How Severus Spends His Summer Hols

DISCLAIMER: JKR owns everything that is in reference to the Harry Potter world if it is in one of my works of fiction. If it is not found in one of her creations, then it is mine unless otherwise stated. I am not making any profit from the writing of this story.

. A/N~Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. First the bad news, my hands have gotten to the point that at this time in the year is sheer torture to be typing. So that is something I will be doing very little of.

Now for the good news. At the beginning of the week I purchased one of the Dragon speak vocal programs for my computer. That is why this chapter is so long, I\'m now able to include so much detail I was not previously able to. I do hope that I do not bore my readers by my new found verbosity. I am simply putting in everything that I would have before if I had been pain-free.

I must give many thanks to golden snitch and unbroken halo for beta’ing this chapter. I\'m sure it has not been easy system microphone has caught many of my odd little speech patterns and translated them into who knows what. Many thanks as well to unbroken halo for her help with the ritual used for the Dreamwalk.

Now, as to this chapter, this is Harry\'s Dreamwalk. I am giving you plenty of warning now that the memories Severus sees are extremely graphic. SERIOUS child abuse is described. I think by now that you\'ve realized that I do not to give warnings lightly so if you wish to skip this chapter I will understand. For those of you who do read this chapter bear in mind that the memories that Lucius ripped from Morgan\'s mind are easily 10 times worse than these and I do intend to show them to you. I do apologize that it took me a week to get this chapter to you, but I was learning the intricacies of the new program.


Before long everyone was in place and waiting as Allie drew the sacred Circle with sea salt in a thick line on the hardwood floor of the living room, leaving a section open for the others to enter.

One by one they came forth into the Circle and arranged themselves as Grant directed. Damon resting on a pile of pillows with Harry cradled with his back against his chest and a light blanket arranged over the younger man. Max at Harry’s side with a muggle blood pressure cuff on Harry’s upper arm and the vial containing the sedative at his side. Max’s medical bag was at his side as well.

Grant lowered himself down to an identical pile of pillows next to his husband and waited as Severus made himself comfortable against his chest. Allie lowered all the lights in the room and looked to Grant to make sure that he was ready for her to continue. At his nod she stepped forward and completed the Circle with the salt.

She moved about the Circle to where her altar had been set up, lighting candles and incense in offerings to the deities, bowing her head for a moment in reverence before standing. Raising her open hands over her head she began to call down Power into the Circle and ask for protection for Severus and Harry.

Everyone within the Circle could feel the energy pulse and flow through their veins as Allie continued to chant. She moved forward, picking up Severus and Harry’s hands and binding them loosely with twisted ropes made of freshly gathered hay.

Severus watched her closely, not having been present before for what he had always considered women’s magic. He was fascinated by the sheer power emanating from the small woman. Without thinking, he sipped as she held the cup containing the peyote infusion to his lips. Instantly his stomach revolted at the taste of the contents, but he swallowed hard and took a deep breath to force himself from being sick.

“In this Circle rightly cast, Safe from psychic curse or blast, I call you now attend to He, That seeks the knowledge without harm, As He will so shall it be,” Allie chanted as she tipped the cup again for him to drink once more. “Perfect Love and Perfect Trust will help you complete what you must.” With that she daubed his wet mouth with a cloth and gave him a tender smile before she moved on to Grant.

Severus watched as Damon positioned Harry carefully in his arms to where the young wizard was comfortable and then waited as Max tipped the vial containing the sedative to his lips. Harry drank deeply and then leaned his head back against his father-in-law’s chest, turning his head just so that he could hear the steady heartbeat. Severus felt Harry’s fingers tighten over his and answered in kind, he knew his younger husband was afraid and if he were to be honest, so was he.

Short minutes later Severus began to realize the peyote was affecting him in rather interesting ways; he was beginning to hallucinate small things along his peripheral vision. Wait…Grant was talking to him. He was giving him instructions. He should listen, this might be important. Harry looked like he was taking a nap now, he looked so peaceful. Why was Grant poking him?

“Sev, listen to me now. Hold my hand, we are going to meet your guide,” Grant said. Severus’ head lolled back on the older man’s chest, he was trying to figure out why it sounded like Grant was so far away when he was right here. “Close your eyes Severus and listen to my voice.”

Max watched as his old friend began to tremble, the effects of the peyote were starting to show. He moved over beside him and gently picked up Severus’ wrist to check his pulse; it was well within normal range. He was just feeling the effects of the drug. Max pulled the empty plastic pail closer to Severus; he thought that his friend would be vomiting soon.

