The Princess Bride of Hogwarts
folder
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
2,458
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
2,458
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 6
I know that these author notes are probably bugging the holy hell out of you and I apologize for it but I’m trying to only write them when I think they’re necessary, like now. I would like to point out that you might get miffed at me for really messing with the characters. More will eventually be explained at the end of this chapter so as I don’t spoil things for ya. That said enjoy what I’ve written. Thank-you!!
Chapter 6
Upon hearing of the princesses kidnapping Prince Malfoy set out to find her. He had found his way to the cliffs where Hermione was first taken to. Malfoy was now examining the ground there.
“There was a mighty duel. It ranged all over. They were both masters.” said Malfoy.
Malfoy’s confidant Count Goyle questioned. “Who won? How did it end?”
Ignoring the questions Malfoy continued speaking as he searched. “The loser ran off alone…while the winner…followed those footprints toward Guilder.”
“Shall we track them both?” Goyle asked.
“The loser is nothing. Only the princess matters. Clearly, this was all planned by warriors of Guilder. We must all be ready for whatever lies ahead.” said Malfoy as he mounted his horse.
“Could this be a trap?”
“I always think everything could be a trap. Which is why I’m still alive.” replied the prince. He then turned and with the Count and five other men rode off in the direction of Guilder.
----------------------------------
Mib was now running over the open plains hoping to spot Crabbe and the princess. A while later he found he was in luck. He slowed to a stop before the two of them sitting at a small boulder set up to be a makeshift table. The princess, he noticed, was blindfolded and Crabbe was holding a dagger to her throat.
“So it is down to you and it down to me.” Crabbe said. Mib slowly took two steps forward. “If you wish her dead by all means keep moving forward.” continued Crabbe.
“Let me explain.” Mib took a couple more small steps forward.
“There’s nothing to explain. You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.”
“Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?” Mib questioned while daring a few more steps forward.
“There will be no arrangement, and your killing her.” Carbbe poked the dagger closer to Hermione’s neck. She hissed with what sounded like a mixture of pain and fright. At this Mib stopped in his tracks.
“If there can be no arrangement then we are at an impasse.”
“I’m afraid so. I can’t compete with you physically…and your no match for my brains.”
“Your that smart?”
“Let me put it this way…have you ever heard of Plato, Airstotle, Socrates?”
“Yes.”
“Morons.”
“Really? In that case I challenge you to a battle of wits.”
“For the princess?” Mib gave a nod. “To the death?” Another nod. “I accept.”
Mib took this as an invitation to sit down. “Good then pour the wine.” Mib then pulled out a small cylinder type container handing it to Crabbe as he spoke. “Inhale this but do not touch.”
“I smell nothing.”
“What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odourless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid…and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.”
Mib then took the two wine glasses hid them and the cylinder of iocane from Crabbe’s view. Crabbe watched on curiously as Mib turned back to him with the wine. Mib switched the goblets around before he set one in front of each of them.
“All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink…and find out who is right, and who is dead.”
“But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine of what I know of you-- are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison in his own goblet knowing that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known that I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You’ve made your decision then?”
“Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows…and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals and criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.”
“Truly you have a dizzying intellect.”
“Wait till I get going! Where was I?”
“Australia.”
“Yes, Australia. You would have counted on me knowing the powders origin so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“Your just stalling now.”
“You’d like to think that wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant which means your exceptionally strong. So you could have put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you’ve also bested my Spaniard impersonator. Which means you must have studied and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.” Crabbe shot off at a rapid speed.
“Your trying to trick me into giving something away, it won’t work.”
“It has worked! You’ve given everything away, I know where the poison is.”
“Then make your choice.”
“I will and I choose…what in the world can that be?” Crabbe said pointing behind Mib. With Mib facing the other way Crabbe switched the goblets around.
“What? Where? I don’t see anything.”
“I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.” Crabbe chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’ll tell you in a minute. First lets drink, me from my glass and you from yours.”
They picked up there goblets and drank. Crabbe smiled and chuckled again as he set down his goblet.
“Guessed wrong.” Mib told Crabbe.
“You only think I guessed wrong that’s what’s so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned. Ha ha you fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.” but only slightly less well know is this, “Never go in against a Sicillian when death is on the line!”
Crabbe cackled at this until he keeled over dead. Mib went over to Hermione taking off her blindfold.
“Who are you?” she questioned.
“I’m no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know.”
“And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.”
“They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.”
Mib then grabbed Hermione forcing her to run with him. Hermione having no other options, yet, choose to go along with him until she could find a way to escape.
***********
Now for the rest of my authors note. One of the questions I’m sure you have is why in the hell did I pick Crabbe to be Vizzini, especially since Vizzini has brains and Crabbe barely has any to fill a toon.oon. Well my reason is this…he was killed! I couldn’t bear the thought of actually killing off a good character from hp, besides he was a goon in hp so better to put him as a goon here to!
