The Lambs

Hey, I know it has been a while hasn’t it?
My friends were visiting from another country and it wouldn’t be very nice of me to disappear every few days to update while there were here, would it?

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Words: 5,101
Chapter 6
Finding Safety
August 6th 1998. That Night.

His mind was reeling. There were moments when all of the information he had been told came to the forefront of his mind and he was able to understand it, just for a moment. But once understanding dawned, shock pushed its way into his head and then he wasn’t able to think at all. There were also times when he didn’t try and think, or remember, because whenever he thought about what Draco said, a sudden overwhelming dizziness came over him and it was all Harry could do not to fall over. It was too much. Too strange and too new, and it was all over him, inside of him. Draco’s words crashed over him like a tidal wave, dragging him under and drowning him in the terrifying finality, the promise of what would happen.

He was turning into a Werewolf!

Of all things, a werewolf. An elf, or a Veela or maybe a Vampire, he could handle, but he hadn’t even known that werewolves existed and in two weeks he would become one. Completely, and wholly. He would no longer be human.

He would no longer be Harry.

“It won’t be as bad as that,” Bill Weasley said, as if he could read Harry’s thoughts. “It really isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to believe, you know.”

“Yeah?” Harry said snidely, “And I bet you’re next in line to get bitten, aren’t you.”

Bill gave a soft sigh, and turned his face away. In some ways Harry was so much like his father. He didn’t take ‘change’ very well, and he could be as stubborn as hell. But he was a strong, brave person, much like Queen Lily, and Bill knew he would survive this. If anyone could take such an accident and work it to their favour it would be the Prince. The redhead smiled to himself, ignoring the angry glance Harry threw him, and he wondered what it would be like if the Elementals and the Werewolves could somehow unite. It would be rather nice to have Charlie home again, and Draco would to have Harry as a friend again.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry said, unfolding his arms from where they had been across his chest. His face was open and curious, rather than the angry, bitter mask it had been moments ago.

“You’ll do great things, you know.” Bill said softly, looking Harry in the eyes. “You’ll be a King I’d happily die for.”

“I’m not going to be King. I’m a wolf now remember.” Harry’s lips curled back into a snarl, and Bill could see his eyeteeth had already lengthened into sharp-pointed fangs. He wasn’t wearing his glasses anymore either, and his brilliant green eyes had taken on an amber tinge. They looked more yellow then green now, but his glasses had usually hidden the colour.

“You’ll be a great King, someday, you’ll see.” Bill said. He mentally put an end to that topic of conversation. There was no point urging Harry to unite the two fractions at present. Harry still was not comfortable with the idea of Werewolves, let alone with being one. He smiled; let Harry see for himself how well the two sides could get on together. “Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?”

“They hurt my eyes.” Harry said softly. “And Draco broke them.”

“He never said what he told you.”

Harry looked up at him and scowled. “It’s none of your business.” The dark hair boy said after a short silence. “But he told me the truth.”

They had been walking through the forest outside of Hogwarts for an hour and a half. They were almost halfway to Hogsmeade, and Bill soon became more attentive to his surroundings. They further away from Hogwarts they got, the denser the forest became. They would come upon the wolves soon.

It was another ten minutes before someone walked out from between the trees. His red hair was like a beacon and Harry grimaced at the wide smile that crossed the werewolf’s face. “BILL!” Charlie cried and ran to his brother. They embraced while Harry watched with a sad, lonely feeling gnawing at his heart. He suddenly, overwhelmingly missed Draco, despite being mad at him when he left home.

“Harry this is Charlie.” Bill said, beaming. “Charlie, this is Prince Harry, of the Lambs.” Harry allowed one eyebrow to rise slightly before he snorted.

“I won’t be making many friends if I keep being introduced that way.” He drawled sarcastically, his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the outcast Weasley.

“That’s good.” Charlie said, missing the sarcasm, “it’s good you’re planning on making friends. You’ll need someone to confide in.”

“I have Draco.” Harry said shortly, turning away from the over exuberant elder man. “Tell Draco I love him and that I’m sorry for what I said.”

“I will.” Bill promised as he reached out to drag Harry into a quick hug. “I know we haven’t been close but I was afraid of growing to love you and having to lose you.” His eyes were on Charlie as he said this. “It was inevitable, you know. You heart belongs with your mate’s.” Harry gave another snort and rolled his eyes. In his opinion the only part of him that belonged with his mate was his fist. Preferably against his mate’s face. “Draco will always love you, you know that, don’t you?”

