In Love and War

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter works. All characters and settings are property of JKR and WB. I make no money or profit from the writting of this fanfiction.

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I wanted to answer some reviews now. I'm usually so busy and am just concerned about getting a chapter up for you that I forget to answer the reviews. So, here are my thanks to everyone who has read the story, either on here or on ff.

Citten: Thank you so much for being the very first reviewer and for leaving such a positive review! I really appreciated it!!!

Margaritama: OMG!!! I can't believe that you are reading my story! Your stories are some of my favorites. I wait constantly for you to update and I eat up every single word that you write like it's my last piece of chocolate!! I didn't mean for Kingsley to be so harsh with Hermione, but in my mind he needed to be even to just solidify his position on fairness in government.Oh, and about the beta thing... I am looking for a prospective beta. It just feels odd to post without one. Hopefully the experience won't be bad. Again, thank you for all your reviews!!!! You seriously rock!

VoraciousReader: Thank you so much for your compliments. I hope I don't disappoint you, and if I do, you better tell me so that I can fix it!!

Catysmom: I'm glad you like the story. Isn't Lucius just a dream?

CoCoM: Thanks for reading and reviewing!! Don't worry, I will continue with the story.

curikitten: Don't worry, I don't think this story will be cliche. I don't think that Lucius and Hermione are just going to fall in love. I'm pretty sure that they are going to have a long battle to get there. They both have many things that need to be worked through to get to that point.Oh, and about her coma dream. That was born from my deep love of the movie Labrynth. For some reason I had to write it. :) So, thank you for encouraging me on my work and I hope you continue to read!!

annmarie: Thank you for the compliments!

Diamond-Helen,jacquie, drlincu: Thank you for reading and I'm glad you are enjoying the story. I hope you will continue to read and enjoy!

Lady Disdain: I love the rebels, the bad boys. If I would have been written in the Harry Potter series, you would have seen me in the Death Eater roles. I have a dark sense of humour so they fit me very well. While I don't condone the things they did, I'm sure that there was more to it and that part of the DE's would have been more fun.

Obezyanka: I'm sorry that the story isn't erotic enough for you. I don't believe in just throwing them in the sack. I prefer a story with some good backing to it. I promise that there will be plenty of lemony goodness, but right now that isn't the time. Lucius and Hermione have too many obstacles to jump before they jump each other. Please be patient and don't let the fact that there is no steamy sex as of yet get in your way of reading. :)

So, onto the story. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter, oh and Lucius flavored chocolate to everyone who reads and reviews!!!

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Chapter 6

Hermione woke up to excited screams coming from her kitchen. She looked over at her alarm clock and groaned when she saw the time. Every weekend she told herself that her husband would get up with their daughter, that he would take care of breakfast and let her sleep. For eleven years she convinced herself that it would happen this weekend but every weekend she was disappointed.

She tossed the covers off of her onto her husbands snoring form and grabbed her terry cloth robe from the back of the door.

She made her way down the stairs on unsteady legs, gripping the handrail for dear life as she narrowly missed a toy that had been left of the stairs.

“Rose Weasley!” She yelled, watching her daughter with an evil stare. “What did I tell you about leaving your toys out on the stairs?”

Hermione watched her daughters face turn up in an expression of exaggerated remorse. “You wouldn't believe what I went through last night. I promise there is a reason why I left the toy out, a good reason.”

Hermione walked over to the stove and rolled her eyes at her daughter's excuse. Rose always had an excuse. Just like her father, she never took responsibility for her actions. She didn't blame her daughter, she blamed her husband.

“You see, last night when I was reading the book you gave me I accidentally had a slip in my magic.” Rose's face turned a bright pink as she weaved the web of her lie. “I was concentrating so hard, you would have been proud of me Mum. All of a sudden, when I got to the end of a page all of my toys were flying in the air around me. It was all very scary and I picked some of them up, but I obviously missed one.”

The sheepish look on her daughter's face almost fooled her, until she saw the look in her eye. She fixed Rose with a sideways glance and set a plate of eggs before her.

“Is that what happened Rose? Are you sure you're telling the truth?”

Hermione knew through experience that talking about the incident usually brought the actual events to light.

“I see how that could happen. Seeing your magic manifest itself must have been traumatizing for you. Why didn't you come to us after it happened? As much as it scared you, it's something to be proud of Rose.”

She could almost see the click in her daughter's mind. There was nothing like a guilty conscience, she was the master of it.

“I'm sorry I left toys out on the stairs. I know that it's dangerous and I'm sorry Mum.” Rose said with her eyes cast down towards the floor.

