Of Beauty

well that was simply annoying! i cant believe it got caught off! but here is the rest! thanks cc for letting me know!


~ James\' p.o.v ~

I hadn’t spoken to Sirius all day, I knew that we would have to talk about this, that if we didn’t the anger and pain in me will consume me, eat me alive, but still I waited patiently for Remus\' release from the infirmary.

It took another day, but Remus was released that late afternoon.
We all met in our room, Sirius included.
The silence stretched painfully on, as no one knew what to say, was it the end for our friendship? I hoped not, it was even more painful to bear.
Sirius sat far from us, on his bed, while we all stood next to Peter\'s bed, on the far corner of the room, and then Remus spoke, his voice full of pain and astonishment, as though he could think of nothing else but this pain, it was so deeply rooted within him, that he could only speak softly, voice barely overheard above the loud rumble of hungry students rushing towards dinner.

\"You betrayed me. I trusted you and you put my life at risk, I almost killed snape and James, because of your recklessness. Did you even care? Was I nothing to you? Our friendship nothing?\"
He demanded, his voice icy cold, his eyes, burning with liquid fire, scorching his eyes. All the attention in the room turned towards Sirius\' who was still sitting motionless, his head lowered, gaze locked on the floor, he said nothing, not even an apology, he seemed defeated, which made my heart ache further.
\"Answer me! Look at me! I need to know this\" Remus demanded, his voice rising with his anger.
He looked up then, tears streaming down his golden cheeks, his purple eyes, so dark they seemed like empty black holes in his face, long lashes, so dark they conflicted with the unhealthy glow of his skin beneath his deep golden tan.
\"I didn’t mean it, I\'m sorry, I didn’t know, didn’t think\" he was rambling, his mind not really with us.
I knew that Dumbledore had not expelled him, but his punishment was quite severe, as Peter had heard from Sirius himself last night.
Sirius looked tired and drawn, almost haggard, his beauty even more pronounced by his staggering grief.
He had not slept since it happened, had not eaten, I worried for him, but I knew I could not let my love for him interfere. What he did was unforgivable, but I knew we would forgive, how could we not?

Remus remained silent then, the sight of Sirius\' tears disarming him, Sirius rarely cried if ever, and to see him in such an uncharacteristic way, was too hard to ignore, too difficult to remain angry.
And so Remus opened his mouth again, his voice soft but sorrowful, as he told Sirius of his decision.

\"I think we should keep our distance for a while, not speak, maybe we can move forward after this, I don’t know, but right now, the pain of what you did, Sirius, is just too great for me to easily forgive, you almost made a killer out of me, my worst nightmares, almost came true, with the aid of the lad I was sure was my best friend. So I think it will be best to let it go for now, to stay away for a while.\" He finished with a deep sigh, and I knew I would back him up, as much as I love Sirius I could not simply ignore this incident.
That it put a dent in our friendship? Sure. That it was broken forever? I hoped not.
\"I understand, I will move my things to another room by the end of dinner.\"
He said, with such immense sadness, and defeat, that I knew he was blaming himself, torturing himself inside his head, and I knew being away from us, will allow him to sink further, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop him.

Dinner that night, was a deadly quiet affair, Sirius hadn’t bothered showing up at all, though both me and Remmy looked anxiously at the entrance, waiting until the meal had ended, the dishes cleared away, but still he did not come.
When we arrived to our room, all of Sirius\' belongings were gone, he had moved out as promised, the room, now bore no mark of his presence, not even a faint breath of his sweet, yet masculine scent.
I sighed, and sat down on the now made bed, that no longer housed Sirius\' wonderful warmth and beauty, even the covers no longer carried his unique odor. It was empty, much like the side of his room, now seemed.
There were no shoes carelessly tossed around, no clothes covering his side of the room, no prank materials and dribbled scrunched up papers, of new ideas for pranks, or cute doodles littering the floor.
I fought away my tears, feeling Remus\' comforting weight next to me, as he sat down by my side, his hands pulling mine into his lap, simple holding them gently, I knew he felt my pain, I could feel it vibrating from him.
We sat there for many minutes, not saying a word, but I knew there was only one horribly disturbing thought in our minds.
Was this the end of the marauders?
God I hope not.




