The (Not-So-)Black Letters
folder
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
11
Views:
10,093
Reviews:
41
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
11
Views:
10,093
Reviews:
41
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter or any of his characters, settings, etc. I (sadly) do not make any profit from this.
One Annoying Beetle
Story: The (Not-So-)Black Letters
Summary: Harry sends a surprising letter to Headmaster Dumbledore. He's joined Voldemort. What Dumbledore doesn't understand is why Harry has to keep sending mail...mail that reads itself aloud, nonetheless...during breakfasts...at the Great Hall!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of his characters.
Hope you enjoy it!
Today's chapter is longer than usual (around 900 words) to make up for the lack of comic relief I promised. I'm terribly sorry, but it just didn't work out that way. I'll try harder on next chapter, which should be up by sathurday.
Thanks to all my awesome reviewers!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following morning found Hermione sitting alone at the Gryffindor Table, blatantly ignored by her peers, and a quite unhappy Dumbledore trying to brush off the staff’s angry questioning. Dumbledore tried to appear calm, while inside he was seething. Everybody had been asking him about Harry’s previous letter. At least had he managed to retain that –admitedly annoying- ‘squaking’ thing he would have been able to make it look like he just couldn’t answer, but it had mysteriously disappeared the minute he had left the Hall. The garish yellow had stayed, though, and it clashed horribly with his robes.
When he had finally managed to retreat to his office Minerva had burst through the doors in a huff, her eyes promising murder if things weren’t explained to her satisfaction right now. By the end of the day Dumbledore was quite ready to kill the Potter brat. Even Severus had dared speak against him –and He was the only reason the ungrateful little git had managed to stay out of prison!
Hermione’s day hadn’t been any better. While most Gryffindors had no idea of who the Sholemoff were, Neville had for once managed to gather whatever Gryffindor courage he had within him and vocally explained about the dark family, believed to be extinct. And while Neville informed the Gryffindors, many of the Slytherins had taken it upon themselves to spread what little was known about them to the rest of the school. By the end of the day Hermione was a social outcast, and everybody refused to speak to her –that is, aside from Ron, who was way too occupied sulking about everybody snubbing him because of Harry’s letter to pay her any attention.
The mistrustful glares that Hermione had been subjected to all day long had soon transferred to the Headmaster, as they had learned about them being close relatives, and they knew it would have been impossible for him not to know. The blind trust the Headmaster had been recipient of for the last couple of decades was vanishing at an alarming speed.
When Hedwig came, the stares fixed on her were hungry, as students and teachers alike waited with bated breath for more secrets to be unfolded, curious and apprehensive, not wanting to know but needing to. The Headmaster, however, started sweating, asking himself what more incriminating things could that boy possibly know. This time Hedwig had her black feathers back, though there was silver embroidery on them, and her beak and claws were silver too.
“Good Morning.”
Read a cold, cultured voice with a sibilant tilt to it. By the way both Snape and Dumbledore paled, they had recognized it.
“I am Lord Voldemort.
I write this in lieu of Harry, as he has not been able to do so himself –he was laughing too much to hold a quill still enough for the charm to recognize his writing.
As I find the Daily Prophet explains things wonderfully, I wont bother explicating things further.
Enjoy.”
With that the letter folded on itself and dissolved in a languid puff of light-grey smoke. Before the students had time to fully panic –one thing was to receive letters from The-Boy-Who-Lived-to-Turn-Dark, but Lord Voldemort, Dark Lord Supreme, was a very different thing- hundreds of owls fled into the Hall, all of them carrying the Prophet in their beaks. Each and every student was handed a copy of the Prophet, as well as the teachers. A very shaky Dumbledore took his first look at the front page and almost fainted. There, on big, bold letters, were the words: “The Dumbledore Conspiracy: Is the Headmaster truly Light? By Rita Skeeter”. Not daring to read it but knowing better than to ignore it, he soon held his half-moon glasses over his crooked nose and started reading.
“The Dumbledore Conspiracy.
By Rita Skeeter.
