Of Love and Jealousy

Title: Of Love and Jealousy
Author: angeline_dark
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Harry/Sirius, Sirius/Other
Disclaimer: They aren’t mine, J.K. Rowling owns them.
Summary: Harry can’t bear it any longer. Written for Eumenides for the Secret Sirry Santa 2004.
Author’s notes: Many thanks to my wonderful beta Kuteki.


“Not again,“ Harry groaned, burying his head beneath a pillow in an attempt to drown out the sounds that kept coming from his godfather’s room. “Why do they have to be this noisy?” he grumbled and glared at the wall that divided his and Sirius’ rooms. Suddenly the noises stopped and Harry sighed in relief; they were finally finished.

“Yeah Mark, just like that...oh fuck”

Or not. God, what had he done to deserve this? He was eighteen, for fuck’s sake, he should be the one being buggered into next Tuesday, but there he was on a Friday night all by himself in his bed and not being able to sleep, because his handsome, 35 year old godfather was having what sounded like the best fuck ever in the next room.

Why had he agreed to move in with Sirius anyway? There must have been a reason, mustn’t there? Because he couldn’t be that much of a masochist to voluntarily expose himself to...

“Sirius! Oh God, you’re such a pretty slut...beg me to shove my big fat cock up your arse so hard that you’ll feel it for weeks!”

...that, every night, while he himself wasn’t getting any. It wasn’t like he didn’t get any offers, his fame as Boy-Who-Lived-To-Defeat-Voldemort-And-This-Time-For-Good brought him more than enough of those. The problem was that he didn’t want just anyone, he wanted a special someone and this special person responded to the name of Sirius Black and seemed oblivious to all of Harry’s attempts to get him to notice him.

They had been living together for nearly two month now and Harry was getting more and more frustrated. After the former convict had been declared innocent, Sirius had asked him to move in with him and in the beginning everything had been perfect. Sirius was the ideal flatmate and the two of them were closer to each other then ever. They had spend their evenings watching stupid TV shows, had lengthy conversations about everything and nothing, cooked and cleaned together and Harry had been happier than ever.

He had a major crush on his godfather since he’d met the man back in his third year and he’d thought that now that he was all grown up Sirius would finally notice him and maybe even return his feelings, so he had tried to flirt with Sirius, done all the nice little things that Hermione had said would gain his attention, had dropped subtle hints that he would be interested, he had even reverted to running around half naked in their flat. But nothing, there hadn’t been the slightest reaction from Sirius to any of it.

Instead Sirius had suddenly began bringing home various guys, sometimes a different one every night and Harry hated every last one of them. Sirius seemed to be trying to make up for the years spent in Azkaban and on the run by fucking or getting fucked by everyone that would hold still long enough. Well, everyone except Harry, all he got were brotherly hugs and good night kisses on the cheek and Sirius trying to set him up with some bird, which had fortunately stopped when he found out that Harry was as gay as a fruitcake.

Harry had hoped that telling Sirius that he was into blokes would bring the older wizard to finally make a move on him, but that had been a big miscalculation on his part. The only thing that changed was that Sirius was now trying to set him up with guys instead of girls. Life really sucked and judging by the changed sounds, Sirius’ newest conquest Mark did too. Had they never heard of a silencing charm?

Sirius surely couldn’t be that dense to not notice that Harry was madly and hopelessly in love with him and that his new slutty antics frustrated Harry to no end? So if he wasn’t, why wasn’t he here in Harry’s bed, but in the other room with his fuck-buddy of the week? It was really unfair!

Harry thought about jerking off, but Mark’s screams and grunts prevented his cock from getting interested. He hoped that Mark wouldn’t become a more permanent thing. He didn’t worry much though, because the usual duration period of Sirius’ relationships was less than a week. With a sigh he transfigured two chocolate frogs, from the stack in his nightstand, into ear plugs and grinned contentedly once he had them in his ears and didn’t have to hear Sirius fucking someone that wasn’t him anymore.

