In one corner there was a mob of red hair gathered around Fred who was heavily bandaged and being prepared to be moved to St. Mugo’s. He had been injured by a Backfiring Jinx and a combined Incendio when he had jumped in front of George to save him from being attacked from behind by a group of death eaters. In another corner Neville was having his arm repaired after being broken in three different places while his Grandmother sat proudly by his side, finally seeing that he was just as strong and determined as his parents had been. Many more beds were filled…but Harry couldn’t help but notice those that should be there…but weren’t. The ones that wouldn’t be coming back.

The dead…the dead were laid outside while their bodies were being attended to by their loved ones. Harry’s mind swam with the thought. Dead. Tonks, Remus…Ginny. They were gone. It didn’t feel real, it didn’t feel right. After all they had gone through…there was so much loss. He hadn’t even been there to see them die – the struggle with Voldemort himself had kept him focused on that alone. It felt like a hole in his heart. The last of the Marauders were gone and Ginny…she could have been the one. He didn’t know much about love but she had stood by him and trusted him. That alone would have been enough in his mind…but wasn’t that lucky. Maybe everyone he loved was supposed to be torn from him… The thought was depressed and selfish. The Weasleys had lost their only daughter and sister. Other families had lost their loved ones as well as him…he couldn’t allow himself to think like that anymore. He was just thankful that Hermione and Ron were both alive and relatively uninjured - at least not with anything that was lasting. That just left one person that Harry worried for.

Snape had been levitated out of the Shrieking Shack by Professor McGonagall and rushed to St. Mugo’s in hopes of stopping the deadly venom of Nagini from killing him. Harry’s feelings on the man were mixed and a muddle of confused thoughts. He had killed Dumbledore – the man he had seen as a near grandfather role in his life – but only because the man had made him promise to do so. He had hated his father so much…but partly because he had loved his mother so much and had watched as she chose the man who tortured him instead of the first magical friend she had ever had. He had turned to Voldemort to ensure that they would win. He had been on their side all along and while he still resented what had happened and what he had agreed to do under Voldemort…he still couldn’t help but feel regret that he had been hurt. He – out of everyone in the Order – had risked the same if not more than he had. He had been forced into a position that he never really wanted, and been used as a tool to the ends of the greater good. Yes he might never tell him or anyone else but in Harry’s eyes Snape was the only one who could understand him…and he hoped that the man wouldn’t be added to the list of people he would mourn over.

“Harry?” the soft, unsure voice of Hermione whispered as she put her hand gently on his shoulder, effectively snapping him out of his thoughts.

He turned his gaze up to one of his two best friends and saw the worry in her eyes, causing him to force a gentle smile to calm her. The act did seem to release a bit of the tension in her shoulders and she nodded, sitting quietly beside him against the wall and looking out over the bustling room.

“It wasn’t your fault Harry.” She said gently. “You stopped him…because of you no one else will have to die.”

Bless Hermione…in some ways she was so understanding and in others she just never seemed to get it. He didn’t realize how much he had needed someone beside him right then. His smile faded a little and turned into a more genuine sad one.

“Why aren’t you with Ron?” he asked, nodding to across the room where they could see the procession of red-heads levitating Fred out of the Great Hall so they could apparate him to the wizard hospital.

Hermione shrugged faintly. “It’s a family affair…I felt kind of out of place.” She admitted with a sheepish grin before her eyes turned a little sad. “And I didn’t want to leave you alone over here…Ron would have come too but he said he needed to be with his brother.”

Harry nodded in understanding. He would have yelled at his friend probably if he had, ordering him to stay with his brother until he was better. They had already lost one Weasley, they couldn’t lose another.

“How…how are they?” he asked softly, watching as Hermione instantly sobered.

“They…haven’t had a chance to mourn yet taking care of Fred…but it’s not good.” She whispered, her eyes going teary. “I just….its hard for any of us to believe she’s gone…you know?” she said, almost talking to herself.