The much-popular scandal known of as The Black Letters may not be so dark after all.
Recent events at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have uncovered the true nature of many of The-Boy-Who-Lived supposed friends. It was told to the school at large by reliable sources that the BWL was subjected to harsh abuse at his muggle relatives house. And who placed him there, this reporter asks? After many weeks of arduous investigation, I’ve found that it was none other than Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, self-proclaimed leader of the Light Side.
Furthermore, Harry Potter’s best friends –and I do employ that term loosely- were actually hired by –suprise, surprise- Albus Dumbledore! Ronald Weasley was found to have been paid to act as The-Boy-Who-Lived’s best friend, all the while reporting to Headmaster Dumbledore. Hermione Granger, or should we say, Hermione Sholemoff, was none other than Dumbledore’s long lost third removed cousin, and had been working for Dumbledore all along, pretending to be a muggleborn.
In the latest scandal at Hogwarts, Dumbledore was found to have rigged the House Cup in 1991, and doubt has been cast over the truthfulness of many other House Cups since he became Headmaster in 1956.
A veritable wealth of information regarding Dumbledore’s life before his defeat of G. Grindelwald has come to light, as his previously unquestionable integrity has been subjected to scrutiny, and public dubiousness about him has once more been permitted.
(Further information on BWL’s childhood, page 9. For the article on Ronald Weasley and the intricacies of the Weasley Family, page 10. The Sholemoff Fake, page 12. Dumbledore’s early crimes, page 5. )
My dear readers, expect a thorough report on Dumbledore’s teenage involvement with G. Grindelwald, Dark Wizard, in this weekend special edition of the Prophet.
Yours truly,
Rita Skeeter.”
Somewhere in the Hall a beetle smiled smugly as Headmaster Dumbledore fainted.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R&R? Please? rubbbeetle-shaped cookies for every reviewer!
I just realized what the Twins said about Lee wasn’t right –he should have finished school like, two years ago. So...do you think I should just cross that out, or leave it like that with an A/n explaining I know it’s not cannon?
(by the way, with Rowling’s timeline there’s no way Harry ever saw Lie to Me, but I claim poetic licence, ok? ;) )
Summary: Harry sends a surprising letter to Headmaster Dumbledore. He's joined Voldemort. What Dumbledore doesn't understand is why Harry has to keep sending mail...mail that reads itself aloud, nonetheless...during breakfasts...at the Great Hall!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of his characters.
Hope you enjoy it!
Today's chapter is longer than usual (around 900 words) to make up for the lack of comic relief I promised. I'm terribly sorry, but it just didn't work out that way. I'll try harder on next chapter, which should be up by sathurday.
Thanks to all my awesome reviewers!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following morning found Hermione sitting alone at the Gryffindor Table, blatantly ignored by her peers, and a quite unhappy Dumbledore trying to brush off the staff’s angry questioning. Dumbledore tried to appear calm, while inside he was seething. Everybody had been asking him about Harry’s previous letter. At least had he managed to retain that –admitedly annoying- ‘squaking’ thing he would have been able to make it look like he just couldn’t answer, but it had mysteriously disappeared the minute he had left the Hall. The garish yellow had stayed, though, and it clashed horribly with his robes.
When he had finally managed to retreat to his office Minerva had burst through the doors in a huff, her eyes promising murder if things weren’t explained to her satisfaction right now. By the end of the day Dumbledore was quite ready to kill the Potter brat. Even Severus had dared speak against him –and He was the only reason the ungrateful little git had managed to stay out of prison!
Hermione’s day hadn’t been any better. While most Gryffindors had no idea of who the Sholemoff were, Neville had for once managed to gather whatever Gryffindor courage he had within him and vocally explained about the dark family, believed to be extinct. And while Neville informed the Gryffindors, many of the Slytherins had taken it upon themselves to spread what little was known about them to the rest of the school. By the end of the day Hermione was a social outcast, and everybody refused to speak to her –that is, aside from Ron, who was way too occupied sulking about everybody snubbing him because of Harry’s letter to pay her any attention.
