Have Faith

At a glance: [DH]. "Do you know what 'Malfoi' means, Potter?". ONESHOT


Disclaimer: HP and all characters do not belong to me.
Summary: This story is a bit AU. Dumbledore is still alive. Harry is 17 as well as Draco (final year) And yeah, this is the story between Harry and Malfoy. Maybe a bit OOC, but I don't think so. Not much anyway.
Author's note: Finsihed this in one night. Damn i seriously need more inspirations like this. ENJOY!

WARNING: D x H. Very subtle shounen-ai. No danger. Don't like don't read. Thank you.

Have Faith by meEksiNs
09012006.


This was it. THIS WAS IT. There was no turning back, as much as he'd like to NOT go into war that was totally out of his hands now. Because in reality they were in fact already in a war. An unseen one but one that is most definitely real. People were dying here and there, Dark Marks in their eeirie green glory marking night skies, Death eaters making more and more bold and malicious appearances and Dementors going off in support of Voldermort. Hell, it was only a matter of time when Voldermort will actually make an appearance himself and maybe even declare war officially in Hogwarts itself if he even dare. Hell, who was he kidding? Ofcourse, he would dare. He'd become stronger like he had never been before not even when Harry was an infant and casted that curse on his mother.

These thoughts conquered Harry's mind as he vaguely heard the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, make a speech most of it talking nonsense as per usual but it was clear to everyone that his usual spark and humour was pretty much dimmed tonight making everyone tense and uneasy. Of course, the uneasy atmosphere could also be because the famous Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was there sitting beside the Headmaster instead of the Vice-headmistress, Professor McGonagoll, his Head of House. Everyone knows that no student has ever sat at the table where all the professors sat much less beside the Headmaster. Everyone saw this as a sign. A very very bad sign especially since everyone of the professors, and Argus Flinch who was also present at the table, wore very grim and serious expressions. Even the Headmaster as he now plunge into the more serious parts of his speech.

During all this time, Harry had closed his eyes, not wanting to see his friends, his colleages, all of Hogwart's students, everyone, of their expressions. He knew what would be there, written so clearly on each and everyone of their faces anyway. All would be varied and different but he knew one expression, one emotion that everyone would have in their eyes, in their faces and the unseen in their hearts.
Fear.

Fear of pain, fear of death, fear of loss. Fear that all comes down to one. Voldermort.

Harry clenched his fist so tightly he could feel a drop of blood trailing down his palm. Yes, Harry refused to open his eyes and see everyone's fear in their eyes because he was afraid that he could not, would not, will NEVER overcome his own fear. His own fear that he can't do this. This war that ultimately depended on him. To hell with prophecy. Harry clenched his jaw and forced himself to breathe calmly. He knew that he was being selfish and he knew that it was wrong but it all comes down to him killing off another human being, evil, yes, but it was murder. Murder is murder no matter how you look at it. He supposed that since everyone expects him to kill Voldermort and make sure he stays dead this time, it was not murder. Hell, he couldn't kill a damn fly even if it pissed the hell off him. Make it shudder and convulse in pain maybe, yes, but even when he was forced to do so he will never kill it off. Dammit, look at the time when he tried to do the Forbidden Killing curse when he was training with Dumblefore himself. It was a total failure, not once but over a hundred times. Dumbledore had said that he was too soft and pure inside the reason why Harry had a hard time conjuring the Killing curse. Harry was not sure coming from Dumbledore whether that was a good or bad thing. But how the hell is he going to send Voldermort in his damn grave if he didn't know how to throw the Killing curse?

Head pounding, Harry refused to hold one hand on his temple to ease the pounding. In fact, he refused to do much of anything except sit there rigidly, eyes closed and let Dumbledore's voice and his explaination of current events and what was to come wash over him.

All of a sudden, a schene replayed itself back in his mind.

-FLASHBACK-

SMACK

"OW! Hell, what the heck was that for?", Harry rubbed the back of his head, still feeling the pain very sharply.