Hermione moved to sit in the chair next to her daughter and tilted her chin to look up at her. Her daughter had inherited her chocolate hair, but thankfully not the curly mess that hers was. She had a faint sprinkling of freckles across her slim nose, courtesy of her father and a sweet pink little mouth. Rose was tall like her father, but showed the promise of her mother's curves. She was a beautiful child, inside and out.

“What do you say to a day with me in Diagon Alley? We can pick up the last of your supplies for school, maybe pop in to see Uncle George. What do you think?” Hermione watched as her daughter's sullen eyes looked up with such brightness. She didn't have it in her to punish the girl. Her only child would be leaving tomorrow for Hogwarts and she didn't want the memory to be tarnished with an argument.

“When can we go? I can be ready in ten minutes.” Rose spoke in a rush, practically jumping out of her chair.

Hermione smiled at her child's enthusiasm. She used to be the same way when her parents were alive and they made the yearly trip to the wizarding street to stock up on supplies. She was thrilled to be able to share the experience with her own child. Her pink lips turned up at the corner as she thought of the icing on the cake.

“Uncle Harry will be there with James getting his supplies too.” Hermione said with a touch of nonchalance. She knew that her daughter loved spending time with the oldest Potter child more than anyone else. She wasn't surprised. The children had pretty much grown up together. They potty trained at the same time, said their first words at almost the exact moment, and she was pretty sure they had shared several practical jokes on the family.

“Really?” Rose squealed in delight. A deep pink blush spreading across her cheeks as she realized what she had said. “I mean, that would be so neat Mum. You know, to see them there.”

Hermione laughed as her daughter rushed out of the room. She could hear Rose's stomps on the stairs as she made it into her bedroom and started throwing her clothes around the room. She ran her finger around the rim of her coffee cup and reflected on her life, putting off the moment for when she would have to go upstairs to her bedroom and face her husband.

She was a lucky woman by conventional standards. After the war she went back to school and got her NEWTS. She immediately went to work for Gringotts as a financial lawyer. Three months after that she got married. She hadn't wanted to, but her conscience weighed too heavily on her and too many people were hurt by her actions. It was the only way to save the relationships she had formed. A month after marriage she got pregnant with Rose and left her dreams, her job and aspirations behind.

“Were you planning on making me breakfast this morning?” Came her husband's annoyed voice from the doorway.

“Sorry.” She stated quietly and fixed him a plate of eggs and bacon. “I didn't want to disturb your beauty sleep.”

Obviously not listening to her, he sat down and inhaled the food. She held back the vomit that collected in her throat as she watched him eat. It was like a feeding for animals. She had hoped with time that he would learn proper table manners, but it never happened.

Hermione looked over her husband and tried to bite down on the hatred and disgust she felt towards him. She would have liked to have blamed him for her life, but the reality was that no matter how much she hated him, her circumstances were her own fault.

After spending a night in the molded wizarding prison she had been released to face the backlash of her actions. She was never acclaimed a hero, never praised for her actions in the war. One moment with Lucius Malfoy and a confession told during his trial had sealed her fate. She was considered a traitor to the members of the order, a liar towards her family and friends, and in the eyes of the public a weak Mudblood with no sense of honor or loyalty. She accepted it because she had thought it was worth it, she told herself every day that what she had done was right and had saved many lives that otherwise would have been lost. Apparently society hadn't felt the same way.

Harry didn't speak to her for weeks after hearing the details of what she went through. She was never sure if it was her betrayal or if he just needed time to process everything that had happened during the war. One thing was certain though, he never looked at her the same way again, their friendship was never the same either. They got along, but that unwavering trust that had always existed between them was gone.

The Weasley's were much the same way. Even though she saw Ginny fairly frequently, the red headed spitfire never spoke to her, never even so much as glanced in her direction. Bill and Charlie understood and made an effort to include her in the family. They knew what she had gone through and they knew the sacrifices she had made. George was simply George. Nothing phased him, plus, at the time he was too consumed with grief for his lost twin to care what she did. He didn't blame her and still acted much the same as he always had towards her. Arthur Weasley, for all of his tolerance wouldn't forgive her. The bad blood between him and the eldest Malfoy would always exist and it now carried over to her. Molly had been the worst. She screamed and ranted at Hermione for ages about how she betrayed the family, how she betrayed Ron. After a time, she couldn't handle the guilt anymore. She knew that Ron still loved her, despite his hatred for her. She married him when he asked only to try and bridge the gap that now existed in the Weasley family. She married him to make up for everything she had done.

Hermione thought back and felt the horrible lump that was in her throat. The guilt had been her constant friend all of these years. Her hand subconsciously went to her wrist to touch the small snake that was always moving on her skin. The mark that destroyed her life was oddly the only thing, besides her daughter, that brought her comfort.

