A House Homecoming for All

\"Oh dear...\" Caitlin\'s voice gently reverberated against the cold stone walls of the unfamiliar castle before sliding into the screeching descant of Jessica\'s ecstatic wails.

\"Where are we!!!!\" Andrew clutched his hands against his ears, not minding too much if he ripped out his new gold studs too soon after their piercing in order to protect his auditory might against Jessica\'s merciless racket.

\"Hey, Jess... why does this suddenly look like a page out of Harry Potter?\" Jessica\'s large hazel eyes overflowed with brimming emotion as she gasped in half awed anticipation.

\"Ooooh, Tiera, what if it is!\" Tiera\'s face morphed into cynnical brevity and merely cocked an eyebrow at the ludacrous supposition.

\"Jess, you can\'t mean to say that you think this is possible?\"

\"Can\'t I?\" Jessica half shouted in glee and scampered around the room merrily as a four year old would do upon the 6th hour of Christmas day, all other family members bemused, groggy and slightly annoyed.

\"Ooh, I\'m going to suffer horribly from separation anxiety from my doggy if this is permanent!\" Jessica mused, slightly wringing her hands in frustration, \"But then again, they usually allow students to have at least one pet...\"

\"Jess, shut up! This is fried bullocks on a stick, in a bowl!!!\" Andrew finally expelled as all restraint fled into nothingness.

\"Jess, you just read way too much Rowling, okay? I mean, what other books has she written? Sheer luck if you ask me!\" and with this, Jessica lunged upon Tiera\'s twitching form until she was breathless from fear and the threat of permanent disfigurement.

\"Don\'t you ever insult the majesty and brilliance that is Rowling! Do you understand?!\" Jessica hissed as she left purple finger indentations into Tiera\'s once alabaster tender neck- flesh.

\"Alright, alright!\" Tiera winced as Jessica flew off of her and rushed to press her ear to the door.

\"What can you hear, love?\" Cait queried and followed the athletic little beauty to the old, worn oak.

\"Some voices... deep and manly... mmmm... Sanpelicious....\" Jessica giggled with Cait following in quick pursuit whilst Andrew and Tiera merely looked wearily at each other and decided to sit down and play some poker.

Tiera yawned and streched as Andrew divvied out the deck until Cait gasped as the door began to slowly open ajar out of its own volition.

\"Oooh, it\'s happening...\" Jessica whispered frantically into Cait\'s ear as the two other scions\' jaws slowly dropped and all thoughts of royal flushes were gone down the proverbial toilet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The once professor, forever estranged sexpot, Remus Lupin, dashed through the familiar hallways of Hogwarts, occasionally catching the sound of another piece of his cloak unexpectedly clinging onto something and ripping off predictably. He was already late and desperately needed according to Dumbledore, to which he couldn\'t be enlightened of until he\'d arrived; fickle old fart. Sighing in relief as he caught sight of the faint glow of the room of requirement, Lupin slowed his pace to a recovering stride and burst through the door. Presently gathered ominously around a perfectly circular table that had been carved in the twlfth century by a well known Headmaster (whose name suddenly escaped him for some reason), were the most unlikely of guests ever to associate with eachother out of their own volition. Mouth slightly slack, Lupin seemed frozen to the spot and seriously considered if he\'d been cursed without feeling the initial onslought; unable to move his feet, he took in the menagerie of disgruntled and disconcerted faces around him.

There was Minerva, of course, looking delicately stoic but amused behind her green rimmed glasses, Dumbledore to the left who surpirisingly hadn\'t opened his big gob to chastise him for being late as he would do a schoolboy, Severus Snape, scowling begrudgedly and tapping a dry quill insistently upon the table in a strained rhythm, and next to him, Lucius Malfoy of all people, regarding Lupin with disinterested calculation secreted upon his face. Gulping, Lupin moved to the other side of the room where there was good old Flitwick, smiling rather crookedly, his eyes darting back and forth nervously between Lupin and Malfoy (always trying to point out the obvious), and Prof. Sprout dead-panned and white.

Lupin decided that it was about time to reinstate the authority of his own esophagus, \"So, um... sorry I\'m late.\"
With mild snickering from various miscreants at the table, Lupin was able to hobble over to an empty seat next to Flitwick and expell a suspiration deep enough to gouge all the opals in Australia out of their bedrock.
\"Well, now that we\'re all here, I\'ll begin with what I propose to do about our new assignment and our previous... debacles,\" Dumbledore twinkled, looking annoying at Snape for some sign of praise for using \"refined\" language as he\'d been previously told by the Potions Master that he lacked in the area.

Twisting his sallow face into a malicious grin, Snape nodded approvingly only to roll his eyes and place a pasty fist against his pounding head as soon as the geriatric\'s head had turned.