He threw a very annoyed glare at the one sitting beside him.

Draco Malfoy, an unexpected and new found friend, gave him one his own annoyed glares.

"Stop thinking. It's annoying".

"WHAT?!", said Harry, incredulous. Only Malfoy would say anything like that. "How am I suppose to study and get this damn question answered if I'm not thinking?".

They were revising their Potions assignment together or rather Draco Malfoy was tutoring him in Potions for NEWTS as assigned by Severus Snape who had put in the idea into him by Dumbledore but in reality it was in fact, Harry who had decided to choose Malfoy as his Potions tutor, all of which Malfoy was not aware of.

Malfoy gave out an irritated sigh and muttered something like 'idiot gryffindor'.

"Potter, do NOT be stupid, although I suppose you cannot help yourself", said Malfoy dryly. Before Harry could lash out, Malfoy said pointedly. "You were thinking dark thoughts, Potter. Stop it".

Taken aback and absolutely not expecting that, Harry just stared at Malfoy dumbfounded. How is it that everytime he thinks of something, the damn git knew?! Did he read his mind?! He knew Legislimens?!

Malfoy almost rolled his eyes but since Malfoys do NOT lower themselves to rolling their eyes, he settled on rolling his eyes upwards as if praying for patience instead then looked at him almost patiently as if talking to the intellectually challenged.

"No, I did not read your mind. I don't do mind magic either", said Malfoy, creeping the hell out of Harry. Malfoy then pointed something on the paper that Harry was currenly attempting to answer some revision questions on Potions.

The word 'Voldermort' was written clearly on one of his Potion's questions answers blanks followed by 'Kill' 'How' 'Bastard'.

Harry could feel the heat of embaressment rushing up to his face.

Malfoy smirked and raised an eyebrow slightly. "Doesn't take a genius or a mind reader to know what you were thinking, Pot-Head".

"Shut up", said Harry snappishly, clearly still embaressed as he hastily erased the words with a spell.

Malfoy snickered. When Harry refused to say anything and pretended to be immersed in his revision, ignoring him, Malfoy let it drop and let him be.

One hour and a very productive revision later.

Harry was about to leave when Malfoy spoke up softly.

"Potter?".

Tensed but Harry turned to look at him, questioningly.

Malfoy was looking at him strangely as if trying to say something but was not sure of how to put it. Finally, Malfoy said abruptly.

"Do you know what 'Malfoi' means, Potter?"

Harry blinked. Whatever he was expecting it wasn't that. He wasn't sure where Malfoy was headed with this but he sensed that it was important.

"It means 'Bad Faith'".

Harry raised his eyebrows slightly. He wasn't surprised.

"Do you know how my ancestors come to have that name? Do you know why they were given the name?".

Harry shook his head as expected.

Malfoy gave a small smirk but continued, "No, of course not. But that's another story for another day. The point I am trying to put across, Potter, is for you to have faith in yourself".

Again, Harry was taken aback by this and he was still not sure what Malfoy was talking about.

His confused expression must have shown on his face because Malfoy said abruptly. "Potter, you are powerful, you are brave and despite what I may say numerous times you are certainly intelligent enough for a gryffindor (Harry bristled at this). What you are NOT is your own faith. You have NO faith at all towards yourself. Courage does not equal non-existence of fear, Potter".

Harry was about to interrupt and protest very vehemently but Malfoy cut him short. "Stop it, Potter", said Malfoy, for the third time that night. "Your fear is conquering your mind thus shadowing your heart. You have bad faith towards yourself, Potter. No matter how powerful you are, how brave you are, how intelligent you are, you cannot win if you cannot defeat yourself first".

Abruptly, Malfoy stood up, collected his things and exited the empty classroom.

Harry was left to stand in the classroom alone.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

Almost jerking himself from his seat at the suddenly appearence of the flashback which had occured sometime ago in his early start of a friendship of sorts with Malfoy, he caught himself before making any sudden moves. He did, however, start to breathe more normally now and feeling a bit more calm.

