Of Beauty

this chapter is so long it will have to be split into two halves.Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a slash story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: NC-17 (very graphic/under age sex Cha Chapter 8 – Adventures In Voyeurism

“Oh my god! Did you hear about the maradures?”
“I heard Sirius turned them all into mice as a prank, you know? So they won’t talk to him now.”
“I heard he slept with all of them, and lied to them, said they were the only ones”
“That’s a likely story, he is such a slut! Martin Higelbow from Hufflepuff said he slept with almost every 7th year in all of the houses!”
“No way! Really?”
“I heard he slept with Snape and dumped him, that’s why he hates him so much!”
“That’s why the marauders are mad at him, they must have found out about it!”
“ I heard it had nothing to do with that, it was because he dumped them all in the forbidden forest without their wands as a prank and James and Remus got hurt! Fred Plenary saw them both in the infirmary two days ago…”

~ James’ p.o.v ~

I haven’t talked to him in 49 hours and 55 minutes, 56 minutes.
The whispers sound vicious and vindictive to my pained heart.
I long to stand up in his defense, but my guilt holds me back.
How can I miss him so much, yet wish to distance myself even further?
I try to make sense of all that has happened, and I find myself lacking, we all are, lacking, that is.
The halls of Hogwarts seem dull and colorless without his charismatic presence.
Remus walks by my side in faithful silence, my quiet solace.
Transfiguration never seems more tedious and uninspiring as today.
McGonagall’s strict voice carries over me in flowing rivulets of water, falsely lolling me to promised sanity.
This is madness. He sits but a few seats to my left, head bowed down over his books. Luscious black curls, protectively guarding his soulful purple eyes.
I had never seen him so still, so quiet; he seems almost like a statue, his beauty pain wracking and sorrowful, but not real, lifeless.
I can’t help but stare at him, coaxing him with my mind to meet my eyes, to smile at me, beautiful full red lips, stretch to w whw white even teeth, to show, to sparkle in the sun.
But he doesn’t look up, his stare is almost dreamlike, as he glares pointedly at the book on his desk, his long elegant fingers, trace across the open book’s pages, a perfect picture of studious bliss, but I know better.
The bell rings, we are excused to lunch, but I can’t bear to face the whispers, the rumors, they make it all seem so real, so final. I don’t want it to be final, I go there anyway.
Remcomfcomforting presence guides me, his strong hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing. Peter scurries behind us, his excited chatter hurts my delicate ears, his voice sounds so shrill in my quiet existence.
But I remain silent.

~ Sirius’ p.o.v ~

Did I hear the rumors? Yes I did, but surprisingly I can’t bring myself to care.
I’ve been called names, degraded, insulted and judged, all behind my back.
To my face, they say nothing, they touch me, hug me, pester me with fake smiles of false sympathy, I wish to drown away, but I’m on steady land.
I walk like a shadow through these halls, I can’t smile. Can’t think, it’s hard to separate what is real and what is trickery.
Were James’ eyes on me this morning, or am I imagining?
I must be, but that pale blue stare is so well known to me, so familiar.
I walk to my dorm room that I now share with several 5th years from various houses 2 from Ravenclaw, 1 from Hufflepuff and another from Gryffindor, all rejected from their houses and I feel anonymous in this room.
They know nothing of what has happened; only what they hear from the careless whispers traveling the school, they condemn me with their eyes, but I feel secure. They don’t know the depth of my betrayal; their accusing looks hold no power over me.
There is freedom in that, for which I’m grateful.

“Just so you know I don’t believe any of the rumors about you, but I’d love to have a chat with you, you can tell me anything you want..”
It’s a day later now; the rumors have reached all of the school, from first year to the last of the faculty members.
The approaches begin. First a nosey fifth year girl by the name of Penelope Brosweather, with phony understanding to hide her gossipy nature, tries to wring the truth from me, but I brush her off.
Then by more lewd suggestion, from the horny male population of Hogwarts that consists of surprisingly a frightening amount of 6th to 7th year Slytherins.
I decline them all.
The group of horny lads, is followed by none other then seemingly caring Hufflepuff girls, all on a crusade to save my tortured soul, I feel close to bursting when asked for the million times in this hour alone, whether I feel I need to talk.
Had I made such a bad reputation for myself that I am now by this reputation judged?
I had began to miss meals, just to avoid sitting in the great hall, the staring, the pointing, the vulgar remarks, don’t bother me, the distance I must keep from my friends does. To sit at the edge of the Gryffindor table, where once me and James had claimed the middle, hurts beyond measure.
To watch my friends laugh from the sidelines, no longer a part of pranks, jokes and foolish secrets, you know you will treasure to your grave, but it is no longer mine to keep, this pain is weighing me down.
Sleep evades me more often now; nightmares pursue me in my fitful slumber, so much that I fear sleep more than my overwhelming exhaustion, more then staying awake to face another day.
Where there were Remus and James to calm and sooth there is no one now.
I recall nothing of what I had dreamed, nothing but snakes and green lights. At times, I fear my sanity wavers upon the edge of a knife, all but a touch shall tumble me blindly over the edge, and I know not whether I wish it or not.
And so I mourn, no other word can dibe ibe my pain better, but I can’t bring myself to hate theot eot even at gunpoint, and so I hate myself instead. I loathe my recklessness, my lack of control, and wonder at my arrogance, my self assured idiocy, but I never doubt their claim, never doubt their pain and my guilt in causing it.

