Darkness Shadows Light

CHAPTER SEVEN - THERAPY IS EXPENSIVE, POPPING BUBBLE WRAP IS CHEAP

Snape was sitting down in his favourite chair, frowning over one of the books he had taken from the library this morning, with a roaring fire warming the usually cold room, when the portrait door flew open and a disembodied voice started ranting at him.

\'You will not believe what Madam Pomfrey said! She said I had to give up Quidditch! How the hell am I going to get out of playing when I\'m the captain without telling everyone the real reason? Ron and I have been trying to think up a good excuse all afternoon, but we haven\'t come up with anything remotely believable!\'

\'If you\'ve quite finished,\' said Snape calmly though with a slight edge to his voice. \'Would you please shut the door and remove that damn invisibility cloak. I do not appreciate talking to thin air.\'

The door slammed shut, slightly harder than was necessary, and then a head, followed quickly by the rest, became visible.

\'Did you listen to anything I just said?\' Harry grumbled, throwing himself down in a chair. \'I have to give up Quidditch! You know how much that means to me.\'

\'Surely not more than your life and that of your child?\' Snaped, td, the edge still in his voice.

\'Our child,\' corrected Harry, frowning at his lover and wondering whether that was slip or whether he was deliberately ng tng to distance himself from the situation. \'And of course it means more than Quidditch, but surely if I\'m careful I\'ll be alright.\'

\'Just how many times have you been knocked unconscious, broken bones or had your broomstick hexed, Mr Potter?\' asked Snape. \'Quidditch is a dangerous sport at the best of times, but with your connection to Voort ort and your continuing discord with Draco Malfoy, I would say you would be signing your own death warrant if you continued to play. I have to say I concur completely with Poppy on this.\'

\'Don\'t call me Mr Potter when we\'re alone,\' Harry said irritably. \'You know how much I hate that.\' Then Harry slumped back in his chair and sighed. \'You\'re right of course though, I know, but I\'m really going to miss playing. Flying is one of the only times I feel really free.\'

\'No one said you had to give up flying.\'

\'I suppose so, but it\'s not exactly the same, I\'ll miss the excitement...and getting one over on Malfoy.\'

\'Well at least it might give Slytherin the chance to win the Quidditch cup this year,\' said Snape with not a little satisfaction in his voice.

\'Gee, thanks for cheering me up!\' said Harry mournfully. \'No one in Gryffindor will *ever* forgive me if we lose this year because of me.\'

Snape snorted, \'I seem to remember there are six other people on the team besides you, are you vain enough to believe that they can\'t win without you? If that\'s the case, thou mou must think very little of the team you put together.\'
\'God, I hate it when you make sense,\' Harry grumbled. He had hoped for a little sympathy, but he should have known better than to think he would get that from Snape. Especially when the outcome might benefit his house, no matter what he said about Harry being part of a team, he *knew* he was a good Seeker and would be hard to replace.

\'Anyway, I take it this means you went to see Madam Pomfrey today?\'

\'Yep, now I know it\'s morning sickness I thought it would be pointless to suffer unnecessarily. Pomfrey said you made the potion.\'

\'Yes, sadly not the first time I\'ve been called on to do that, but definitely not in these circumstances before,\' Snape smirked slightly at the memory. \'It was quite amusing how cloak and dagger Poppy was about it all, if I hadn\'t already known, I would have been very suspicious about the recipient.\'

\'Oh great!\' said Harry. \'I thought she at least would be able to keep a secret, but if she\'s that obvious...\' he trailed off in despair.

\'Harry, this will have to come out sooner or later, you know that. In a maximum of about three months, it will be quite obvious.\' He looked at Harry with a hint of concern on his face. \'Are you that worried about everyone knowing?\'

\'Yes! No one but Ron and Hermione even know I\'m gay, this is definitely not the way I wanted to come out of the closet.\'

\'Your sexual preference is nothing to be ashamed of,\' said Snape.

\'I don\'t see you telling anyone yours,\' replied Harry sharply.

\'That\'s because it\'s none of their business,\' he said sourly. \'It\'s not my fault that you\'re The Boy Who Lived and everyone wants to know everything about you.\'

\'It\'s not my fault either, I never asked for any of this.\'

\'I know,\' he said softly. A few months ago he would never have believed Harry when he said he didn\'t want to be famous, but so much had changed since then. He knew Harry intimately in mind as well as body. Snape almost envied Harry the way he could be so open with his thoughts and feelings in a way he could r brr bring himself to do so.

\'So what else did Poppy say?\' Snape asked.

\'No drinking potions, no being transfigured, not a lot else really...Oh,\'ry sry smiled in an almost wistful way. \'Madam Pomfrey did this really cool spell so I could see the baby, it was pretty amazing. Ron was totally awed.\'

\'What exactly was Mr Weasley doing there?\' asked Snape sharply.

