A Muddy Secret

Lovely Reviewers:

HermioneMalfoyFan - Was twenty-four hours too long of a wait? I hope not, for I doubt to ever post two chapters on the same day. I write too slowly for that I am afraid.

Utopia - I ought to change that.

To be perfectly honest, y'all kind soun' the same to me. I have not traveled enough in England to have been able to hear regional differences within. I spent most of the time while there in Ashford, Kent with a friend, but I was also in Dover (at the fucking awesome castle! - I bought a quill there. It is green for my Slytherin soul.) and in London several times. [Y'all lied 'bout that bridge fallin' down! AND AND AND Y'all lied about those cute little telephone boothes in all the movies!] BUT overall, I am a Rickman, Felton, Bloom accent fan myself. If I was sitting with Alan Rickman, I would be on his lap the minute he said a word. That voice is altogether too amazing. Before the night was out, I would be with his child. Probably the same for Tom (well probably not the pregnant part) but the sex part. I can control myself better with Orlando I would think. Not that he's not every bit as sexy as the other two! *wink*

Look through earlier chapters to find an answer to the Nimue question. I agree that purebloods would be obsessed with it. It would indeed have been fun but rather forward of him, wouldn't you agree? (Americans are sexual prudes but open to all forms of visible violence...kind of strange, Don't you think?)

No one has said Lucius didn't reap what he sowed.

That website rocks! I love Malfoy senior! and Malfoy junior! They are so HOTTT! They are SEXY with all capital letters! *dances about*

Mrs_Helene_Snape - You hit the bullseye. He is a man. He needs it spelled out for him. He doesn't know what he wants (fully and completely). He needs to be told what he wants! He's a BOY!

Snapes_Goddess - I am glad that my emotional state which is ongoing at the moment is not harmful. It would only make trouble for me later.

Voracious Reader - Severus is a delight! On a similar aside, I am studying a rather similar subject, Conservation Biology - Same department as Fisheries in America.

Heidi191976 - You'll see.

LadyVoldemort87 - He sings with an accent! It is HOT! Makes me melt! What makes it even better is what a sweetie he always comes off as! Lucius, Snape, and Remus can never get enough LOVIN'! I am glad that the angst was good. The update is here.

Citten - I am glad I humored you. He's male, obviously, so being Slytherin does little to help his campaign. Could take weeks. I've wondered that often myself. I suppose it is just the butterfly effect being taught.

meankitty69 - I am glad you thought it was perfect.

Mia - I always had a soft spot for Snape. He is my spiritual twin. I'm crazy about him, and Lily and he being friends made me more nuts about him. It wasn't Lily. She isn't old enough to visit Hogsmeade. She's a second year in my fic. Incidentally she received red hair. Your honesty is always appreciated. I agree whole-heartedly that my writing of it has gotten better. My fanfiction writing groove had been thrown off for several years. Delayed in favor of an original novel which might be the bane of my existance. Love it as I do! It is frustrating to me.

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Well, I am still in rather an angsty mood, which is working quite nicely. Hermione and Lucius are suffering their own issues. Apologies for taking out my own parental issues on Lucius. I made his father almost a personality replicate of my own.

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Hermione cried herself to sleep that night. She dreamed of Lucius.

He was a young man petulantly stomping his foot because she wouldn’t pay attention to him. She watched him wink and smile at her. Then an adult version was staring at her in Flourish and Blotts and questioning her about her parents. She remembered when he insulted Arthur Weasley at the store, and how she’d been right next to him when the fight started. He shoved her to the side when Arthur lunged at him.

He was a young man staring at her through the books from the other side of the shelf as she perused the selection on Merlin. Only warmth and neediness were in his eyes. Then an adult version was snatching her by her hair and holding her against him so one ear was against her shoulder while the other was covered by his arm. Even with her ears covered, she could hear screaming like nothing she could imagine in her wildest nightmares. When he pulled back with his hand still in her hair, a stench assaulted her nostrils that was so foul she was reminded of the mountain troll Quirrel had knocked senseless down on the journey toward the philosopher's stone. She had tried to look at the cause, but she was forced to look into cold grey eyes. His words, “It’s not safe for you to be here.” Then with a pop she was gone returned to Hogwarts’ gate. He shoved her through the gate slamming it behind her. He had gripped her through the gate by her arm firmly. “Please stay here where you’re safe for now,” he’d requested staring at her mouth.

He was young and grabbing her arms and shaking her. She stared at the ground as he shook. Then an adult version was holding her in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom on the second floor of Hogwarts. He’d stunned Ron and grabbed her by her hair. “Twenty-six years older and still crazed.”

Hermione awoke with cold sweat flowing into her hair and tears rolling.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“GO AWAY MALFOY! I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!” Hermione yelled. “EVER!”

“It’s Severus,” she heard a voice call.

Hermione sniffled as she wiped tears away with her palms.

“Come in,” she called, sitting up on her bed and closing her eyes to force her features to look less upset.

The door opened silently and closed with a click.

“What’s wrong, Hermione? Why was Lucius grabbing you last night?”

“Did you cast the curse that got him to let go?”

“Yes, what’s wrong?”

“Why did he have to say THAT word?” she asked, spitting out the word “that.”

“What word?” Severus asked, sitting on the bed and crossing his legs.

“Mudblood,” Hermione whispered, digging her nails into her palms to alleviate tension.

“Who’d he say it to?”

“A Gryffindor fourth year whom he tripped over,” Hermione said, shivering in anger as she continued. “And he blamed her for it.”