“You can write to him,” Charlie offered quietly. “Bill has an owl that comes to me sometimes. The Alpha understands my need to keep in touch with my brother. You can send letters to your friend when I write to Bill.” Harry looked over at Bill, who nodded in affirmative.

“Ok,” the brunette said quietly. “Let’s get this over with.”

Charlie gave Bill one more hug before laying his hand on Harry’s shoulder. Ther Prince thought the other man meant to comfort him, or offer solidarity, or something, but really all Charlie accomplished was making Harry feel as if something was pressing down on him, forcing him forward into this new life that he didn’t understand or want, and feared. Charlie’s hand was like a weight, crushing him until it was too hard to breathe. His chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath, and Charlie pulled his hand back as if stung. Harry’s magic flowed around him, protecting him from the two redheads who could be viewed as threats. When he was calm, Harry found himself on his hands and knees, face down as he coughed and sputtered and tried to remember how to breathe. Slowly, his face red, he got to his feet.

“Ok, now I’m ready.” Charlie reached out again. “Don’t touch me,” Harry ordered just before the other man’s hand made contact. Charlie dropped his arm to hand by his side and took the lead silently. Harry followed him.

The silence was devastating. There was no noise except the wind rushing through the trees and the birds and animals going about their lives. But no one spoke, and because Harry couldn’t hear people talking around him, he remembered them talking in his head. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to remember or think, but he couldn’t help himself. When he started to remember, he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

“I need to tell you something. And you might hate it and me and a whole load of other people, or you might like it and understand where we were coming from. Now,” Harry gave him an impatient look, “how much do you know about Werewolves?”

Harry blinked owlishly at him. “That they don’t exist?” He blinked again, eyes wide and innocent.

Draco rubbed his face wearily. “Harry, I need you to listen to me, and to trust me.”

“I trust you, Draco.” He said softly, a soft smile on his lips as he watched his best friend stressing himself out. “Don’t worry, just tell me.”

“We haven’t got much time Harry. You need to get out.”

“Out?” The brunette’s forehead creased in confusion. “From where?”

“From here. You have to get out of Hogwarts, tonight, Bill will take you tonight.” Harry opened his mouth but Draco raised a hand and Harry remained silent. “Please, don’t interrupt. We really haven’t got much time. If people find out Harry, certain people will try and kill you, and I can’t promise that your father won’t be among them. You know he hates werewolves.”

Harry gave a hysterical laugh. “Werewolves aren’t real, Draco. If they were someone would have told me.”

“We were ordered not to. You were never to know they existed until you turned twenty-one. Harry, at King James’ coronation ceremony when you were one, Elder Aberforth discovered something about you. You know about Mates don’t you?”

“For Veela, Elves and Vampires, yes.”

“And Werewolves,” Draco added quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You are the mate of Fenrir,” Harry’s eyes widened at the name of his lover, “Greyback, the Werewolf Alpha.”

“No, no, no!” Harry said jumping to his feet. “You think this is funny, Draco? Just because Mione wouldn’t shag you, doesn’t mean you can be such a prick!”

“This isn’t a joke Harry. You are mated to a Werewolf and on the next full moon, you will become one.”

“But, no, no, but I can’t be- I- I am not, I can’t be.” He stuttered, his eyes were wide and wild. They darted around the room frantically, as if searching for a way to escape. “This can’t be happening.”

“I told you to stay away from him, Harry.” Draco said softly. It probably wasn’t the best thing to say in the situation because Harry spun around to face the blond, his lips pulled back and his fang clearly visible. Draco flinched slightly.

“You told me? Is that like saying ‘you told me so’? So this is what I deserve for not listening to you?” Harry practically roared. Draco cringed slightly before he took a deep breath. Werewolves were volatile, they had bad tempers, but if you knew them well enough they were easily calmed.

“Of course not, I merely meant that I knew he was dangerous Harry. You don’t deserve any of this, of course you don’t, and I think you’re dealing with it very well.”

“You knew he was dangerous, but you decided to go get laid, and left me with him. Was your blowjob worth it Draco? Well, next time I won’t be at the Hogs Head with you so you’ll have all night to screw Granger’s brains out without worrying about me being turned into a FUCKING WEREWOLF!!” He spun around, feeling the desire to break something and he knew he’d never forgive himself if he hurt Draco. He punched the wall, feeling the satisfying crunch as the plaster shattered and red dust rained down from the bricks he cracked.

Draco let Harry stand there for a handful of minutes, staring at the hole in the wall in silence. “Are you calmer now?”

