The Sins Of A Father

Chapter Nine: Died In His Eyes





I had just gotten out of the shower and quietly got dressed in my suite, trying my BEST to not notice Black’s laugh echoing in my house like HE belongs here. Do you know what fact pisses me off even more? It\'s that fact that he tries to act like the husband here. Oh yes, let\'s not forget about trying to father MY children.



How dare he! That fucking degenerate little shit! It’s ONE thing to be kind, yes, but to act like this is HIS family, it makes me want to throttle him. Preferably my hands around his throat!



Soon, I went downstairs to have my quick breakfast, noticing that mutt of a godfather sitting around the counter having breakfast also.



With my children.



And I swear I saw him eyeing up my wife.



Before I even stepped into that kitchen, I took three VERY deep breaths. Then, calmly, walked in to stand next to my wife, putting an arm around her slim waist, and kissing her very softly, but firmly on the lips to make sure it lingered a little bit more than necessarily. But then again, I wanted to make sure Black got the point before I NECESSARILY smack him in the gob.



I left her side, smirking, of course, when I noticed Black narrow his eyes, then sat down next to Jimmy. “Good morning, everyone…” I said politely, putting a white napkin on my lap, just basking in the glare that Black was giving me. I grinned and looked Black straight in the eye. “And, of course, Sirius, a SPECIAL good morning to you…” I let my deep voice purr slightly, just loving to rile up Black.



He glared a little more, but then smirked. He knew I was baiting him, and, of course, he will return the courtesy. “Thank you, SEV, and a good morning to you, also.”



He knew I hated that nickname if it came from his mouth, but I just gave a sickly sweet smile when Lily came over to place my breakfast on the counter. “Thank you, love…” I watched his face change from pale to a lovely shade of a beetroot.



I knew very well he hated me. Well, you can guess why, and I’m not hiding the fact that I feel entirely the same. But we must be civil when it comes to us being in front of the children. I had of a lecture from Lily when the last time got a little too carried away with exchanging insults.



Plus, she withdrew sex from me for a MONTH.



You have no idea how much that hurt me, or rather how much it made me frustrated.



“So, Harry, what will you be doing for your birthday?” Black asked. He turned around to face Harry who was sitting next to him at the end of the counter. I was slightly disappointed that the shade was gone.



“Don’t know, Uncle, it\'s too soon. It\'s like about four months left \'till then…” Harry was mumbling around a mouth full of toast.



“Come ON! It\'s NEVER too soon! You’ll be turning sixteen! You’ll be practically an adult! There must be SOMETHING you want!”



How about Black jumping off of a cliff? Oh sorry, that’s what I want. I sighed thoughtfully and carried on munching my food.



Harry smiled sheepishly and shrugged.



“How about a birthday party, Harry? We could invite your friends over and along with some of the family members?” Lily came over to sit next to me and started to eat her food.



“That’s a brill idea, Lil! What do you say, Harry? Hey, maybe I can take you out for a bit before the party? Like to see a football match or something? I’m sure Lily won’t mind!”



I growled, gripping my fork and knife a little too hard. You see, he’s acting as if I shouldn’t have been in consideration! I wished then that I was gripping his throat instead of my cutlery.



“Well, Sirius, as one of Harry’s parents I should think it\'s his decision on what he shall be doing on his birthday…” I said before I forked my egg and shoved it into my mouth. He smirked at me disgustingly, and I knew he was trying to bait me, but like always, I was calm and collected.



“How about Legoland, Harry!” Jimmy helpfully chirped, raising his fork in the air. We all laughed softly at the comment.



“I think Harry is a little to old for that, Kido! But maybe I could take you there some time in the summer? We can finally go take a swim in one of those pools if it gets hot.” Black ruffled my son’s hair.



“We can?” Jimmy looked up hopefully, his look quickly turning into one of those puppy dog faces.



“Of course! Why not? Maybe invite a few of your friends? My treat!”



I really wanted to hit Black. I mean, how dare he! I should be the one taking him out! I should be the one treating him and his friends! I’m HIS father! Seriously, who the HELL did he think he was? I cleared my throat. “Well, Black, it\'s nice for you to go somewhere that will let you go on all of the rides that are suitable for you, but you should really take an adult to supervise you…then again, I’m sure Jimmy will able to do that.”