Damon and Max sat back and watched as Severus writhed within the confines of Grant’s arms. The wrist that was bound to Harry\'s arm was pulling and tugging almost to the point of breaking the rope. They watched them closely, making sure that Severus did not do bodily harm to Harry while he thrashed around. Allie began to open the channel between Harry\'s mind and Severus’ mind, Grant found the thread that he needed to follow in to Harry\'s subconscious and into the minefield of memories that Severus would need to traverse.

\"Sev, I need you to listen to me,\" Grant said quietly as he gathered the younger man in his arms and tried to hold him close. Calming down some, Severus focused on the older man\'s voice he closed his eyes and he concentrated. Allie\'s voice was like a siren\'s call as he felt part of his subconscious follow her lead, to his right he could feel next to him a calming presence that could only be Grant.

To the others in the Circle the only voice they heard was that of Allie’s while she chanted; Grant was silent and there were only occasional whimpers from Severus as they looked on.

\"Severus, do you see your spirit guide? There is a woman up ahead, she looks to be waiting for you,\" Grant’s astral plane self said inside Severus’ head. Severus looked up and in his mind’s eye he saw to his surprise one of his former students, Pansy Parkinson, who had married Draco Malfoy. If Severus had had physical feet in the astral plane, he would have dug in his heels and tossed a wobbly to rival a first year student that was homesick on his first night at Hogwarts.

\"Why is she here?\" Severus whispered to Grant as he watched the dead witch. He had never trusted the young Parkinson girl while she had been alive. Both of her parents had been Death Eaters and he had always thought she would follow suit. What was she doing in Harry\'s mind? Was it safe? His body began to thrash around on the floor, his physical self was fighting for all it\'s worth, trying to protect Harry. Max quickly moved forward and helped Grant to restrain Severus from harming himself. Severus soon became aware of Grant’s low voice murmuring in his ear trying to comfort him.

\"Severus, do you know her?\"

He nodded his head and whimpered. He didn\'t know why she was there, \"She was in my House. She hated Harry.\"

\"Remember Severus she\'s not here for Harry, she is here for you. Did she have respect for you?\" Severus nodded. Grant nodded as well, and together they joined their astral hands and went forward to meet her. The young woman who had been dead now for nearly five years came forward and offered her hands in a gesture of peace to Severus Snape. He reluctantly took them and stepped forward to go with her into Harry\'s memories.

“Hello Professor,” Pansy said as she gave him a friendly smirk. “Are you ready to see these memories that Harry will allow?” All of the sudden Severus was no longer sure that this was the best idea he’d come up with in regards to his own sanity. Maybe he needed to rethink things and try again later on; he turned back to Grant and started to speak. Grant shook his head and simply motioned for him to follow Pansy. Severus had no choice now but to follow the actions that were now set in motion.

Severus nodded his head and stepped forward to follow the young witch. Together they walked along the misty ribbon of consciousness that was Harry\'s Memory Trail, following it to what appeared to be a multistoried Hogwarts’ Common Room that spiraled up in an unending staircase with countless doors lining the walls. Severus stood in the middle room and looked up in awe and wondered just how he was supposed to find the memories he needed in order to understand what made Harry tick the way he did.

Damon looked down at the younger wizard in his arms and noticed how quiet and content he seemed to be as he slept peacefully while his husband still thrashed and fought against the bond that held their wrists together. He was amazed that the younger man didn\'t seem at all bothered by the ongoing ruckus, he glanced up at Max and they shared a knowing look as they watched Grant struggle with the younger man in his arms. They had an idea that despite Allie\'s blessing that Severus was going to have of one of the most difficult trials of his life during the next hour.

“Severus, you must settle down or you are going to hurt Harry and I know you don’t want to do that,” Grant said softly into the Dark Wizard’s ear, trying to calm him down enough that he would simply allow his spirit guide to lead him along. Somehow, through his stupor, he seemed to actually hear reason and stopped his struggling and simply went limp. “Good boy, just follow her lead. She knows where to take you, don’t let her out of your sight. Don’t get lost.”

Nodding to himself, he followed Pansy up the steps. They walked past the first few doors. They were plain doors, nothing in particular to set them apart from one another. Nothing to let him know if there was a good memory or a horror behind the gold coloured knob that waited to be turned, he bit his lip and reached one hand out to lightly rest his fingers on the cold brass only to have Pansy slap his hand away and give him a warning glare.