“Why does it bother you?”

“At my old school, I was friends with and knew many muggleborns. One was at the top of the class, and I saw how, when people used that word, it made them feel. It is a terrible word.”

“It’s not said to be nice,” Severus said. “Please, don’t think I’m a complete git for saying this. But consider also for a moment that Lucius, a very wealthy, arrogant pureblood who knows quite a lot of dark magic, only used words. Consider what he could have done to the muggleborn. He could have hexed them badly.”

“I know. It’s just when I heard that word, I remembered how—-my friends felt when they were called it. I snapped. I don’t want to be friends with someone who uses that word.”

“No one can tell you who to be friends with, and I don’t want to manipulate you into talking to him. And for whatever it means to you, I think he is hurting as badly as his words hurt that Gryffindor. Remember people say rash things when they are angry.”

Hermione didn't respond to the statement, didn't say that she thought he was showing his true colors.

“Do you know he is sitting outside your room? He’s staring at the door, and he’s been there the whole night,” Severus said. “Just in case you wanted to know.”

“I don’t want to talk to him.”

“He heard you.”

“Can you bring me some toast from the great hall?”

“No. No one is making you talk to him, and you'll have to face him. He is your partner in almost every class. Better to do it on your terms than to be forced.”

“You’re right,” Hermione admitted, looking into the dark eyes of one of the two bravest men she had ever met.

This black, greasy haired boy would go before Voldemort countless times risking his life to save the wizarding world.

“Do you want me to wait?”

“Please.”

“I’ll be in the common room. Do you want me to tell Lucius something for you?”

“I’m not talking to Malfoy,” Hermione said, stretching her arms and arching her back.

Severus nodded and slipped out the door shutting it quietly.

Lucius watched him.

“Did she—” he began.

Severus shook his head as he stared at the boy. He felt a pang for the older boy.

His eyes had bags under them. He hadn’t slept that night; he’d spent the whole night praying that she would emerge. He’d heard her cry herself to sleep. He had tucked his knees up to hold in the contents of his stomach. He felt like if he retched up his very intestines that he would still be sick.

What did he do? How did he hurt her? He hadn’t meant to. He would do anything to make it up to her. She didn’t want to talk to him.

Being reviled hurt. Being scorned by her for what he knew not made him ache, made him want to curl in on himself.

It was easier to deal with indifference. He’d slipped through his memory during the longest hours of the night.

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As a five year old, he stared at the picture of his mum. He hugged it against his chest. He’d never met her.

She was pwetty dough. His mum wuvved him. She just couldn’t be wiff him.

“Daddy, why is my mummy never here?”

“Some things are none of your damn business, boy,” his father had said, grabbing him by his ear and throwing him from the room.

Lucius had peered in through the keyhole to see his father open up a spot in the bookcase in the study and pull out a bottle of firewhiskey. His father took a large swig and shuddered before he replaced the bottle.

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“Father! I got my Hogwarts letter today,” Lucius said, waving the two pieces of parchment about in the air. “Will you take me shopping for my books and robes?”

“What are you, three? Do you not know how to use the floo and go get your own damn school supplies? Go alone!”

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“Father, I was made quidditch captain this year. Will you come to one of my games?”

“Do I look like I care about some stupid sport?” his father asked. “Get out!”

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“Fa-father, I was made a prefect.”

The statement was met with the scratching of a quill on parchment.

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“Sir,” Lucius addressed his father, “I was made headboy.”

His father sat in a black leather chair in the parlor. The man downed a shot of firewhiskey and waved a hand in dismissal to his only child.

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It was after crying into his pillows the night he received the headboy letter that he swore his son would be loved and would be given his time and would have whatever he wanted, no matter how ostentatious. His son would never be sad a day and would never doubt his father loved him with his every heart fiber.

He had never been able to gain the affection of his father and knew his mother to be dead. She had died after giving birth to him. She had held him in her arms once. He had found the photo of his father and her smiling down at him. He suspected that his father blamed him for his mother's death and blamed him for having a similar personality and facial structure.

He had worked so hard at school and gotten great praise and attention from the teachers for his intelligence and efforts. He had been idolized by the younger students, and he LOVED every minute of the attention. Severus looked at him as a brother as he looked at the lank haired boy as his younger sibling. He had instilled the truth that purebloods were better than other witches and wizards. He enjoyed having Severus sit at his side and look at him in his own fashion of admiration. When he met Hermione, a girl not impressed by his looks or the money he would inherit, she had snubbed him the way his father always had. He had sworn to have her and to never let another ignore him without cause. He would have her. He just didn't know how yet.

Even if she hated him for whatever he did that he didn’t know he did, she would not care so much about that action without something deeper. So no matter what, she cared about him.

The sound of a door opening caused him to raise his head.

Hermione pulled the door shut behind her and never gave him a glance. He rose stiffly to his feet. He winced; it felt as if every joint in his body had cracked simultaneously.

Hermione walked away from Lucius without ever looking at him.

He walked after her wordlessly.

“Are you ready to go to breakfast, Severus?” Hermione asked, only able to manage a feeble smile at the younger boy.

Severus’ eyes turned down at the sight of the rumpled clothes and messy hair of the older boy, but he stood and nodded.

They walked out to the hall together with Lucius following like an inferius and she was the dark witch that controlled him.

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Hope it was good. Like I said, still rather angsty in my mood and reflecting it.
Drop a review.
Seeing how well the last chapter was apparently received, I doubt I will alter it.