I, Sirius

TITLE: I, Sirius


AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: shelley_runyon@yahoo.com


DISCLAIMER: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!


DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to all those fans whose enthusiasm and kind words keep me going!



I, Sirius
Reflections of the Brightest Star

Chapter VII - An Angel, A Train, A Hat, and a New Beginning

Do not scoff. I said angel, and I mean angel. Literally. For when I glanced toward the doorway I saw the most beautiful figure standing there, breathtakingly illuminated - he was so glorious that I thought he glowed. For a few moments, I was unable to respond, dazzled as I was by the light which emanated from this wondrous being. Luckily, my participation in the conversation was optional at that moment. Remus insists that it was simply a trick of the light that caught my eye, but I beg to disagree. It was Fate, and it had just brought me an angel. Although it took me quite a while to realize that. All I knew was that something had happened, but I didn't quite know what it was.

Luckily, James was not taken with him in the same way that I was and invited my angel to join us in the car. He was in the middle of introductions as I became aware of the conversation already in progress. "Sir James Potter, at your service," he bowed in his most theatrical manner, "and this good sir would be brave Peter Pettigrew, esquire... and this other chap is young Lord Sirius Black, of the illustrious house of Blacks....." I couldn't help but blush at his reference to my family. Why did he have to bring them up, after all? That wasn't how I wished to be known, not at all.

"Nice to meet you all," the angel murmured shyly, "My name is Remus. No sir or Lord or brave, but plain old Remus Lupin...." Oh be still my beating heart. The most beautiful name in all the world. And it belonged to that angel. Remus, quit laughing, I mean it, I'm being very sincere here, you're spoiling the moment.

At any rate....

That was how we met, Remus and I. All of us, actually, but for the moment I'm concentrating on Remus. I know, such a shock, no? Set the sarcasm aside, Sirius. And thus begins the tale of the four Marauders. Although, of course, we didn't call ourselves that. Not yet.

I've forgotten just how long that train ride is, London to Hogwarts, but my best guess, at least to the best of my recollection, is somewhere in the six to seven hour range. Long enough for our friendship to solidify, take on shape, colour and purpose. And long enough for me to begin my lifelong fascination with Remus John Lupin.

There was something about him that drew me to him, that kept me close to him, as if afraid to wander too far from the sound of his melodious voice. Being all of eleven, then, I didn't even have a word for it, nor a concept of what this attraction I felt was, but it was instinctual, and I never questioned it. Whereas James and I were best friends, boon companions, fellow pranksters, Remus and I were - soul mates. Yes, I've probably said that before, and undoubtedly shall say it again. But it's true. He is the yin to my yang (unless I'm the yin and he's the yang, I always get that confused). He and I were meant to be together, of that I have no doubt. I just never analysed my need for him, although more than a few have suggested he have his own head examined for having anything to do with me. Obviously he never questioned it either, for here we still are. Together. Forever.

The nearer we drew to the school, the more I began to fear for our newfound friendship, certain that once I was sorted into Slytherin I would lose them all for sure, they would undoubtedly shun my company ever after. That thought was more than unbearable, but what could I do? No matter how I wished to prolong the journey, it was inevitable that it would indeed end and before we knew it we had arrived at the station which was our point of debarkation. There we first years were met by an enormous man of gigantic proportions. He said that his name was Hagrid, he was the groundskeeper for the school, and he had the honour of escorting us across the lake to Hogwarts.

Dark had already fallen as we sorted ourselves into the small boats and my luck seemed to be holding - for now - as the four of us were able to get into the same vessel, which then sped on its mysterious way across the water to the castle which loomed up ahead. I had already explained the sorting process to my companions, and it was with trepidation, as well as a sense of wonder, that we entered Hogwarts for the first time.

On first view, I have to say it was somewhat intimidating, massive stone fortress that it was, candles set alight in every nook and cranny, as we were led by this hulk of a man into the Great Hall, where apparently the rest of the student body awaited us, already seated at their own tables, according to House, while the staff was situated at two tables at the head of the room. And in between us and them was a lone stool, upon which sat the dread Sorting Hat. Hagrid wished us all luck, turning us over to a rather severe woman with a thick Highland burr, who instructed us to follow her, assembling us into a group, explaining what was about to happen. I only half listened, being a smart ass/know it all, too busy glancing about, wondering which was the Slytherin table. My best guess was that it belonged to the group who seemed to glower at us, as we stood there uncertainly. (Although if I'd been thinking clearly, I could have simply searched for either of my two cousins.) Therefore I missed the singing of the Sorting Song (an event which, in later years, I was grateful for), and it was with a start that I heard Professor McGonagall (she of the tartan plaid) calling my name - apparently not for the first time.

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

"Mate, it's your turn," James dug his elbow into my side, even as he propelled me toward the stool and the hat. Much as my feet longed to dig in, to refuse to participate in this barbaric ritual, I obediently stepped forward, and found myself with the loathsome beast placed upon my head - apparently I was the first of our group to be sorted, as they were going in alphabetical order, and B comes naturally before either L or P - damn my luck.