He pulled the comforter up to his chin and closed his eyes, going over the problem that was his hopefully future lover in his mind. Well, if the prophet didn’t come to the mountain, the mountain would have to come to the prophet, so if Sirius didn’t get the subtle hints he would have to make a blunter approach; one that his godfather couldn’t ignore and the perfect idea for it started forming in his mind. With a gleeful smirk on his lips, he finally fell asleep.

***

When Harry woke up around noon and got to the kitchen the next day, Sirius was sitting at the table, eating a late breakfast and reading the Daily Prophet. Fortunately Mark seemed to have left already, which was good because Harry didn’t think he could have endured his annoying presence right now.

As usual, Sirius was wearing a pair of faded jeans and nothing else. Harry took his time to admire the muscled chest and nice abs in front of him, the work out that the other wizard regularly had really showed.

He looked nothing like the half-starved man fresh out of Azkaban that Harry had come to know years ago, no his build rather resembled some statue of a Greek Adonis now. Add to that the long strands of shiny black hair that were trailing down his shoulders and Sirius’ general gorgeousness and you get the stuff wet dreams are made of.

God, he wanted this man more than anything else, only thinking about what it would feel like to run his tongue over Sirius’ toned torso gave him an instant hard-on, which was thankfully concealed by his baggy pyjama trousers.

“Morning,” he mumbled and sat down, pouring himself a cup of tea and filling his plate with scrambled eggs and bacon.

“Good Morning, Harry,” Sirius greeted him, not looking up from his newspaper. “Sleep well?”

Harry grunted, yeah sure as if anyone could have slept well next to that ruckus.

The grunt got Sirius to finally look at him, Harry sent him a glare that would have put even Snape’s to shame and Sirius’ expression became one of guilt.

“Guess I forgot the Silencing charm again, huh?” he said sheepishly.

Harry continued to glare.

“I’m sorry, we were so wrapped up in each other that neither of us thought of it,” Sirius said. “It won’t happen again, really.”

“Yeah sure,” Harry said, “would be a novelty.”

“Harry...” Sirius started, but Harry didn’t let him continue.

“It’s okay Sirius, just make sure to remember it next time,” Harry said and put a forkful of eggs into his mouth, still chewing he started phase one of his ‘make Sirius mine’ scheme: “So what are you doing tonight?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Haven’t any plans yet, why?” Sirius said over the edge of his coffee cup.

“Would you like to go clubbing? There’s this new muggle club –the Starlight- opening tonight and it’s supposed to be the hottest club ever, or at least they say so in the flyer I got.”

“Sure why not, could be fun.” Sirius answered, gulping down the last of his coffee.

“I have some things to take care of first, so see you there at eight?” Harry asked innocently.

“It’s a date.” Sirius said; folding up his prophet he stood up and went to the sink to spell their dishes clean.

Nodding Harry got up too and put his plate and cup into the sink. At the moment it wasn’t one, but if it was up to him that would change soon. Humming the latest Weird Sisters tune he shot one last admiring look at his godfather’s nicely rounded arse and went to his room to get dressed and maybe have a quick wank in the shower, Sirius’ jeans really should be considered illegal.

***

Two hours later Harry was standing in a small Goth-store in the muggle part of London, assessing his new outfit in the floor length mirror. The tight leather trousers were perfect, but he wasn’t entirely happy with the shirt.

“Try this one on,” said the saleswoman, with the way too many piercings, handing him another one. “I’m sure you’ll look stunning in it.”

Harry shrugged out of the shirt he was currently wearing and took the garment from her, cautiously he pulled it over his head, afraid of ripping the sheer fabric if he’d pull on it too strongly. The shirt had long sleeves, was dark green and nearly translucent, it showed off the muscles he had developed during Auror training really well.

The saleswoman whistled between her teeth “My, aren’t you quite the hottie, you look good enough to eat.”

