The Sins Of A Father

Chapter Seven: The Little Incident





It had been a few days since Harry and I had that little talk in the car. He had calmed down and seem to act normally, well normally as one can be with that little problem weighing them down. He just seemed to forget.



Well, until later on in the months.



But I haven’t gotten there yet.



19th of March.



Jimmy’s birthday.



And for that special occasion, I took a day off work. Pulled a sickie, if you wanted to know the truth, and so had Harry, along with the birthday boy. So, just for Jimmy, my wife and kids are going to Legoland. FUN FOR ALL AGES.



Oh joy.



Alas, I still had to act like I was enjoying myself for Jimmy, of course. Just to see that wonderful smile on his cute, little face.



It was 6:15 am. Early, I know, but we did have to go to Windsor.



I was dressed in casual wear to be more comfortable: dark blue, fitted jeans, slightly loose, with a black belt metal buckle; black, long sleeved top, rolled up to my elbows; and a pair of brown boots. Hair tied back by a black, leather thong, slightly loose with a few short, loose strands on my forehead. Just stopping at my eyebrows.



Currently, I was too busy to find the keys to the Bentley. Good for a family car, and stylish, but like any other car, it comes with keys.



Keys that were currently lost.



While the family was almost ready, I was wondering around the house like a madman chanting…



“Keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys, keys,…” I chanted under my breath.



Really, I don’t tend to misplace any other objects. I had my wallet full of credit cards and a handful of cash to be safe. Wearing my sliver watch. My silver bracelet. My platinum wedding band. But no keys.



What kind of luck do we have when it involves us men and keys!



“Papa?” Ah Harry!



I was in the living room, my hand stuck in the side of the sofa looking for, you guessed it, KEYS! I looked over at him briefly. He was wearing a cream t-shirt and simple, stone-washed, light blue jeans with white trainers. He was looking at me, giving me a look that said clearly: ‘Are you ok?’, but not in a concerned way, in those ‘Are you mad’? ways.



I was still chanting: “Keys.” Really, that should explain it all, and it did. He just nodded, completely understanding, then he helped me search for those damned objects.



A few moments later, Lily came downstairs holding hands with Jimmy.



Lily wore white, slim-fitted jeans with a pink non-sleeve top, a pink jacket, a black, small purse on her slender shoulder, and wearing a pair of pink Nike trainers, hair tied back neatly.



Jimmy was wearing a plain, black pair of bottoms with zippers on the side, a red Power Ranger t-shirt, a black jacket, and red Power Ranger trainers that had the heels light up by the pressure as he stepped down on it.



By then, I was looking around the bookshelves.



“Severus, we’re ready. Harry, what are you doing?”



She looked over at Harry who was looking under the furniture.



“Keys,” I answered for him.



“Keys?” she replied.



I nodded. “Keys.” My back was facing her. Then I heard a loud sigh and a noise that sounded remarkably like…“Keys!” I couldn’t help but grin. “Where did you find them?”



She sighed again, shaking her head hopelessly. “Really, Severus, you should remember where you’ve left them. They were on the nightstand drawer!”



I remembered, and then gave a goofy grin that I will only show to my family. I show any type of dumbness only to them, really. I walked over, bent down and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. “See? There was a reason I married you, Petal!” I took the keys out of her hand.



She smirked a little and playfully joked, “Where would you ever be with out me, Sev?”



I chuckled. “Probably still looking for the keys.” I looked over at Jimmy and ruffled his hair. “So, birthday boy, ready to go to Legoland?”



“Yep!” He grinned and went off into the hallway. “Come on, Slowpokes!”



Lily went off to follow Jimmy and then I started to check my pockets to make sure I had everything I needed. “Wallet, keys, mobile. Yep, everything I need I’ve got.” I turned around to make sure I did not forget anything that I have might of missed. I saw Harry with a strange look on his face. He was blinking a little too fast, but I thought it was his eye contacts slightly misplaced.



I smiled and put my arm around his waist to lead him to the door. “Come on, son, don’t want to be too late. You know how Jimmy is with queues on a ride he likes.”



“Yeah…” He whispered a little shakily, and went out of the door after me.



And it just got a bit stranger throughout the day.



There’s hardly anyone on the streets, or even cars on the streets in the early morning, so I knew we would get to the theme park pretty earlier then accounted for. Well, that plus I like to drive a little faster than most people. Especially on the motorway.



Windsor: just on the outskirts of London. We got there pretty quickly, then I remembered the last time when I took Harry and Lily there, before Lily and I even got married. Maybe this time I was not nervous to impress Jimmy like I did with Harry. I smiled and looked into the visor to see my Harry quietly sleeping, leaning against his hand on the window, Jimmy quietly tucked into his corner.



Harry.