\"We are gathered here today-\" Dumbledore began superfluously only to be rudely interrupted by Malfoy\'s controlled snort and Snape\'s breathy laugh in perfect synchronicity.
Clearing his throat and choosing to ignore such immature behavior concerning such a pertinent matter, Dumbledore said in a rush,

\"I have decided to implement our most secret weapon against all dark forces surrounding the newest resurrection of the Dark Lord... this being the location and deportation of our house descendents, once carefully deposited in the muggle world for protection; similarly to Harry Potter, these young people will have to be trained in a completely foreign manner as to what they\'re used to and I have assigned each of you with a particular... scion.\"

Again, Dumbledore\'s eyes darted across the way to Snape and this time, Snape bellowed out immediately with Lucius on his right cackling with glee complete with auditory knee-slapping and high-pitched histrionics.

Slightly put out, but still sufferring from dementia, Dumbledore clarified, \"As I\'m sure you\'re aware, each authentic house representitive will be assigned two mentors in order to teach them not only magic but the history of their name as they will be utterly clueless. As you know, a talented woman has written a series on our brilliant Boy Who Lived, so perhaps we shall encounter one or two who are fairly aquainted with our world. Of course, one can never be too sure if any author has taken artistic liberties, so I believe it would be prudent to clarify the extent of their knowlege a week into their privatate tutelage.\"

\"Well,\" Minerva began, shooting daggers at Malfoy in particular, \"I don\'t see how this method of action to protect out world should involve such a nefarious man as Lucius Malfoy, Headmaster.\"

To this, Dumbloefore chortled stupidly whilst Snape and Malfoy still recovered from their previous outbursts, \"My dearest Minerva, both of the men you see on the opposite end of this table have been double agents for the light for the past fifteen years, Lucius in a circle of nobility closely affiliated with Voldemort and Snape as a sometimes server.\"

To this, Minerva cocked a brow incredulously and turned her nose up haughtily. Lupin, still struggling to catch all those big words flying past Dumbledore\'s wise and crinkly lips, patted Flitwick on the shoulder to ask the time to make it appear as if he\'d understood what had just transpired.

\"Now, as I believe we are all ready to meet our new pupils, Hagrid has deposited them in his underground cellar-\" to this, there was a roar of half-disgust, half intrigue from the Slytherin end of the table where Lucius was whispering frenetically about what he\'d just done to a helpless \"muggle-born\" in his \"cellar\" as a \"treat\".
Clearing his throat and finally dropping the old coot act, Dumbledore commanded, \"Follow me then,\" and led them all out in single file to Hagrid\'s shack.

As they all crouched to clamber down the slippery steps streaked with damp mildew and the like of fungi, Dumbledore dictated who would be taking who where after the initial cltatltation in the cellar, etc.

\"Well, as I\'m sure you\'re able to surmise on your own, the reason I\'ve called her here in particular, Remus, is to assist Minerva in educating the Gryffindor descendent. Flitwick and Sprout, you will take the Hufflepuff, I will take the Ravenclaw, and Severus and Lucius, you will be responsible for Slytherin\'s child.\"

\"Honestly, I never would\'ve guessed,\" Lucius mumbled, distractedly swiping at an attacking cobweb from above, Snape just glowering at the Headmaster contemptuously.

\"Headmaster, earlier, you so eloquently stated that there would be two \"mentors\" for each child - you may count yourself as two people in your own mind, sir, but I can assure you, you are simply one in this world,\" Snape smirked, issuing a string of hushed giggles from Lucius.

\"The ghosts will help me,\" Dumbledore conceded and waved the protest away, Snape agog and on the verge of cachinnating all over the cold stone floor.

\"Yes, the ghosts will be sure to provide an excellent example for innocence susceptable to magical corruption,\" Snape murmured and crossed his arms most unkindly, whapping Lupin in the back in the process, \"by the way, before you unveil this unexpected privelage for us all, where abouts have these children been raised for the past seventeen years or more? They are enchoric, aren\'t they?\"

Dumbledore blinked a few times, then put a finger to his chin pensively, \"Well, two are Canadian, one is American and one is well, you\'ll see!\"

\"What!\" Flitwick suddenly chirped assininely, \"American AND Canadians under one roof! Have you seen the tabloids? Hogwarts will be in ruins! Madness this is - complete madness!\"

Panting crazily beneath his tiny robes, Minerva stroked his back a little too familiarly for comfort until he settled once more.

\"Honestly, compose yourself, my CHARMING friend,\" a few moans from behind Lupin were faintly heard, \"the American and the one of mixed origin have been good friends for seven years now and will remain amicable through their stay here in Britain I\'m sure.\"

Slowly, Dumbledore tugged open the heavily stained and generally cleanliness- neglected door to reveal four very curious looking \"muggles.\"




A/N: Review please. This is the beginning to a plot bunny that\'s been just eating away at my very soul for a few months now... more to come! Let me know if you like the sound of it, eh?