The week has finally ended and I had done my detentions under Professor Dale’s watchful eye. Yet no manual, degrading assignment I was ordered to do made me feel better, I had not yet served my punishment.
The weekend arrived and with it brought me a blessed release. I had nowhere I needed to be, no classes, no detention, I didn’t have to face anyone, the thought brought me so much comfort I was amazed at myself.
And so I found myself at my regular thinking spot, leaning against the sturdy trunk of my favorite apple tree, buskin in it’s shaded warmth, it’s strong branches shade me protectively not only against the sun, but against the outside world.
I spend hours lying on the moss covered ground, my eyes glued to another book, a quill in one hand and a blank parchment in the other, as I work on completing my homework and extra chores I received as part of my punishment.
The hours pass so quickly, the sunset, leaving in it’s passing a cold damp wind, that rudely lashed at my underthedthed body. I shiver at its relentless assault, but I cannot bare to leave this haven for the cold halls and recriminations I know awaits me, and so I stay, my quill scratching continuously on my parchment as I finish essay after essay.
I missed my meals, my growling stomach alerts me, but I still refuse to leave, my homework lie finished on the grass-covered floor, but I still would not budge.
The stars sparkled at me from their heavenly perch in the sky; the moon now no more than a thin line in the atmosphere, shrouded the ground with blue streaks of light. I cuddle closer to the ground, letting the comforting warmth loll me into sleep. The hour is late.

I was walkihrouhrough a village, it was unrecognizable to me, but it was burning, the smoke stung my eyes, filled my throat until I could do naught but cough.
The fire ate and consumed the little houses, painting the remains black.
No living thing lingered to walk through the burned destruction, none but me.
I could feel a presence around me, something powerful but so evil. A sharp coldness had invaded my body, stealing away the warmth of the fire. I knew the cold was not of my own , no, not of my fear, it was that entity.
I swiveled around trying to locate it, but all I saw was fire, surrounding me, circling me, the smoke rise again making me cough, my throat sore already, my eyes tearing.
And then I saw it, I didn’t know what it was, I turned away, but it was everywhere, controlling the fire around me, encouraging it to rise against me, to devour me.
The fire changed suddenly to form a face, a snakelike face, the fire crackling around the face was an unnat gre green.
The snake-like face raced towards me, it had black sinister eyes, and a toothless mouth, I opened my mouth to scream, as a hand made of green flame reached towards me...

I was being shaken to wakefulness but I feared to open my eyes.
“Sirius, wake up, you are dreaming”
I jumped at the sound of Dumbledore’s voice so close to my ear, my eyes opened in a frightened hurry, seeking around me the green flame, the burned village and the snake-like face. I found none.
“Professor, did you see it? The green flame? The snake-like face?”
For a minute Dumbledore said not a word, his ageless sparkling blue eyes trained on my own wary gaze, before he spoke.
“How long have you had this dream, Mister Black?” his voice was soft but demanding, I found myself answeringore ore I had even contemplated his question, much less my own answer to it.
“Several months now, sir, but..”
“But?” he questioned quietly. Should I tell him?
“But I have always had these nightmares, not always about the same thing, but always when I’m in Hogwarts, sir”.
He stared at me then, his look calculating, I had never seen him look at anyone thus, and so I took a step back from him.
He smiled at me sheepishly then.
“Go to your dorm room, Sirius, and do try not to fall asleep outside at night, you don’t want to break more school rules, do you?”
“No sir, I won’t do it again.”
“Good.”
I left hurriedly, the coldness that invaded me in my dream, still clung to my now fully woken body.
I turned back to see Dumbledore standing exactly where I had left him, his head upturned towards the night sky. I left.
I walked into my dorm room quietly, trying not to wake my roommates.
Groping my way to bed through the thick darkness of the room, I ran straight into a solid warm body.
“OH”
I couldn’t hold back a yelp of surprise.
Suddenly, the candles in the room sprung to life, I jumped back, feeling surrounded by flame looking for the snake-like face with it’s green flamed hand, there was none.
Before me stood a shamefaced house elf, he wore a dirty plaid blanket, whose colors had long since faded into dark smudges of unrecognizable stains.
“Nomry meant no harm young sir, Nomry was sent to give you thir”
r”
I looked down at his hands; he was carrying a tray with steaming food, a glass of fresh pumpkin juice and a bottle of some sort of potion.
“What is all of this Nomry?” I asked politely.
“Headmaster says you must eat it all and drink potion, then go to sleep, sir, he said to Nomry to not leave until you do. Nomry will never defy headmaster.”
“I see.” I said sitting down on my bed, I sighed and than looked up at Nomry’s big brown eyes, my stomach growled protesting at the enticing smell of well-cooked chicken with steamed vegetables and mash potatoes.
I gratefully took the tray and laid it on my knees, thanking Nomry quietly, asking him to please sit down. It seemed stupid for him to stand and wait for me to finish eating, and also highly uncomfortable for us both.
His big brown eyes looked up at me in surprise before he sat down on the ground, I invited him, to sit on my bed, he looked at me hesitantly before moving to sit by my side.
I devoured my meal and thanked him; I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until after I had finished my meal.
I drank the potion he had given me wordlessly, before thanking him and curling into the comfort of my strange, new bed.
A warmth filled my body instantly, as I suddenly yawned deeply, my eyes drooping quickly until it became a struggle to keep them opened, in mere seconds I knew no more.