Now I would also like to pay thanks to my reviewers who are like way cool for even have given my fic a chance. Thank-you thank-you thank-you! Paprika, PrideandPrejudice, Me, oz_angel21, and ShodanHalo!! Y’all rock majorly!!
Chapter 6
Upon hearing of the princesses kidnapping Prince Malfoy set out to find her. He had found his way to the cliffs where Hermione was first taken to. Malfoy was now examining the ground there.
“There was a mighty duel. It ranged all over. They were both masters.” said Malfoy.
Malfoy’s confidant Count Goyle questioned. “Who won? How did it end?”
Ignoring the questions Malfoy continued speaking as he searched. “The loser ran off alone…while the winner…followed those footprints toward Guilder.”
“Shall we track them both?” Goyle asked.
“The loser is nothing. Only the princess matters. Clearly, this was all planned by warriors of Guilder. We must all be ready for whatever lies ahead.” said Malfoy as he mounted his horse.
“Could this be a trap?”
“I always think everything could be a trap. Which is why I’m still alive.” replied the prince. He then turned and with the Count and five other men rode off in the direction of Guilder.
----------------------------------
Mib was now running over the open plains hoping to spot Crabbe and the princess. A while later he found he was in luck. He slowed to a stop before the two of them sitting at a small boulder set up to be a makeshift table. The princess, he noticed, was blindfolded and Crabbe was holding a dagger to her throat.
“So it is down to you and it down to me.” Crabbe said. Mib slowly took two steps forward. “If you wish her dead by all means keep moving forward.” continued Crabbe.
“Let me explain.” Mib took a couple more small steps forward.
“There’s nothing to explain. You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.”
“Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?” Mib questioned while daring a few more steps forward.
“There will be no arrangement, and your killing her.” Carbbe poked the dagger closer to Hermione’s neck. She hissed with what sounded like a mixture of pain and fright. At this Mib stopped in his tracks.
“If there can be no arrangement then we are at an impasse.”
“I’m afraid so. I can’t compete with you physically…and your no match for my brains.”
“Your that smart?”
“Let me put it this way…have you ever heard of Plato, Airstotle, Socrates?”
“Yes.”
“Morons.”
“Really? In that case I challenge you to a battle of wits.”
“For the princess?” Mib gave a nod. “To the death?” Another nod. “I accept.”
Mib took this as an invitation to sit down. “Good then pour the wine.” Mib then pulled out a small cylinder type container handing it to Crabbe as he spoke. “Inhale this but do not touch.”
“I smell nothing.”
“What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odourless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid…and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.”
Mib then took the two wine glasses hid them and the cylinder of iocane from Crabbe’s view. Crabbe watched on curiously as Mib turned back to him with the wine. Mib switched the goblets around before he set one in front of each of them.
“All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink…and find out who is right, and who is dead.”
“But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine of what I know of you-- are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison in his own goblet knowing that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known that I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You’ve made your decision then?”
“Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows…and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals and criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.”
“Truly you have a dizzying intellect.”
“Wait till I get going! Where was I?”
“Australia.”
“Yes, Australia. You would have counted on me knowing the powders origin so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“Your just stalling now.”
“You’d like to think that wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant which means your exceptionally strong. So you could have put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you’ve also bested my Spaniard impersonator. Which means you must have studied and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.” Crabbe shot off at a rapid speed.
“Your trying to trick me into giving something away, it won’t work.”
“It has worked! You’ve given everything away, I know where the poison is.”
“Then make your choice.”
“I will and I choose…what in the world can that be?” Crabbe said pointing behind Mib. With Mib facing the other way Crabbe switched the goblets around.
“What? Where? I don’t see anything.”
“I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.” Crabbe chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’ll tell you in a minute. First lets drink, me from my glass and you from yours.”
They picked up there goblets and drank. Crabbe smiled and chuckled again as he set down his goblet.
“Guessed wrong.” Mib told Crabbe.
“You only think I guessed wrong that’s what’s so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned. Ha ha you fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.” but only slightly less well know is this, “Never go in against a Sicillian when death is on the line!”
Crabbe cackled at this until he keeled over dead. Mib went over to Hermione taking off her blindfold.
“Who are you?” she questioned.
“I’m no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know.”
“And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.”
“They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.”
Mib then grabbed Hermione forcing her to run with him. Hermione having no other options, yet, choose to go along with him until she could find a way to escape.
***********
Now for the rest of my authors note. One of the questions I’m sure you have is why in the hell did I pick Crabbe to be Vizzini, especially since Vizzini has brains and Crabbe barely has any to fill a toon.oon. Well my reason is this…he was killed! I couldn’t bear the thought of actually killing off a good character from hp, besides he was a goon in hp so better to put him as a goon here to!
Now I would also like to pay thanks to my reviewers who are like way cool for even have given my fic a chance. Thank-you thank-you thank-you! Paprika, PrideandPrejudice, Me, oz_angel21, and ShodanHalo!! Y’all rock majorly!!