Deception Hurts More Than Death

Ron took some time to calm down. He picked up the broken pieces of his tea cup and took a long hot shower, hoping to calm his nerves. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Harry and Hermione had agreed to have an affiar behind his back. They were young and in love, but didn't they love him, or Ginny, enough not to be so sneaky. But then he had to remind himself, that above all things that is what Harry was more focused on.

Ron understood Harry's feelings, about never having a family and not wanting to give up the one he had come to fall into. Ron couldn't imagine not knowing his family, living half his life alone, unwanted by his blood, and never knwoing the love of his mother. He understood the turmoil Harry was facing, had, faced, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

Ron picked up the mess of papers he had thrown around the office. He was piling them back on the corner of the desk when a small, torn piece of paper fell out of the stack. He picked it up and read the unfamiliar word, Philimenathia. Ron wondered what this word meant, and recognizing the handwriting knew who he needed to ask. After straightening everything up, Ron looked to the pensieve and sighed. He didn't know if he was ready to go back in yet, not ready to see another rendevous of Harry and Hermione's.

He decided to forget about it for now and take a walk. He thought maybe that is what he needed to truly clear his head.

Ron walked to Diagon Alley, thinking that a visit with George might cheer him up. As Ron made his way to Weasley Wizarding Wheezes he heard a familiar laugh. He turned to see Ginny, walking with Neville. Seeing his sister laugh for the first time in weeks, warmed Ron's heart.

"Ginny!" Ron yelled and she turned to him and smiled. They walked across the path and hugged tightly. When they seperated the smile that had been on Ginny's face was gone, replaced by a sorrowful look.

"How have you been, Ron? I haven't seen you since the funeral. This is the first time I've even been out. Neville finally talked me into some air. I think I needed it." Ginny turned and smiled to Neville, who winked to her.

"I've been as good as can be expected. I've been locking myself away, having a pity party. But other than that I think I needed some air too." Ron scowled at Neville, as the memory of Hermione's came back to him.

"I was about to go to Flourish and Blott's, would you like to join me?" Ginny asked Ron.

"In a minute, I would like to have a word with Neville realy quick, if you don't mind?" Ron nodded his head to Neville, who smiled and walked over to them.

"Sure thing, you boys talk and I'll see you in a minute." Neville smiled to Ginny, who walked away towards the book store.

"So, Ron, how are you really holding up? I hope you're doing better then her." Neville asked concerned.

"I'm doing fine, Neville, really. I wanted to talk to you about something else. I was going through Hermione's office and came across a scrap of paper with your writing on it. It said 'Philimenathia' on it. What does that mean?" Ron asked, steering clear of any talk of him.

"Oh, that.....well it's a plant she asked about..... it ....uh... helps you sleep. She was having a hard time sleeping a few months ago and asked if I knew of anything that would help." Neville stuttered, acting almost guilty of something.

"Really, hmmmm. I don't remember her mentioning anything about not getting sleep. Thanks, Neville."

"She's been worried about you. We all have. The way you locked yourself away in your house, not returning anyone's owls. We've all been concerned." Neville put his hand on Ron's arm, truly acting concerned.

"Really? I wouldn't have thought you would be that worried about me." Ron said rudely, as he pulled his arm away.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Neville asked, hurt.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about you seeing Harry and Hermione in Grimmauld? Or Ginny for that matter?" Ron eyed Neville, trying to hide his fury.

"That... uh.... wasn't my business to tell."

"You owed it to me Neville. I'm your friend. How could you let them walk around behingd my back, you spinless arse." Ron raised his voice, and a few bystanders turned to see the commotion.

"If I owed anyone anything it would have been Harry, he was always there for me. But like I said it wasn't my business. I don't even know how long they carried on. That was the only time I ever had anything to do with it." Neville got close to Ron's face, as he became upset as well.

"I think you didn't say anything cause you were hoping they would grow some balls and admit it to everyone. We all know you love Ginny. Maybe you were hoping they would hurt us, so you could catch Ginny." Ron pushed Neville back roughly, knocking him into a street cart.

"Look, Ron, I know you're upset with everything that has gone on. And whether I love Ginny, or not, you can't go throwing around accusations like that. So back the fuck off!" Neville came at Ron, who backed away.

"Come on you piece of shit, you want to a have a go at me?" Ron yelled towards Neville. He lunged at him but was stopped by two big hands on his shoulder. He turned around, fist raised, ready to defend himself.

"How about we cool this down before our little sister comes back and sees this." George calmly said to Ron and Neville. Neville nodded his head and walked towards the store where Ginny was in. Ron huffed and ripped himself from George's grasp and walked away.

"Ron!" George yelled after him, but it wa too late. Ron's fast pace and long stride had him out of Diagon Alley in seconds. Ron stormed into his house. He paced the living room several times, trying to calm down. He let his temper get the best of him and he felt ashamed. He shouldn't have taken it out on Neville and he knew it. Ron plopped on the couch and his exhaustion quickly overtook him and he fell asleep.