The (Not-So-)Black Letters
folder
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
11
Views:
10,106
Reviews:
41
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
11
Views:
10,106
Reviews:
41
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter or any of his characters, settings, etc. I (sadly) do not make any profit from this.
A nice nap
Story: The (Not-So-)Black Letters
Summary: Harry sends a surprising letter to Headmaster Dumbledore. He's joined Voldemort. What Dumbledore doesn't understand is why Harry has to keep sending mail...mail that reads itself aloud, nonetheless...during breakfasts...at the Great Hall!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of his characters.
Hope you enjoy it!
Today's chapter is way longer than usual (around 1200 words) to make up for the late update (college is messing up with my inspiration, and I've been trying to write this chapter for two days now. I managed to update The Whore instead but that's beside the point.). Next chapter should be up by Saturday.
Thanks to all my awesome reviewers! You really make me feel guilty when I don't update...and immediately glad I did the very moment your reviews start coming!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the scandalous articles on The Prophet the day before, parents had come swarming to Hogwarts, requiring explanations in exceedingly angry voices, much too loud to Severus’ taste. Somehow, every and each family member of the ones attending Hogwarts between 1991 and the present had been sent free copies of the newspaper, including muggle relations in the know. The uproar had been spectacular.
Many of them had actually managed to reach the castle, asking many uncomfortable questions and demanding the Headmaster answer them.
Albus had, unfortunately, been unable to meet them, seeing as he was still unconscious, lying on a bed in the Hospital Wing. What they had at first taken to be a physical answer to extreme shock and stress had in fact been a prank from the infamous Weasley twins, which had become obvious once the fallen Headmaster’s robes had turned black, his long, shiny beard cut short, and his lenses reflected open green eyes –masterfully drawn- over the closed eyes of the sleeping man.
The reaction hadn’t triggered until Albus arrived at the Infirmary –where he had been taken once enervate had proven ineffective-, away from the studens’ prying eyes, and thus they were not only seriously unimpressed by the Headmaster but demanding his presence alongside their family members.
The teaching staff had tried –unsuccesfully, I might add- to calm the raging masses, because even if they were at odds with Dumbledore they owed their positions as Hogwarts’ staff that much. The disgruntled adults that had managed to make it to the castle chose to stay and wait, as their children happily informed them of the strange compulsion placed on the Headmaster that would inevitably take him to the Great Hall the following morning.
When the time for breakfast came, sure as the most precise clock, the Headmaster walked through the doors of the Great Hall, strolling, eyes unseeing, to his seat at the Head Table. It wasn’t until he was seated in his chair that his eyes were allowed to open, the image in his glasses disappearing, though his robes and hair stayed the same. Blinking blearily he scanned the Hall, seeing to his surprise that there was a fifth table near Ravenclaw’s, filled with adults. He had no time to question this, as Hedwig had flown into the Hall as soon as he opened his eyes, and was now dropping her black letter onto the table.
Some startled gasps came from the newly installed fifth table, who hadn’t been entirely convinced of the dubbed “Black Letters” story running around since Rita’s first article after her long absence in the newspaper.
“Hi everybody!
I’m back! Did you miss me?
I’m terribly sorry, but yesterday was a bit too much for me. Who would have said Rita could be so brilliant. Did you read her article on Dumbledore’s early crimes? Even I didn’t know half of the things she mentioned! And the whole “Dumbledore and Grindelwald were going to conquer the World” while they “shared a most passionate affair” thing? Makes you wonder if Grindelwald’s defeat had anything to do with the Light Side’s fight, or if it was just a lover’s spat that got a little out of hand...
By the way, the Twins want me to make it clear that they are in no way, shape or form “reliable sources”, as Rita pointed out in her main article. And speaking of the twins, sales have increased in a 73% since they sent their letter, as many people got interested in their discounts...and in their support of the BWL, I guess. And while we are talking about their support, did you enjoy their last gift, Dumbles? I hope you had a nice nap!
But being serious now, I want to make a statement about Rita’s articles yesterday. I’m sure there are many witnesses to this letter –I specifically requested the Board of Governors’ presence- Hello Lucius!- so this should be recorded accurately. Both Lord Voldemort and I want to make it clear that our own independent research and experience over the years support Rita’s claims about the many conspiracies and secrets involving the Headmaster. About the article regarding my own childhood, I have to admit it’s the sad truth; Yes, Dumbledore did place me with my muggle, magic-hating relatives, bypassing my parents’ will, which stated that I was not, under any circumstances, to stay with them; Yes, said relatives abused me, both psychologically and physically; Yes, they hid magic from me as long as they could –until I managed to get my Hogwarts letter-, feeding me lies about the death of my parents; Yes, Dumbledore did force me to come back to that house year after year, despite knowing how I was treated. To my knowledge, everything portrayed in yesterday’s Prophet is true.
