Best Left Forgotten

Title: Best Left Forgotten
Pairing: Neville/Harry
Rated: NC-17
Summary: Lupin unexpectedly finds a way to fix Neville\'s memory, and they find Harry has been brutally taking advantage of him.Written for the Woobies of Destiny Fuh-q fest challenge #79.
Warnings: non-con
A/N: Much much much thanks to ldybastet for a wonderful beta!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter & co. are owned by JKR and other various copyright holders. This is for entertainment purposes only; no money is being exchanged.

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Neville woke with a stretch, and frowned. He was aching again - all over. His hips and groin ached, his back, his throat... and he was naked again. He hadn't been, when he crawled into bed the night before... Rolling onto his side, he pushed himself into a sitting position, and looked at his upper arm. There was bruising on his left shoulder.

Shaken, he looked around for his clothes and hastily dressed. This had been going on far too long; it was time Neville did something about it.

----

\"Ehm, excuse me... Professor?\"

Remus Lupin looked up from the third-year essays he was marking. \"Neville, hello. This is a surprise. Please, come have a seat.\"

Hesitantly closing the door behind himself, Neville stepped into the office of the current Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

\"What can I do for you today, Neville?\"

Taking a deep breath, Neville said \"I think I\'m cursed, Professor.\"

Lupin lay down his quill. \"Cursed? How, Neville? What makes you believe so?\"

This was hard to talk about. He hadn\'t been able to go to any of his friends, as worried as he had been about what had been happening to him. Professor McGonagall, his Head of House, was even more so out of the question. Trying to will away his blush, Neville began telling his story.

\"Well, you see, Professor, it all started shortly after the beginning of the term...\"

----

Neville had to admit it; he did feel better after speaking with Professor Lupin about his worries. They\'d talked through lunch, sandwiches and pumpkin juice having been brought to Lupin\'s office, and though Neville was still worried, the knots in his chest and stomach had loosened somewhat.

Knowing that he would have someone to confide in, someone to turn to when he needed to talk and couldn\'t talk to his friends, Neville was able to keep his mind on his classes. He was quite pleased with himself that he didn\'t blow up a cauldron in Potions class, although the success of his potion was another matter, entirely.

----

They planned it, I\'d bet anything, Neville thought to himself as he dragged his book bag behind him into the Gryffindor Common room. Three pop quizzes in one day! He was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep - he\'d do his homework after dinner; right now, he needed a nap, even if it was just a quick one.

It had been about three weeks since his last \'episode\', as he had taken to calling them, after he had begun talking with Professor Lupin. His concentration in class was better, now that he wasn\'t in a constant state of worry.
He dragged his bag up the stairs to the dormitory, loosening his scarlet and gold tie on the way up. Leaving his bag on the floor next to his bed, Neville toed off his shoes, took off his robes, and flopped unceremoniously into bed, eyes slipping closed as he let out a grateful sigh.

Just a quick nap...

\"Neville, are you in here?\"

...or perhaps not.

\"No,\" he said, rolling over, ready to smother himself with his pillow.

He felt the bed shift as someone sat on the edge of the mattress, and he let out a groan.

\"Everyone has left for dinner,\" Harry said, \"and I noticed you weren\'t with them.\"

Neville hadn\'t realized it was as late as it was. \"Oh... I was hoping for a nap. Guess we should head to dinner, then...\"

\"Wait.\" Harry put a hand on Neville\'s chest, just as Neville started to sit up. \"There\'s something I want to say to you first.\"

----

Something was niggling at the back of Neville\'s mind - a memory trying to surface - that woke Neville from his sleep. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking them to clear away the sleep before taking in his surroundings. He could hear the other boys in the dorm getting ready for the morning\'s classes, talking and joking with each other, before the curtain to his bed was flung open.

\"Oi, Neville! Get your arse out of bed, mate! You\'ll be late for - oh. Er, sorry, Nev.\"

Confused, Neville looked down at himself. He was naked, again, and there were bloodstains on his sheets and bite marks on his chest.

He didn\'t go to his classes that day.