He nodded faintly, his heart wrenching as he looked up, staring out the windows at the top of the room. The clouds had faded away to show bright sun. A new start, a new beginning…but it just seemed wrong. Everyone was so happy, excited about the fall of the Dark Lord but to him it should still be dark, should still be storming. He finally stood and brushed off his robes.

“Go with them Hermione.” He said softly, startling the girl. “Don’t worry…I’ll be okay.” He said, forcing another smile for her.

Hermione instantly scrambled to her feet, giving him a worried and confused look.

“Harry?” she asked before shaking her head. “Come with me…they want you there too…”

Harry shook his head though and smiled weakly. “Not this time Hermione…I need to be alone for a little while…okay?” he said. “I’ll come see them later, I promise. Just stay with them.”

Hermione wanted to argue, he could see it in her eyes but she also knew that he needed to be alone…needed time to sort through everything that happened. She reached out and hugged him desperately.

“Stay safe…there might still be Death Eaters…and contact us as soon as possible.” She said softly. “Promise?”

Harry hugged her back just as tightly and nodded.

“Marauder’s honor.” He whispered with a faint smile before pulling back. “Go on, you can still catch up before they get outside the gates.” He said, gently shoving her towards the door.

Hermione wouldn’t let go of his sleeve for a second but her fingers finally fell away and she offered a small nod before turning and rushing out the door to catch up with the others. Harry watched her go before glancing around the room again. He knew he should go and tell Professor McGonagall but she would probably stop him so instead he just slipped out of the room and headed towards Hagrid’s hut. Bodies were lined up with sheets laid over them off to the side so that the families could come and gather their loved ones. Harry swallowed back the desire to throw up and quickly looked away as he thought he saw a strand of red hair from under one and out towards where his friend’s home was…or at least used to be since it was nothing more than a pile of smoldering logs and debris.

The large man was sitting on a still smoking logs and wrapping a few of Grawp’s injuries. Seeing the man though, made Harry hesitate. He didn’t know if he was up to talking with Hagrid just yet. He just wanted to get out. He quickly pulled on his Invisibility cloak again and began walking towards the gates. He saw the crowd of redheads and Hermione gathering before suddenly disappearing and knew they were at St. Mugo’s. Glad that Fred would be safe there he started walking out and stopped just on the other side of the gates. He turned and looked back up at Hogwarts. His home, where so much had happened, both good and bad. Seeing it in shambles was almost as painful as thinking of those they had lost. He sighed and took a deep breath before turning. He held up his wand – never having let it go after the fight with Voldemort – and focused. The next moment he was gone and standing on the doorstep of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Harry glanced around the dark, deserted street before stepping into the house. It was his now after all. He kept his wand ready before closing the door behind him and using a locking charm on it. It was just as they had left it in that frantic flight from the Death Eaters. Silently walking past the covered portrait of Sirius’s mother he made his way into the kitchen.

“Kreacher?” he called, pulling off the hood of the invisibility cloak.

Instantly a pop sound came and the old house elf stood in front of him. There were a few scrapes and scratches on him but nothing serious. The memory of loosing Dobby resurfaced and he had to push it away of risk falling into a deeper depression.

“Master Harry is back! Sit master sit! Kreacher was worried that Master Harry wasn’t going to return.” The elf said as he hobbled closer and tried to usher him into a seat.

Harry shook his head and smiled weakly. “No, its okay Kreacher, really…I just didn’t know where else to go…but I do need you to do me a favor if you can.” He said softly.

Instantly the elf perked up and nodded seriously. “Anything Master Harry wants Kreacher can do.” He said solemnly.

Harry nodded again, his smile fading. “The others are going to be worried about me if they don’t know where I am…could you go to Hogwarts and tell Professor McGonagall that I’m staying here for the night?” he asked. “And please tell her I’m alright and that I just need some time alone…hopefully she’ll understand.”

