The Cold

The Cold
By Rave_XTM


Chapter I

Stumbling down the stairs, he wanted to know. He was sick of it. Sick and tired. Always wondering.
He was so cold. Always so cold.
And lonely.
Just to much. It hurt to much.
So, he decided to end it.
Tonight.
It would be all or nothing.
Just a spell.
One spell.

It did take quite a lot courage though.
Not performing the spell, or the possible end of all things.
No, the difficulty here lay within the fact the final decision was not up to him. That was up to his father.
He missed a step and almost fell, he felt lightheaded already.

God, sometimes things would go so fast.

He knew the most difficult moment had yet to come; confronting his father.
The door of the library was opened. As always when his father occupied it. Quite steady he reached it. And entered.
There he was. The silky white glowed slightly in the evening sun. Half the library away. It seemed like miles now.
He took about five steps closer.
Cleared his throat.
No reaction. Of course.

“Father”, it came out in a hazy voice, as if he was forcing it out.

A soft hum, which meant his presence was acknowledged.
Nothing more. Nothing less. He did not even look up from whatever he was reading. Not that he had expected that.
He gave him a chance anyway. His father must have heard something in his voice. Just a few seconds, to process it. To realize nothing would come after that word. Not that Draco had any idea whatsoever to say next.
No reaction.

God, this enraged him beyond limits. Did the man ever had his attention on someone else besides himself?
Well, he was about to find out.

It came out in a whisper. In a voice Draco did not recognize himself. Something he would have never said in any other circumstance. Including that heavy word everyone always makes a fuss over. He had never used it before, the word he thought he had never knew the meaning of.

“Do... do you love me... dad?”

Draco saw him freeze. He even held his breath. After moments, which seemed like hours, he slowly turned around. Slowly.
Looked at him. Straight in the eye.
He did see something was off now. At least.

He could probably read Draco like an open book.
Oh, he would be so disappointed.
He probably would be dishonored as Malfoy heir.
But it did not matter anymore. To hell with all the Malfoy Attitude. He had thrown his mask away. He was sick of it.
Sick and tired.
He wanted to know now.
And of course, he would use a typical Malfoy way to find out.

“Draco... what is wrong?”

It sounded like music to his ears. Not just the voice. Not only what he said. He was speaking directly towards Draco, and not to lecture him or teach him manners. It sounded... sincere.

Draco opened his mouth to speak, but he didn’t know what to say. Slowly, he saw Lucius rise from his chair.
A lock of his silver hair falling in his face.

God, how badly he wanted to reach out and brush it out of his face.
Comb his fingers through that hair. He did not even knew how that felt. He assumed like his, only... better.

He stood.
He wore no robes, only a black pants and a dark green silk shirt, caressing all the nude skin underneath.

“Answer me”. There was the demanding tone again.

“No. You answer me”. He surprised himself by the strength of those words.

Lucius walked up to him, slowly. Slightly reaching out with his right hand. He was nowhere near enough to touch Draco, but he seemed to feel something anyway.

Magic. It probably was magic. He is a powerful wizard after all. His eyes widened a little and he froze again.

“Draco...” merely a whisper.
“What-“ not a whisper anymore.
“-have you done?!”, the raised voice this time. It hurt Draco like knives stabbing through his heart.

Well, at least he had his fathers attention.

Within four long strides he was standing before Draco, half an arm length away.

“What have you done?!” Louder again, threatening, grabbing Draco’s shoulders roughly and slammed his back against the near bookcase.

Draco failed miserably at holding up any kind of mask, wall or whatever.

“I only want to know if you love me as much as I love you”. A small voice. He was not sure whether or not he felt a tightness in his throat making it hard to talk or swallow.

His hand trembled, he so badly wanted to touch the man standing only inches away, radiating off heat. The hands on his shoulders nearly burned him. But this time, Draco thought, I would all come from Lucius.
All of it.
Or nothing.

Still, Lucius had his intense gaze fixed upon him. Draco still could not read it. Not even the anger. If it was not from his outburst a few seconds ago, no one would consider Lucius Malfoy angry. Well, maybe his features gave away something. His brows, slightly more frown than normal. His lower lip, slightly more pursed than normal, just a little bit.