“The doors with the brass knobs are the private ones. The ones you may look behind have silver knobs, remember that if we get separated,” she said as she turned back and continued her trek up the carpeted steps. Severus spotted the first silver knob only three doors down and found that he was nearly petrified by the idea of opening the door. Pansy stopped first and then stood to one side and allowed Severus to stand in front of the door.

\"Go on Professor, this is what you\'ve been waiting for,\" she said as she made a motion with her hand. Taking what felt like a deep breath, Severus reached out with his right hand and grasped the cold knob. He felt it turned loosely in his hand in the door swung open silently...

Harry was sitting in Potions class with his friends Hermione and Ron, from the looks of things it must\'ve been his sixth year. Severus watched as the trio laughed quietly and chatted amongst themselves as they waited for their Professor to make his appearance. He was confused, wasn\'t Harry supposed to show him bad memories? This didn\'t seem bad, not bad at all. In fact, it seemed to be one of Harry\'s good memories at least of his time at Hogwarts. He wondered why he was seeing this, but then he figured Harry probably had his reasons and everything would make sense in time. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but there was no mistaking the look on the schoolboy Harry’s face when memory Severus stalked into to the dungeon classroom in the trademark swirl of black robes. Pure infatuation and puppy love filled those emerald eyes, oh Merlin, how had he missed that all those years ago? Severus watched as memory Harry let his eyes rove over the memory Professor and he almost felt himself being mentally undressed by the teenager. Suddenly he understood this memory, Harry wanted him to know that he had been watching Snape long before that night Severus had found him in the alleyway. …

Stepping back out of the small replica of the Potions classroom in Harry’s memory, Severus shut the door quietly, turning to find a smiling Pansy. A bit unnerved and off balance by what he’d just witnessed, he smiled back. Silently, she led the way up more steps, not bothering to look behind to see if he followed. Of course he did. The next door was on a small landing. A smaller door than the rest, the outer surface was not a blank white, but looked to have black marks marring the paint in a random pattern. Severus only touched the knob, before the door swung in with a loud squeal that not only caused his skin to crawl, but matched the scream that was coming from the far corner opposite the door…

…Harry hung by his wrists from a beam, his toes were barely touching the dirt floor beneath him. As Severus looked on in silent horror, a man, it had to be a man; a woman wasn’t built like that, came forward and pressed the exposed wires of an extension cord to Harry’s inner thigh. The young wizard’s body went rigid, his back arcing as he bit down through his lower lip. Blood flowed freely down over his chin and chest and still the man kept the live wires pressed to his bare skin. Harry was screaming now, the wires being moved here and there, touching him at various points on his stripped and battered body. At one point while Severus watched memory Harry, the young man pissed himself, causing the current to spread even further down his body. Severus lunged forward, grabbing at the bastard torturing Harry, horrified to find that he was naught but a ghost in Harry’s mind, his hands passing through the beast, his cries of protest unheard by either Harry or his antagonist….

There in the real world, in the living room of the Wolffe home, everyone present felt their flesh crawl as the most gods awful scream was torn from Severus. The hand that was bound to Harry was grasping him as a drowning man would hold his saviour, the other was reaching out as if to ward off an assailant. Grant’s face was a mask of concentration as he held tight to the young man he considered his son, he was afraid of losing him in the morass of chaos they had found. He had never seen anything quite so…fucked up in all the years he had been doing Dreamwalks. No one had each memory catalogued like this, no one, this was not normal. This was…compensation beyond what he had ever seen. Harry was an amazing individual to even be as functional on the level he was.

Severus began to convulse in Grant’s arms, although his eyes were closed Max and Damon could see that his eyes were rolling wildly behind closed lids. Low moaning filled the room, as Severus’ heels began to drum on the floor, Max quickly moved forward and turned him to his side. Getting one arm under his chest, the large redhead half pulled his friend up into a semi sitting position and held the bucket as he began to vomit. Shaking her head with compassion, Allie stepped forward with a soft flannel and gently wiped his lips as Max laid him back down. Grant’s arms once more went back around him and they waited as he continued his journey into Harry\'s mind.