He frowned inwardly at the flashback wondering how Malfoy had understood him so well even when they were then not really very close unlike they were now.

Faith, Harry whispered inwardly, reminding himself as he could hear Dumbledore vaguely sensing that it was very nearly his turn.

Harry's heart constricted at the thought of Malfoy, now a precious friend and his enemy in this war.

".... and now we will have Harry Potter speak", said Albus Dumbledore, clearly ending his turn of his speech handing it over to him.

Harry opened his eyes then, which immediately adjusted to the slight dim of lights in the Dining Hall and stood up.

Dumbledore stepped aside and stood just slightly beside him as Harry took over Dumbledore's previous stand and for the first time that night looked up and over at the sea of faces in the Dining Hall. His gaze swept over the overridden fear on each and everyone of the Hufflepuffs, the overwhelming uneasiness on the Ravenclaws, the anxious and undecided expressions on the Gryffindors and the deathly silence on the reduced number of Slytherins. Harry's heart clenched even more when his eyes automatically seeked Malfoy for at the Slytherin's side only to find his usual seat empty.

'Stop it, Potter. You know the war is inevitable. I am your enemy and you are mine', flashed the voice of Draco Malfoy before he disappeared a week ago.

A suspicious tear tried to block his throat but Harry swallowed and cleared his throat, banishing Draco Malfoy from his mind.

Standing tall, looking everyone straight in the eye, Harry said quietly his voice amplified by the silence in the room.

"We, myself, Professor Dumbledore and everyone at this High Table are members of the Light Side", Harry said, gesturing his arms widely at both of his sides towards all of the staff of Hogwarts.

Harry paused and looked at the tensed, the nervous and the expectant expressions on each and everyone of their faces.

"Professor Dumbledore has arranged a train back home tomorrow for all of you who are supporters of the Other side", said Harry, carefully with a blank expression choosing his words carefully.

Silence still reigned the hall. The atmosphere, however, was becoming heavier and tenser.

"So, the question remains".

A heavy pause.

"Which side are you?".

A moment of silence then like a wave murmurs, sobs, frightened screams and shouts circulated around the room.

Harry held out his hand silently telling the agitated Professors at the table to let the students be. At that, no one made a move.

-FLASHBACK-

'Which side are you, Malfoy?', he asked Malfoy.

A smirk and a slight raise of an eyebrow. 'Surely you know the answer to that question, Potter'.

'Answer me, Malfoy!'.

Silence.

Harry grew alarmed although by rights he shouldn't have.

'But you don't have the Mark!'.

'Why, Potter. I have never realised you watch me so closely'.

Harry bit his lips even as blood rushed to his face. He did not contradict Malfoy's claim.

Malfoy stepped closer towards Harry, lifting his arm and revealing it to him. Harry, knowing that it was unmarked, only saw the beautiful pale skin that only Malfoy had.

'Yes, I don't have the mark'.

'Then..'.

'Not here'.

Harry could only stare at him.

'Give me your hand, Potter'.

'Wha..'

'Potter'.

Harry obediantly held out his hand. Malfoy gently held Harry's hand in one hand and the other slowly opening his robes.

'Malfoy!', said Harry mortified and severely red in the face now as he tired to pull his hand back but Malfoy grabbed hold of his hand in a vice grip as if expecting this very reaction.

'I am not going to molest you , Potter', said Malfoy, amusement clearly written on his face.

'O..Oh', stuttered Harry, still red in the face, not sure whether he trusted Malfoy, but stopped jerking his hand away from him anyway.

Harry stopped doing whatever altogether except stare at the small smile that was now on Malfoy's face. He had never even ONCE seen Malfoy smile, one that didn't have any malicious intent in it. It was ... beautiful and altogether made Malfoy's face gentle, if that was possible.

Harry then realised that he was touching soft fabric and something was .. something was pulsing underneath it. It was then that he realised that he was touching the soft fabric of Malfoy's shirt, at the chest region where his heart was. A pulsing rhythm was there undeniably but.. but there was also something else. The feeling tingled and the same feeling suddenly shot through his scar.