~ Remus’ p.o.v ~

The anger in me had not yet dwindled away; I cling to it in desperate need, the rage keeps my anguish at bay, protects me from the cold harsh reality that threatens my sanity.
He could not have meant to hurt me; I know it to be true.
I miss his warm sunny presence around me, by my side. I miss comforting him after a night of haunting nightmares, his warm shaking body, wrapped tightly around me, his sleepy intoxicating fragrance, creating a circle of comfort around us, as he slowly drifts back to sleep in my arms.
I miss waking up to look at his bed, each morning, as his stark white pillow, graced with the sun’s early rays, shone, with glittering black-blue flame that was his silky curls.
I miss everything that is him, his quirky sensehumohumor, his indescribable loveliness, his fake bravado that hid his vulnerable inner beauty.
I barely see him now; he no longer eats at the great hall, no longer studies in the library, and no longer shares a room with us.
I had heard the petty whispers, my hmy heart had raged and ached at the acute viciousness of my peers, but I could not say a word, and for that I ached even more.

The day began as any other day, another morning without my sun god by my side, I looked across at his empty bed, hoping against hope to see a flash of blue flame, but there was none.
I got up and followed the slumped figure of James Potter, my dear friend that suffers as much if not more than me, behind us trailed Peter, his mind already consumed with breakfast. I knew I would not eat a morsel of food today.
We sat at our regular place, in the middle, the seat next to me, remained empty, in waiting for Sirius’ return to us.
James’ eyes as well as mine lingered on the entrance door all through breakfast, in hopes of catching a glimpse of the tall form of our lost friend. He never showed up.
The day continued in it’s dull and monotone course. We went from class to class, catching mere glances of grief stricken purple eyes, broad slumped shoulders, and bitten red lips.
He sat apart from us, at the side furthest from us in each class, he disappeared each time as soon as the bell had ringed, and it was on to the next class.
The day ended swiftly, but I could find no comfort in the mere glimpses of him, I needed to feast my eyes on his beautiful form, to memorize every dimple, every little shade of color that covered the surface of his eyes, every twitch of muscle in his body. To commit to memory, his sweet sensual voice, the sultry way his strong body moved, I had to keep his beauty and charm alive in my heart.
The urge to see him grew on a daily basis, until not even my rage could hold my heartache at bade.
And so I went to search for him, to seek him out at his favorite hiding place, beneath the charmed apple tree, near the forbidden forest, and I found him there instantly, only… he was not alone.

~ Peter’s p.o.v ~

Was I regretting the sudden break up of the mighty marauders?
To tell the truth, no!
One might ask me why I feel no remorse or acute sadness even?
I find it important to say I had never felt mighty nor a true marauder in all my time spent in Hogwarts.
To live ones life from one praise to another, is a life of emotional roller coaster, I longed to be let off the ride.
Without Sirius’ charming presence I had a place in this group, I was a person.
You see, Sirius steals the breath away from everyone, sucks the air from my existence, and he can’t be blamed for it, really.
But I have a place here, now, with him gone, James is mine, and there is air for me, there is still breath for me.
So I don’t hate him, I just resent him. I resent how he caught their hearts in his greedy but elegant hand, I resent being shoved to the sidelines by his magnificence, but the catch is that the same beauty blinds me. I am distracted by the same aura he releases into the atmosphere.
I had tried once, only once to compete for his affection, but his sharp mind and unchallengeable intellect had pierced through my attempt. He left me floundering behind, clutching at imaginary straws, and I clung to James even more.
And so the marauders stay divided, and I breathe freely of air charged with the sweet fragrance of freedom, and I feel no remorse.
And so I walk beside them, my chatter light-hearted and carefree as I cling to James with a new confidence that I only now am able to know.
And for that I refuse to feel remorse.
Who are you to judge me?