God, how badly Draco wanted to seize that lover lip between his teeth and run his tongue over it.

“How long?” A simple question.

He seemed to understand.

“Until midnight” A simple answer.

About one and a half hour.

“And what exactly do you – expect from me?” Just to make sure.

“I want you to – show me how - “ This was harder than it seemed.

Lucius’ gaze was still fixed on his.

He wants me to say it.

He takes a deep breath.

Here goes all or nothing.

“I want you to show me love. To show me that you love me. I want you- “

He didn’t know how to go on. If he could go on.

Another deep breath.

“I want you”.

It doesn’t really matter if he refuses me. I’ll be dead soon anyway.

He didn’t really believe himself though.

Moments stretched. Oh god please... say something. Do something. Until Lucius moved. His iron grip loosened. One hand slowly moved to the back of his neck. Kiss me, gods, please, kiss me. The intense gaze still held his.

He had been frightened of his father a lot of times, but he had never felt this kind of fear. He was sure his heart had stopped beating.

Lucius’ head bowed closer to his, since his father is slightly longer than himself. Closer... Draco wished so badly he could close his eyes.

Lucius, however, seemed to have different plans with him. He brought his lips close to Draco’s ear, close enough to barely touch.

“Do you have any idea what you are asking for? I do not do half measures. It is all or nothing Draco, all or nothing”.

A voice just above a whisper, sounding threatening non the less.

Draco would have claimed to have had erotic experiences before. Blow jobs in the halls in Hogwarts, taking boys, being taken by boys, in the Astronomy Tower, in the Forbidden Forrest, nearby the lake, in the common room, but he took it all back. That was not erotic. Thís is erotic. Utterly erotic. Mind blowing. And Lucius had not even begun yet.

“Is that what you want... Draco? You want me to mark you, make you mine? Take more than you can bare? Making you scream, make you beg for mercy, break you?” His lips whispered against Draco’s ear, causing him to shiver, his knees nearly gave out.

He wanted to say yes. Yes. Yes, this is what I want. This. You. Forever. His voice however, failed him. So he nodded. Franticly.

“Say it”. A little more threatening.

“I... want... you”, he breathed, forcing the words out.

Then, Lucius moved again, taking Draco’s mouth in his, discovering every calve, savoring the taste. Making it last for hours, yet pulling away all to soon.

He pulled back slightly, looking Draco in the eyes again. Searching for something. Apparently he found it, as he pulled Draco close, pulling him away from the bookcase, encircling his waist with one arm, yet not kissing him. Giving Draco the chance to do that.

And Draco took the chance. He so long wanted to do just this. Pressing his lips against Lucius', his hands roaming at the small of his back, pressing as much from himself against Lucius. Suddenly he felt an unpleasant sensation of being squeezed through a small tube, a sensation he had only felt once before. He snapped his eyes open, pulling away from the kiss.

He blinked. And blinked again.

Let out a breath he didn't know he held.

'Oh god'.

They had just Apparated. To the master bedroom. They had Apparated in the master bedroom.

Lucius' bedroom.

'Oh god'. He opened his mouth to say something.

His gaze caught Lucius' again, and was scared and overwhelmed by the intensity of it. Lucius made pretty sure Draco knew he had no say in this anymore whatsoever. He slowly took out his wand from his sleeve.

'Oh god'. Words failed him. Not that he had any idea whatsoever to say anyway.

Lucius' eyes narrowed just a little bit.

'Oh god'. His heart beat faster than ever, his breathing fast and shallow.

With a flick of Lucius' wand, he felt his clothing disappear.

'Oh hell'. He suddenly was wondering is he had bitten of more than he could chew. Hell, he knew he did. He knew even before Lucius told him that.

Lucius took a step back, laying his wand on his nightstand, only to take a step standing before Draco again. His slender fingers moving to undo the blouse he was wearing. Lucius's gaze kept holding Draco's.

'Oh god oh hell'

After revealing pale flesh inch by inch, he slid the shirt to the floor, letting his eyes linger down Draco's form, giving Draco the opportunity to admire his body.

And gods, admiring it he did. Muscled, slim, pale. He was in such a shape, you'd say he was no older than 30.

“On the bed”, Lucius said.

'Oh hell'

***