How Severus Spends His Summer Hols

DISCLAIMER: JKR owns everything that is in reference to the Harry Potter world if it is in one of my works of fiction. If it is not found in one of her creations, then it is mine unless otherwise stated. I am not making any profit from the writing of this story.

A/N~ Hi all, to all those that usually read me on TSS, hopefully this is where you are reading me now. I did want to let people know that golden snitch and I have a small lj community up now called snitch_n_time where we are posting our stories as well as the side stories that go with them that do not fit in to the categories at TSS. Believe it or not, I well even have a few het things, I know bestill your frantic beating heart. There are NO MARY SUE’s. Yes, original characters and ideas, but Mary Sue met an untimely end when she fell into the deep fryer at Mc Donald’s when she asked Severus if he wanted fries with that shake. Don’t mind me tonight, I am on a sugar high that would frighten a crack monkey. Hugs and kisses to all. I hope everyone that had to get out of the way of Rita will be home safe and sound soon. Ta ra for now…Kel

The three men looked at each other in shock at what Harry had just so calmly said before he had walked out of the room. Severus looked as though he truly had no idea as to how to handle the situation now. His young husband honestly expected to be divorced and separated from his child. He looked to Grant and Damon for guidance.

“Go to him Sev, we will talk to Max and Allie and work everything else out. You just remind him of how important he is to you and everyone around him,” Grant said as he motioned Severus towards the doorway and then picked up the phone.

Severus nearly ran up the stairs to get to Harry, in the back of his mind he was picturing his husband curled up in his closet under a pile of bedding or clothes. He reached his closed bedroom door and stopped short, almost afraid to open it, worried about what he might find.

Turning the knob and easing the door open, he found the room in near darkness. Harry was sitting on the far edge of their bed, his arms wrapped around his thin body. As Severus watched, he noticed Harry was rocking back and forth and he seemed to be staring at the open closet door.

“Harry? Baby, are you okay?” Severus asked softly as he entered the room and rounded the end of the bed to sit next to his younger husband. He wasn’t surprised to see tears glistening on Harry’s smooth cheeks or to see a far off blank look starting to fix itself on his beautiful face.

“I…I wanted to go in the closet Sir. I wanted to so bad,” he said, his voice breaking into a small sob. “but if I hide I won’t get better, will I, Husband?”

Severus looked down at the small man who sat next to him, the fear he was feeling coming off of him in almost palpable waves. Harry took a chance and glanced up at Severus from under his dark fringe, and the older man saw the fear, self loathing, and personal hatred that was evident and showing naked in the open.

“I am so proud of you, my Harry, so proud,” Severus said quietly as he gingerly put one arm around the smaller wizard and pulled him closer to him. “You have so much courage to go through this. So very, very brave my little lion, so much braver than I could ever be.”

Personally Severus was amazed that he had not found Harry rabbit holed in the back of his closet under a pile of blankets. To actually find him in the open and acknowledging his need for the comfort of the closet, but also knowing that hiding wouldn’t make the problem go away just astonished him to no end. His little Gryffindor lion was so very brave.

“I’m so afraid Severus,” Harry said as he wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his night shirt. “I am so dirty inside. I did so many bad things. How can you say you will still want me?”

Severus pulled the younger man onto his lap and rocked him gently; wanting to allay his fears about what was going to happen during the procedure Grant wanted them to do. Kissing his husband’s tears away, Severus began to speak softly, forcing Harry to stop crying so he could hear the words being spoken.

“Harry, you know I was a Deatheater. There are so many things I did while I served Voldemort, both voluntarily and while spying for the Light that I am sure there is a special place reserved just for me in the lowest pits of the ninth Hell.”

“That was different Husband,” Harry said as he laid his hand against Severus’ slightly stubble roughened cheek. “You were doing a job, Sev. Dumbledore didn’t give you a choice whether or not to do what Voldemort ordered.” Severus placed his hand over his husband’s and thought a moment before he replied to his young husband’s statement. He knew Harry was only trying to absolve him of any supposed sins that he had committed during that time, but he was afraid the truth would frighten his husband.