~ Sirius’ p.o.v ~

And so I sit here again. Ever since I had first fallen asleep beneath my tree and consequently had my run in with Dumbledore, my faithful companion Nomry has continuously delivered my meals to me, each morning, each noon and each evening.
The only being aside from the faculty and a few stray souls, who looked at me as a human being, a teenager, even. But I was not mocked for my weaknesses, nor frowned upon, and I found myself nearly weeping for joy at the ignorance I faced.
I sat beneath my tree in relative peace, as much as I could muster in this horrid situation I had placed myself in. but a shadow had now appeared before me, blocking the sun from my face, disrupting my serene world.
Annoyed, I looked up into the smiling face of Matthew Beaker, brown eyes twinkling merrily.
He sat down by my side, silently; I looked at him, a sour look of expectation on my face, as I waited to hear him say what I had heard from many others before.
I waited for him to offer sympathy, or perhaps a well-deserved shag that will “make me feel better”, but none came.
“How would you like to sneak into Hogsmead with me to an exclusive party being held by none other then milioner Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third. It’s the best party, it has booze, hot lads and plenty of good music and food, are you game?”
He looked at me, his gaze piercing me with conviction, I couldn’t say no, but I tried to anyway.
“No, I really shouldn’t I’m in enough trouble as is, I don’t want to add more to it. You go, have fun!”
“Oh no you don’t! This is just what you need! What else have you got to do, but be all sad and gloom? I won’t have beauty such as yours marred by sadness, and so you are going, I will pick you up at your dorm room tonight at 10pm sharp, your detention will be finished by then, and you will have about 45 minutes to dress up and look gorgeous. See you tonight, don’t be late!”
And with these last words he kissed my cheek warmly and left. I found myself trembling with a lust I had never felt before, it wasn’t a sexual lust, it was a human lust. A lust for contact, human contact.
Until Matthew had kissed my cheek I had not realized how I missed the ordinary, loving human contact I was so used to receive from my friends. A mere hand caressing my head gently, massaging my scalp. A warm hug from James for no apparent reason, Remus’ comforting touch through my troubled nightmares, his kind eyes and sweet voice lolling me back to sleep, as my body lay cradled in his warmth.
I yearned for that contact, but it was now denied from me, so I knew what I had to do.
I would sleep with a guy tonight, nothing serious, of course, but just for the touch, that’s all I want, to feel cherished by another human being.
That’s all.

“Are you ready Sirius? We have to go!”
Matthew was already pounding on my door, luckily my roommates were all in the library cramming for a test in transfiguration, I on the other hand, had no need to study, and I had no assignments to complete, I was free to go out and have a good time, provided of course that I won’t get caught leaving or returning from said party.
“How is that? Do I look ok?”
I turned around to look into Matthew’s deep brown eyes. He stared at me, his mouth agape, his eyes raking over my nervous form.
I knew I was good looking, of course, but I had never been to a party like the one I was expected to come to, tonight, so naturally I knew not whether I was dressed accordingly.
I had decided to wear my festive dark blue robes, with even darker blue trimmings. The robe in question was surprisingly tight enough to mold itself to my figure, yet I could move quite freely.
Another advantage in this particular robe was that it made my purple eyes stands out more and was much easier to take off quickly, if the situation called for it, of course.
Matthew shook himself out of his revive with a soft cough. I couldn’t control my laughter at the look of dream like fascination and lust that clouded his chocolate brown eyes.
“You.. Um.. You look really good Sirius, I mean it! Very good!”
I chuckled softly at his stammering answer, before tucking a lose curl behind my ear and leaving my dorm room, with him in tow.

