Home is Where the Heart Is

~ Disclaimer: I own nothing but what springs from my imagination. Remus Lupin, Hogwarts, and the rest of the Potterverse are the property and the children of JK Rowling. ~

Home is Where the Heart Is
Chapter 9: Where the Heart Is


Remus awoke to the light streaming into his quarters at Hogwarts. He had returned from his mission the night before, briefed Albus Dumbledore, and fell fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. With the morning came the nervousness. It was Wednesday. He would be taking over his classes on Thursday, Albus having thought it best to give him an extra day to recuperate. He got up, preferring to take breakfast in his rooms rather than face the entire staff and student body. After eating and getting dressed in running clothes, he looked at the robes in his closet. He still couldn’t seem to get over wondering how robes like that came into his possession, robes that fit perfectly and were his favorite color, next to Gryffindor colors, of course. He shrugged. One more mystery to solve. He left the castle through a side door and looked around for students. They were all in class, he supposed. He took off running his usual path around the lake. As he ran he thought over the events of the previous night. He remembered the scene of Tonks standing in the rain crying over him. He was right, of course. He couldn’t love her. It wouldn’t have been fair even he did love her, which wasn’t the case. It wasn’t fair for him to love anyone. How could he put anyone through what he became, even with the Wolfsbane Potion? He widened his path to the Forbidden Forest, a place he knew better than most, having run wild in his werewolf form when he was a student. Back then he had the other Marauders to keep him company. Remus attempted to clear his mind as he ran, but only found it filling up with memories: memories of his youth, memories of his last tenure at Hogwarts, memories of his friends, memories of the night before…too many memories. He stopped short, feeling a stitch in his side and walked it off. He had a chance to start over and it was a chance that he wanted. He wanted to make something of his life, something that was his. Teaching could be that for him, his chance to do something important, even if only he thought that it was.

Remus looked up at the sun and realized that he had run away most of the morning. He had wanted to stop in and see Severus, and get some more of the Wolfsbane Potion, the potion with the prolonging catalyst. He and Severus had discussed seeing how long it could last under different conditions and he was to house the control potion. He jogged into the castle, deftly avoiding a few students, and down to the dungeons where he knew Severus was between classes. He passed a woman on the staircase, one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen: talitheithe, raven haired, blue eyed. He flattened himself against the wall to allow her pass. She smiled at him. He started after her in awe, and then realized that she was coming from the dungeons. He continued down the stairs and stood at the doorway to Severus’ classroom. He knocked softly, Severus looked up from the papers he was grading.

“Oh, Lupin, right. The potion,” he said, standing up.

“You looked lost in thought,” said Remus, with a small smile.

“I suppose. You look terrible.”

“Thanks, you look lovely as well, Snape.”

“I just meant, never mind. Here’s the potion for the experiment.” Severus gave Remus several vials of the Wolfsbane potion.

“Thanks,” said Remus, “Hey, who’s that very attractive woman I saw coming up from the dungeons? She looked familiar.”

“Ariah Morrigan,” replied Severus, glaring at Remus, “She was here around 2 years ago and she’s back. Teaches tactical magic.”

“Married?”

“No,” was Severus’ terse reply.

“Involved?”

“I assume she considers herself involved,” stated Severus, glaring at Remus.

“Ah, I see,” said Remus, giving Severus a knowing look.

“Wipe that smirk off your face, Lupin, and steer clear of Professor Morrigan.”

Remus laughed and clapped Severus on the shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ll stay away. I know she wouldn’t be able to resist my terminally happy outlook anymore than she can resist your ever sunny disposition.”

Severus scowled, which made Remus laugh harder. Severus turned his back on Remus and fiddled with a cauldron. It was still fun to see how far he could go before Snape pulled a wand on him.

“Are you done?” he asked Remus.

Remus stopped laughing and gave him a sidelong glance, “Well, I never thought I’d see Severus Snape in love. Funny, it’s barely any different from Severus Snape NOT in love,” he grinned and exited the potions room in a hurry, not wishing to take any chances with the potion master’s temper.

Remus took the steps up from the dungeon two at a time, chuckling at Severus’ discomfort. He had no doubt that the potions master was somehow involved with Professor Ariah Morrigan. He wondered if this could actually be the mystery woman that Snape was supposedly in love with, the relationship that ended badly. For some reason, he had assumed that she had fallen in the battles against the Dark. He figured he would find out sooner or later. Deciding that taking a shower would be a good thing, Remus retreated to his rooms. He showered, changed, and gathered his teaching supplies for the next day. Carefully laying out his robes on the chair, he once again was drawn to them. There was something about them that had made Albus smile, he remembered. Could Albus be behind the robes? It made sense. They were fine teaching robes. And Albus would have known that Remus would need new ones. And Albus had known that he would be offering Remus the DADA position. And Albus would know of Remus’ pride. Remus shook his head and decided to confront Albus with what he had figured out, if only to thank the man for everything he had ever done for Remus Lupin.

* * * *

“Remus, my boy,” said Albus a few minutes later in his office, “I can assure you that I am not the donor of the robes. I think that I might know who is, but it was not I. Had I thought of it, I most certainly would have acted in the same manner, but alas, I did not.”

