Isolation

Disclaimer: Nope, still do not own HP and Co.

A/N: This is from Harry's POV. There is a suicide warning. Unbetaed as of yet and feedback is more than welcome (please!). If you intend to flame, however, do not waste both of our time.

ETA: Now betaed!
Isolation

It is all over; Voldemort is dead. My original feeling of elation that the Wizarding world has now been freed has worn off. All I feel now is a great emptiness. My usefulness in this world is gone and what do I have to show for it? My parents, Sirius, Dumbledore and many others have died trying to keep me alive. Loved ones that survived the war wish to pretend that I no longer exist. In a way I can understand this; it’s less painful when you do not have a constant reminder nearby.

At first I used to believe that Ron and Hermione were just too busy planning their wedding and their futures to owl me. Then their wedding came and went without my receiving an invitation to it. I had to find out by reading about it in the Daily Prophet. That week my hurt was drowned in several bottles of Firewhiskey.

When I finally became sober once more, the hurt turned into the emptiness that has overcome me these last ten months. An emptiness that could not be filled with anything or anyone. As much as I used to hate the adulation I received before I defeated Voldemort, I would kill to have an ounce of that attention once more. It would be better than this nothingness that is currently my life.

Staring at the vial I procured in Knockturn Alley, I laugh bitterly. I suppose killing is what it has come to after all. I never thought that I would have the nerve to end it this way, but I believe this is a more humane way of dying. Merlin knows this void that has become my life is cruelly and slowly pushing me to the grave. This is it; one last time to pull together my famous Gryffindor courage.

I only hope that in death I can finally find the happiness I truly seek.