“You are right Harry; it was a very different situation from yours, even though we were both being used ruthlessly by unscrupulous bastards. I am sure you didn’t enjoy the things Morgan made you do, did you?” the older man asked. He could feel those piercing emerald eyes on him as he waited for Harry’s answer.

“I wanted to die everyday Husband. I begged to any deity that I thought might listen to my useless pleas to just let me not wake up each morning. But just like the rest of my life, no one bothered to listen to what I wanted,” Harry said with a wry little grin and a snort. Severus only shook his head and kissed the smaller man sitting on his lap. The love he felt for him baffled him most of the time. He’d never thought he would be capable of feeling anything close to this for another living being.

“Harry, it was different for me. I didn’t always hate the things that I did for Voldemort. Yes he was a madman, and you will never hear me say otherwise,” Severus said as he waited for his husband to react in some manner. At the very least flinching, hell, Severus wouldn’t be surprised if Harry didn’t run screaming from him. “But while I was a young man just out of school I learned I enjoyed creating certain levels of pain if I was with a partner that enjoyed receiving pain.”

Instead of feeling Harry pull away from him, he felt the little body snug in closer to him and lay his head on his chest. Confused now, Severus looked down at Harry and spoke again. “Did you not hear me, Harry? I enjoyed hurting people.”

Harry raised his eyes to look at his husband before he spoke. “Did you honestly think I didn’t know you were a sadist, Husband? I was your student for seven long years, after all. I used to see the glee in your eyes when you had us doing something particularly foul. Do I truly look that stupid?”

Now Severus was really confused. Harry knew he was a sadist and he was still with him? The same young man that had escaped an abusive relationship was with another man that was possibly capable of hurting him in ways that were unimaginable to most humans.

“I…Harry…I am a bit confused here,” he said as he shifted so that Harry had to look at him instead of burrow against him like a pocket pet. Harry sighed and looked put upon by seemingly having to explain something so simple to someone that he figured should have gotten it without the picture being drawn.

“Severus, Voldemort killed my parents, he tried to kill me repeatedly, he tried to kill you, and he killed many of my friends. The things you say you did for him that you didn’t mind, are those things you would ever do again?” Harry asked him as he looked at his husband closely and saw him flinch.

“I’d rather poison myself Harry. I would never touch another person without mutual consent; well not after I deal with Morgan anyhow,” Severus said with a shudder and noticed Harry looking at him curiously. He took a short breath and explained further. “I never raped anyone Harry. That never interested me. I just wanted to listen to them beg for mercy.” Well if that didn’t cause Harry to bolt, then he was braver than Severus thought. Harry only looked at him thoughtfully as if filing that information away for a future conversation.

“But you wouldn’t do that now?” he asked as he traced one finger along Severus’ jaw and then kissed him there. The older wizard shook his head and smiled sadly.

“No Harry, I’m not the same man I was. I just wanted you to know that I have not been an honourable or innocent man, I am not a good person, but people do get second chances and I don’t think I am that bad now. And Harry, I think you are one of the most perfect things in my life.”

Harry looked up at him with a tiny smile on his lips and blushed. “Thank you. You know Sev, back when I was your student; we were all convinced you were a sadistic bastard. That you probably had whips and chains in your chambers.” Severus raised one eyebrow and looked at him. “Imagine my disappointment when I finally got into your private chambers and found a feather bed with not one whip in sight.”

Severus’ rich, deep laugh filled the room as he held his husband close. “I can’t even imagine you wanting to see a whip Harry. Not after everything you’ve been through with that bastard.” Harry cocked his head and looked at his husband thoughtfully.

“It’s simple Husband. You are a sadist in some ways, I know that, but I also know that I am safe with you. You are never going to do to me what that animal did,” Harry started to explain as he held one of Severus’ hands in his own. Severus looked thoughtfully at Harry and stroked his wet, tear-streaked cheek. “I will never have to fear for my safety with you, never.”

“You have no fear of my losing control with you, do you?” he asked in quiet amazement. Harry nodded, it seemed like his Dom was getting the picture after all.