Now, I know you didn’t come here to listen to my woes, my tragic tales. I just thought, I have a nice pattern going –explained about Dumbledore’s most glaring errors during my first year- and maybe it’s time to talk about my second year, don’t you think?
I mean, there was that nice, crazed little house-elf tampering with the quidditch equipment, who almost killed me –people have this disturbing habit of trying to kill me every time I get on a broom...does Quirrel ring any bells?- and there was that farce of a Defense Teacher, Lockhart, who tried to obliviate both Ronniekins and I, and that cursed diary that possessed a little firstie, and dying roosters, and oh! let’s not forget the GIANT BASILISK going around the castle petrifying people, shall we? It took Lucius quite a lot of time and effort to remove Dumbledore from his office, just so someone else could take some measures to protect the students. Well, he doesn’t seem too concerned about the students’ safety, does he? I mean, I distinctly remember that troll that got into the school in my first year and almost killed Hermione Sholemoff, not to speak of that vicious three-headed dog...And don’t even let me get into the defense teachers; first one had Voldemort growing out of the back of his head, second one was a total fake –and a stupid one at that- makes you wonder about the others, doesn’t it? And the man-eating acromantulas in the Forbidden Forest? Creepy.
Well, it’s nice talking to you and all, but Tom here requires my attention –he’s trying to write the menu for next month, and let me tell you, it’s a total nightmare! Damned death eaters and their quirks...”
For a moment everything was silent, the only sound the scratching of quills as many Ministry Officials and members of the Board of Governors hastened to write down every word. The peace was soon broken by the sound of a flash, as Rita’s cameramen tried to capture the image of the Headmaster turned into a canary. It seemed the man had popped one of his beloved candies into his mouth in an effort to calm himself –rumour was the things were laced with calming draught- and had instantly turned into a canary. After a couple of seconds he started moulding and came back to normal. The twins’ voice could be heard throughout the Hall, explaining ashamedly:
“Well, we didn’t get much time to plan today’s prank...we were concentrated on the big one for next week, so a canary cream will have to do...sorry pals!”
As the silence was broken the adults and official representatives stampeded over to the Head Table, loudly demanding answers from the startled Headmaster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R&R? Please? canary cream cookies for every reviewer!
Ok, by popular decision I'll leave the Lee thing ^.^ Thanks for your support! =D
Summary: Harry sends a surprising letter to Headmaster Dumbledore. He's joined Voldemort. What Dumbledore doesn't understand is why Harry has to keep sending mail...mail that reads itself aloud, nonetheless...during breakfasts...at the Great Hall!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of his characters.
Hope you enjoy it!
Today's chapter is way longer than usual (around 1200 words) to make up for the late update (college is messing up with my inspiration, and I've been trying to write this chapter for two days now. I managed to update The Whore instead but that's beside the point.). Next chapter should be up by Saturday.
Thanks to all my awesome reviewers! You really make me feel guilty when I don't update...and immediately glad I did the very moment your reviews start coming!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the scandalous articles on The Prophet the day before, parents had come swarming to Hogwarts, requiring explanations in exceedingly angry voices, much too loud to Severus’ taste. Somehow, every and each family member of the ones attending Hogwarts between 1991 and the present had been sent free copies of the newspaper, including muggle relations in the know. The uproar had been spectacular.
Many of them had actually managed to reach the castle, asking many uncomfortable questions and demanding the Headmaster answer them.
Albus had, unfortunately, been unable to meet them, seeing as he was still unconscious, lying on a bed in the Hospital Wing. What they had at first taken to be a physical answer to extreme shock and stress had in fact been a prank from the infamous Weasley twins, which had become obvious once the fallen Headmaster’s robes had turned black, his long, shiny beard cut short, and his lenses reflected open green eyes –masterfully drawn- over the closed eyes of the sleeping man.
The reaction hadn’t triggered until Albus arrived at the Infirmary –where he had been taken once enervate had proven ineffective-, away from the studens’ prying eyes, and thus they were not only seriously unimpressed by the Headmaster but demanding his presence alongside their family members.
The teaching staff had tried –unsuccesfully, I might add- to calm the raging masses, because even if they were at odds with Dumbledore they owed their positions as Hogwarts’ staff that much. The disgruntled adults that had managed to make it to the castle chose to stay and wait, as their children happily informed them of the strange compulsion placed on the Headmaster that would inevitably take him to the Great Hall the following morning.