It\'s nice to hear his teeth clenching and gritting. It\'s music to my ears. I smirked and arched an eyebrow, seeing if I had riled him up enough for him to insult me back. But alas, he did not since he saw Lily’s look. I soon lost my arched eyebrow and went back to my food, but I did not loose my smirk.



“I was wondering if…Maybe, that is, that I could…Spend some time with you, Papa?…I mean, if you get some time off, that is!” Harry blushed deeply when every face went to look at his.



“Are you sure, Harry…?” Black looked like he wanted to change the boy’s mind.



I was slightly shocked by this outcome, but…not surprised at all, in the end. “Of course, Harry, I’ll try…We’ll see, all right…?” Harry gave a weak smile, nodded, and went back to his food. I looked at my watch and decided to leave before I was late with another meeting with Riddle. “Well, I’m off before I’m late for WORK.” I said the last part to Black. Did you know that he also lives off of his inheritance? Maybe that’s why he’s still chummy with Potter. They have something in common.



What is SO hard about working!?



I stood up and placed my napkin next to my plate. “Thank you, Lily, for the ever so wonderful food…Don‘t work too hard.” I gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.



“Don’t worry about that. I’ll help her clean…” Black gave me a grin and he had a strange glint in his eyes.



He was trying to crawl under my skin. I clenched my teeth slightly and ignored him, turned around to face Jimmy to kiss his forehead quickly went over to Harry to kiss his forehead, also. “I’ll see you after the weekend, alright, son?”



He gave a tight smile and said softly, “Ok…” I patted him on his head gently twice and went past Black to exit the kitchen.



But…“What? No kiss for me, Sev?…” He raised an eyebrow and gave me a smug smirk.



I turned around and gave the most charming smile I could muster and said in a gentle-in a fake concern-tone. “It depends. Have you had your rabies shot?” I went out of the door before he could answer back. I think I had heard Lily and Harry laughing.



I went to put on my coat, then picked up my briefcase as I jogged out of the house to go to my car parked in the large driveway. I went into my pocket to find…“Fuck, not again…” I mumbled. I searched for those damnable metal objects through all the pockets I had, feeling the cold, slightly misty air on my face. Once I did not find them I sighed deeply and went to turn around to find…“Harry?”



There he stood, holding a pair of keys in front of my face with a tiny smirk. “Keys,” he simply said and waved the said object to rattle.



“Heh, I thank you, kind sir…” I mockingly bowed my head and took the offending keys, opened the car door to place my briefcase at the back of my seat.



“I’ll miss you, Papa…” He said it so low, I almost did not hear him.



Almost.



I turned around slowly to look at him.



That was the first time that I had actually noticed how things had changed, that he had changed. But the one difference then was that I did not know WHAT had changed. I opened up my arms slowly, invitingly, waved my fingers once to call him over silently. He went straight to my arms, burying his face to my chest and into my coat. I circled my strong arms around him firmly, tight enough to reassure him with the pressure.



I furrowed my eyebrows. I did not know what was truly happening then. I was staring ahead thoughtfully at nothing, did not know how long the moments had even passed. I could not feel anything besides the body pressed up against me. My son’s body.



I was telling myself that I want to comfort him with all that I could. That he was my son; that I needed to protect him, care for him when he needed it from me.



But then I began thinking at that moment, hearing that little tiny voice, whispering so softly like the wind in the back of my head saying, ‘It\'s wrong…’



I was confused. How was it wrong to care, to comfort, to love my son? To give him the comforts that I could give? Was it wrong to see your child happy?



That’s all I ever wanted for him: his happiness.



I pulled him away from me, just enough to see his face. I pulled my arms away slowly, never leaving my eyes from his, my left hand gently resting on his right cheek while my right hand ran through his soft bangs of locks to pet him caringly. “All you need to know, Raven, is that it will be alright…” I leaned downwards to his scar, just barely brushing my lips, just enough to feel the slightly rough surface and whispered against the skin. “I will NEVER let anything bad happen to you, Harry…” I firmly pressed my lips onto his scar, then slowly retreated my lips away to face him again, gently stroking his cheek with my thumb, looking deep into his brilliant emerald eyes. “You’re my son, and you always WILL be”



And I think something died in his eyes.