Apprentice

DISCLAIMER: Not mine all JKR




Chapter 7

It had been a few months since they had decided that they would see where everything would go. And true to his word he was telling Hermione the things that helped to shape him. They had talked about his troubled childhood and how his parents just weren’t there for him as parents should be. They talked about his years as a student at Hogwarts and what had happened with James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin. Hermione was even beginning to understand why he had such a dislike of Harry. But they did do fun things. They went to see Remus every week, and the Weasley’s whenever they could. Their favorite spot on the grounds seemed to be leaning against the rocks, where Hermione had once punch Draco Malfoy. They would also go out to dinner, and she even convinced him to go to a Muggle movie. They spent most nights wrapped up in each others arms in Severus’s bed, but they had yet to make love.

Hermione settled between Severus’s legs leaning her head back on his shoulder. They talked about all the little things, their day, his house and classes, the potions that they each were working on and little things like that. But then Hermione asked what they each had been secretly dreading.

“What made you turn to Voldermort?”

Severus took a deep breathe, “He offered me power and success as well as knowledge. He told me that he could give what I needed to be the best Potion’s Master that the wizarding world had seen in many, many years. He also offered me the chance to be respected among people who had shown me no mind in my old life.”

She intertwined her fingers with his, “Did you get what you were looking for?”

“Well I thought that I had, but I soon learned that the only way to get any where with the Dark Mark was to be feared. And you can not be feared and respected at the same time. And while I had quickly worked my way into his inner circle I still was nothing more then a toy to him.”

“What made you go to Dumbledore and confide in him?”

“Because I was asked to do something that I couldn’t do,” he paused and neither of them said anything, “I was asked to rape and then murder some people who were completely innocent.”

“Who?”

“Some muggles, but I couldn’t do it; I didn’t see the point in it. It would have served no purpose other then to rape and murder, so I was put under the Cruciatus Curse off and on for a day. After that I knew that I had made a mistake.” He turned her so she was looking at him, “I want you to know that I did rape women and a few men, and I did murder people. But this was the first time that I was ordered to rape someone for no reason.” He was searching her face for any sign that she was scared or repulsed by him.

Hermione reached up and stroked his cheek, “Severus, I know that you would never hurt me, and that whatever you did or didn’t do is not who you are today.”

He was holding her face in his hands, “I am not good at this Hermione,” he started to cry, in spite of his efforts not to, “I am trying to be honest with you, but I am so scared that you will runaway screaming from me.”

“Have I runaway yet?”

“No, but I haven’t given you much of a reason to yet.”

“That’s just because you don’t see the way that you sulk when something is wrong, or been with you when you haven’t had coffee. You have given me plenty of reasons to runaway screaming, but I haven’t and I don’t plan to.”

“You haven’t asked about me murdering people?”

“I know that you have, and I while I cant imagine you doing it, I know that you did.’’

“You are too understanding.”

“I just know that you did what you thought that you had to do. You weren’t happy and you saw this as a way to be happy.” She took his arm and pulled back his sleeve she gently ran her fingers over the mark, “You admitted to yourself that you had made a mistake and then you took steps to redeem yourself. I can’t make you pay for things that you have already admitted to and paid for.”

“I can still hear them, screaming and begging.” He wasn’t looking at her anymore he was staring out past her into the fire.

She wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug. “I wanted to save them, but I couldn’t and I had to kill them, I had to, I had no choice, Hermione I am so sorry, please forgive me.” He was sobbing into her neck.

“Shh…Severus it is ok, you did what you had to do, and there was no way that you could have saved them. But you did save so many people after you came to the side of Light. It is ok love, I am here…shhhhh.” She was stroking his hair gently.

They sat there for a while and he cried while she held him. Hermione kept telling him that it was ok and that he was safe now.

“What if he comes back?”

“Severus, you saw for yourself that he is dead, and there is no way that he can come back.”

“What if someone else tries to make the raise to power?” he was wrapping himself tighter around her.

“Shhh…you don’t need to go to them if someone else does, and we will stop that person. We won’t let it get out of control like we did last time. We are all on the look for that person.”

They sat there holding each other both of them softly crying.

It was a few days later when they were walking around the lake and she started to shake and cry.

“What’s wrong?” Severus asked showing his concern, holding her tight.

“I am scared”

“Of what?”

“That you will leave me, that I won’t be enough for you. That the lure of the dark arts will be just too much for you and you will go back. I know that you said that you had desire for that and that you realized it is not who you are. But you used to tell us that once you have the taste then you desire it.” She was talking fast and was crying.

“You will be what keeps me grounded and keeps me away from the dark arts.” He took her face in his hands, “You have shown me what it is like to love and to be loved, I could never go back to that world where all you do is hate and spend most of your time being hated by people.”

They held each other as she cried this time and it was him who offered words of comfort. When she had calmed down they noticed just how dark and cold it had gotten, “What do you say we go back to the castle and have a small dinner in our rooms?” Severus asked her.

“Sounds good to me” they turned and quietly walked back to the castle, her arms was linked through the crook of his arm. She started to remove her arm from his as they became closer to the castle, but he stopped her.

“I think that it is time that everyone knows that we are more then friends.” And with that they walked arm in arm back to the castle. No one said anything and no one really gave them any odd looks. “I think that they have known all along, my love.” Severus whispered.

“I think that you are right my love.” She whispered back.

They went about their lives in the dungeons and no one had said anything that would have discouraged them. Everyone seemed to be happy about it. But they both had a fear that it was all coming to an end, in two months it was to be Hermione’s class reunion.

“If you don’t want to show all your friends that I am the one that you love then it is ok, I will back off.”

“Oh Severus, I want everyone to know, I was afraid that you wouldn’t want everyone to know, what with me being a mudblood and all.” Hermione slumped down on the couch.

Severus came to kneel in front of her and took her hands in his, “Hermione, my love, I love you more then I can put into words. I don’t want to hear you refer to yourself that way again. You are a beautiful person and I don’t care who your parents are.”

“But it must be embarrassing to you to be seen with me.” She was crying now.

“Never could you be an embarrassment. Hermione I want to ask you something.”

“Ok” she wiped her eyes and looked down at him.

“Hermione Granger will you do the great honor of marrying me?”

She was looking down at him and a fresh set of tears started to flow, she got down on the floor next to him, “Yes” she kissed him deeply, “Yes I will marry you.”

Severus took Hermione in his arms and hugged her tight. “Wait, my love, I forgot something.” He got up and went to his room and came back with a small box. He got back on the floor with her and opened the box for her.

“Oh Severus it is so beautiful.” She held out her left hand for him as he took the ring out of the box and slid it on her finger. Hermione sat back on her heels and looked at the ring on her finger. It was white gold with a large diamond in the middle and on either side there were two stones one red and one green.


A/N: Sorry it took so long.