A Predicament

Well dears, I am very happy about the response this story has gotten so far. I want to thank you all for your support and continuing to read this story. I am glad you like it.

I know I have been updating rather quickly lately, but, when the words flow they flow fast. As ever I cannot guarantee when the next update will be, but I will try to make it soon.

Jessie

P.S. yes things will progress a little more quickly from here on in.

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Harry stormed down the stairs and started clearing up the lunch mess. He couldn’t let himself fall in love again. He couldn’t bear losing someone else just for a brief fleeting feeling of belonging somewhere.

He loaded the dishwasher angrily, wishing Hermione were here, for he desperately needed someone to talk to about all this. When the dishes were running he went to the parlor and sat down heavily in one of the overstuffed armchairs, trying to think.

He needed a drink, a double shot of fire whiskey would calm his nerves and steady his thoughts. He couldn’t do that though. He’d promised Ginny when they were married that he wouldn’t drink anymore. He had never been able to drink without going to excesses, and when he was drunk, he got himself in trouble.

He stared at the liquor cabinet, wishing he had the strength to stop at just one. He buried his face in his hands and wept, because he couldn’t scream.

“Harry?” Draco asked softly.

Harry’s head snapped up, Draco was standing just inside the door, staring at him, “What is it, Malfoy?”

“Draco,” he corrected absently, “Are you alright?”

“No, *Malfoy*, I’m not alright.”

“Are you angry with me?” Draco came in and sat down in the chair next to Harry’s.

“No…Yes… bugger, I don’t know who I’m angry at right now.” Harry buried his face in his hands again, “Just go away for a while. Please?”

Draco stared at him for a few moments, “No, I’m not going away. You need to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you, and I’m the only person here for you to confide in. Tell me, Harry. You’ll feel better if you do.”

Harry stared hard at him, “It’s too long a story, too involved.”

Draco shrugged and settled back in the chair, “We’ve got nothing but time. Talk.”

Harry took a deep breath, could he tell Draco? Could he tell the man everything? No, not everything, but a lot. Most of it could be told. He sighed, “Alright. Severus kissed me.”

“Already? I figured he’d wait at least another day or two.”

Harry stared at the blonde, “You knew he was going to kiss me?”

“Of course, Potter, just like he knew when I was going to kiss you. We’re really not trying to play games with you here. We both want you.”

Harry’s brow knit in confusion, “Why? You have each other, isn’t that enough?”

Draco cocked his head to one side, studying the other man, “No, it’s not enough. When Severus and I began our relationship, it was at the height of the second war, things were always tense, we never knew if the other one was going to come back alive when he stepped out the door. It made for a frenzied relationship. We love each other, beyond reason, but we both always felt as though something was missing. Severus is a very dominant man, and I am very submissive, but neither of us was raised to be able to care for someone else. There is absolutely nothing nurturing in either of our natures. Now don’t mistake me, we didn’t choose you specifically, we didn’t decide that you were motherly enough to be able to take care of us. It was an attraction that grew gradually, for both of us. Mine started during the war, when I was feeding you information. You trusted me after a time, and you made sure I was taken care of. It meant a lot to me then and it still does. I began to wonder what it would be like to have you around all the time, to kiss and caress you, to hold you, to be allowed to be your lover. Then the war ended and you drifted out of my life.”

Harry’s eyes were wide, “I had no idea.”

“No, you were too busy saving the world.”

“I understand why you were attracted to me, but why Severus?”

“Not were, Harry, I AM attracted to you, it hasn’t stopped. And as for Severus, you made sure to go visit him regularly. No, I think it goes farther back than that. You trusted the information he gave you. You didn’t have to, there was no love lost between the two of you in school. I think that was what finally made him realize that you were not as much like your father as you seemed. Your father would NEVER have trusted a word Severus said. You tried to save him from Azkaban, and when you couldn’t do that, you did visit him regularly. You made sure he didn’t die in that hell hole. And now you’re here, making sure both of us can feel useful again.”

Harry stared at Draco for several long minutes, “I am so sorry. If I had known you were falling in love with me, I would have done something to stop it.”