Damon nudged Max with his foot and nodded towards Harry, he wanted him to check the younger wizard out. The smaller man had not made any sign of consciousness since he had taken the sedative before the ceremony began. Damon wanted to be sure that everything was all right. They had chosen this rite specifically because it would be safer on the unborn child and parent. Moving back to his place next Damon, Max quickly squeezed the bulb on the blood pressure cuff until it was inflated and then listened until he got the reading he was looking for. Everything was still well within normal range. Harry\'s pulse was still good as was his respiration. The only one suffering now was his husband. Max gave Damon\'s shoulder a squeeze let him know that Harry was all right, Damon nodded and gave a sigh, he was ready to go on with this.

Back inside Harry\'s mind, Pansy was quickly climbing the staircase with Severus right behind her, from behind different doors he could hear laughter, screaming, or sometimes nothing all. He had noticed as they climbed higher than not every knob was brass, some were glass, some porcelain, and yet others were wood; but it seemed very few were the elusive silver. He stopped for a moment and let Pansy get ahead of him, stepping to the edge of the railing he looked over to see how far up he had come. As he looked down he was overwhelmed with horrible vertigo. He couldn\'t see the bottom. He tried looked up. The open stairwell went up into nothingness. All he could see were never ending doors that followed the never ending staircase, and now he couldn\'t see Pansy.

Severus licked his dry lips. He turned from side to side while biting his lower lip. He knew that Grant was supposed to be with him, but he couldn\'t see him. \"GRANT!\" He screamed as he slowly turned around on the step. There was no answer. Back in the living room, the three who were not under the influence of anything heard Severus calling for Grant, and the fear in his voice made their blood run cold. Severus was lost. The tears ran freely down the Potions Master\'s face, his one hand was gripping Harry\'s for dear life while the other hand frantically grabbed at anything. He began to run on the astral plane. He was chasing Pansy Parkinson up the staircase in Harry\'s mind trying to find the silver knobs…

Harry began to stir while in his sedated sleep, he was having a dream in which Severus was lost and he was trying to help him, he was trying to find him, trying to help them find his way. He shifted in Damon\'s arms, and sighed quietly in his sleep.

Grant was having a hard time trying to keep Severus sane within this Dreamwalk. The younger man simply would not listen to him, he had always been overly headstrong in life and now all dealing with things in a spiritual nature he was not able to simply let go and allow himself to be led in a way that would not harm his own mind.

Searching frantically, stumbling up the staircase, Severus found another door bearing a silver knob. With a growing feeling of trepidation he reached out and slowly wrapped his fingers around the cold metal, with dread gripping his heart he slowly pushed the door open...

... Severus saw Harry\'s former master sitting in armchair watching as Harry was used to service three other men sexually. Severus stood dumbfounded as he watched while one man after the other took turns mounting his Harry. Harry was tied down, a collar about his neck that was attached by a short chain to a ring attached to the floor, both of his arms were outstretched and attached to similar rings in the floor leaving him arse up and open for abuse. His ankles were unfettered but his knees were spread and held apart by an iron bar. Severus could hear the laughter of the man as they used and abused his young husband to be, but he couldn\'t hear any sobs coming from Harry. He slowly circled the small room and saw that Harry\'s mouth had been crudely stuffed with a dirty rag. Harry\'s eyes were closed, but it was plain to see the tears that were cutting tracks down his dirty face and dripping to the floor. Severus felt himself filling with a savage rage. A Deatheater rage. He wanted to find every man that had been in that room, that had harmed his mate and kill them in the most heinous way he could think of. A loud slap brought Severus\' attention back to the activity in the room; Harry was now being beaten for not being as tight of a fuck as he had been when they had started playing hours before hand. Severus watched as a heavy leather belt was repeatedly used over Harry\'s unprotected lower back, arse, and thighs. The young man was already a mass of multicolored old and new bruises, bound as he was there was no escape from the onslaught of blows. As he sagged forward the short chain attached to his collar forced his neck into an unnatural position cutting off his air, mercifully allowing him to slip into unconsciousness...

Severus slipped out of the room and shut the door quickly, badly shaken, he had no idea that Harry had gone through anything like this. As he looked up the staircase his breath caught in his throat as he saw door after door bearing a silver knob. Willing himself to go on he looked up once more and caught a glimpse of Pansy. He hurried up the staircase to catch up with her, wondering why she was just standing there, why she was just looking at him. As he reached her he found out. There was the next door and it was already slightly ajar...

