Miss Malfoy

A/N: The idea of turning characters into girls has been done, many, many times. I wished to try it, and this is my in-character, following canon attempt. In which Draco is an arrogant, nasty, domineering little person, Hermione is bushy-haired and know-it-all, and Harry is… well, Harry. It probably won’t go that far up into R, but then again, it might.


It was the last straw. The very final in a series of straws that were not bloody light, as as Ras Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were concerned. And to Mandy Brocklehurst, Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, it required some sodding action. And being the most intelligent house despite Draco Malfoy’s sneers and taunts on the lucidity of a Mudb’s t’s thoughts and magic, she and the group of grimly annoyed witches to whom he’d been an arrogant little shite were aptly placed to get a little revenge.

Which would, if she had anything to do with it, which she was, be sickly sweet. Calmly she patted the shoulder of the sobbing sixth year currently making her robes’ shoulder very wet and sighed, waiting for the tears to abait. Informing someone who’s virginity you’ve just buggered off with that they were crap in bed to begin with, and as a mudblood, not really worth the attentions of a pureblood anyway, and rounding off with a shrewd assessment of your failings, which, Mandy had to concede, Malfoy veryvery bloody good at, was not to be allowed. The girl was the last in a string of girls; not of all of whom had been treated similarly and – with a slight shake of annoyance Mandy tried to disengage the girl from her robes’ front – they were not all as spectacularly clingy, most of whom actually had had fun in a relationship with Ferret Boy, but enraged ex-girlfriends were not the only source of Mandy’s group of vendetta-bound bondsmen.

You didn’t get into Ravenclaw without inate intelligence which was a line of defence for the average girl. Unfortunately, Hufflepuff had a slight reputation for, Mandy allowed, well, not the most together of girls, which was unfair but it remained. And Malfoy had no idea what it was like to study exceptionally hard, get reasonably good marks, lose out on the top position to him, or Hermione, and be laughed at, on top of all the stress of being a girl living in a bloody castle with no access to modern comforts if you were muggleborn. If it was him, you were no good at anything because you were female. If Granger came top, you were no good because you were stupid.

It wasn’t fair, and although Mandy, top in Ravenclaw Potions since first year couldn’t edit Malfoy’s parentage, she did have the resources to make the world very unpleasant for him. And it was with a small smirk that she finished consoling the girl and gathered the ingredients.


*

“What’s the matter, Professor?” Hermione Granger pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes irritably, and frowned, somewhat perplexed by the summons. As Head Girl of Hogwarts she was often called to Professor Dumbledore’s office, and on a lesser scale, Professor McGonagall’s, but at present, Professor Snape was lurking at the back of McGonl’s l’s office, with a pissed-off look on his hook-nosed face which meant that discussion of house business was not an option.

Professor McGonagall looked rather harassed. “Do sit down, Miss Granger, Mr Potter,” she indicated seats.

“Can we please get to the point, Professor?” Snape snapped from the background, impatience creeping into his voice. “Potter, this is a disgrace. How dare you?” Indignation and anger were visible in his eyes and demeanor, he was, Hermione noted, extremely pissed off.

“That’s not fair,” Professor McGonagall immediately defended her Captain of Quidditch. “It’s by no means settled that Harry did anything of the sort,” she said reprovingly. “Indeed, Harry’s the most unlikely of candidates.” Harry looked completely bewildered, having been completely engrossed in Quidditch tactics preceding the meeting, Hermione knew the blank look he gave McGonagall was a result of being completely lost. He wasn’t the only one.

“What’s happened?” Hermione asked, her voice polite, but firm. If they’d hauled her away from a complicated piece of Transfiguration homework purely to argue whether Harry had done something or not, then she was leaving.

“I will get my own back,” said a voice underscored with intense displeasure. A girl stepped out from behind Snape, her arms folded across her chest. She was dressed, Hermione noted, in extremely baggy black robes and a dark scowl. White blonde hair fell around her shoulders, blue eyes glaring from her pale face. She was actually fairly pretty, if she weren’t in such a bad mood.

“Nice to meet you,” she said politely, only it wasn’t. Questioningly, she looked at McGonagall. The girl gave a short laugh, and snorted.

“Not bloody likely,” she said darkly. “So you didn’t do this, Mudblood?”

“That,” McGonagall said, her tone carefully measured, “Is Mr Malfoy. Apparently, he woke up this morning like this.”

“I’m going to kill whoever did this,” Malfoy snarled, his, or her, Hermione corrected herself, with a small hidden smile, lips twisting in a sneer.

“Well I imagine there are plenty of candidates,” she offered helpfully. “I mean, most people despise, loathe and detest you,” she added brightly, smiling at him pleasantly. Malfoy scowled back. Harry sniggered.

“The problem is,” McGonagall said carefully, ignoring the comment, ‘We have no idea who did it. Or how long it will last. However, Mr Malfoy is not in the best position right now. The attack on a Slytherin, particularly one in a prominent position-“ reference to Malfoy being Head Boy, a position Hermione reckoned he’d bought – “Would cause outrage within the house in such times. We cannot afford to have him stay there like this. Particularly as, well, Mr Malfoy is in the boy’s wing of Slytherin dungeons,” Professor McGonagall cleared her throat.

Yes, that would be a problem, Hermione acknowledged. As Heads, they had a separate room, just off the main dormitory however. Thus, the girls were still protected by the alarm system inbuilt into the castle from nightly visitors and the boys – well, the boys weren’t, but sexist behaviour was normal in the tenth century, Hermione conceded. However, Malfoy-as-a-girl in a boys’ dorm was hardly acceptable.

“So we are evacuating him,” Professor McGonagall met their eyes steadily. “To Gryffindor. Miss Granger, you are to, well, guide him around Gryffindor, as it were, and Madam Pomfrey is now aware of the situation. Mr Potter, as Mr Malfoy is in fact, a Mr, you are requested to be on hand in need of assistance. Of course, Mr Malfoy must still attend classes-“

Malfoy snorted again at this, rudely. Professor Snape raised an eyebrow.

“We need your help,” Professor McGonagall said seriously. “Animosity cannot be allowed to get out. People will become aware that Mr Malfoy is now.. transfigured for a short time until we can fix it, but by removing him from the Slytherin quarters, we hope to prevent revolt.” She looked at them, a hint of desperation in her eyes.

“All right,” Hermione sighed. Harry nodded. Professor McGonagall let out a sigh of relief, and began shuffling papers on her desk, not meeting their eyes.

“Excellent. MGranGranger, if you’ll just escort Mr Malfoy to Madam Pomfrey to get a girl’s uniform then,” she cleared her throat. “Excellent,” she added, in a brisk voice.

Hermione winced. She’d never actually wanted to picture what Draco was wearing under his robes.


*


A/N: I shall not tell you who it is I’m setting up, but suffice to say, either way it will result in a few problems. Pleeease review!