The mistrustful glares that Hermione had been subjected to all day long had soon transferred to the Headmaster, as they had learned about them being close relatives, and they knew it would have been impossible for him not to know. The blind trust the Headmaster had been recipient of for the last couple of decades was vanishing at an alarming speed.
When Hedwig came, the stares fixed on her were hungry, as students and teachers alike waited with bated breath for more secrets to be unfolded, curious and apprehensive, not wanting to know but needing to. The Headmaster, however, started sweating, asking himself what more incriminating things could that boy possibly know. This time Hedwig had her black feathers back, though there was silver embroidery on them, and her beak and claws were silver too.
“Good Morning.”
Read a cold, cultured voice with a sibilant tilt to it. By the way both Snape and Dumbledore paled, they had recognized it.
“I am Lord Voldemort.
I write this in lieu of Harry, as he has not been able to do so himself –he was laughing too much to hold a quill still enough for the charm to recognize his writing.
As I find the Daily Prophet explains things wonderfully, I wont bother explicating things further.
Enjoy.”
With that the letter folded on itself and dissolved in a languid puff of light-grey smoke. Before the students had time to fully panic –one thing was to receive letters from The-Boy-Who-Lived-to-Turn-Dark, but Lord Voldemort, Dark Lord Supreme, was a very different thing- hundreds of owls fled into the Hall, all of them carrying the Prophet in their beaks. Each and every student was handed a copy of the Prophet, as well as the teachers. A very shaky Dumbledore took his first look at the front page and almost fainted. There, on big, bold letters, were the words: “The Dumbledore Conspiracy: Is the Headmaster truly Light? By Rita Skeeter”. Not daring to read it but knowing better than to ignore it, he soon held his half-moon glasses over his crooked nose and started reading.
“The Dumbledore Conspiracy.
By Rita Skeeter.
The much-popular scandal known of as The Black Letters may not be so dark after all.
Recent events at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have uncovered the true nature of many of The-Boy-Who-Lived supposed friends. It was told to the school at large by reliable sources that the BWL was subjected to harsh abuse at his muggle relatives house. And who placed him there, this reporter asks? After many weeks of arduous investigation, I’ve found that it was none other than Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, self-proclaimed leader of the Light Side.
Furthermore, Harry Potter’s best friends –and I do employ that term loosely- were actually hired by –suprise, surprise- Albus Dumbledore! Ronald Weasley was found to have been paid to act as The-Boy-Who-Lived’s best friend, all the while reporting to Headmaster Dumbledore. Hermione Granger, or should we say, Hermione Sholemoff, was none other than Dumbledore’s long lost third removed cousin, and had been working for Dumbledore all along, pretending to be a muggleborn.
In the latest scandal at Hogwarts, Dumbledore was found to have rigged the House Cup in 1991, and doubt has been cast over the truthfulness of many other House Cups since he became Headmaster in 1956.
A veritable wealth of information regarding Dumbledore’s life before his defeat of G. Grindelwald has come to light, as his previously unquestionable integrity has been subjected to scrutiny, and public dubiousness about him has once more been permitted.
(Further information on BWL’s childhood, page 9. For the article on Ronald Weasley and the intricacies of the Weasley Family, page 10. The Sholemoff Fake, page 12. Dumbledore’s early crimes, page 5. )
My dear readers, expect a thorough report on Dumbledore’s teenage involvement with G. Grindelwald, Dark Wizard, in this weekend special edition of the Prophet.
Yours truly,
Rita Skeeter.”
Somewhere in the Hall a beetle smiled smugly as Headmaster Dumbledore fainted.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R&R? Please? rubbbeetle-shaped cookies for every reviewer!
I just realized what the Twins said about Lee wasn’t right –he should have finished school like, two years ago. So...do you think I should just cross that out, or leave it like that with an A/n explaining I know it’s not cannon?
(by the way, with Rowling’s timeline there’s no way Harry ever saw Lie to Me, but I claim poetic licence, ok? ;) )