... inside Severus found a very young Harry, maybe six years old possibly younger sitting in the near dark in what appeared to be a very cramped space. Severus could hear sounds but could not see where they were coming from. During the moment it took for his eyes to adjust to the gloom he realized that he was in the cupboard under the stairs. The same cupboard in the Dursley’s home that Harry had spent the first ten years of life after his parents had been killed. From the noise and the smells that were coming through the small grate in the tiny door Severus could ascertain that it must be mealtime in the Dursley household, but yet young Harry was apparently in his customary place for meal times. The only reason Severus had any idea that Harry was used to this treatment was the simple fact that the young child did not seem frightened nor did he seem upset at the prospect of not eating with his family, in fact it seemed to be quite routine. Watching Harry closely Severus soon realized that he had misjudged his age, the boy in this memory was actually closer to eight or nine. Young Harry pulled out his school books and lying down the floor with his reader as close to the crack that allowed in light as he could get it, he began to study. Severus peered over his shoulder at the text and realized it was that of an older child, perhaps third or fourth form. How was it that Harry was so small? Severus’ befuddled mind began to put the pieces of Harry’s childhood that he knew together, and the picture that was forming was horrific. With the attention to detail only a spy would have, Severus catalogued what he could see within the cramped space; the tiny worn cot mattress with no sheet and only one threadbare blanket shoved as far back under the stairs as possible, a small cracked hand mirror wedged into a wall joist with a comb beside it, one maybe two changes of old, barely serviceable clothing, one small figurine of a knight on a horse that was missing a foreleg. Everything was neatly put away, well as put away as it could be in such a small area and Harry himself took up as little room as possible, almost as if he were hoping the family outside of his cupboard would forget about him…

Severus found himself gently pushed out of that memory and back with Pansy. He blinked owlishly at her and turned his head to look back at the closing door. It had explained why Harry was so small, why he appreciated the tiniest things people did for him in his life. If only he had known when Harry had been a child, he would have immediately stepped in and demanded that he be placed elsewhere for safety. Severus had to wonder if Albus Dumbledore had known about how Harry had been raised.

\"Are you finding anything of interest Professor?\" Pansy asked as she once more reached out and took his hand. Severus nodded slowly, yes he was learning so many things about his little Harry. So many things that he could now understand why Harry was never able speak of them. \"Are you ready to go on? Do not forget you do have a time limit.\"

Back in the confines the living room Max and Damon visibly relaxed as they noticed Grant was breathing a little easier and Severus was no longer struggling in his arms, finally it seemed he had stopped struggling. Harry had begun to stir more as the sedative was starting to wear off, with one hand Damon gently stroked his hair back and tried to soothe the young man and keep him calm.

\"Can you give him any more?\" Damon asked as Harry\'s eyelids began to flutter. Max shook his head.

\"I\'ve given him all I can, any more could cause him to abort.\" The healer said softly. Both men watched with growing concern as Harry slowly regained consciousness. Severus on the other hand was still in the tight grip of the peyote. Max had spoken with Grant and Allie beforehand and he had told them that if Harry had became distressed during the rite that he would ask Allie to sever the bond between Harry and Severus immediately. He refused to take a chance with the unborn child.

Although under the influence of the same drug as Severus, Grant was aware of his physical surroundings and was also aware of the fact Harry was beginning to wake up. Severus had to hurry if he wanted to see anything more. Diving back into the chaos, he once more found Severus’ magical signature and traced it to him, tapping him gently on the shoulder to remind him of why he was there.

\"Severus, I need you to listen to me. Harry is starting to wake up. You know that he cannot be awake during this. Little bird, you must hurry. I will stay here with you; I will hold your hand.\" Grant murmured gently and Severus nodded his understanding. Together they hurried to the next door Pansy was waiting in front of. Men noticed the strained and pinched look on Pansy\'s face. Then they heard it. The unmistakable sounds of a small child screaming in pain and the loud voices of angry adults.

\"This may be the hardest one you see yet, Severus.\" Pansy said as she closed her eyes and reached out her hand to stop his before it touched the doorknob. \"Harry does not remember this. He was too young when it happened, and mercifully his mind never thought fit show this memory to him. Be very thankful that your Harry is able to bear your children.\"

Severus looked at her and then looked back at Grant, he felt Pansy remove her hand but yet he did not move his forward. Grant placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave a slight push. Taking a deep breath Severus opened the door...