\'Ron offered to come with me, it was quite sweet of him really. He thought he might as well get in some practice at pretending he\'s the father.\'

\'He agreed then?\'

\'What? Oh sorry, I forgot I hadn\'t told you. Yes, Ron agreed as long as we kept it quiet as long as possible. He wanted me to tell Hermione the truth as well, but I managed to talk him out of that.\'

\'Just marvellous,\' sighed Snape. \'My child is going to be brought up as a Weasley!\'

\'Surely it won\'t go on that long?\' Harry asked in alarm. \'I thought we\'d only have to pretend until it\'s born.\'

\'And what exactly did you think would happen then?\' asked Snape acidly. \'Did you think you\'d be any less vulnerable with a small baby to look after? Or that I\'ll be any less necessary as a spy for our cause? Or did you expect that Voldemort would be defeated by then?\'

\'I don\'t know, I hadn\'t really thought that far, it\'s all happening so quickly. It was only yesterday I found out I was pregnant.\'

Snape decided to cut Harry a little k, ak, after all it was a lot to take in. And he had more that he had to tell Harry.

\'I know what you mean, it is difficult for it all to sink in.\'

Harry looked relieved. Snape gestured to the book on his lap.

\'I have been looking into your condition and the other wizards that it has happened to.\' He paused, \'I\'m afraid it\'s not very good news.\'

\'Yeah, Pomfrey told me that out of the four, two of them died before the babies were born.\' Harry replied.

\'Did she tell you what happened to the two children that survived?\'

\'Only that they were powerful. Actually,\' said Harry thoughtfully. \'Pomfrey was a bit cagey about it.

\'I\'m not surprised,\' said Snape dryly. \'Tell me, have you ever heard of Grindelwald?\'

\'Yof cof course, he was that really powerful dark wizard that Dumbledore killed in 1945.\'

Snape looked surprised. \'So Binns did manage to teach you something then,\' he commented.

\'No, it\'s on Dumbledore\'s chocolate frog card.\'

Snape snorted, \'Typical!\'

\'Anyway what about Grindelwald?\' asked Harry impatiently.

\'He was born 150 years ago to two wizards.\' He sat and watched Harry as this sunk in.

\'So, he was evil, what has that got to do with anything?\'

\'The first child born of two wizards was a witch named Morgana over 800 years ago. She was evil personified and in her time came very close to conquering the wizarding world.\'

\'Yes, I\'ve heard of her too,\' said Harry slowly. \'So are you trying to say this child I\'m having could be worse than Voldemort?\'

\'I\'m saying that this child will be *extremely* powerful, powerful enough to destroy Voldemort and powerful enough to take up where he leaves off if it so chooses. I\'m not saying he or she will, but there does seem to be a tendency for darkness.\'

\'I see,\' said Harry, his hand involuntarily went to his stomach as he contemplated what his lover had just told him. \'But just because the two that survived were dark doesn\'t mean that this one will. You can\'t say there\'s a pattern from just two!\'

\'No,\' admitted Snape. \'But with great power there is often great temptation to believe that their way is the right way. A lot of dark wizards simply believe they are doing what is best for the world.\'

\'Dumbledore isn\'t like that,\' said Harry obstinately. And he\'s the most powerful wizard I know, even Voldemort\'s scared of him.\'

\'Albus is very special.\'

\'So there\'s a chance that this baby will be a Dumbledore rather than a Voldemort.\'

\'It is possible,\' Snape said, though personally he doubted it. The urge for power was something he understood all too well and after all, this baby was half his.

Suddenly Harry had another thought.

\'If this baby could eventually destroy Voldemort, then he\'s not going to be too happy when he finds out. I imagine this is the sort of thing he\'d know.\'

\'Yes, I have had that thought too, therefore it\'s important that this is kept quiet as long as possible. Once Voldemort finds out, he will be out to find you and kill you. Suddenly you are even a bigger threat than before.\'

\'Great,\' said Harry sarcastically. \'As if he hasn\'t been trying hard enough for the last six years.\' Harry found this was all too much on to take in and it was making his head hurt. For the first time since Christmas all Harry wanted was to go to bed...alone.

\'I think I\'d better go,\' said Harry, faking a yawn and rising from his chair. He just barely caught a glimpse of the look of surprise on Snape\'s face. Until now, Harry had never voluntarily left his chambers until Snape had practically thrown him out, and certainly not before he had got him into bed.

After Harry had gone, Snape could not help but think that tonight had caused a breach between them which was mainly his fault. Instead of comforting Harry and offering words of support, he had abruptly told him some vunsaunsavoury facts. What disturbed him most was how much he *caredEverEvery time he had tried to push Harry away, he had secretly known Harry wouldn\'t let him. But now it appeared to Snape that whatever they had was weakening. He tried to tell himself that this was a good thing and it was for the best, but he hadn\'t expected it to hurt so much.*Is *Is this what love is?* he mused, before shaking his head as if to shake the thought right out. Standing up, he pointed his wand at the fire and put it out.

*Ungrateful brat didn\'t even notice I lit the fire for him* Snape thought discontentedly. It had been a small gesture, but the had hoped Harry would appreciate it.

Snape headed off to his cold and lonely bed with the feeling that somewhere along the line he had really made a mess of things.