“Right away Master Harry.” He said before taking a look over his owner and frowning. “Master Harry should rest. He is half dead after fighting the Dark Lord.”

The irony almost made Harry laugh and he nodded again. “That is what I planned on, Kreacher.”

“Then come with Kreacher. He cleaned all the rooms incase Master Harry came back and needed it.” The old elf said proudly, making Harry appreciate the help of the little creatures even more than before.

Harry followed the elf upstairs but instead of going into the room he had shared with Ron before he looked at the room that had once been his Godfather’s. He hesitated before reaching out and opening the door. The room was still very much Sirius’s with the Gryffindor paraphernalia on the walls and pictures of his parents with their friends, but it was now free of dust and the papers were all stacked neatly on the dresser. The sheets as well were clean and the smell of stale air had disappeared – probably from the elf opening the windows to let in clean air. Harry felt a tug on his heart and offered Kreacher a faint smile.

“I think I’d like to stay here, if that’s okay.” He said, relieved when Kreacher hesitated but nodded.

“As master wishes.” He nodded. “Kreacher will bring soup later for Master when he wakes up.” The small house-elf obviously still didn’t like Sirius, or the memories that came with him but he understood his new master’s love for the man and if nothing else decided to not argue it.

Harry nodded in agreement. “Thank you Kreacher. I’m going to take a bath then rest…if anyone comes can you tell them not to bother me unless it’s really important…and…is there a way for you to keep out people that I don’t want here?” he asked.

Kreacher nodded. “Yes Master Harry, Kreacher can keep people out if that is his order.” He said.

“Then please keep everyone out of the house unless they are an Order of the Phoenix member or if they are a friend.”

“Like Master Weasley or Lady Granger?”

Harry chuckled softly at the names and nodded. “Yes, like them. And please don’t let anyone come into my room unless I’m awake…” he really needed time alone to sort through everything and to get some rest.

Kreacher nodded. “Yes master. Kreacher will bring fresh towels to your bath, Master Harry.” He said before turning to quickly hobble away, leaving Harry to the room.

The dark haired teenager looked around once more; almost feeling like this was what it might look like when Sirius was alive before turning to the door off to the side that connected him to a private bath. It wasn’t as big as the Prefect’s bath at Hogwarts but it was a good size with polished silver finishes and white and black tiles that bore the crest of the Black family. Realizing how dirty he was and how much he must smell he quickly took off the Invisibility cloak and set it aside carefully before stripping off his torn and bloodied robes. He winced when a could of the gashes were pulled by peeling away the fabric from the wound, but it wasn’t too bad so he ignored it turned on the faucets to the inset tub and watched as bubbles and scented soap filled the bath before climbing in.

The hot water made his injuries sting a bit at coming into contact with them at first but soon the pain was soothed away and he was able to sink into the water with a content sigh as he let his head fall back against the side. Wishing that his memories would seep away as well he moved to grab some shampoo and soap before scrubbing, rinsing and re-scrubbing his body and hair. It took a while but once he was content with the level of cleanliness of his skin he finally stood and drained the tub, looking over and seeing that Kreacher had must have come and brought the towels without his noticing. He picked one up and quickly dried off before picking up the neatly folded underwear and pajamas that were set beside the towels on the shelf. He didn’t know where the elf had known his size or where he had gotten the clothes but he wasn’t going to argue. He pulled them on once he was dry then used a drying charm on his hair so it wouldn’t get his pillow wet. He set the dirty towel in the basket beside the door and blinked when it suddenly disappeared. He shrugged it off. It must instantly send the dirty laundry to Kreacher.

A large yawn caught Harry off guard and he suddenly realized just how exhausted he was and stumbled over to the bed. Slipping under the pulled back sheets and blanket he curled up and clutched one the pillows close to his chest. His thoughts were heavy and his mind oddly quiet without the fuzzy link to Voldemort but as his drained body realized that it could now safely rest, his eyes drooped closed and the next moment he was asleep.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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