... immediately his senses were overwhelmed by the screams of very small child that were renting the air in unrelenting shrieks of pain. Almost running into the room, Severus stopped short, as the scene unfolded before his very eyes. A huge pig of a man, who could only be in Harry\'s Uncle Vernon, was busy stomping the life out of what looked to be a bundle of rags. Only rags do not scream. Kneeling down Severus saw that it was truly Harry Potter that was being crushed under the fat man\'s foot. There was a skinny, horse-faced woman looking on, her mouth pursed in disapproval at the noise the small child was making. Severus could not have a why someone would do such a thing to such a small child. Knowing that he was unseen by all participants in the room he crept as close as possible to Harry trying to make sense of what had happened to cause such treatment. The skinny woman began ranting to her husband about how the freak had embarrassed her and their son at the park again that day by wanting to play with the other children. Severus looked at little Harry\'s hand, there it was. A small, battered red ball and held in his limp fingers. Hearing the fat man shouting that the freak was two years old now and old enough to understand that he was not allowed around normal children also meant that he was old enough to bear the punishment for his sins. Severus winced each time the heavy booted foot came crashing down on the tiny toddler. Harry had since stopped screaming. In fact he made no noise at all. The woman demanded that her husband teach the child that he was not allowed to run and play. He nodded in agreement and stood on the child\'s pelvis not moving until he heard a satisfying crunching sound. The sound of young Harry\'s bones being broken. With no regard at all to the young child\'s injuries, his uncle grabbed him by the back of his oversized jumper and threw him into the cupboard under the stairs, locking the door with a satisfied grin. The entire time Severus watched this he was screaming, screaming for someone to help, screaming for the man to stop hurting his nephew. That he was only a child and that it was natural for child to want to play. Severus could feel strong hands on his shoulders, hands that were pulling him out of the room and away from what he was seeing...
In the living room Severus began to scream as he watched the memories of how Harry\'s Uncle had broken his little body. Max rushed forward and helped Grant hold his friend and keep him from doing bodily harm to himself as he thrashed and fought against Harry\'s relatives.

\"No. No. No he\'s just a little boy. He doesn\'t know any better,\" Severus cried out as his hand that was tied to Harry\'s wrist suddenly grasped his husband\'s wrist tightly and he pulled him to him. Damon, not expecting the sudden grab did not have a good hold on Harry and as a result, Harry was now in his husband\'s arms.

\"Severus,\" Max said softly as he tried to get his old friends attention, at least enough to distract him so that they could retrieve Harry. \"It\'s all right. Harry\'s okay, he safe. No one is going to hurt him anymore. We are all going to protect him.\" Severus’ eyes were open, but unseeing as he listened to his friend’s voice, but his grip on his slight husband went from death-like to a mere stranglehold. Max sighed in relief as Harry shifted in Severus’ arms and sighed once his head was pressed against his husband\'s chest and he could hear his heartbeat clearly.

Damon moved up next to Grant and wrapped his arm around his husband\'s shoulders letting him know that he was there and giving him his support. Severus was still mumbling and muttering about keeping Harry safe from his family and from Morgan, his arms wrapped protectively around the younger wizard. Max was monitoring Harry\'s reactions to Severus’ outburst and found that he was now at the equivalent level of a deep daydream that he would be in during a normal nap. He gave his wife a worried look; she would have to break the bond soon in order to keep Harry from becoming upset.

Inside Harry\'s mind Severus found himself outside the door standing beside Grant and Pansy was nowhere in sight. Somewhat bewildered Harry\'s husband looked at the now closed door and shuddered as he thought about the memory he had just seen. Grant leaned in and gave the younger man a hug.

\"Where did Pansy go?\" Severus asked as he pulled away and looked again for some sign of the dead witch. Grant simply shook his head and took Severus his hand in his own.

\"Her time was done,\" Grant said gently as he began to steer Severus back down the staircase. \"Our time is nearly up Severus. Harry is almost awake and there can be no more memories like the last one.\"

Severus nodded sadly and followed his foster father down the carpeted steps, somehow feeling like he had failed in understanding his Harry by not looking behind all the doors. He looked up around his surroundings and noticed that there were hundreds of doors with silver knobs. Stopping where he stood, he suddenly understood that Harry was showing him that if he ever wanted to tried this again that there were many things to be shared.

\"I feel like there something I\'m missing,\" Severus said to Grant as he pulled his hand away from the older man\'s and turned to face back up the staircase. Perhaps thirty feet away the door opened, one with a brass knob. Severus stood not quite daring to breathe and watched as his young husband stepped out of the doorway and beckoned to him.