Well that is all, I hope you liked it, please review, I live off your kind words of wisdom. It also really helps my ego, so please be kind enough to drop me a line.

Next in Of Beauty: rumors, a very interesting party, a new love interest for Sirius, the end of the school year, and will the marauders finally reconcile? All of that and more on the next chapter of: Of Beauty.
Must warn you though it will be nc-17 for a reason.


I wish to take this opportunity to thank my wonderful readers, and also my reviewers, for dedicating their time to read this story and review, your efforts are highly appreciated. In fact you all got me hooked on reviews, so please give me some more.

Lupinslover- I\'m sorry if you were disappointed and I promise you there is lots of Sirius/Remus slashy goodness on the way, which I dedicate to you.

SchwarzKitsune- wow! My longest review ever! I love it, thank you.
Let\'s address the issues at hand. First sex with girls, mendetory, why? How else will he be able to compare, and decide what he should want,boys or girls?
Second, I don’t think Sirius is weak, just unhindered by society\'s rules, think about his upbringing. As for drinking and smoking with Cameron, he is experimenting, I myself don’t agree with it, but it fits the time, and Sirius personality.
As for Sirius\' conflicting emotions, well he is confused and unsure as any teenager, and he confuses between deep friendship and romantic love, but I\'m sure he will learn the difference soon enough.
As for Remus, I think it is important to understand that Remus\' feeling are tainted by urges, he is a werewolf and acts upon his animal instincts, but his mind and body already see Sirius as his mate, which should make his feelings clear, he loves and lusts after Sirius as he should.
Thank you for your thoughts, I enjoyed seeing my story and plot through your eyes.
As for adding everything and crossing boundaries all I can say is you haven’t seen nothing yet, baby. I have plenty more new and interesting plot twists to add, be prepared.
I\'m glad that you like the story as is.
Hope to receive another long \"rant\" for this chapter as well; god knows this chapter is long enough to deserve it. lol.

sammyBlack- thank you, you are too sweet. I hope this chapter is long enough.
I thought James and Sirius\' relationship should be more complex thanks for noticing.
As for book 5, I know what you mean, the end of it pushed me right back into this fic, where Sirius is still alive and causing mischief.
I felt the same way about Remus too, that he was all alone again,'s t's terrible.
It was very evil of her. It was such a pointless plotless death!
Thank you for your unbelievable compliment, I try to stick to the marauder sprit as much as possible.
Please let me know what you think of this chapter since it deals with a very important famous incident. And because I also love your reviews!

Renne- don’t worry about Remmy he will get his soon enough. As for Sirius getting his freak on, as you can see he did! Lol! Also expect more in the next few chapters.
Thanks for reviewing, let me know what you think.

Silvara- thank you, I\'m glad you liked it, hope you will like this one as well it is longer. As for Peter and James, well there is a fine line between adoration and love, who knows Peter, might attempt to cross it? I don’t know yet. Please let me know what you think of this chapter.

Fogar- thanks! I hope you will love this one even more.

Wolf- well I hope I updated fast enough! You can also see why it took so damn long! It\'s my longest chapter to date. Hope you will enjoy it.
And I can assure of more Yaoi goodness on the way!
Please review, I love your reviews, they make my Sirius\' muse swell with pride (they also help my ego a bit, but shhh don’t tell!) lol.

Well thanks again folks! Chapter 8 is already in writing, I fear it will also be very long!
I\'m now heading back to slave away at my computer to produce chapter 8 as fast as possible!
So please review, it keeps the little Sirius muse in my head happy and creative!