We arrived twenty minutes later, we meaning Matthew, me and three other 6th year Ravenclaws that I knew were close friends of Matthew.
The house were the party was held, if it could be called a house at all, more of a mansion, laid at the very end of Hogsmead, which of course involved the five of us walking all across the village with nothing but our thin festive robes to arrive to the mansion.
A fifteen-minute walk later, we arrived at the tall black gate that guarded the “house” in question.
We stood uncertain at the gate, before Charlie and Kaiser had taken it upon themselves to enter, mainly because we were all freezing and anxious for some adventure.
The gate would not budge, not even when all five of us used our considerable strength against it.
“Great! What now? We go back to Hogwarts?” whined Terry, a lock of platinum blonde hair falling into his wary gray eyes repeatedly, while he pushed it off, only for it to return to its rightful place, over his face.
“We are not going back! I did not freeze my arse to get all the way here without enjoying the party, so if Muhammad won’t come to the mountain, the mountain will definitely come to Muhammad.”
Kaiser stomped off in a rage, towards the annoying gate, that was the only obstacle in our way towards warmth and a good time.
“Open up now you accursed thing!”
None of us expected it to work, magical artifacts rarely respond well to anger and reproach. So imagine our surprise when the gate opened before us slowly but surly?
We stepped past the gate cautiously, almost sure the gate will slam shut while we were still passing through, it did no such thing.
The path we now walked on was unpaved and uneven; leading straight to the party we searched for.
We arrived swiftly at the doorstep of the mansion that I could now see was even larger than the one the commune and I lived in.
I had never seen a mansion as big as this one; it was more of a palace than a mansion or a house.
The mansion was dyed in a soothing cream color, the property surrounding the 8-floor monstrosity, was green and lavish, the intoxicating scent of jasmine in the air mixed with the scent of ripe apples, created a heady aroma that combined with the cold night air, supplied us all with a deep sense of intrigue and excitement, I felt seduced by my green surroundings.
The trees swayed to a rhythm of their own, a mesmerizing dance of branches and leaves, as though the whole magnificent garden was designed for a purely hedonistic pleasure.
The trickle of fresh water reached my ears suddenly, I trained my watchful eyes to the left side of the garden as before our eyes, the old, dirtied fountain sparkled with shining bright lights, water now streamed freely from it’s faucets, creating a small waterfall of bright colors and cool water.
The garden around us was littered with candles, adding to the seductive aura of the Eden-like paradise we found ourselves in.
The wide doors of the main entrance opened for us expectantly, the sharp chatter of people conversing broke through the sensual haze I plunged into in the garden.
My companions and I walked inside the house, watching as the doors closed behind us firmly, I couldn’t help but feel utterly seduced, ravaged by the aromas of jasmine and apples, the soft clinking sound of glasses as several unknown people raised wine filled flutes into the air and toasted the splendor of this night.
I agreed full heartedly with them.
I looked around the expensively decorated room, a ballroom, on the far side I could see the band of violinists, a pianist and several other musicians, from trumpeters to guitarists, playing dedicatedly and with no respite.
Music flowing from their strong instrument like water from the rusty old fountain, the sound clear and pure, adding it’s own bewitching quality to the already captivating ambiance.
The east side of the room was laden with tables groaning from the weight of the deliciously cooked food.
The food in itself was an aphrodisiac, not even Hogwarts holiday feasts could surmount the lovely scents of grilled meat, fried fish, both spiced with seasoning I could not pronounce much less recognize, as well as bathed in different sweet tasting sauces.
Potatoes baked with sugared yams, onions, and various vegetables, cooked and stewed
Followed by chocolate cakes, marmalade toppings, strawberry delicacies, I didn’t know, but their deliciously fresh taste and juicy flesh caused me to moan helplessly at the mere thought of taking another bite out of this sugary pastry.
My companions dug into the offered delicacies with eager enthusiasm, pilling food on top of several plates, before scurrying off to find a sit where they could peacefully devour their own riches, in semi privacy.
I followed suit, less exuberant, but thrilled none the less.
I sat at a chair off to the side, quietly enjoying my meal, while looking out at the room before me.
The expensive furniture, chandeliers and tapestries, did nothing to me, if anything I preferred the seductive beauty of the garden outside, but the cold weather had forced all sane people inside, to bask at the warmly lit fireplace.
The room as I quickly noticed, contained no women at all, or any older man, for that matter.
In fact I would go, as far as to say that no man above the age of 25 was present in this party.
That seemed quite odd. But then perhaps this is what some would refer to as a gay party.
For some reason I felt relived to be surrounded only by men, especially when the purpose of the party soon became clear, as I watched several “couples” leave the dance floor, wrapped in each other arms, lips locked in a passionate embrace, tongues tangling fiercely in a battle as ancient as time itself.
The couples quickly retreated to secluded areas, far from observant glances of their fellow partiers.
My companions hastily finished their sumptuous meals and joined the dancing mass, each hooking up with a very handsome man.
And I say men, because we were the youngest guests in this party, and I still had no idea how Matthew knew of this party, much less got invited to it.
I watched as one by one my companions disappeared, their handsome escorts in tow.
Matthew’s piercing brown gaze locked with mine, across the crowded dance floor, he flashed me a cheeky grin, before disappearing up the stairwell leading to the upstairs bedrooms, a gorgeous tall blonde in tow.
I took a deep breath and decided that tonight I will do whatever I wanted to do, and not have to worry about people watching me, pointing, gossiping, I would not be judged.
I had just stepped onto the dance floor and was immediately flooded with suitors, one of them was a tall dark haired lad; he looked to be 18, which I found more reassuring.
His hair was ebony black, much like James, his eyes a deep shade of hazel, much like Remus.
But he was nothing like them, the look in his eyes was so different from theirs, when he looked at me, he didn’t see my betrayal, he didn’t think me unworthy, he found me desirable, beautiful even, and I so needed that.
To have someone want my company again, even if all he wanted was my body, there was no guilt to be felt over this matter.
He asked me to dance, I agreed.
My arms wrapped around his thin waist, before sliding down to cup his arse.
He looked up at me, a knowing smirk on his face.
He told me his name but I didn’t listen, didn’t care.
The musicians played a soft, slow jazz song, I had never heard, but the music was so soulful, so poignant, that the air I breathed held an even stronger fragrance of vitality, exhilaration, and so I kissed him.
I pressed my sure lips against his surprised pair.
At first he stayed completely still, stunned at my boldness.
But then his soft lips opened under mine, I wasted no time slipping my tongue past his parted lips, into the slick warmth of his mouth, his eyes drifted shut, quickly followed by my own.