He was really such a beautiful child. I still remember when he and Lily first moved in with me. I was so happy. I truly do deeply care about them both. Perhaps, most of all for Harry, as I never did get on so well with other children. Never had patience, really. But with Harry, I couldn’t help but to spend more time with him. That time I had to, for Lily’s and for both Harry\'s and my relationship’s sake, but just over a day I just could not help but spend more time with him. Willingly. He’s just the type to grow on you, and I loved every bit of it.



Still do.



He will always be my little boy, my little Harry who’s scared of a little thunderstorm. My little raven who has a bad nightmare after visiting Potter and crawls into bed with me and his mother, curls into my chest and gives me a little kiss on the nearest path of skin he could reach. Sometimes he’s such a vulnerable child but he’s still MY child, my son that I will wipe his little crocodile tears away. My little boy that I will forever protect and love.



My child. My son. My Harry.



Once we got into the nearest town by the theme park, I stopped the car near by a café. It was just about 7:30, so I knew that the park gates were not even opened yet. So I woke up the sleeping family to come in and have some breakfast. Once they got up, rather grudgingly, I thought, they stepped out of the car and went into the café I was pointing at.



I grinned. You can guess they are not really morning people.



Once we were inside, we were seated in one of the corner tables by the window. Harry sat by the window, me next to him with our backs to the yellowed wall with Jimmy opposite Harry and Lily opposite me.



We all had the breakfast menu. Well, except Jimmy, of course, as he had the kid’s menu. I looked around to notice just a few people here and there, mostly old people. Well except another family across the room. Just one man, woman, a girl, and a boy. I say the girl was about Jimmy’s age while the boy was about Harry’s maybe, perhaps, even slightly older, but not by much. And I had also noticed the boy, who had brown hair and blue eyes, was glancing at Harry a few times. Harry didn’t notice it, though.



Not yet.



I thought it was just me being protective, since I did not want to see Harry hurt in any way. So NATURALLY I was sending the boy across the room a glare that would make the most hard-pressed judge quiver in his white wig.



But of course it wasn’t that, was it? But, alas, you’ll find out more in due time.



The boy tried to hold my stare, but glanced away shortly after.



“Severus?”



I then noticed that I was still glaring at the boy, not noticing the old waitress next to the table, waiting for my order, having already taken the rest of the family’s order. “Oh, sorry, just thinking,” I mumbled and looked at the old lady and gave a little smile. “Just the full English and a cup of black tea, please.” I needed something bitter to keep me calmed down.



“Severus, are you ok?” Lily asked with concern in her green eyes. She always knew when something is-or if it was- bothering me, since the moment I had met her. I had always thought that I never gave anything away when I wanted to, but then again, maybe Lily was actually the first person to care what I thought and not expect something in return that related to winning a case or a packet of a condom in my hand.



I smirked at the memories. It was not like I was complaining at the time.



Now Jimmy was waving his little hand in front of my face. I looked at it, making me cross-eyed and playfully trying to bite the hand with a snap of my teeth. Jimmy giggled. “See, Mummy, Daddy is ok!”



Lily smiled, but still looked at me asking THE silent question in her eyes.



I smiled and looked at Jimmy. “Of course, son! It\'s your birthday, and I bet you already know what ride you want to go on…” I winked, loving the look of pure, childlike joy lighting up his beautiful, little, puppy-fat face.



Then it all started. Jimmy was talking rapidly about what rides to go on first, what’s new, and what food to eat. Lily and I were eating our breakfast slowly, making sure to look interested in our son’s conversation and engaging in the little talk a few times. But then I noticed that Harry was not even listening. Oh no, he was rather busy with something else. He was sending glances at THAT boy.



And the little shit had the balls to look back!



You know, I was very confused at why I was so raged by this little show of teenage lust then. I just had the urge to go up to that boy and pull out his eyeballs to make sure to not look a my son ever again. I thought that I was just being a parent and getting slightly over protective; I was always very attached to Harry when him, Lily, and I started to act like a family. That was what I was thinking then, plus what Harry had told me how hurt he is by loving someone else and not getting it returned.



I simply convinced myself to make sure that Harry did NOT get hurt EVER again, when I can help it, but I couldn’t just go over there and threaten the boy, could I? And it seemed that Harry was getting a little interested, too.



I stopped eating then. It was making me sick, and I didn’t know why, so I excused myself and went to the toilets. I just did not want to be there at that table looking at that little exchange.



Besides, I needed to take a piss. Once I got there and did my business, it was not to long before a certain boy came along.



“Papa?”



“Yes?” I really did not mean to sound so harsh, but it slipped out before I could calm down.



“…Are you…Are you ok, Papa?”



No. No I am NOT ok, Harry, because I don’t like you looking at that boy, and I DO NOT like him looking at you! I’m pissed off and I bloody don’t know WHY I’m pissed off. All I know is that I want to rip that boy’s head off and take you away, very FAR away from him, and I’m so FUCKING CONFUSED.