“Is letting us love you so terrible?” Draco let the hurt show on his face.

“It will be for you. I can’t let anyone else love me.” Harry choked back a sob.

“Oh, that’s right, because anyone who loves you is going to end up dead. Is that the way you see it?”

“Yes,” Harry whispered.

“What utter rubbish,” Draco scoffed. “No one ever died just because they loved you. They died because an evil sadistic bastard decided that you needed to be broken. He needed to rule the entire world and you, a child, were what stood in his way. He is dead, but you’re letting him win. You’re letting fear of him ruin your life. The Death Eaters are gone, Harry. Besides, Severus and I know how to take care of ourselves against that lot. We’re probably the perfect people for you to let yourself love. You’ll be safe with us, Harry, your heart will be safe with us.” Draco leaned over and kissed Harry. Just a soft peck on the lips. Then he stood. “Think on it, Harry. If you need to talk anymore, I’ll be finishing up the lab,” and he walked away.

Harry sat there, stunned. Draco had been right about a few things. He was letting fear of a dead man keep him from loving them, but it was more than that. He knew that his being with another man broke Ginny’s heart when she was still alive, even when they’d been apart, she had always hated his bisexuality. It was why she’d forced him to give up drinking.

He stood and wandered down to the basement. He stayed on the stairs, searching for Draco amidst the clutter of boxes and lab equipment.

“Draco?” he called softly.

Draco’s head popped up from behind a heavy wooden table, “Yes?”

Harry picked his way through the clutter and sat on the tabletop. “Can we keep talking?”

“Of course, mind if I continue unpacking though?”

Harry shook his head absently, “No…. last night you asked me why I don’t drink anymore.”

“Mhmm……. You said it got you into trouble, but wouldn’t say what kind.”

“Well…. I would get into trouble with Ginny. She didn’t like the things I did when I got drunk.”

“Oh, were you violent or something.”

“Oh no, I was very affectionate, just not necessarily with her.”

“Oh really?” Draco arched a brow, “With whom then?”

Harry blushed a little and looked away, whispering, “Dean.”

Draco’s eyes went wide. That he had NOT expected. “I see. She had a problem with this?”

Harry nodded, “She was always the jealous type. She couldn’t stand the fact that I found blokes attractive as well as her. I tried to hide it from her, but when I got drunk, well, I couldn’t help myself. When I proposed she said she’d only marry me if I promised never to drink again.”

“And by drink she really meant never to be affectionate with a man again?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, pretty much.”

“And now that she’s dead you feel like you’re betraying her memory to find Severus or I attractive, much less to actually do something with us.”

Harry just nodded again.

Draco stood, situating himself between the brunette’s legs and leaning into him, “She’s not here anymore, Harry. I think she would want you to be happy, and if she wouldn’t, then she’s wasn’t worthy of you anyway.”

Harry’s eyes flashed in anger, “Don’t ever say that again. She risked a lot to be with me. I wasn’t worthy of her, not the other way around.”

Draco smirked, “Don’t fool yourself, Potter, you changed your whole life around for her. Yes she risked her life being with you at the end of the war, but she would have walked over hot coals to make you love her. She followed you like a lovesick puppy for three years. Then suddenly she stops and you notice her. Come off it, Potter. You were an odd couple to begin with, when she was interested, you weren’t, when you were interested she was unavailable. You got together at the end of sixth year and then broke it off with her because of the war. Finally two years later, the war’s over and you both have time for each other? I know you loved her, but were you in love with her?”

Harry looked away from Draco, “Stop it. Just stop….please.”

Draco lifted one hand and turned Harry’s face to look at him again, “I don’t want to hurt you, but you’re denying yourself something real, something beautiful, because you’re afraid of it, not because you want to be true to her memory. It’s not her, Harry. This is your choice, either way you choose, you can’t lay it off on someone else.”

Harry shut his eyes, a few tears slipping down his cheeks and nodded, whispering, “I know. I’m just so scared.”

Draco nodded, “I know,” and leaned in to kiss Harry. This time the brunette responded freely, melting into the kiss. Sighing against Draco’s lips and wrapping his arms around the blonde’s shoulders.