My tongue explored his mouth in a leisure pace, as I tried to drown into him, into his strong yet pliant body, I wanted to bury myself inside of him, so I could never feel any coldness again.
My kiss was unhurried and masterful, until he couldn’t help but gasp against my mouth’s insistent assault, the breathy sound vibrating through me, until I moaned at the sheer desire that coursed through my veins.
The touch was so comforting, so human; I felt like weeping, I was not nearly as strong as I thought myself to be. Normally that would have upset me deeply, but right then in his arms I couldn’t care less.
As long as my mouth was on his, my tongue plundering him senseless, the world could disappear to oblivion and I wouldn’t care.
We broke apart breathless, our foreheads gently touching, eyes fluttering open carefully, pupils adjusting once more to the blearing light of the thousands candles scattered around the ball room.
“I don’t know about you, but I could use a stiff drink right about now!”
His amber eyes stared into mine with such intense passion, that I could feel my own lust and want heighten; my face suffused with blood, my cock hardening beneath my dark blue robes.
“I think I’d rather have something more stiff in my mouth than a drink” I replied, keeping my voice low and sultry.
Had James or Remus been here, they would have laughed at my lame line, I might have laughed with them as well, but they were not here, I reminded myself, focusing once again on the handsome stranger I already kissed once tonight and was looking forward to kissing again and doing much more before the evening came to it’s inevitable end.
His gaze became glassy with desire, his eyes locked on my kiss-bruised lips.
When I caught his gaze on my mouth, I immediately slid my agile wet tongue across my swollen lips, moaning softly at his lingering masculine taste.
He groaned deeply then, his lips crushing against mine, stealing the breath from my moist lips.
His lips ruthlessly attacking mine, nibbling on my lower lip, until I moaned brokenly against his assaulting mouth.
My lips already felt so sensitive, so swollen, it made me fell wanton, lustful, one might even say sluty?
We broke apart abruptly.
“Stay right here, I just want to get one drink. Please stay!”
I nodded wordlessly, watching him scramble through the crowds, towards the bar that stood next to the refreshment stands.
I glanced about me, meeting several heated looks from the couples on the dance floor, but there was one gaze that I could feel was different from all the rest, the glance was so intense, I felt as though I was being stripped bare of all my defenses, left to flounder through the murky waters by myself.
I was so unnerved by the mere feeling of the heated gaze that I felt compelled to seek out the cause of this disturbance, I found him instantly, he stood out in the crowd of vibrant young men dressed in fancy robes in every color known to men.
But he was different; he was older than all of them, he looked to be in his mid-thirties, his hair a deep honey color, already graying on the sides, his eyes were amazingly moss green.
Strong hawk like features, soften only by the uncanny glint of desire that gleamed in his green pools.
The air around us crackled with awareness, I shivered in fright, not expecting to feel so drawn to a man more than twice my age, but here I was now, feeling the same lust I felt a mere second ago with my anonymous new admirer, or was I feeling something else now?
He stepped closer towards me, so I could see how richly dressed he was, the aura of strength and assurance was so palpable that I quickly summed up that he was the master of this house, he was none other than Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third.
He was now walking towards me, his strides sure and confident, as though he knew that whatever he would ask of me I would welcome.
I didn’t realize how tall he was until he reached me, stopping a mere two steps away from me, he was at least a good six inches my superior in height.
I felt like a child before his shrewd gaze, I flushed in embarrassment, not daring to meet his expectant stare.
His hand reached towards me then, a strong, well-manicured palm caressed my cheek reverently, before tracing my swollen red lips with his fore finger.
My lips parted of their own accord, I could feel his finger slip past my parted lips, tracing across the soft heated flesh of my lips.
His finger tried to slip further inside my mouth, but the arrival of my previous admirer, quickly brought the shocking incident to its bittersweet end.
“Sorry it took so long, but I’m back and ready for something a bit more stiff, what do you say to a lovely walk outside, to see the wonderful garden?”
He winked suggestively at me, unaware of the incident that took place a mere second ago.
I nodded wordlessly, my blood already warmed from my encounter with the eccentric milioner, my eyes still glued to his retreating form.
I turned away from the disappearing figure, trying to calm my racing heart, but the thought of having sex in that enchanted garden, with the intriguing reclusive milioner only increased my already racing heart.
And so I linked my arm with my admirer’s and allowed him to guide me outside, but I could still feel that piercing gaze on my body, shivering I turned back once again, countering the man’s purposeful gaze with a defiant one.
I turned away from him and refocused my attention on my new escort’s warm body and strong physique.
He walked me behind the huge mansion, leading me towards a wall that sealed off the land from view.
The wall was covered with green vines, which had already filled with pink blootheitheir fragrance sweeter than the jasmine scent; I closed my eyes and inhaled their heady perfume deeply.
He slowly turned me towards him, pushing me back against the wall, his hand already tangling in my hair as he sought to bring us closer, to press our heated mouths together, I complied quickly, ravishing his lips with mine, our teeth clinking against each other, my hand already in his short black hair, caressing his scalp encouragingly.
I spun him around, pressing his robe covered back against the wall, my hands busy opening the fastening of his robes, my tongue plunging between his moist lips, dueling with his tongue, sucking the tormented flesh into the warmth wetness of my mouth. Before retreating to suck the soft flesh of his lower lips between my own swollen lips, I nibbled on the abused flesh; raking my teeth across it, only to release it completely and plunge my tongue back inside of his hot cavern.
His festive robes soon slithered to the ground, followed closely by his briefs; he wore nothing else underneath his robes.
He shivered in my arms not only from the crisp night air, but also from the desire that enflamed his body.
His strong hands were already working on the fastening of my own dark blue robes.
Sliding down my warm chest, caressing, patting, exploring, my flat stomach, my taut nipples.
I bit my lip softly, trying to stifle a moan as he tweaked a pert pink nipple, twirling his long fingers around the little aroused nub.
The soft fabric of my robe caressed my trembling form as the wind lashed viciously at my exposed back and calves, while the robe slithered past my ankles to the grass covered ground, next to my soon to be lover’s robe.
We had both stopped kissing, leaning on to each other’s warmth while we took off our boots, craving the feel of the cool grass beneath our bare feet while we embraced.
Boots thrown off in haste, a smirk of mischievous naughtiness upon our swollen-kissed lips.
Our eyes met in a mixture of amusement and desire, inflamed lips meeting again in a fierce kiss, breaths mingling as our tongues tangled playfully, the kiss powerfully melting any thought of propriety from our lust driven minds.