“Good enough to get the guy I’ve had a crush on for years to finally notice me?” he asked quietly.

“Sure, he will drool all over you and then drag you off somewhere private to ravish you,” she answered, flashing him a grin that showed of her tooth jewellery.

“If only,” Harry said wistfully, changing back into his baggy jeans and jumper before he went to the counter to pay. The total took up the major part of the contents of his purse, but it was for a good cause, so he didn’t feel guilty for indulging himself.

“Good Luck!” the saleswoman shouted after him when he exited the store, he would definitely need it.

His next stop was a pharmacy, where he bought a tube of extra-strong hair gel, body glitter and in a bout of wishful thinking a large tube of strawberry-flavoured lube. After all a guy could hope.

When he apparated back home it was around 6, which left him nearly two hours to get ready, more than enough time. Luckily Sirius seemed to have already left their flat, so he had the bathroom all to himself.

He took another shower, loudly singing along with some tune on the muggle radio. Most wizards didn’t have such things, but growing up with muggles he was accustomed to them and he had been able to convince Sirius of the advantages of technology. That Sirius had soon become addicted to muggle soaps had also helped the cause.

Once he had finished showering and extra thoroughly cleaning some parts that would hopefully be ‘used’ later this evening, he dried himself off, put on his glasses, opened the tube of glitter and began to apply it to his chest, stomach and arms. He felt a bit self-conscious about the way it made him look, but the saleswoman in the Goth-store had said that it would go well with the outfit he’d chosen and that he really had to buy it in order to make the outfit perfect.

Next he got dressed, forgoing underwear altogether he wriggled his lower body until he managed to pull the form fitting black leather up his legs and over his hips. The trousers were really, very tight and he only hoped that he wouldn’t have to sit for too long in them, his cock and balls might not survive that unscathed. He put the shirt on and took a moment to admire himself in the mirror, before he used the gel to battle his overly messy hair into something that loosely resembled a hair style. When he was finally satisfied with the result he gave himself one last once over. Yep he definitely looked good enough to eat.

His gaze fell on the lube he’d bought, now how should he carry that with him? His trousers’ pockets weren’t very spacious, or had any spare space at all. But he wasn’t a wizard for nothing. Grabbing his wand from the board above the sink he shrunk the tube until it was small enough to easily fit into his pocket. Checking the clock he was shocked to find out that it was nearly eight and he would have to hurry to be there on time. Shrugging into his jacket and throwing one last glance at the mirror he apparated to the Starlight, hoping that Sirius would be there on time and without company for once.

***

Landing in the alley behind the new club, Harry took a deep breath. “You can do it, Harry,” he told himself before he rounded the corner and approached the entrance. Sirius was already waiting, looking drop-dead-gorgeous like always. Harry’s palms began to sweat and he casually buried them into his jacket’s pockets to hide it. Trying to look cool and not as nervous as he felt he slowly walked to where Sirius was standing.

“Hi Sirius,” he said “Sorry for making you wait.”

Sirius’ gaze wandered over him, mouth slightly opening when it came to a halt on his trousers. “Hullo Harry,” he said “Don’t worry I just got here.” Sirius coughed and finally looked at Harry’s face. “Those trousers look really good on you, how come I haven’t seen them before?” he asked, pouting slightly.

Success, Harry thought. “I bought them today, thought I try out a different look for a change, you know?”

“Umm,” Sirius said, staring once more at Harry’s trousers, or rather his arse that was so clearly outlined by them. Shaking his head as if to get rid of the image his eyes provided, Sirius pointed to the entrance “Shall we go in?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry said, and together they approached the bouncer, who waved them in after giving them a brief once over, apparently they had passed the face-code and were deemed worthy.

The rhythmic pounding of a techno beat greeted them once they stepped inside, after they had paid the entry-fee and handed their jackets over to the wardrobe lady they headed in the direction of the bar. Harry had noticed the startled, but very appreciative look Sirius had given him once he had seen his new shirt. The saleswoman had been right, he so was going to be getting some tonight.