“Thinking of Lucy again?” Ron asked with disdain. He still hated her for what she had done. She questioned herself everyday on his reasons for asking her to marry him. She didn't know why she even had to wonder. Ron knew that her guilt would turn her into the perfect wife. She would never talk back, she would always keep a clean home, be a mother above reproach, and always have a hot meal waiting on the table. He knew this and she allowed it to happen. “I don't know why you still care about what happened to him. He deserved everything he got. He should have been killed.”

She choked back the tears that she felt burning behind her eyelids and smiled. “I don't even realize I do it Ron. I apologize. If I could get it removed, I would.”

She had seen a specialist to see if anything could be done about the mark, but she had been disappointed. Nothing could be done to break the binding and nothing worked to erase the stain on her skin. At first she had been angry that the reminder couldn't be gone from her body, but after time the mark reassured her. There was no happiness emitting from the mark, but she knew that Lucius would feel her calm encouragement through his own mark, even in Azkaban.

She had tried to get the Wizengamot to lighten his sentence, but he was to remain in Azkaban to pay for his crimes. He had served a ten year sentence in the dank prison. She had hoped to hear some news about him, but it had never happened. She knew that he had been released last year and she had heard some rumors that he was also doing community service. She hated the thought of him being ridiculed and slandered. She couldn't help it, Lucius Malfoy had saved her life and she would have done anything in her power to save his.

“Well, as long as you realize what you did. You deserve to have the mark of that bastard on you.” Ron said coldly. She knew that he got some perverse pleasure out of taunting her. She knew that she deserved his scorn, but it still hurt.

“I'm taking Rose to Diagon Alley today. Harry will be taking James as well since Ginny isn't up to it. Would you care to join us?” She asked, all the while hoping he would decline. He tended to embarrass her when they were out in public together. Reporters still followed him and he loved the attention that it gave him. At least if it was mainly just her and Rose it would be an easy day.

Ron's eyes narrowed in on her and a blush rose on his cheeks. She knew he was having an affair with Lavender Brown, but didn't care. They hadn't been intimate together since Rose had been born so it didn't matter to her. If he was with Lavender, it was less time to be with her.

“No, I umm have to go out of town tonight.” He lied as his ears turned a shocking shade of red.

She tried to make herself look disappointed, but decided that it didn't really matter and he didn't care if she made the effort. “Rose leaves for school tomorrow morning. Can you make it to the train station to see her off?”

If nothing else, Ron was a good father. He made sure that his daughter had everything she needed. His career as a quidditch agent paid well and allowed him to continue on with a certain amount of fame. He rarely missed a dance recital or birthday. He showed his daughter unconditional love, but none to his wife. Hermione didn't care what he did, as long as it didn't hurt Rose.

“Gods Hermione. Do you really think I would miss it? Why do you always have to be all over me?” With those words said he stormed out of the room and out the front door minutes later with a small suitcase slung over his shoulder. The door sounded with a slam as he left.

“Tell Lavender I said hello!” She said to the empty room and laughed at her own comment. It felt good to say it out loud even if no one could hear her.

Twenty minutes later Hermione and her daughter stood in the loud bustling street of Diagon Alley. She pulled the list out of her purse and went over the last minute things her daughter would need. The only items left were her daughter's familiar and a few books. She knew that she would also need to go by Gringotts to withdraw money for Rose to have through to Christmas. She decided that a trip to the bank would be their first stop.

Hermione walked into the wizarding bank and felt a strong sense of longing. She had loved her job and hated giving it up. She adored the gleaming marble floors and cream colored walls. She missed the thrill that came with the research and legal ins and outs of her job. She missed her good sized office and small staff. Mostly she missed the eagerness and the fulfillment she had found there.

She made her way to Bill's office and reminded Rose to be on her best behavior. She smiled and said hello to those that she remembered from work and ignored the looks of hostility that were still directed her way by others. Bill's secretary admitted her immediately.

“Hermione, my favorite sister in law, how are you this fine day?” He greeted her warmly and embraced his niece.

“We are well. I'm sorry for not making an appointment, but I didn't think I would need one. Ron left town today and I have to pick up a few things for Rose. Would you mind?” She hated even having to ask, having to say the request out loud. Her name wasn't on the bank account so she was never able to withdraw money on her own. She sucked up her pride every time and had to ask Bill to get it for her.

“Rose honey, I think my secretary has a bag of treats in her desk. Why don't you see if she will give you one.” Bill smiled for his niece, but his face became serious as the door closed behind her. “I tried to talk to him about it Hermione. I told him how inconvenient it was for you, but he wouldn't listen to me.”