“But the fact remains Harry. You had no control over what that bastard did to you. There is no way anyone can or should hold you accountable for any of those actions,” Severus said, as he steered the conversation back to where it had began. He had remembered just how well his little mate could divert attention and dance a figurative jig to get the attention off of himself if it was touching on something uncomfortable.

“Severus, I was no better than a whore, actually worse than a whore. Whores at least get paid,” Harry said as he sighed and leaned back against his husband’s chest and listened to his husband’s strong heartbeat.

“Harry, how could you think I would take our child from you and divorce you?” Severus asked. That statement Harry had made downstairs had truly bothered the former Potions Professor, the fact Harry could think he would do something so callous. Harry’s shoulders started to shake, giving away the fact he was crying again as he tried to find a way to answer his mate without repulsing him.

“I didn’t think you would want your child around something that was given to dogs as a play toy,” he choked out and crumbled completely into sobs. Disbelief filled Severus. Surely Harry didn’t mean he was forced to copulate with actual animals, did he?

“Harry?” Severus asked softly as the young wizard tried to stop his tears and slip off of his lap. Severus held him tight, he wasn’t about to let his lion go anywhere.

“I told you I was dirty…” he gasped out as he pulled back against his husband’s grip. “I am so sorry...so sorry…”

Severus held his husband closely as he sobbed. He could not even imagine the utter hell Harry had been put through and yet the young man’s first concern was offending his husband. He softly whispered endearments and encouragements to his husband to calm him down. He closed his eyes and wished he could get his hands on a Time Turner and go back to set things right for Harry. Make sure he would never meet the sociopath that would savage his life so thoroughly.

“My Harry, my sweet, beautiful Harry, there is nothing for you to be sorry for. You have done nothing wrong,” the older man soothed as he threaded his fingers through the long black tresses. “But that bastard that hurt you, he is going to pay dearly for everything he ever did or thought about doing to you.”

“I don’t want to see you do it, is that okay?” Harry asked in a very small voice, his hands clenching fistfuls of his nightshirt as he took a long shuddering breath.

“I don’t want you there, baby. If you are certain you have to be on the property, then I want you up at the house,” Sev said as he stroked his husband’s back in slow circles. “I mean it Harry. Once I send you in the house, you are forbidden to leave until I tell you otherwise, am I understood?”

“Yes Husband, Sir. I promise. May I have some things to do while in the house? Paint or wallpaper so that I may be doing something useful for you?” Harry asked as he calmed down. Either that, or he was shutting down the emotional Harry down again, and going into submissive mode in order to communicate with his Husband/Dom.

“We’ll pick out some furniture in the morning, my beloved. Grant said something about doing the dream walk late tomorrow afternoon,” Severus answered and watched Harry’s face to see if he could figure out how he really felt about what they were planning to do the next day. “We don’t have to do this Harry, you can say no. No one will be angry if you do, this is your choice.”

Harry looked at his husband and smiled a little sadly, “Yes Husband, I have to do this. If I don’t you will never understand why I do some of the quirky things I do. I wish I could simply tell you what happened, but I just cannot talk about those things. I may not ever be able to.”

“I’ll make you a promise Harry,” Severus said as he tipped the smaller man’s chin up to look at him. “I am going to look at those memories, yes, but I am never going to use them to hurt you or to use them against you. If you never want to speak to me about them, I will try my best to respect that, however, Grant will also see them and he is hell bent on getting you into therapy. He will use what he sees as a way to help you heal. No one is ever going to hurt you with those memories.”

“I accept that promise Husband,” Harry said softly as he parted his lips to his husband’s gentle kiss. The couple spent a good while kissing and whispering endearments to each other until Damon knocked on the doorframe and stuck his head in the open door.

“May I come in?” he asked as the two men startled and looked back at him. He gave them a lazy grin in return and waited as Severus quickly rearranged Harry’s nightshirt back down over his thighs.

