She Wondered

She wondered what to do.

Hermione had become the go-between between one Severus Snape and The Order of the Phoenix. Caught tight in this particular web, she felt for both sides, the side that mourned the loss of Albus Dumbledore... and the side that mourned the loss of Albus Dumbledore.

Closing her eyes, she turned and Apparated to Spinner's End hoping to find her Death Eater contact, Severus Snape, in residence.

The house was silent. She walked through all of it, from the basement potions laboratory to the upstairs with its sad bedrooms. She even explored the miserable loo outside with its half-moon door sagging dolefully. No sign of Snape.

Hermione went into the living room cum library and sat on the ancient sofa with its springs poking into her arse. She had to wait for him and hope that no other Death Eater, perhaps Wormtail, showed up at the dilapidated house.

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She was drowsing. A sharp clap of Apparation wakened her and she opened her eyes and whipped out her wand. Severus Snape stood before her.

He was a wreck of the man that she had last seen in the Potions classroom. His pallor had become gray and his hands had a decided tremor to them.

"What do you want?" he asked, sneering at her, half-heartedly.

"Severus," she replied.

"How dare you!" he exclaimed, dragging his wand out to point it at her.

"Enough," she said. "I have no grudge against you, I know you did what..." she exhaled in a gusty sigh, "...what you had to do."

He looked at her, raising one eyebrow, even as his usually impeccable posture slumped further towards resignation.

"Severus," she said again. "I am no longer your student, no longer a student of Hogwarts for two years now. Relax. I shan't hex you into oblivion."

He sagged even further, his exacting posture lost in the weight he had been carrying on his slim shoulders for too long.

"Granger," he exhaled. "What do you want?"

"Only an end to this war, Severus. Can you help me with that?"

The beleaguered man, obviously victim to Crutiatus this evening sighed.

She patted the cushion of the sofa beside her, indicating that he should sit, preferably before he collapsed. Snape sat.

"Severus, how do you go on this way? You are the strongest person I have ever seen to take this continuous torture, yet continue to provide us with information."

He glared at her, feebly, and turned away, collapsing even further into himself.

"How do you do it?" she asked, her eyes tearing up at seeing her teacher, her mentor, her comrade-in-arms brought so low.

"I don't know," he murmured, drawing his bony knees up to his chest and sliding further into a fetal position.

"How can you... how can you live with the loss of Albus and continue this charade?"

She saw his shoulder quiver and laid a comforting hand on one, still mystified at his strength... and the fact that he could reveal his weakness to her. Leaning into him, she wrapped her body around his and gently pulled him into her arms, cradling him like a child or like the Pietà, seeing a man at the end of his long rope.

Hermione cradled him in her arms and kissed his forehead, willing her strength into him. He reached up and cradled her cheek with his shaking hand, drawing her face down to his, to cause lips to meet and mesh.

Like a lightening strike, a fierce desire was kindled in both. She looked down at him, and saw his masculine response.

Not seeking release for herself, she lowered the shaking man onto the sofa and knelt before him. She fondled the beginnings of his erection with her palm and undid his trousers, freeing him.

Hermione's lips kissed his turgid, red tip and elicited a gasp from Snape.

"No, you don't..." he protested weakly.

In response she drew him deeper into her mouth, licking and caressing his shaft. Tasting him, fully tasting him as he had never been tasted before. With affection and... love.

His hips bucked in response, gagging her slightly. She extended her arm to hold him in place as she suckled his penis. He sighed and gasped in response to her tongue.

She paused, then kissed her way up his chest, licking and nipping his nipples, causing him to gasp and twitch... and pull her head more tightly to his chest.

Severus opened his bleary eyes to look at her. Their eyes met and she answered his unspoken question...

"Because I am here, because you suffer more than you should, because, oh, because, I love you," the last said in a faint whisper. She had seen what had happened to him, for killing Dumbledore, his only friend and confidant. She had seen his torn heart shatter and longed to heal him.

She didn't know if she could, but she would try. It was the least she could do.

Her questing lips returned to his penis, and enveloped him, then kissed her way down his shaft. She cradled his balls in her hand and took one, then the other into her mouth, illiciting a gasp from the broken man.

"Because I am here," she reaffirmed, sucking strongly again on his hardness, her hands fondling his scrotum. "Because I am here."

Responding to her ministration, in spite of himself, he felt orgasm approaching.

"Hermione, I'm..." he warned.

She swallowed him even further as he came, sucking up every last drop of his cum. She gently licked at him, cleaning him until he came down from orgasm.

Licking the last drop from his penis, she looked up at him. He could barely meet her eyes. She stood and helped him stand.

Gently guiding him, they went up to his bedroom. She peeled back the comforter and sheets, easing him into bed. She followed and cradled him again, allowing him a peaceful night's rest.


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A/N Thank you for reading, had a bit of Angst H/C I had to get out of my system. The prompting for this story was the concept of "How does Snape handle the guilt of killing Dumbledore. Once again, thanks for making it this far.