\"I need you to see this, please come with me,\" Harry said with that same crooked little grin that Severus fell in love with all over again every day. Severus turned and looked to Grant who only gave him a smile and nodded motioning him on, with that encouragement he quickly made his way up the steps to stand next to his husband. Harry looked up at him and the reached out to take his hand. \"Thank you for trusting me.\"

\"With my life.\"

Harry drew Severus to the open door and paused for a moment before he led them over the threshold...

... Severus looked around and recognized his personal chambers at Hogwarts, his bedroom to be exact. He looked at Harry curiously he had no idea why they were there. Harry only gave him a smirk and then a gentle smile before he placed one finger over Severus\' thin lips. Okay if his husband wanted him to be quiet, he could do that. Since this was his bedroom and it was obviously after he and Harry had become a couple, he knew that this would not be a horrible memory. He slung one arm around his mate’s waist and waited for whatever it was that the younger man seemed to feel Severus needed to see. They didn’t need to wait long at all as it turned out. The door that led to the small bathroom off of Severus’ bedroom opened and memory Harry emerged from the cloud of steam wearing a simple nightshirt that hung to mid-thigh, his hair barely towel dry and still dripping water onto the thin cotton of his nightwear. Memory Harry approached the big four poster bed with a nervous step, that much was obvious and Severus could not really remember Harry ever looking nervous in his bedroom, but this was Harry’s memory and not his own. He watched as memory Harry sat on the edge of the bed and played with the hem of his nightshirt while he cast nervous glances towards the bedroom door every few seconds. He’s waiting for me, Severus thought, and then wondered if Harry had always looked so breakable before he came to him at night. He got his answer in the next few moments when his memory self opened the door to the bedroom and walked across the room to stand before Harry. Sucking in his breath, Severus realized what he was seeing now and the importance of it to his little Harry. He was wearing the deep royal blue silk shirt Minerva had given him for his birthday some years ago in this memory. He’d only worn that shirt a scant number of times and now the shirt was no more, it had been destroyed that night. It had not withstood the passion of one Harry Potter on the first night they had made love together, by morning pieces of the shirt had been spread like confetti about his chambers. In fact Severus himself still used a scrap of that shirt as a bookmark for his favourite potions journal. He felt Harry intertwine his fingers with his as they watched their memory selves allow each other the right and privilege to explore one another’s bodies as lovers and not as Master and submissive. It had been a pivotal point in their relationship, one that if it did not exist, they would certainly not be at the point they were today. Together they watched the two figures writhe and gasp with pleasure as Harry was finally taught that his body was for his own enjoyment and not just the pleasure of another. The cries of passion were music to Severus and he smiled as he relived this memory with his beloved at his side, not noticing as they were getting further and further away and the images were becoming darker and harder to see…

On the living room floor Allie was the first to note that Grant was back completely as he suddenly sat up and grabbed for the bucket and promptly emptied his stomach. Max moved the couple that had been lying in his lap to the floor in order to give the old man some room to move and to breath unhindered and he smiled gratefully. Damon gently wiped his husband’s mouth and held a cup of water to his lips for him to sip as he arranged himself to sit behind the man and offer his own body for support.

“Is it…” Damon began as he smoothed Grant’s sweaty hair back and let him rest his head on his chest. Grant just shook his head, he didn’t know how to explain to his husband, his Dom, his everything, that the young man they considered their child had married a man that was so broken inside by others that it was a sheer miracle that he wasn’t a raving loon.

“Bad,” was all he could whisper while he reached a hand out to stroke Severus’ hair and then moved it slowly over to caress Harry’s smooth cheek. Right now they both looked so peaceful in spite of all the horrors Severus had just seen, let alone Harry who had actually lived through them. He raised his eyes to Allie and gave her a reassuring smile. “Bring my boys back sweetheart.”

Allie smiled and picked up her athame then went to kneel next to where Severus lay with Harry curled against his chest. Speaking slowly and softly, she began the chant that would close the bridge between their minds and bring Severus back up out of his drug induced state. As the chant ended, on the last word, she slipped her blade beneath the battered hay twist that had bound them together and sliced it cleanly through, freeing their wrists and hands. A deep shudder ran through Severus’ lean body as though he was chilled from being sweat-soaked even though precautions had been taken and the room was near unbearably hot for the others. His arms tightened around Harry and he buried his face against the back of his neck as the tears began to fall.

