rate_review Reviews

this is a really good story i hope that you'll update soon please

This is surprisingly very good. Ocheen kharasho! It is simple but it is still good. You could use describing it some more though... I am a detail fiend. Hehe
KP

Grrr! at Ginny for comming to Harry in a dream and making him feel bad! Yay for Draco making everyone make up!!! :D

YOU HAVE ME CRYING INTO MY KEY BROAD THAT WAS GREAT, PLEASE EMAIL ME WITH UPDATES AT poohnation74@yahoo.com thank you.

I too find myself split on this story. Firstly, however, I'd like to say that I think your writing is great. The story itself is extremely well written and has a good flow. So good, in fact, that I can hardly believe I read 10 chapters. It was very smooth, very concise in that you wasted no words, and that makes it a pleasure to read. It's the content that I'm split on. The funny thing about this story is that although there are things in it that are wrong and which bother me, the writing itself kept me reading where normally I would have stopped. Uppermost in my mind is that considering that the characters are all British and the setting is in Britain, you really should have someone Britpick this for you. Another point is the Italian endearments. I read where you stated that there's a reason for it, but you haven't stated what yet, so I'm just going to go ahead and say that not only is it out of character for both Severus and Draco, but it's just plain annoying. It's annoying any time the main characters in an HP fic start murmuring sweet little nothings in one another's ears. I'm saying this mostly because you didn't put an out-of-character warning on your story and this is most definitely out of character. Another thing is that I don't really care for how you've portrayed Ginny, but that's just a personal observation that is beside the point. My only other real objection is that the story seems to be going along a bit fast. You justified Draco and Severus's feelings toward Harry, that they both had fallen in love with him long before but never said anything, but from Harry's side it just seems like an overnight deal, and a bit ironic considering Draco's words to Harry on the subject of whether or not he was really in love with Ginny. It makes me wonder if Draco isn't being a bit hypocritical on that point. He can question whether or not Harry was actually in love with Ginny, but seems to expect Harry to fall in love with him and Severus immediately. I have to say, too, that I think both Severus and Draco's reaction to Harry leaving their bed was both extreme and contrived, particularly in light of their earlier sympathy towards Harry over the loss of his wife, the fact that they'd just found out he had children, that said children were in the house, and most of all after the way Severus had previously stated that he wasn't sure Harry was ready for it. I would have thought they'd be a little more understanding of his feelings, especially after his earlier reactions, instead of pouting like little children. In that instance Luke and Lydia seemed more mature than either Draco or Severus. Then you have Harry suddenly rushing to talk to Hermione about falling in love with them and living together with him and his children as a family and him worrying about what people will say about the twins having three fathers, along with Hermione's pat explanation of how it will all work out....it's just very, very rushed, which makes it seem highly unrealistic and a bit unbelievable.

I don't want you to take this as flaming, because I absolutely don't mean it that way! Despite what I wrote above, I think this is a good story, different from the usual stuff, very compelling, and the writing itself is good. Obviously you've given some thought to the plot, and you've got some good backstory, I just think you should expand on it a little more, and slow the pace of the story down a bit. I do hope you continue it, I'm curious to see where you go with it, and as I've said, it's well written and compelling. Please update soon.

good story

Awww...luurrve teh fluff! Hehehehe, I've got the 'warm fuzzies' from this fic. A little bit of angst & romantic banter with a healthy dose of hot smex; nicely done. It's always nice to see Harry find happiness. Please continue.

I can't remember if I have reviewed this before or not...I know that I have read it before multiple times. I hope that you decided to continue writing the story. I really do enjoy it and would like to know what is up with the Ginny dream. I mean is it just a dream or is something more going on?

Please update soon!

*sigh* DUDE...dude.......nice!

Why did you stop I loved it so far please continue