Harry gasped and pulled back his hand away from Malfoy as if burnt.

'You felt it, didn't you, Potter?', said Malfoy almost in a whisper.

Harry swallowed and refused to let something that suspiciously felt like tears fill his eyes.

Malfoy's hands swiftly unbuttoned some upper half of the buttons on his buttoned down shirt and slowly as if in slow motion, he revealed the Mark tatooted precisely where his heart was beating.

Harry didn't say anything as Malfoy swiftly buttoned up his shirt and pulled his robes back together in place.

Malfoy turned and walked quickly away but Harry stopped him. 'Malfoy, wait! I...'.

Malfoy turned around and said abruptly in his cold voice, the voice he used before they became friends. 'Stop it, Potter. You know the war is inevitable. I am your enemy and you are mine'.

With that, Harry had not seen Malfoy since.

- END OF FLASHBACK-

Harry didn't realise that he had closed his eyes until he opened them and saw the Great Hall doors which was previously closed now opening very slowly. The Dining Hall was still in chaos with shouts, screams, sobs and cries filling the air. No one seemed to have notice that someone had slipped easily into the Hall, closing the doors behind.

Harry stared at the cloaked stranger. The stranger was leaning against the door, arms crossed across his chest as if he had a right to be there. The stance was so familiar that he knew immediately that this was no stranger.

But what was he doing here? His heart beat with restored vigour. What was he doing here?

Before he knew it, Harry shouted for silence in the Hall.

Everything and everyone stilled. Silence once again filled the Hall.

Harry stared at the figure leaning casually against the doors. Harry tried in vain attempting to answer his own question. What was he doing here?

When it was clear that Harry was not going to say anything murmurs were starting to escalate when it was clear that Harry was not going to say anything.

Harry was suddenly startled when he found himself staring at a pair of familiar grey eyes underneath the cloak. He could also see the faint smirk hidden by the shadow of the cloak. Harry could also almost see the slight raise of one eyebrow giving him that look.

'Stop thinking. It's annoying'. Harry could hear him almost say.

Harry continued to stare, almost as if waiting for him to say something.

It felt like eternity when he moved.

He had moved his hand and was now touching his heart.

Harry's eyes widened slightly in confusion. Why was he touching his heart? He knew that the Mark was there and that he was undeniably a Death Eater then why..

A sharp glare from grey eyes held his attention.

It was then that he realised the meaning of what he had tried to say all this time.

'Do you know what 'Malfoi' means, Potter?'

"Harry?", said Dumbledore, almost cautiously from his side. "Are you alright?".

Harry who was a bit startled by the Headmaster jerked his body slightly back but did not break his eye contact with grey eyes.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine", Harry broke his eye contact with him and turned to the Headmaster with a nod before facing the now nosiy hall and cleared his throat.

Silence fell back slowly but surely and now complete silence.

"Students who support the Other side must proceed immediately to the train station immediately after sun rises. Light supporters will remain in Hogwarts".

Hushed whispers filled the Hall.

Green eyes clashed with grey once more.

"I, Harry James Potter, as the one who will destroy Lord Voldermort here by officially declare war on the Dark side".

Harry didn't notice the ultimate chaos that his declaration had bring. He didn't even notice all the professors surging forth to put some order into the chaos. He didn't notice Dumbledore shaking his head sadly. He didn't notice much of anything except the person who now had stopped leaning against the door and was now standing up straight.

The familiar smirk that Harry now sorely missed flashed before the head dipped in a slight bow as if paying his respects. Blonde hair that had managed to escape from the confines of the hood of the cloak fell down brushing slightly on his forehead as he bowed, obstructing the view of grey. Then abruptly, in a swirl of his cloak, the doors opened and closed.

Draco Malfoy has disappeared once again.

-FLASHBACK-

'Malfoy?', said a timid voice.

'Hm'.

'Can I call you Draco?'.

