I'm Not in Love

A/N: Re: Apparating - The HP Lexicon states that International Apparition is possible by highly trained wizards and while I am sure Severus could manage it, it's probably not that easy for Hermione yet. Just to clarify!



Oh yeh... kleenex for those sensitive types.... one should so it.



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The sea was still like a millpond, and the sun reflected across it in bands of bright light as the waves lapped at the shore. Hermione tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and turned the page of her book. Severus shifted next to her on the bench, holding his own book in one hand as the other lazily stroked the back of her neck. They had been sitting in companionable silence for over an hour, neither of them noticing the time passing by. The sun was just touching the horizon as Severus closed his book gently and bent forward to kiss the top of Hermione’s head.

Hermione looked up at him and smiled, wincing as she moved her neck. She grimaced ruefully at Severus.

‘Its always the same when I read for too long,’ she murmured.

Severus used his long fingers to massage her neck, and Hermione snuggled closer to him, watching the ebb and flow of the sea.

They sauntered slowly back towards the town, hands tightly clasped, Severus stroking her palm softly with a fingertip. They passed numerous wine bars and other drinking establishments as they walked, but unconsciously headed back to the basement bar where it had all started. Hermione had a beer and Severus a Guinness, and they went to sit at what had become their table.

Severus observed her over his pint slowly.

‘What is it?’ he murmured.

‘I feel sad.’ She turned her eyes onto him. ‘It’s been such lovely holiday; I don’t want it to end.’ She smiled softly, and he smiled back, taking her hand in his.

‘I will miss you,’ he stated.

Hermione tried to smile again, but her lip trembled a little. Other than the precious moments when he had told her she was beautiful and amazing (both before, during, or after sex), Severus hadn’t expressed any feelings towards her. Hermione, however, knew she was in love and had told him so more than once. She twisted in her seat to look at him.

‘What do we do now, Severus?’

‘We will finish our drinks, go back to my house, and I will make love to you.’ He smirked a little, trying to lighten her mood. It didn’t work.

‘I’m being serious. What happens after tomorrow? Or…’ She paused. ‘Is this it?’

Hermione looked away and knew she sounded pathetic and needy, her voice betraying how desperate she was feeling inside.

Severus looked at her and sighed. He wanted nothing more than to continue seeing her, but the logistics of a long-distance relationship made the idea almost impossible. It would be exhausting to Apparate between schools every day, and the Floo network only worked at certain distances. Portkeys were a possibility, but they required pre-booking, and that would raise questions he was unwilling to face.

‘After tomorrow, I imagine we will go back to our other lives,’ he murmured, the thought of their parting making his stomach churn.

Hermione didn’t look at him but allowed her hair to fall over her face slightly to hide the tears that were tripping over her cheeks. His response told her all she needed to know. This was the end of it. She had been lonely and vulnerable, but she shouldn’t have fallen in love with him. It was only a holiday romance.

‘Can I owl you?’ she whispered.

‘I would like that,’ he answered her softly.

Her sadness was starting to cover him like a shroud, and they sat in shared melancholy, staring into their drinks until at some unspoken point, they drained their glasses and stood to leave.

There were no words between them as they walked up the stairs in Severus’s house, undressed each other the Muggle way, and fell into each other desperately.

They both knew they wanted to turn back the clock and start their holiday all over again.