----

Madam Pomfrey gave Neville an antibiotic potion to drink, after he had shown her the bite marks on his chest. \"You don\'t know where that mouth has been,\" she said, and she was right - Neville didn\'t even know whose mouth it was. He certainly couldn\'t have done it himself.

Worried, he\'d also told her about the bloodstains on his sheets, and was forced to tell her about his other \'episodes\'. After hearing his story, Madam Pomfrey decided to give Neville a thorough once-over, to make sure there were no other injuries, and nothing that would last, or get worse. Unfortunately, this meant examining Neville inside and out, and Neville had to endure a salve-covered finger probing inside him. \"A mild healing salve,\" she explained. \"You poor thing.\"

His books were brought to him, and he worked on his homework in the solitude of the hospital wing.

Professor Lupin paid Neville a visit; knowing what Neville was going through, coupled with the fact that Neville hadn\'t been in class that day, he thought it would be good to ask Neville some questions.

They sat together for several hours, and Professor Lupin helped Neville with the classwork that he\'d missed.

That evening, Madam Pomfrey gave Neville another potion before tucking him in to sleep. \"You\'ll be just fine when you wake up. Sleep tight.\"

It was terribly dark, where he was in the hospital wing, but the potion helped him to sleep before he could be scared.

----

Neville was tired, hungry, and indecisive. He wasn\'t sure if he wanted to take a nap or go to lunch, until Harry interrupted him, saying he wanted to have a word.

Sitting up, Neville looked at his friend, who was sitting on the edge of his bed, and waited for Harry to speak. But instead of speaking, Harry leaned forward and kissed him roughly, biting his lip hard enough to hurt.

Neville started to protest, but Harry only kissed him again, muffling his words, and pushed him back on the bed. He tried to push Harry away, but Harry was stronger, despite being smaller.

His clothes were removed with a silent spell - come to think of it, Neville couldn\'t hear anything at all - and he was pinned to the bed by Harry\'s knees, his own hands held together above his head.

No, no no, Harry, don\'t, he tried to say, but no sound came out of his throat.

Harry was biting him, all over his chest, and pushing dry fingers into him... All he could feel was a dull ache, one that hadn\'t quite gone away, and then Harry\'s fingers were swiftly replaced with his prick, pushing in, and there was almost no feeling.

When Harry had finished, he rolled Neville onto his stomach. He saw bloodstained sheets, before everything went black.

----

Someone was hitting Neville, though the blows didn\'t feel real - almost like someone was hitting him underwater. He could feel pressure where each blow fell, but no pain. There was still no sound reaching his ears.

Neville opened his eyes to see Harry again, just before he felt Harry's hands around his throat. His shoulder was slightly sore, where he\'d had the bruise several weeks earlier. The muscles around his groin protested as his legs were pushed wide apart. Harry's hips slapped against his own as he was fucked, and he imagined he could hear flesh hitting flesh. Why couldn\'t he hear anything? Why couldn\'t he hear anything in his last dream? And most importantly, why was he dreaming that Harry was doing these things to him?

Oh. Things clicked, in Neville\'s mind, memories thought to be lost falling into place. These aren\'t dreams, they\'re memories...

-----

Neville slept all through the night, and through the next day. When he woke up , he was alone and frightened. His brain felt full; he remembered things he had forgotten, and a lot of what he remembered, he wished he hadn\'t. He was sweaty and chilled, and his eyes were dry and itchy.

Madam Pomfrey rushed in right away, smoothing a hand over Neville\'s hair and murmuring to him to calm him. He felt she was coddling him as a mum does a small child, but was too grateful for the attention to dismiss her.

She gave him another potion to drink. \"Just to sleep, dear,\" she said when he hesitated in drinking it. \"Just the night. Professor Lupin wants to talk to you first thing tomorrow morning.\"

This time, when he slept, there were no dreams.

----

Neville woke again late the next morning, feeling scared and very confused. What had happened? Where did all of these memories come from? Why did he remember?

Had Harry really done all those things to him, that he dreamt?

They weren\'t dreams, Neville, they were memories, he told himself. He knew it was true, though he didn\'t know how.