Harry opened his emerald eyes and blinked as he looked around him, as though trying to figure out how exactly he had gotten from Damon’s lap to being curled up in Severus’ arms. He raised his head up a bit and looked back and saw the dark head of his husband buried against his shoulder and he smiled gently and cuddled in tighter to the man.

Max moved forward to kneel next to Harry and gently prized his arm away from Severus so that he could take his blood pressure. Satisfied that it was normal in the young man was in no danger, Max removed the cuff from Harry\'s arm and wrapped it around Severus’ upper arm. Severus opened his eyes tiredly and looked up at his old friend as he felt the pressure tighten around his upper arm. Max looked down into those inky depths and felt a chill ran up his back. If someone were to ask Max at that moment what he were seeing in Severus’ eyes he would reply that his friend had seen Hell and come back a haunted man.

While Max tended to Harry and Severus and Damon tended to his husband, Allie blew out the candles and released the Power carefully walking widder shins to sweep up the sea salt that had formed the Circle for the rite. Soon she had the room set to rights and the occupants were now able to make themselves comfortable on the sofa and chairs.

Instead sitting with everyone else, Severus wanted nothing more than a moment to be apart from everyone else to at least rinse off the film of slick sweat he could feel that covered his body. Slowly he uncurled his stiff arms from around his husband\'s body and with Max’s help he slowly came up to a sitting position. Harry turned to his back and looked up at his Husband with wide green eyes and gave him that crooked little smile.

\"My Husband I\'m sorry to you had to see what you did, but I fear I could never find the words to share my memories with you,\" Harry said softly as he reached out with one hand and stroked Severus’ sweat soaked hair. Severus looked down at him and gave him a haunted smile and pressed his hand over Harry\'s tummy.

\"As eloquent a vocabulary as I have Harry, even I would have been voiceless to put words to some of the memories that I saw.\"

Harry breath hitched as he heard his husband speak, a tear slowly trickling from the corner of his eye. \"I understand,\" he whispered and turned onto his side facing away from Severus. \"I had hoped that by also giving you good memories to see that maybe you might not have been so disgusted by me, but I understand.\" Moving surprisingly fast for someone who had been so heavily sedated the young wizard was quickly on his feet; his only thoughts were to rid Severus and the others of his loathsome presence. He started to run out of the room when he felt the iron grip of his mate on his arm pulling him back down to the floor.

Harry fell back abruptly onto his husband\'s lap where he was held tightly in loving arms. He sat quietly not understanding why they weren\'t letting him go, he thought that Severus was disgusted with him.

\"Oh you silly ninny, you understand nothing,\" Severus sighed as he moved Harry around on his lap and held him within his tired arms. He still only wanted a hot shower. \"You were so prepared to be rejected that that was all you were going to let yourself hear no matter what I said, isn\'t that right?\"

Harry remained silent but nodded his head in agreement, his Husband was right. He had been prepared to be thrown away with the morning rubbish. The others watched quietly as Severus ran his hands up and down Harry\'s arms trying to reassure him, Grant reached out one hand and laid it all the young man\'s leg.

\"Terrible things happened to you Harry, but you were the victim. You never asked to be abused. No one in this room, no one in this family will ever reject you for the wrongs that were done to you,\" Grant said with gentle force while everyone else gathered around and also touched Harry in what they hoped to be a reassuring manner for him. Severus felt him start to relax and his body pressed further back against his chest, the older man leaned down and gave him a kiss at the juncture of his neck and shoulder and then moved up to nip him on his ear. Only moving back when he heard Harry giggle.

After the two had cuddled for a few moments Max placed one hand on Sev’s shoulder and gave him a little shake. \"You know I hate to break this up you two, but Sev my friend, you smell like an overripe yak. You need a shower, and you need one now.\" Harry pulled away from his husband with a laugh and turned to give him a little sniff. He wrinkled his nose in mock distaste and scooted off of his lap and made little shooing motions with hands.

\"Okay okay I get the point,\" Severus laughed as he got to his feet and made his way out of the living room. Max turned to Harry and pointed to a kitchen chair that sat in the corner of the living room.

\"Sit down Bit, I need to go over you one more time to make sure everything is all right,\" Max said as he helped Harry to his feet and led him to the chair. He began to give him a simple exam while Grant went take his own shower and the other two went to start dinner.


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