“Then who, Albus? This is killing me. I need to know. I know it wasn’t some great coincidence and I want to thank the person who did this for me.”

“I’m not sure the person I believe responsible would want thanks.”

“Minerva?”

“Not Minerva.”

“Not Rolanda?”

“Heavens no, my boy, I don’t think putting you INTO a set of robes is what she would want.”

“Albus, I can’t believe you said that.”

“I can’t either. Not sure what just came over me.”

Remus laughed at the truly befuddled look that the headmaster gave him, “Pomona?” he continued.

“Stop. You won’t hear my suspicions from me. As I said, I recognize the style of robes. Classic cut, well tailored, Madame Malkin’s best…”

Remus remembered the day he had found the robes in Diagon Alley. He remembered looking into the window of Madame Malkin’s. He remembered bumping into someone and the ensuing conversation regarding his return to Hogwarts and the fact that he needed new robes…

“No way,” he said, his widening, “there is no way.”

“Sometimes what we least expect turns out to be the most obvious,” said Albus, smiling.

Remus excused himself and ran back down to the dungeons. Severus wasn’t in his classroom. He found him in his back storage room. Remus shut the door and put a silencing charm on it.

“What are you doing, Lupin? Have you lost your mind?” said Severus.

“No, I think you’ve lost yours.”

“What are you talking about?”

“My robes.”

Severus glared at him, “What about your robes? I’m assuming you bought a decent set of used robes at a good price.”

“You know damned well what robes I bought.”

“How should I know?” asked Severus, “I don’t rummage about in any closet, much less yours.”

“Just one question, Severus. Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why the robes?”

Severus sat down on a bench and sighed, “I know what it’s like to want something you can’t have,” he said.

“You? You’ve got more money than I will ever see in my lifetime.”

“What good is money in the long run? It can buy you objects, but it can’t buy you what’s intangible. Money didn’t help me when I was a student, did it? You were the one with the friends, the respect of your peers; I never had any of that. Money didn’t stop me from joining the Dark Lord, did it? Money didn’t protect me from losing the one woman…never mind.”

“No, Sev, go on,” said Remus, sitting on a bench opposite Severus, “there’s a silencing charm up.”

“It doesn’t matter. The point is, money can’t buy you the intangible things like friendship, respect, love…not the real things, anyway. I saw you looking at the robes that day. I remembered the way I treated you the last time you came here to teach. I remember taunting you over the condition of your robes. And I was responsible for your having to leave Hogwarts due to my petty jealousy and inability to let go of the past. I was a different man then, Remus. I was a colder man. I didn’t know what the intangibles felt like.”

“And now you do?”

“To a degree, yes. Robes can never make up for the things I’ve done and said to you, but I thought they might be a start. And even if you never found out how they came to be in the second hand robe shop, it wouldn’t matter. I would know I did at least ONE good thing for one of the two people who never treated me like shit in school.”

“And watching over Harry…it wasn’t all because of James, was it? It was for Lily. She defended you.”

Severus nodded, “And I repaid her kindness by calling her a mudblood.”

“And keeping watch over her son for 7 years, even though it killed you to do it.”

“If you ever tell anyone any of this, Lupin, I will hunt you down and flay you alive. My quarters could do with a wolf skin rug.”

“I’ll never tell a soul,” agreed Remus, as he lifted the silencing charms on the room and opened the door, “by the way, Sev?”

“What?”

“Professor Morrigan,” he said with a grin, “she’s damned hot.”

“Do shut up, Lupin.”

“Seriously, if you’re not interested…”

“Go away or I will begin the flaying early.”

“I mean…”

“Tempt neither fate nor me,” said Severus, reaching for his wand.

“No hexing in the corridors, Filch’s rules.”

“We’re not in the corridors, Professor Lupin.”

“Shit,” laughed Remus, “put down the wand, Snape.”

“Prove your mettle, Lupin, defend against the dark arts…”

“I have a wand, Snape, and I know how to use it.”

“That’s not what I’ve heard,” snorted Severus.

“Well, she lied,” said Remus, grinning.

“Who said it was a she?” asked Severus, coolly arching an eyebrow.

Remus backed out of the storeroom into the vacant classroom, grabbed his wand, pointed it at Severus and shouted “Aquae Virga!” causing his wand to emit a stream of water at the Potions Master. Before Severus could react, they both stopped short at the sound of a clearing throat in the doorway. They slowly turned to see the grinning headmaster standing there.

“Are you two brave and loyal members of the Order of the Phoenix finished with your…ahem…water fight?”

“Yes sir,” said Remus, looking at the floor, “he started it,” he muttered.

“Then I need to fill you in on where your classes are, Remus.”

“Yes sir,” he said, looking over at Severus with a grin. Severus responded with a scowl.

“You might want to clean up this water, Severus, before any students wander down here,” remarked Albus.

“Very well,” replied Severus, with a dark look at Remus, a look that barely concealed a sly grin.

Albus put his arm over Remus’ shoulder and smiled, “As I said before, welcome home, my boy. Welcome home.”