Doubts and Desires

A/N: Thank you for the reviews again! I appreciate them so much!


Chapter Nine: First Date


Severus had asked for the house elves to fix some meals that they knew Hermione to like. He had figured that they could use the table in his kitchen. Forcing himself to sit down, he examined the place. He was trying to make a good impression while at the same time look like he did nothing special for her. “Why do I even care so much? It’s NOT a date.” he told himself out loud as he stood up again and began to straighten up some things. Good thing, it’s not a date, Severus, or you would have gone completely insane, he thought as he glanced in the mirror. He was wearing his normal clothes without the robes and overcoat. He heard a knock on his door and quickly went over to answer it. “Good evening, Hermione,” he said as he let her in while taking in the sight of her.

Hermione knew that it wasn’t a date, but she decided to dress a little nicer. She found a nice simple dark burgundy dress with one of her tighter black robes over it that showed off some curves. She had pulled her hair back in a simple silver hair barrette. Catching herself looking in the mirror more times than she did even for the opening feast, she made herself go downstairs after leaving another note on the Hospital Wing door. She had just barely knocked on the door when he answered it. It was nice to see him without so much clothing on, and she blushed slightly at the sound of that thought in her head. “Good evening, Severus.”

“Dinner should be here in a little bit. Would you care for a glass of wine?” he inquired.

She nodded. “Yes, please.” He motioned for her to have a seat and went to get the wine. She sat down on the sofa and glanced around. Although he kept his place quite organized, it looked tidier than before, and she wondered if he had straightened up a bit because she had come.

He came back in and handed her the glass of wine. He then sat down at the other end of the sofa and took a sip of the wine. “How are things at the Hospital Wing?”

She took the offered glass and smiled at him. “It’s going well. I have busy days for the most part. I dread Quidditch season though. It’s already begun with the practices, and I’ve already had to repair a broken nose and one had a concussion.”

“You are a good mediwitch. The students are lucky to have you.” He stated sincerely.

She smiled. “Thank you. How are your Potions classes? I know that it hasn’t been easy since the accident.”

He glanced away from her and took a long sip of wine. “Well, they are going well considering. The students have actually behaved for the most part, and I’ve had fewer detentions to hand out.” He looked into his wine as he swished it around in the glass. “I haven’t had them actually work on any potions though since the…the accident.”

She scooted over and sat closer beside of him and gently patted his knee. “I know, Severus. You are the best potions professor this school has ever had. You just need to get back to potions again.”

He looked at her hand on his knee and then at her, nodding. “How is your graduate studies going?”

She smiled and removed her hand from his knee. “Wonderful. I’m waiting to hear how I did with my first essay.”

“I’m sure you did perfect as usual.” He noticed that dinner was ready and stood up, hesitantly offering her a hand. “Dinner is ready.”

She smiled again that he thought that she would do perfect on it. She took his hand, feeling how warm and nice it was. She followed him into the kitchen and sat down in the offered seat. She saw the dishes and grinned. “These are my favorites! How did you know?”

He sat down across from her. “I have my ways,” he said as he gave her a mysterious grin.

She laughed and got some of the food on her plate. They ate with idle chitchat that seemed to fall short as both seemed to become nervous again. After dessert, Hermione looked at him. “Are you ready to help me with a potion?”

Slowly, he nodded and stood up, knowing that the house elves would come to clear it away. They went into his potions lab that had only been used by her the last few times. He watched as she began to prepare the ingredients. His hands began to sweat slightly. He didn’t know if he could do this, despite the fact that he had made this potion numerous times over the years. It was a pretty powerful pain-relieving potion.

She glanced over at him, noticing that he was rather frozen to his spot. She went over to him and gently hooked her arm into his, leading him forcibly over to the table. “Now, Severus, I wouldn’t do anything that would harm you. Begin by preparing Wormwood.” She suddenly leaned up and kissed him on the cheek in hopes that would help him calm down more.

He smiled softly at the kiss and forced himself to pick up the knife and begin to prepare the Wormwood. He pushed the fears and doubts away the best he could, finding it easier to do this in her presence. After a while, he was practically taking over the potion making. “Hermione, let me help you with that,” he said as he went behind her and guided her hands in slicing the Burdock into finer slivers that would be just perfect for the potion.

She was surprised and amazed at his progress. He would barely touch the ingredients, and now in a three hours time, he was taking over and even helping her slice the last ingredient. His hand firmly and surely guided hers. She could feel the heat from him as he brushed against her back. She hadn’t quite realized that he had moved away from her until she saw him adding the last ingredient and stirring the potion. He finished stirring it and lowered the heat where the potion would have to simmer for ten minutes before being finished. She smiled brightly at him. “You did it.”

He looked over at her as he stepped away from the cauldron to let it simmer. He had done it. He had gotten over the fear and the doubts and had managed to make the potion. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” he stated softly and silkily. He wasn’t sure if he could do it by himself, but it was a step in the right direction.

She went over and stood in frof hof him. “I didn’t do much, Severus. You just had to get back into it. You just had to feel safe again.”

He nodded and reached up, lightly touching her cheek. He remembered their first kiss and wanted to kiss her again, but he didn’t dare. He was not willing to risk scaring her away and ruining what friendship they had.

She didn’t move away from his touch and nuzzled her cheek lightly against his hand. She smiled up at him. She didn’t realize how long they just stood like that gazing at each other in that position until he broke away from her. “The potion is ready,” he said, already beginning to place it in the vials. Her knees felt rather weak, and she lightly leaned against the table as she watched him expertly bottle the potion. “We’ll have to do this another time,” she stated.

He glanced over at her as he finished with the last bottle. “Yes, we will. Let me carry these up for you.”

“Thank you,” she said as they walked together up to the Hospital Wing. Neither one of them talked on the way up or while Hermione was taking the vials and putting the in the storage cabinet, although they stole glances at each other when the other one wasn’t looking. She finished with the last one and took the box from him, placing it in the corner. “Thank you again, Severus, for helping me.” She reached up and touched his cheek. “It was a lovely evening, and you made quite a bit of progress as well.”

He gave her a rare, genuine smile and took her hand in his. “You are welcome, Hermione. We will have to do this again.” His dark eyes gazed into her eyes as he brought her hand up and lightly brushed his lips against it before releasing her hand.

She smiled and felt herself blush as she felt mesmerized by his gaze and the feel of his lips that stayed on her hand even after he had removed them. “Thank you for the date,” she said with a playful laugh and winked at him.

He grinned mischievously. “Until next time, Hermione.” He slightly bowed to her and left quickly. He needed to get out of there before he was going to push her against the wall, bring her lips into a bruising kiss, and push that lovely dress up to her waist. He felt like he was playing with fire, especially since he figured that she would never think of him the same way. She was so beautiful and brilliant and kind and perfect, and he knew that he could never have her. He was going to have to settle for her friendship and be grateful for that, he reasoned as he entered his quarters to take a cold shower to calm down his own excitement.

Hermione leaned against the wall and sighed contently. Her hand was still tingling from where his lips were on it. She had never felt anything before like what she did with him. She knew that she could get lost in his dark eyes. Sighing again as she let her hands run lightly over the curves of her breasts as she could imagine him doing that. She shook her head. “He’s your patient and your friend, Hermione. Get a grip.” she told herself as she decided to focus on getting some written work done. At least the day had gone better than earlier. She hoped that he would have more ‘dates’ with her. She truly enjoyed his company and liked the whole other side of him that he had shown besides just the gr git git of a potions master one.

A/N: Again, please review. I do love to get feedback.