Harry ordered drinks for both of them, having to shout at the barman in order to be heard through the music. Moments later two high, slender glasses of a sweetly smelling, purple liquid were put in front of them. Harry smiled at Sirius. “Cheers” he said, before he took a careful sip. The drink tasted of berries and faintly of something alcoholic. He normally wasn’t much of a drinker but he decided that he liked the taste.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see his godfather still staring at him, putting one elbow on the counter he turned around and leaned slightly backwards to show of his assets even better. Smiling serenely at Sirius he let his tongue sneak out to wet his lips, slowly sliding it over his bottom lip and repeating the gesture on his upper lip.

Sirius gasped, his pupils dilating and his gaze becoming unfocused. Harry thought that he really should have used this level of bluntness before, it certainly got him reactions of the best kind from Sirius.

After they had finished their drinks, Harry got up and suggestively swaying his hips he sauntered over to Sirius, taking his hand he pulled the other wizard who was looking wide-eyed at him to the dance floor. “Let’s dance,” he said, bringing his mouth close to Sirius’ ear so that the other wizard would hear him despite the noise level. Sirius nodded and let himself be directed to an empty spot among the masses of dancing bodies.

Harry swayed to the beat, making sure that his body never lost contact with Sirius’. He moved his hips in a seductive rhythm that pressed his crotch close against his godfather’s. Sirius gasped when he felt Harry’s obvious erection through the leather and jeans of their trousers, he tried to pull back but Harry would have none of that and pulled him even closer, moving in a rhythm that was so blatantly sexual that it shouldn’t have been allowed in such a public place.

Harry pressed his face against Sirius throat, softly nipping on the warm, sweaty flesh. He could feel the other wizard’s hot breath next to his ear…

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Harry?” Sirius shouted.

Kissing his way up to Sirius ear he shouted back “I think that’s obvious by now isn’t it? That should be enough for even you to notice how I....”

“Harry I,” Sirius started “You...,it’s too noisy. Let’s get out of here,” he shouted, taking Harry’s hand and dragging him along while he moved to the exit as fast as the masses of dancing people would allow.

They retrieved their jackets and left the club in silence, heading for the back alley where Harry had come from earlier.

Once they had reached the semi-privacy of the alley, Sirius pinned Harry against the brick wall of a building. “What game do you think you’re playing Harry?” he asked angrily.

“I don’t...” Harry started to reply, but Sirius interrupted him.

“Then why do you toy with me like this Harry? I know you probably think it’s funny to fool around with me for a bit, to tease me by dazzling that perfect arse of yours around in front of me, but you can’t possibly mean what that display you pulled on the dance floor indicated.”

“Why not? Why can’t I possibly be attracted to you? Because I am, you know, very much attracted to you at that, ever since the day I fucking met you. Have you really not noticed?”

“But Harry! I’m your godfather and I’m nearly twenty years older than you, you could have anyone, so why me? Why would someone like you be interested in me? Not that I’m not interested, to tell the truth I’m flattered, but it just isn’t right.”

“Sirius, can’t you really get into that thick head of yours that I want you and only you. It’s always been just you. You’re gorgeous and kind and you’re funny, you’re good company and most important you like me for who I am, for being Harry instead of for being Harry Potter the-Boy-Who-Defeated-Voldemort like the rest of the world.”

“Well if you say it like that, it makes sense...somehow.” Sirius hesitated, looking frightened, as if he’d had no intension to say that.

“So after I’ve told you how I feel, what about you? Are you attracted to me too?”

“Harry I’m your godfather, I shouldn’t be attracted to you.”

“Shouldn’t be? Does this means that you are attracted to me?”

Sirius nodded his head sheepishly. “You’ve been driving me nuts these past weeks, I thought you just wanted to try out your charm a bit. I didn’t think your flirting was intentional or had any deeper meanings, but I couldn’t get you out of my head. I caught myself thinking about you all the time, so I tried to distract myself with other guys, but it didn’t work. I kept picturing you when I was with them and I wanted you to overhear us so that you would stop torturing me like this.”

