Memories

Severus stares in to the fire barely tasting the alcohol he’s sipping. Memories clouding his view of the room he is in.
So many memories good and bad so many memories he would like to not have. Only when he is so maudlin does he wish to be someone else.
The first time he left Hogwarts he left with several monikers one of them being Malfoy’s Lapdog strictly speaking the most inaccurate of them all. Lucius…it’s a shame that not thinking about Lucius isn’t an option their lives have been tangled for so long. Both of them had been complicated children. Lucius being a Malfoy and Severus…Severus generally being himself. Son of a Pureblood witch, son of a Muggle man. When he was five the Half Blood Prince had been a playmate someone to share his secrets with when no one else was around being trapped between two worlds. The Half Blood Prince was someone who was stronger, better, smarter, someone Severus wanted to be and couldn’t. Only around his sixth did Severus realize that the Half Blood Prince wasn’t his imaginary friend any longer but was him and by then…by then everything was over and done anyway. All that being said it wasn’t like everyone remembered it because appearances are generally speaking deceiving. And Severus already was a very, very twisted little boy before coming to Hogwarts something which Lucius had sensed soon after laying eyes on the first year. Lucius had been fascinated and Severus suddenly had someone to play with.
And play they did Lucius had learned his healing spells before they came up in the curriculum. Hadn’t the blond done so Severus’s arms and legs would certainly have carried the testimony of their games years later. There might not even have been space for the Dark Mark. Sometimes being a wizard came in very handy indeed. It wasn’t the pain Severus was looking for it was the clarity of mind at the very last moment before the loss of blood makes him black out. Not a game to be played alone, not something to be played too often yet not something to be left alone. Besides there were always other games especially with age. They found other limits they could explore together the limits of pleasure and eventually the pleasures of pain to Lucius’s particular satisfaction. Lucius did love his pain and Severus didn’t see a problem with indulging the blond. That indulgence had cost him in the end of course not that much from one point of view and everything from another every truth in life is only a matter of perspective after all. When Lucius left school Severus had been forced to quit cold turkey. And that hadn’t gone over well as seen by the mess the Marauders involved him in. The last two years of schooling were centered on getting access to his addiction back and it showed. The Dark Mark was still faintly visible on his arm. Lucius had married and even had a child all the while getting further and further tangled in the political intrigues and half mad plans of one Lord Voldermort. And after leaving school Severus had no choice but to follow. Years later he can admit to being lead by his prick. Still even then follow was a strong word. Voldermort had wanted him even without Lucius’s introduction and with the knowledge that Severus was a half blood. It didn’t matter then, only now Severus knows why it didn’t matter. He didn’t think about any of that for a long time. All he cared about at that moment that he had Lucius back in his bed, in his arms screaming his name as the blonde’s body arched off the bed during orgasm. Lucius’s addiction to the pain Severus could give always stayed. It was Severus’s addiction to bloodletting that faded over time. Why waste your own precious blood when you could waste that of a nameless other? Drain it away in so many different ways gorge yourself on the life essence of another? At times Severus left the Dark Lord’s torture chambers drenched in the stuff trailing crimson and black all the way back to his chambers. Other times they preformed for their Lord and Lucius licked him clean getting drunk on the blood, as drunk as Severus got on the power.
That was when fucking Lucius lost it’s charm. Playing the Light against the Dark with nether of the o, so powerful leaders the wiser that became Severus’s new addiction in life. The power of a spy loyal to no one but himself. Yet another trap Severus willingly walks in too or so it seems. Then he thought it was a guarantee to be on the winning side. No one had expected Potter’s offspring to live and for the Dark Lord to disappear for eleven years leaving Severus bereft of his addiction again. No power, no Lucius who was busy with his new family, no blood. Those eleven years were very lean indeed the power over students no substitute for the power over history. Yet Severus being Severus he adjusted and sometimes the power over students was enough. A word here, a threat there and those pretty children’s tears flowed for him and him alone. No one ever told after all they couldn’t tell what they couldn’t remember never ones from his own House, never his little vipers but others were fair…game. Only when the Potter child came to school could Severus indulge again. Soon after that his wait was over and Voldermort was more then happy to take his servants back. That was when Severus saw Lucius again truly saw the man he had thought to have left behind.
In their years apart Lucius’s appetites has grown as well. The reunion wasn’t tender it was blood and sweat and tears. It was harsh restraints cutting in to pale flesh twisted as far as it could go. It was denial of release and denial of breath. It was the panic in Lucius’s eyes as he was slowly suffocated by Severus’s cock the blonde’s own cock leaking despite it all. All that shattered by Lucius’s pureblood arrogance which got him thrown in to Azkaban.
The rest of the war if a kaleidoscope of memories. The death of Dumbledore and the end of Voldermort two brilliant points in that mess burning bright. Both were more then satisfying. The power is still his all the power of being the one who knows where all the corpses are buries. Now despite everyone’s protestations the Potter child’s right hand man. Despite being a killer and traitor all that and more Severus has achieved. He is truly the Half Blood Prince of his corner of the Wizarding World. And with the power there come certain rewards.
The last of the alcohol slips down his throat as Severus rises out of his chair back in the land of the living once again. It is almost time to collect his present. He leaves his dungeons and heads out to the main hall knowing the Auror’s won’t dare to venture further in to his territory.
There his present from Potter is waiting. On it’s knees naked an collared beaten down by all the years of Azkaban but not broken. Severus is back at his original addiction once again. Lucius is his now fully and completely and it’s Severus’s job to break the former aristocrat. Whatever it takes as long as the blond won’t be a threat to Potter ever again. To break, to own and to hold.
A final memory breaks lose as Severus reaches out for the leash. Two boys in a bed late at night sated after play the blond whispering in the dark haired boy’s ear his darkest desires. Severus reflects as he jerks the leash that Lucius finally has what he had wanted all those years ago. And as his slave looks up Severus also knows that knowledge is shared.