When the time for breakfast came, sure as the most precise clock, the Headmaster walked through the doors of the Great Hall, strolling, eyes unseeing, to his seat at the Head Table. It wasn’t until he was seated in his chair that his eyes were allowed to open, the image in his glasses disappearing, though his robes and hair stayed the same. Blinking blearily he scanned the Hall, seeing to his surprise that there was a fifth table near Ravenclaw’s, filled with adults. He had no time to question this, as Hedwig had flown into the Hall as soon as he opened his eyes, and was now dropping her black letter onto the table.
Some startled gasps came from the newly installed fifth table, who hadn’t been entirely convinced of the dubbed “Black Letters” story running around since Rita’s first article after her long absence in the newspaper.
“Hi everybody!
I’m back! Did you miss me?
I’m terribly sorry, but yesterday was a bit too much for me. Who would have said Rita could be so brilliant. Did you read her article on Dumbledore’s early crimes? Even I didn’t know half of the things she mentioned! And the whole “Dumbledore and Grindelwald were going to conquer the World” while they “shared a most passionate affair” thing? Makes you wonder if Grindelwald’s defeat had anything to do with the Light Side’s fight, or if it was just a lover’s spat that got a little out of hand...
By the way, the Twins want me to make it clear that they are in no way, shape or form “reliable sources”, as Rita pointed out in her main article. And speaking of the twins, sales have increased in a 73% since they sent their letter, as many people got interested in their discounts...and in their support of the BWL, I guess. And while we are talking about their support, did you enjoy their last gift, Dumbles? I hope you had a nice nap!
But being serious now, I want to make a statement about Rita’s articles yesterday. I’m sure there are many witnesses to this letter –I specifically requested the Board of Governors’ presence- Hello Lucius!- so this should be recorded accurately. Both Lord Voldemort and I want to make it clear that our own independent research and experience over the years support Rita’s claims about the many conspiracies and secrets involving the Headmaster. About the article regarding my own childhood, I have to admit it’s the sad truth; Yes, Dumbledore did place me with my muggle, magic-hating relatives, bypassing my parents’ will, which stated that I was not, under any circumstances, to stay with them; Yes, said relatives abused me, both psychologically and physically; Yes, they hid magic from me as long as they could –until I managed to get my Hogwarts letter-, feeding me lies about the death of my parents; Yes, Dumbledore did force me to come back to that house year after year, despite knowing how I was treated. To my knowledge, everything portrayed in yesterday’s Prophet is true.
Now, I know you didn’t come here to listen to my woes, my tragic tales. I just thought, I have a nice pattern going –explained about Dumbledore’s most glaring errors during my first year- and maybe it’s time to talk about my second year, don’t you think?
I mean, there was that nice, crazed little house-elf tampering with the quidditch equipment, who almost killed me –people have this disturbing habit of trying to kill me every time I get on a broom...does Quirrel ring any bells?- and there was that farce of a Defense Teacher, Lockhart, who tried to obliviate both Ronniekins and I, and that cursed diary that possessed a little firstie, and dying roosters, and oh! let’s not forget the GIANT BASILISK going around the castle petrifying people, shall we? It took Lucius quite a lot of time and effort to remove Dumbledore from his office, just so someone else could take some measures to protect the students. Well, he doesn’t seem too concerned about the students’ safety, does he? I mean, I distinctly remember that troll that got into the school in my first year and almost killed Hermione Sholemoff, not to speak of that vicious three-headed dog...And don’t even let me get into the defense teachers; first one had Voldemort growing out of the back of his head, second one was a total fake –and a stupid one at that- makes you wonder about the others, doesn’t it? And the man-eating acromantulas in the Forbidden Forest? Creepy.
Well, it’s nice talking to you and all, but Tom here requires my attention –he’s trying to write the menu for next month, and let me tell you, it’s a total nightmare! Damned death eaters and their quirks...”
For a moment everything was silent, the only sound the scratching of quills as many Ministry Officials and members of the Board of Governors hastened to write down every word. The peace was soon broken by the sound of a flash, as Rita’s cameramen tried to capture the image of the Headmaster turned into a canary. It seemed the man had popped one of his beloved candies into his mouth in an effort to calm himself –rumour was the things were laced with calming draught- and had instantly turned into a canary. After a couple of seconds he started moulding and came back to normal. The twins’ voice could be heard throughout the Hall, explaining ashamedly:
“Well, we didn’t get much time to plan today’s prank...we were concentrated on the big one for next week, so a canary cream will have to do...sorry pals!”
As the silence was broken the adults and official representatives stampeded over to the Head Table, loudly demanding answers from the startled Headmaster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R&R? Please? canary cream cookies for every reviewer!
Ok, by popular decision I'll leave the Lee thing ^.^ Thanks for your support! =D