Warm hands caressed, pinched, teased every inch of trembling flesh, creating a blaze of desire in its wake.
I wasted no time, attaching my lips to his neck, sucking and licking at the length of the proud column of flesh.
He sighed deeply in my ear, offering more of his strong neck, to my questing tongue, but I had already lost myself in his warm chest, my mouth traveling downward, following my curious hands, licking across the broad chest, the hardened tips protruding from beneath the black hairy mast that covered his torso, past the muscled stomach, down the “happy trail” towards his hardening member, jutting proudly upwards, strong and slick. I caressed it reverently between my fingers, stroking gently over the warm skin, feeling the organ swell and thicken in my gentle grip.
He moaned, his voice low and guttural, the harder I stroked.
The pearly white subst had had already appeared at the tip, and I could not help but wish to taste him, licking my full lips involuntarily.
He groaned again, pulling me towards his lips, tongue pushing past my parted lips, sweeping across my moist lips to ravage my bruised mouth.
I broke the kiss, dropping down on the grassy floor of the garden, wasting no time, I began licking the twitching hard organ, licking across the silky shaft, probing the slit with the tip of my tongue, tasting the salty pearly drops of his pre-cum, moaning appreciatively as his cock slid past my parted lips, down my throat, only to slip out again.
I sucked the retreating organ back inside, my mouth chasing it as it drew out, attempting to pull it back into the hot cavern of my mouth.
I moaned piteously each time my mouth was empty, longing for more of that hard flesh between my bruised lips, down my hungry throat.
I heard nothing, saw nothing but that beautiful cock, sliding in and out of my mouth, the thrusts became harder, deeper with each passing moment, my partners hips’ jutting forwards, propelling his hard length deeper into my mouth, but I was beyond coherent thought, not caring whether I gagged or not, as long as I could feel something, some warmth, some human contact, I cared for nothing else.
His manhood, swelled in my battered mouth, as more pearly white liquid streamed down my throat, coating the inside of my mouth and slicking my lips, I had to stop, but I couldn’t help swipe my tongue a few more times, across the vein beneath the head, nibbling gently on the tip, caressing his balls soothingly, as I slowly b con contact and rose to my feet.
We kissed again, more demandingly, my lips crushed again, until the soft flesh throbbed faintly from all the abuse it had borne, but I cared not.
He broke the kiss softly, reaching into his discarded robes, he pulled out his wand, leaning back, he preformed the necessary spells, lubricating his tight entrance generously with lube, and then repeating the charm on my
Hardened cock.
He leaned back, sighing as the night’s cool air, chilled his heated body, closing his darkened hazel eyes, while balancing his body against the stone wall, one leg propped on my shoulder, exposing his body to my questing eyes and hands.
My fingers, stroked his weeping cock, a few times, only to cup and massage the full weight of his balls, before inserting one finger inside of him.
The muscles guarding the tight channel, convulsed around my finger, pulling it deeper inside of the warm crevice, I started to trust my finger. In and out, fascinated as always to watch it disappear inside the delicate tunnel.
I added a second finger, stretching and scissoring them inside, before curling them upward, searching and pressing on the delicate nub of nerves, hidden deep within.
“Oh”
He gasped, panting softly, his warm breath tickling my expose neck.
A third finger joined the other two, until he groaned deeply, demandingly.
“Take me already, I’m prepared”
My fingers slid out unhurriedly, feeling as he twitched with anticipation and need, but I moved at my own pace, leaning into him, his leg, now higher upon my shoulder, exposing the gaping hole to my view, I grasped my hard member in my hand, positioning it against the cleft, impatient he pressed against me, attempting to force my cock inside, but I chuckled quietly, pulling away just enough to deny him his desire.
He sighed with frustration, a blazing golden glare holding my amused stare.
And then I leaned back into his warm embrace, thrusting inside the tight entrance, with one hard thrust, feeling the walls of his rectum constrict around my cock, until I could no longer hold my own moan of pleasure.
It rose out of my body, carried upon the exhaled breath that burst through my swelled lungs, joining my lover’s own cry of satisfaction.
I lingered no further, pulling out only to hurriedly thrust back inside, my cock, bumping into that small bundle of nerves buried deep within my raven-haired beauty.
I thrusted harder, impaling him upon my rock hard cock, wishing I could split him in two from the mere force of my thrusts.
My hand reached for his neglected erection, stroking the hard organ, feeling it swell impossibly in my hand, before with an ear splitting cry he climaxed in my hand, spilling himself across his stomach and onto my hand that still pumped the softening member.
My lips crushed against his again, my tongue imitating the thrusts of my cock inside of him.
I was already close to my own climax, but suddenly something felt wrong, I could feel eyes upon me, I lifted my head from my lover’s bruised neck, my eyes widening with shock, my body stilling as I looked into the calculating green gaze of Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third.
I waited for him to acknowledge me, but he did not, for long minutes I did nothing, refusing to move within my companion’s warm embrace, my cock still deeply imbedded inside of his tight hole, still hard, aching for completion, that I feared granting, not while that shrewd but lusting gaze was upon me.
He was hidden in the shadows so only I could see him, my companion could not, but he was not hiding, merely staying out of sight, he did not cower behind a bush, nor did he blend with the earth, no, he stood quietly, observing the occurrence with a dispassionate glance, but the heat of his glare belying the off handed expression.
My impatient companion, began pumping his hips, attempting to draw me back into the forgotten rhythm, I felt the pain of my halted orgasm, propelling me to move again, but I could not tear my eyes from the still figure.
A few more hard thrusts and my eyes closed, my mouth parted as I cried out my pleasure into the cold night air, my body blazing with hot fire, almost incinerating me alive, my orgasm more powerful than ever before, as I climaxed deep within my lover, while the irritating green gaze burned my back with a cold flame of reality.
I slumped against my companion’s tall figure, my body still shuddering from the aftermath of my powerful climax.
A strong wind slashed at us, reminding us both that the whether outside was too cold for outdoor activities, much less nude activities, we parted quickly, my eyes automatically drawn to the spot I had seen the eccentric milioner last, he was no longer there.
In that surprising second, I almost believed his appearance had been nothing but a mirage created by my lusting mind, but the intensity of the gaze could not have been a fantasy, that I knew.
I dressed in my robes quickly, not glancing at all at my companion, as he had by now already finished dressing and took his place before me.
I was startled out of my revive by his warm lips, kissing me softly, not attempting to deepen the kiss, simply caressing my lips with his.
And then the gentle touch was gone.
“That was wonderful, thank you, I do hope we will meet again, but before I leave, tell me your name, my fair beauty”
I laughed quietly, whispering in his ear, I told him my name.
“Sirius”
And we parted forever, I never asked his name.