That was what I wanted to say then, but instead I just pulled a fake smile, and said in a much more calmer voice, “Of course, Harry, just a little tired. What about you? Are you ok?” I zipped up my trousers and went to wash my hands.



Harry was still standing by the door looking, a bit worried and THAT confused me even more. He nodded. “Yes, Papa, I just came here to say that we’ve all finished and we’re ready to go.” He looked at me and gave me a bright smile. “\'Specially Jimmy, Papa.”



I was drying my hands now, Harry giving me a smile that made me much more calm, and I forgot about my rage.



But I could not stop thinking about the glances. I mean, what about?…“Harry, I don’t want to sound some nosy little parent and off to make you embarrassed as much as I can, but…what was happening back there, son?”



Harry blushed a light dash of red on his cheeks. “What about, Papa?”



I went over to lean against the counter where the sinks were.“Harry, I saw what you and that…-” here I had to very well bite my tongue to make sure I would not say something that would upset Harry, “-young man across the room... I thought you were with Draco?” I patted the space next to me to make him come closer and away from the door.



Harry looked at the exist wistfully. Was he regretting? I thought it was, perhaps, something to do with the young Malfoy. Harry came along and leaned against the counter making sure not to touch me, and that made me a little sad at the thought.



“Harry?” I said it in a much more calm, smoother tone.



“I WAS with Draco, but we just…Well, actually, I just thought it was best for us to just be friends, you know? And he seemed ok about it. I mean, I think we’re just better off as friends? We talk and tell our secrets as friends do, so it just kinda seemed wrong to think of him more than that.”



At that time, that sentence alone made me the happiest man there was.



And it confused the fuck out of me even more.



But I pushed away those thoughts as far as I could, as I had to be a loving father here, remember? “Are you sure that was what Draco wanted, also? Did he take it well?”



Harry just stared at the floor, deep in his thoughts. Then he nodded slowly a few seconds later. “I think so…” he quietly mumbled.



I put my arm around his shoulder lightly for silent support. “Harry?” I had sympathy for Draco somewhat.



Only a shred though.



He leaned into me while shutting his eyes. He sighed very gently. I almost thought it was sort of ‘being at peace’ sigh, but I was thinking then that it might of been a sigh of tiredness. “Papa…Have you ever wished that you could change something if you could?”



I held a snort, but it came out a grunt. “I think everyone wishes that, son…” I put my head on top of his smaller one, so he was more leaning into my neck.



“What was your wish, Papa? If you wished something, that is?” He nuzzled into my neck a little bit more, and I loved every moment of it because I felt that I could protect my little boy even more.



I hummed in thought. “Well, it would be that I could change my way of living a little bit more in the past, Harry…” Well, you could guess what that may be. I\'ll give you a hint: Draco was the sperm.



“Like what?”



Here, I was getting a little uncomfortable. Harry should not really know what my past actions were. It’s not very suitable is it? “Just something of no real importance, son, but tell me, why this sudden question, Raven?”



I felt his smile when I called him by his nickname. “\'Cause there are loads of things I wish I could change, Papa. But even if I COULD go back and change it…I don’t think I could really change it, Papa…”



I kissed that adorable bird\'s nest he passes off as hair. “I think it is wise to never change anything, Harry. Of course, there are a few things one would love to change, but…sometimes it\' best to leave the past just as that: the past.”



“But what if the past is still the present and the future, Papa?” he quietly said.



I smiled a little warily into his hair. “Well, Raven, we must learn to deal with it as best as we can. Sometimes we even learn from it. Especially the past. That makes us who we are today, son. Of course, it hurts sometimes, but it’s a crazy world out there, Harry, and we’re just a part of it to make it even more crazy.”



Harry giggled. It was a good thing, as we had a very depressing air around us. But then it got slightly weird and not as innocent I had thought it was. Well, I was convincing myself it was innocent then.



He took up my free hand into both of his, and nuzzled it to his cheek, and kissed the palm of my hand, then went back to nuzzling in the crook of my neck, feeling his soft lips rubbing against my skin.



My breathing had gotten slightly deeper, and it was enough to stop Harry on what he was doing. “I…” He was whispering so lightly, but besides in this empty restroom, the words were like thunder to my ears. “I…love you, Papa…”



Something told me then that he was saying something entirely different. When I think about it NOW…



Of course it bloody was, but I was too bloody stupid to think that then.



Or maybe I unknowingly did not want to think that?



I kissed his hair once again to dismiss any such fear when I stood away from Harry, and all the while convincing myself it was just a father to son act. He was just showing me that he cared about me, that’s all.



Man, I was REALLY bloody stupid.



I gave him a grin, trying my hardest to forget everything besides that this WAS a father to son moment. “Come on, son, I think we’ve stayed here a little too long. I’m sure Jimmy is getting restless now and will be barging in here and dragging us out any moment.”



I offered my hand. He just took a deep breath and smiled.



But I knew it was fake straight away.



But I simply walked us out and soon to forget the little incident.