\"Ah, Neville. Glad to see you\'re awake. How are you?\" Professor Lupin sat in the chair by Neville\'s bed, looking calm and pleasant as always.

\"I... I don\'t know...\" Neville rubbed his eyes. \"Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion... I had all these thoughts...\"

Lupin nodded. \"Yes, it was a memory enhancing potion that I asked Professor Snape to brew.\"

\"Is that why I had those dreams?\" Memories, Neville.

Lupin nodded again, smiling a bit. \"In part, yes. That potion, combined with Professor Snape's skill in Legillimency, is what caused your "˜dreams'. I know your feelings towards Professor Snape; I know you wouldn\'t have wanted to face him, while he cast the spell, and since eye contact is required, the potion also helped you sleep with your eyes open.\"

Neville turned bright red, sitting up straight. \"Snape saw my memories?\"

The smile on Lupin's face grew. \"Professor Snape. And yes, he did, though you needn\'t worry about him spreading your secrets.\" Neville hid his face in his hands as Lupin continued. \"Don\'t worry, Neville. Only you, Professor Snape, and myself know what he saw in your memory. And Harry, to a certain extent?\"

\"That\'s why I was waking up sore, and with bruises!\" Neville exclaimed, his blush returning as he looked at Lupin. \"I... he did that! And I didn\'t remember it... He... did a lot of things...\"

Neville received a kind look from his professor. \"Don\'t worry, Neville. I\'ll speak with Dumbledore, and he\'ll want to speak to you, of course, but we\'ll get things straightened out soon. You won\'t be hurt anymore.\"

Trusting Professor Lupin, Neville nodded.

----

Neville had a headache for a few days, and thought it would never go away before it started to lessen. He wasn\'t surprised when Harry said his Occlumency lessons were changed to three nights a week, rather than one, and more often than not, Harry was too exhausted to do anything other than his classwork. Ron and Hermione commented on how little they saw of Harry, but Neville couldn\'t say that he was upset.

He was uncomfortable around Harry, now, and wasn\'t sure Harry knew what he had done.

Two weeks had passed, then three, without any confrontations with Harry. Neville\'s grades were improving as well, now that he could actually remember things. When he got an \"A\" on a Potions essay, everyone was quiet. Even Snape was silent after telling the class Neville\'s grade. Draco Malfoy just stared, eyes and mouth wide open.

----

Another week passed, and Neville was starting to feel more and more comfortable with The Way Things Had Become. While his grades didn\'t improve dramatically, they did improve, and he didn\'t have to worry quite so much about his classwork as much as he had, though Snape still intimidated him greatly.

He was heading to the Great Hall for lunch after dropping off his books in the dormitory, when Harry caught him leaving through the portrait hole. An icy chill ran down his spine.

\"Neville, hi.\"

Neville looked at Harry, but said nothing.

\"I wanted to talk to you, Nev... if you\'ve got a moment?\"

Shaking his head, Neville tried to continue on his way. \"There\'s nothing you could say, Harry, that I could possibly want to hear.\"

Harry put a hand on Neville\'s arm. \"Nev, wait, please -\" He looked sad.

Neville twisted his arm away, but Harry continued. \"Look, Neville, I\'m really, really sorry. You know I wouldn\'t have done those things, right? Between the NEWTs, the Death Eater attacks, Voldemort... I haven\'t been in my right mind lately...\"

Turning, Neville cut Harry off with a look. \"I don\'t want to hear it.\" He had an awful feeling in the middle of his chest, and his palms were itchy with sweat. He was afraid of Harry, but refused to let it show.

\"But Nev -\" Harry pleaded, concern in his eyes.

\"I\'m serious, Harry.\" Neville took a step back, feeling uncomfortable with Harry's proximity. "You are no longer my friend, and... I no longer want to be yours.\" His voice softened. \"You hurt me... took advantage of me... repeatedly...\"

Harry stepped closer. \"I can make it up to you.\"

\"No. Go away. I don\'t want to talk to you anymore, Harry.\"

Having turned to leave, Neville wasn\'t prepared for the curse that Harry threw at him, the blinding blue-white light, or the total darkness that surrounded him.