~ Remus’ p.o.v ~

Enough is enough! I could take this no longer; the pain of Sirius’ absence had already outweighed the pain of his betrayal.
I forgave him, I knew but I feared that perhaps James hadn’t, and I did not know how to approach the subject.
I missed him so much, I felt crippled.
I had never felt crippled in my life, not even with my accursed disease, but Sirius made me feel whole, life was brighter with him around.
The sky was a light blue, the birds sang, all was right with my world.
He has this aura of life and light, and I feared living in the shadow, he was my guiding light, my strength.
The days wore on, mingling into each other, all the same, their monotone routine, sickened me, devoured me, I almost longed for the full moon to arrive, simply to break this routine, to break me away from this pain.
There was bliss in unconsciousness, the wolf for all it’s fault, took away my awareness, and gave me peace of mind, amnesia of some sort, and though I feared it more than I could explain, I also longed for it now.
I needed the oblivion it granted, to not feel so much, so fast. Falling so deep into Sirius, as I had, and to now in the aftermath float without a lifesaver through the ocean’s stormy seas, was destroying me, crippling me, I needed my lifesaver, my Sirius.
I looked about the common room, it was already past 2 am, I still could find no rest, my mind unbeknownst to me until now, had awaited Sirius’ return to the Gryffindor tower, forgetting he no longer resided in it.
“What are you still doing up, Rem?”
James’ worried voice broke through the hazy tired recollection of my jumbled mind, I smiled softly.
“I could ask you the same thing, Jamie.” I stated.
“I couldn’t sleep, Rem, I keep thinking about this rift between us, trying to make sense of things, but it hurts so much to stay away, Rem, I never thought it would feel so bad, so painful.”
James broke down, I felt the same way. Relief poured through my broken heart, I could finally speak to James, try to make sense of this mess with him, and maybe, just maybe we could take back Sirius, become whole again.
I placed my arm on James tense shoulder in a show of support.
“I feel the same way James, I was afraid to say anything, but I feel I need to tell you, I want Sirius back with us, I want the maradures back. Punishing all of us had solved nothing, I’m not saying all is forgotten, but I think the rift should end, I don’t want to feel lost anymore James.
I had been lost for such a long portion of my life, a wanderer, seeking a place to belong, but I found it and I’m not giving it up. That place James is with you, with Peter and with Sirius, here at Hogwarts.”
I became silent then, fearing I had said too much, I was not used to spilling so much about my inner thoughts, my inner pain, Sirius would tell me that friends should hold nothing back from each other, but even he had failed the ultimate test, he had betrayed a trust. My trust.
I glared into the dying ambers of the fire still feeling the lingering warmth of the fire that blazed a mere two hours ago.
“I agree, Rem”
We spoke no further words that night, sitting side by side, watching the sun come up, the early morning skies painted with blues and pinks, fluffy white clouds, taking the place of deep gray rain clouds, the morning dew glistening upon the green earth, it was truly a glorious morning, and I was happy to share it with James, but even more I was resolved in my heart, relinquished from the impossible mock hate I had condemned myself to.
And it felt easy to smile, to laugh.


end of part one