A pause.

An abrupt. 'No'.

A pause.

'Why not?', hurt lined the voice.

'It's too intimate'. Another abrupt response.

An undecided pause.

'Uh. Intimate?'. clearly clueless or just misunderstood.

A sigh but amused. 'I didn't mean the lover's kind of intimate, Pot-Head'.

A long silent pause.

'You look very nice in red, Potter'.

'Shut up!'. clearly embarressed, still red from his misunderstanding. 'And my name is Harry not Pot-Head'.

A pause.

'Call me Harry'.

No answer.

'Why don't you want to call me Harry?', again hurt lined the voice.

'It's too initmate'. Again the same response.

A slight pause.

'No one calls me Draco unless I allow them to'.

A pause.

'But Parkinson and Zabini calls you Draco. Even Snape! Are you intimate with them then?!'.

An amused air of silence. 'Careful, Potter. I almost thought that for a second there you were jealous'.

'Wha..what?'. Sputtered.

'Hn'. silent contemplation. 'You blush rather prettily, Potter. No wonder I like to tease you'.

'MALFOY!'.

Chuckles softly. 'Cease your jealousy, Pot-Head. I will only allow very close friends to call my first name'.

Silence that stretches.

'Oh, for goodness sake, Potter. You are a good friend'.

Silence.

'Isn't that enough?'.

Silence.

Mutter mutter.

'What was that, Potter?'.

Silence.

'Nothing'.

Slight eyebrow raised. Clearly disbelieving.

Green eyes avert from grey.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

'Malfoy?'. That timid voice was back again.

'Hn'.

'Do.. do you think we can stay friends forever?'.

A pause.

'You do realise that we are mortal, don't you?'. Dry response.

'MALFOY! I am serious!'.

Chuckles softly. 'I know, Potter. I know".

A thoughtful pause.

'I don't see why not'.

Silence.

'You look relieved, Potter. Does my friendship mean a lot to you?'.

No answer but his body language was answer enough.

Twitch. A smile threatened to appear. 'I'll tell you something, Potter'.

Green eyes turned back towards grey. Curious.

The twitch was still there. 'Do you still remember what Malfoi means?'.

Eyebrows scrunched up together in an effort to remember.

The other almost rolled his eyes at the other's lack of memory.

'It means.. bad faith, right?'.

'Correct'.

'What does that have to do with anything?'.

'Everything'.

'What?'. Confused. 'Can you for once make sense? I can never seem to understand you'.

Patiently. 'If you understand what it means, then you will gain everything'.

Stare.

'Have faith, Potter. That is all I can say'.

Silence.

'You are weird'.

A smirk but no reply.

Silence.

'Malfoy?'.

'Hn'.

'Uh.. when you said I will gain everything, does that does that include..'.

The twitch was there again. 'Yes, Potter. That includes forever and I'll call you whatever you like and you have my permission'.

Silence.

'Potter, you are positively glowing'.

For once Harry didn't tell him to shut up. He knew that Draco will keep to his promise.

-FLASHBACK-

Harry smiled for the first time in a long time as he stepped down and away from the High table, ignoring the chaos still conquering the Hall. He sat down at his usual place at the Gryffindor table, ignoring Hermione's yells for order and Ron's shouts of 'shut the hell up'.

Harry had a reason to smile.

After all, he had just figured out what Draco Malfoy had tried to convey to him months ago.

'Do you know what Malfoi means?'.

Previously then, he didn't.

He did now.

He had faith in Draco and now himself.

He was not afraid anymore because he knows that he'll be there.

'Yes, Potter. That includes forever'.

The next time they meet, undoubtedly on the battle field, he was sure to tell Draco that he understood.

-END-

Author's note: This ONESHOT is actually inspired by my DM/HP or HP/DM fic which is still in process inside my brain. I have yet to put it into words.

Hope you enjoyed the fic. It was meant to be a bit vague. No actual actions or shounen ai but I love hints. lol.

Later, and thank you for reading my fic.