“Sure Damon,” Severus said as he turned with Harry still on his lap so he was facing the door. If Damon didn’t know better, he would have sworn Sev had a faint blush on his cheeks. The old wizard walked into the bedroom and looked around briefly before he sat down on the opposite edge of the bed.

“Grant wanted me to come up and check on Harry. See how he was doing,” he said, reaching over to give the young man a rub on the shoulder.

“Tell him thank you, please. I am doing okay now, we’ve talked,” Harry replied, closing his eyes and leaning against his husband. The steady beating of the older man’s heart always soothed him. Damon apparently saw that on his face and smiled.

“He’s like Grant, Sev. Doesn’t matter what’s going on, as long as he can put his head on my chest, he’s going to be okay.” Both Doms smiled as they thought of their mates.

“Did Grant reach Max?” Severus asked as he stroked Harry’s back.

“Oh, yeah, he did. Max isn’t amused, but he said he would do it. They’ll be over here around four tomorrow. Everything should be over with by seven and then we’ll all have dinner here,” Damon said as he stood up and gave the married couple a smile.

“Thank you both,” Severus said as he smiled up at the man he considered his father. Damon only gave him a wave of the hand as he turned to go back downstairs.

“Sleep well Damon, say goodnight to Grant from us as well please,” Harry called sleepily as he rose up enough to notice the man was leaving.

“You too, now both of you get to bed,” Damon said as he shut the door behind him and left them alone. Harry stifled a yawn and smiled at his husband as he moved off of his lap and began to turn their bed down.

Severus watched his little husband moving around the room out of the corner of his eye as he undressed and pulled on a pair of pyjamas bottoms. He admired the way the thin cotton was molding to the lean lines of his Seeker’s body. He noticed how tired he seemed as he climbed into the bed on his side and turned to his back, dutifully hiking his nightshirt up around his hips.

“Harry, what are you doing?” Severus asked as he sat down on the edge of his husband’s side of the mattress. The younger man smiled at him and obediently spread his tanned thighs for him. It hit Severus then, they’d been kissing and petting before Damon had come up, Harry must have thought that Severus expected him to couple with him tonight. Severus took the hem of the nightshirt in his fingertips and started to pull it back down to cover his lover when a strong hand grasped his hand.

“Husband…” Harry said softly as he pulled his hand back up. Severus shook his head gently. He wasn’t up to making love to his husband tonight, especially if his Harry thought that it was something he had to do.

“No Harry, you don’t need to do this. I am not up to it tonight, anyhow,” Severus said as he pulled back. He heard Harry suck in a breath, feeling him jerk his hand away as if burnt and his legs came together with a slap of skin. He looked up at his face quickly and saw the look of need quickly replaced with a mask of obedience. If there were awards for stupidity, Severus Snape would surely have a shelf loaded with them.

“Silly Gryffindor, why didn’t you tell me?” Severus said as he pushed the nightshirt back up and parted those taut thighs. A soft sigh escaped Harry’s mouth as Severus’ warm breath tickled his inner thighs.

“I thought the spread legs were a good indication Professor,” Harry quipped and then grabbed the bedclothes, his back arching as his husband’s mouth found him and began to bathe him in its heat. Severus raised his head and turned to look up at Harry.

“Love, I was serious, I am not going to be…” he began as Harry’s piercing gaze stopped him.

“Would you rather I take a toy to the bathroom Husband so I don’t disturb you?” he asked softly as he propped himself up on his elbows. Severus shook his head and pushed him back down to the bed.

“Don’t be daft Harry, just be prepared to the fact I won’t be inside you tonight,” he said and then moved his husband around on the bed so that he could lie comfortably between his legs to tease and taste the flesh he treasured.

“I promise no arguments Husband,” Harry said as a shudder ran through his body when his husband’s tongue gently laved his soft penis.

Severus lay contentedly between his lover’s spread legs for quite some time, well after the last of the tremors had stopped shaking Harry’s body. He nuzzled and gently kissed the delicate flesh as his husband slept peacefully until he’d finally had his fill, sitting up to draw Harry’s socks on his feet and then slid under the blankets with him.