Draco broke the kiss reluctantly, pulling away from Harry a little.

Harry moaned in loss, “No, don’t stop. Please, Draco.”

Draco kissed his forehead and pulled away, “Not here, not like this, Harry. You need to think about what we’ve both said. If you still want this tonight, then we’ll continue.”

Harry hung his head, a small sob escaping him. He took a deep breath and nodded, slipping off the table, “I understand, and you’re right.”

“Come on, I need to check on Severus and you need to check on the twins.”

The two men walked silently up both flights of stairs. Harry stopped Draco when they got to the second floor, kissing his cheek, “Thank you.”

Draco smiled gently and nodded and the two me parted.

Draco went into his new room, and noticed Severus laying on the bed, watching him. He walked over and lay down next to his beloved.

Severus smiled drowsily and traced Draco’s lips with his thumb, “You’ve kissed Potter again.”

Draco nodded, “We talked, a lot. I don’t know what will come of it all, but I think he’s finally beginning to heal.”

Severus nodded, “Good.”

“I kissed him in the lab, and he would have fucked me.”

“You stopped him?”

Draco nodded, snuggling closer to the older man, “Yes. He would have hated both of us when it was over. I told him if he still wanted it tonight, then to come to us. Is that okay?”

Severus ran his fingers through the long blonde hair and nodded, “Yes, tesoro. I doubt he’ll come to us tonight, but eventually he will.”

Draco drew away from Severus, “Sleep, caro. I’m going to finish organizing the lab and clean up. I’ll see you in a bit.” he leaned down and kissed Severus’ cheek and left the room.



Harry walked into the twins room, watching his angels sleep. He sat down on the rocking chair Ron had included in the little box.

They were so beautiful, so innocent. They both reminded him of their mother so much. It was more than seeing her in Liddy’s smile or Luke’s eyes. They reminded him of the happiest three years of his life. He had been happy with Ginny, but now he couldn’t help wondering if they would have been happy ten years down the line.

Would they have begun fighting over bills? Over the possibility of having more children? Harry had always wanted a large family, but Ginny had said she was content with just the two.

Draco’s words were spinning round in his head. Had he been in love with her? He had thought so, but she had wanted to change so much about him. She never seemed quite content with him as he was. Had she really been in love with him, or was it just an infatuation gone too far?

Harry just didn’t know anymore. He stood up and checked his watch. They’d been asleep for just over two hours. He would have to wake them up or they wouldn’t sleep that night. He walked over to Liddy and shook her gently, “Wake up, lovie.”

She rolled over and blinked her crystal blue eyes at him, smiling sleepily, “What wrong, Daddy?”

He smiled down at her, “Nothing, my angel. Just time for you to wake up,” he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

She nodded and climbed out of bed. Going straight over to her dollhouse and sitting down to play.

Harry walked over and shook Luke awake too. The little boy scowled and rubbed at his eyes. “No. Don’t want to wake up.”

Harry sighed, Luke was always grumpy when he woke up. “Come on, love. Time to get up. Don’t you want to play with Liddy?”

Luke shook his head and held his arms up to his father. Harry smiled and picked the little boy up. Luke always liked to cuddle for a little while when he woke up.

He stood and started out of the room. He pulled his wand out, “Come on Liddy, let’s take your dollhouse downstairs to play. Severus is sleeping across the hall and we don’t want to wake him up.”

Liddy stood and nodded letting Harry levitate her dollhouse down the steps. He set her toys up in the parlor and sat with Luke for a few more minutes before he was ready to play with his twin.

Harry stood up, “You two stay in here, I’ll be right across the hall if you need me.”

He left the twins to play and went to finish the fourth bedroom. It was clean, and now just needed to be furnished and decorated. He painted the walls a pale crystal blue, and laid down a beige carpet. He pulled the final box from his pocket and enlarged a desk, three armchairs, and several bookcases. He left one corner bare to make a play area for the twins later.

When he was finished he sat down in one of the chairs and let his mind wander over everything that had happened in the last few hours.