Hermione laughed and shook her head, a small smile graced her lips as she spoke. “You didn't expect it to change, did you Bill? It's his money, I don't work for it.”

“You may not have a job, but you still work. You gave up everything for him. For Merlin's sake Hermione, if you wouldn't have left your job, you would be making triple what he makes right now.” He said, annoyance written all over his features.

“It doesn't matter, really.” At one point it bothered her, but no longer. She accepted it as part of her life and as part of her penance.

“It does matter. What's done is done. How long will you continue to torture yourself for something that you did right? How long will it take before you are broken completely?” He started in on his normal tirade about her relationship with his brother. He would usually only make a rude comment or two, but today he was getting in too deep. She didn't want to be reminded of it today. She just wanted to have a relaxing day with her daughter.

She held her hand up, not wanting it to go any further. “Bill.”

“Right. So, how much would you like for me to take out? I can have my secretary check the balance for you.” He conceded the argument, not wanting to hurt her or remind her of her lack of control in her marriage.

“I don't know how much I will need. I have to pick up a few books for Rose, an animal to take with her, and she will need money for school.” Hermione looked over her outfit and wanted to replace her wardrobe, but knew that she would never hear the end of it from Ron.

She waited ten minutes and then Bill came back into the room with a pouch full of money. “This should be more than enough for everything Rose will need.”

She kissed her brother in law on the cheek and made her way out of the room, pausing when she opened the door. “Thanks Bill. For everything.”

“Hey, Hermione. Just so you know, the account had a discrepancy a few months ago, but it's been rectified and the extra money was deposited. I doubt it will show up on your statement, so why don't you have a fun shopping trip.”

Hermione really went all out for Rose. Instead of a cat or toad, she bought her daughter the sweetest owl in the shop. When it came down to buy the books, she bought the required as well as a few that Rose expressed a desire to read. With that done she sent the packages to the house and made her way to George's shop, where they were to meet Harry.

She was having a nice chat with George on potions when he walked in. She watched Rose and James hug then sneak off into the back corner of the store, probably trying to figure out what they could steal from their Uncle's shop without being noticed.

“I hate to do this Hermione, but James wants to go to a Quidditch match tonight. So, we won't be able to shop with you today. I hope you don't mind.” Harry said before even telling her hello.

“That's fine. Don't worry about it.” She didn't want to feel hurt, but she did. No matter how much time had passed, she still missed Harry's easy going manner with her. She missed the friendship that they had once had.

He must have felt sorry for her because she caught the look that George gave his brother in law. “Maybe you would like to join us?”

She appreciated the attempt, but knew it wasn't sincere. “Thanks for the offer Harry, but you know about me and sports. They just aren't my thing. If you would like and if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I'm sure Rose would love to go.”

“I think I can handle her Hermione.” He said with a sneer.

She hadn't meant to imply anything bad by it, but that's just how it was these days.

“Rose, honey.” She called her daughter over. “Would you like to go to a match with Uncle Harry and James tonight?”

Rose nodded her head so hard in the affirmative that Hermione was sure it was going to snap. She turned to Harry. “Try not to make it too late, the kids need their sleep for tomorrow.”

Hermione watched her daughter run out the door, following the others and felt at a loss. She said her goodbyes to George and made her way out of the shop.

She perked herself right up as she entered the womens clothing store. She bought a new pair of shoes, a bag that she would have to lie and say that Fleur gave her as a gift, and a new set of robes. They weren't the designer things that she had once enjoyed, but they were new and gave her pleasure none the less.

To pamper herself a little more she even ventured into a salon and had the works done on her hair. The Hermione that walked in the door didn't look the same as the one who came out. She smiled in a mirrored window that she passed. She had cut of several inches of her hair, had some red and blond highlights thrown in to diffuse some of the brown, and most shockingly, her hair was straight as a board. She didn't know what urged her to change her hair, but she was glad she did. She had only a little bit of money left, but the new look was worth it.

She ordered a small salad and a water at an outdoor cafe and contemplated what she should do for the next several hours before Rose got home. She pulled out a book that she had brought from home and started to read, enjoying the calm atmosphere of the cafe. She read for hours and almost finished the entire thing.

A shadow passed over the table and a warm hand made contact with her shoulder as she made her way to leave. A scent that she always smelled drifted into her nose. She closed her eyes and willed it to overpower her, to take her away from the loneliness that she now faced. She heard a chair scrape on the pavement and opened her eyes. The sight before her brought a genuine smile to her lips. A smile that she had forgotten from it's lack of use. His smell of linen, cotton and spice enveloped her.

“Miss Granger.” He said as he sat in the chair next to her.

“Lucius.” His name escaped her lips as she felt happiness for the first time come through the small tattoo that danced her skin.