Well, I told myself, this was it - hello Slytherin, goodbye friends. I was surprised to hear a raspy voice in my ear, but as I hadn't been paying attention previously, I had no idea if this were standard operating procedure or not. "So, Mr. Black,you don't want to be follow in your family's footsteps and go into Slytherin?" the voice questioned me. And without thinking twice about it, I shook my head firmly. "No, I don't," I heard myself say, and the next thing I knew the hat had proclaimed, "GRYFFINDOR!", and I was being cheered and welcomed into my new House, much to my amazement.

What the fuck had just happened? Whatever it was, it pleased me greatly, especially as Remus, then Peter, then James, were all sorted into Gryffindor as well, and we four hung on one another and cheered at the top of our lungs. But deep inside, I knew there would be trouble ahead, a price I would have to pay for this moment of intense bliss. Little did I really know.

Next came something far more interesting - the Welcoming Feast. But first, a few words from our sponsor. A tall white haired wizard of dignified mien took up a position between the staff tables, clapping his hands together for silence - which he received instantly. "Welcome to Hogwarts, one and all," he said, even as I heard Remus, who sat beside me, whisper almost reverently, "Professor Dumbledore." Ah, so this was our headmaster. I gave my friend a curious glance at his tone but turned my attention back almost immediately. "I think we are going to have another wonderful year at Hogwarts, and another exciting year of Quidditch." He clapped his hands and banners unrolled from the ceiling, decorated in green and silver with a serpent rampant upon them. There were quite a few boos and hisses from the Gryffindor table at the sight, but an older girl stood and glared, and these quickly fell silent. "Congratulations once again to Slytherin for their win of the House Cup last year, and good luck to everyone in the coming year." The banners now quickly changed back to the individual house pictures once more, and peace was restored, as Professor Dumbledore clapped his hands once more, crying aloud, "Now, let the feasting begin!"

Instantly, dishes of food of all sorts appeared on the table before us, a magnificent feast, both in quantity and quality. Roasts and chickens and bowls of mashed potatoes and gravy and fresh green beans, rolls and biscuits and pitchers of ice cold pumpkin juice. Everyone dug in with a glad cry and little was said while all appeased their suddenly ravenous appetites. The food was wonderful, appearing as if by magic, which I assumed was how it had been produced, and we ate and ate until we could cram no more into our stomachs. Then the older girl stood, telling us she would lead us to our dorm, and all the first year Gryffindors fell into line behind her - five boys and five girls - following her from the Great Hall. I noticed one of the girls, a redhead, lingered at first, talking to a sallow hooknosed fellow who appeared to be a Slytherin. James noticed them too, nudging me. "I don't like that bloke," he said, "looks like a right proper git to me, don't you think?"

I needed my agreement to this sentiment, even as Remus plucked at my sleeve. "Sirius, we'll get lost," he admonished me, and I made haste to follow behind him, even as James snickered, although his attention was still riveted on the girl, who now left the boy behind and caught up with us herself. She noticed James' stare, and gave him one in return, her bright green eyes seeming filled with a great distaste. He flushed and turned away, as the girl who led us coughed to gain our attention.

"You really need to listen, it's very easy to get lost," she admonished us, "try to remember which stairs lead where or you'll end up somewhere else entirely. They're quite tricky, and it isn't hard to do, once you get the hang of it." She showed us how to maneuver up the stairs to our new home in Gryffindor Tower, which involved some sleight of foot and remembering when to jump off onto the next sliding staircase, and soon we stood together in a group in the hallway, facing a rather large portrait of a rather hefty lady. The portrait simpered at the lot of us standing there. "Oh the little first years! How cute!"

"This is how we get into the Common Room," the girl (whose name I later discovered to be Rosamunde) informed us, "in order to get in, you give the Fat Lady the password, which changes every week. If you don't have it, you don't get in, and you wait for another member of the house to come by and let you in." She turned to the portrait. "Paradox," she said, and the portrait swung open to admit us. We then entered the Gryffindor Common Room for the first time. I didn't see very much of it that first night, mainly noticing that it was filled with an assortment of furniture and contained a very nice fireplace, for by then the train ride, the large meal, and the general excitement of the day were catching up with me, as I suspect was the case with my companions. One of the older boys showed us up the stairs to the first year dorm, each dorm holding five inhabitants. In our case, it was the four of us and another fellow, who turned out to be Frank Longbottom. Our beds were already assigned and we found our trunks waiting for us, each at the appropriate bed. My bed was next to Remus', a proximity which was both heaven and hell in later years, but I'm getting ahead of myself - again.

I noticed that Remus seemed a little uneasy, glancing about him at us, and at his bed, twisting his hands nervously. On an impulse, I sat down beside him on his bed, taking his hand in mine. "Everything's going to be alright," I reassured him, assuming he suffered from homesickness, something which I certainly did not.

He gave me such a sad sweet smile, it melted my heart. As if he wanted to believe me, but didn't dare. "Thanks, Sirius," he whispered, and squeezed my hand.

Somehow I made my way back to my own bed and undressed, turning in and falling asleep immediately, for the next thing I knew, Helios was peeping in at us, it was time to rise, and it was time to get ready for the first day of school.

My life at Hogwarts had begun!