Harry grinned widely, “Will you kiss me?” he asked.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Sirius said, “what if...”

“What if what, Sirius? What are you afraid of?” Harry asked, no longer grinning.

“Harry I...I’ve never been good at this whole relationship stuff, I’ve always managed to fuck it up somehow and I don’t want to do that with you too.” Sirius looked at Harry, his face clearly showing his despair. “You’re the most important person in my life and I don’t want to lose you,” he declared.

Harry pulled him close. “I won’t ever leave you, even if this doesn’t work out. I promise,” he said pressing a kiss to Sirius’ cheek. “Will you kiss me now? Please?”

“I still don’t think it’s wise, but...” Sirius lowered his head until his lips touched Harry’s, both of them moaned at that first contact. Using the opportunity of Sirius’ slightly opened mouth Harry let his tongue slip inside, gently exploring the warm cavern. The kiss seemed to go on for hours when in reality it were only minutes before both of them had to pull back to catch their breath.

Afraid that Sirius would change his mind Harry dove right back in, sucking on Sirius’ tongue while his fingers roamed all over that delicious body. He kissed his way from Sirius mouth to his earlobe, discovering that he could make Sirius groan when he softly nipped at it. Once more he pushed his erection against Sirius’ groin and this time he could clearly feel an answering hardness. “Can I suck you off?” he whispered into his godfather’s ear.

At that Sirius whole body shivered. “Are you sure that this is what you want?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” Harry answered, at the moment he wanted nothing more than to finally taste Sirius’ cock in his mouth.

Sirius nodded and voiced his agreement with a barely audible “Yes”. Harry wasted no time, he kissed and sucked his way down Sirius’ chest until he was kneeling in front of him. Appraisingly cupping Sirius erection through his jeans, he lowered the zip to discover that Sirius wasn’t wearing anything beneath them. He groaned upon seeing that lovely cock for the first time, who would have thought that Sirius was so well endowed?

Teasingly he lowered his lips to kiss the head, before he opened his mouth to suck on the hard flesh. He wasn’t very experienced with blowjobs, but was determined to make Sirius forget every other man that had ever gone down on him. Judging by the sounds Sirius made, breathy whimpers and broken moans, he was doing a very good job at it. He alternatively licked and sucked, he couldn’t take all of Sirius in, but he used his hand to stroke in rhythm with his mouth to compensate for that.

Sirius buried his hands into Harry’s hair, tucking hard enough on the messy strands to make it hurt slightly, but Harry didn’t mind. He was too caught up in the feel and taste of Sirius’ cock in his mouth. He had fantasised about this moment for years, but none of his fantasies could compare to the real thing. A muffled shout of his name warned him that his godfather was close and moments later he felt the first spurts of come hitting his tongue, it caught him a bit by surprise but he managed to shallow most of it down. After a last few gentle licks, he pulled back and looked up at Sirius face, hoping that his godfather wouldn’t suddenly regret this.

Sirius loosened his grip on Harry’s hair and trailed a finger down his cheek and over his lips. He was smiling brightly and Harry couldn’t help but smile back. Sirius took his hand and helped him up “Let’s go home,” he said. Harry shot him a disappointed look, his still very prominent erection a painful reminder that he hadn’t come yet.

“I don’t want our first time to be in a back alley,” Sirius added and suddenly the idea of going home seemed much more appealing to Harry.

“There’s only one more question to answer,” Harry said with a mischievous grin. Sirius answering look of utter confusion made him laugh out loud.

“Harry, this isn’t funny,” Sirius said, which made Harry laugh even harder.

Sirius let go of Harry’s hand and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What question?” he growled.

“My bed our yours?” Harry replied and apparated away before Sirius could strangle him.

“Mine of course, it’s bigger,” Sirius said and followed him.

To be continued?