“Yeah,” Harry mumbled before adding another curse word. He turned to face the blond, his eyes wet and his lips trembled lightly.

“Good.” Draco said before pulling his arm back and punching Harry in the jaw. Draco was the one who cried out in pain, though Harry’s head did snap around to the left. He opened and closed his jaw for a minute, a little in shock then frowned at his friend. His glasses had been knocked off of his face. He bent to pick them up, but they were broken in half.

“You ok?” He asked, putting his broken glasses on the corner of his desk.

“I think you broke something.” Draco pulled one of Severus’ potions out of his pocket and downed it in one go. When the bottle was empty, he flexed his hand and gave a relieved sigh as he felt no pain.

“I broke? You punched me remember.”

“Yeah, well, you had that coming. Calm the fuck down and let me talk, ok.” Harry nodded slowly and sat back on the bed. His eyes hurt less now that he had taken off his glasses. “I love you, Harry, I would never wish this on you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He sniffled lightly and looked up at the blond. “You don’t think I’m pregnant do you? All the weird food and stuff.”

“No. The weird food and stuff is your body’s way of changing to accommodate this new part of you, the wolf part. They have higher metabolism, that’s why you’ve been eating more, and your temperature is higher and you have so much more energy to run around. You’re eating food rare because wolves are used to hunting in the wild and eating their food raw. Your eyes are blurry because the virus is trying to fix the vision, to make you a stronger predator. Bad vision could affect your position in a pack; as mate to an Alpha you sort of have to be all that you could be.”

“But I’m not pregnant?” His voice was quiet and shaky.

Men could become pregnant (not the human ones though) but the vampires, Veelas, elves, werewolves and elementals could. However, because werewolves were usually turned and not born they could not procreate with anyone unlike them. Veela and the others could have children with any other humanoid species but a werewolf had to mate with another werewolf. It was why they turned so many people.

Draco explained all of this, and Harry grimaced. “Is that like, I don’t know, bestiality? I had sex with someone who can’t procreate with a human, so they aren’t a human, so Fenrir must be an animal?”

“No, I don’t think,” Draco paused, and then frowned. “Maybe?”

“Bloody brilliant.” He sighed. “Draco, I-!”

“Don’t, Harry, just don’t please. I don’t think I could listen right now. And we haven’t got enough time.” Draco continued to explain as much as he knew. Charlie, Bill had promised, would tell Harry the rest. But even as Bill came to collect him, Draco wouldn’t let Harry tell him goodbye, nor would he listen to the words ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry’.

Harry had left Draco, Harry had left so much behind him unsaid and he was glad Bill was willing to say what he hadn’t been allowed to say.

They entered a clearing, and Charlie pulled Harry forward, dragging him from his memories. There were a few tents scattered around, along with many piles of animal skins and furs that Harry assumed were used as beds. There were so many werewolves. So many people who turned to face him, and it took all of Harry’s royal training to not cringe away from their stares. Instead he raised his head high, imagined there was a crown resting upon him, and looked each one in the eye as he glanced around the circular clearing. Then his eyes fell on the one person he really wanted to see.

“You!” He said, pointing a finger at Fenrir Greyback. The Alpha watched with a grin as his mate ran towards him. Fenrir held his arms out for his mate, smug and pleased to have been accepted so easily. “You son of a bitch!” Harry screamed as he drew his arm back and then his fist made contact with Fenrir’s nose. He was breathing heavily, satisfied to hear a crack: then he eyed the Alpha warily.

“I believe we should continue this in private.” Fenrir turned and prowled towards the largest tent in the area. “Come, pretty one.” Harry snarled at him. The sound was so foreign, so new that Harry jumped slightly and clamped a hand over his mouth in shock. “Come, Harry. Please.”

“We never harm our mates,” Charlie whispered, pushing the younger wolf forward. “Please Prince Harry, please trust me.”

Harry licked his lips and looked Charlie up and down. “It’s not you I have a problem with,” he hissed before turning and stalking into the tent as well. Fenrir heard his words, and flinched slightly.

”Would you like to hit me again?” The grey haired wolf asked snidely. “I should beat you for embarrassing me in front of the others.” Harry just gave him a baleful glare. His father gave him the same threat all of the time, but he had never carried it through. If Charlie were to be believed, Fenrir wouldn’t beat him either.

“How do I know you wouldn’t enjoy it?” Harry allowed one half of his mouth to curl upwards, and for a moment his pretty face was made rather ugly by the sneer. “You seem like the S & M type.” Fenrir gave a snort of laughter before sitting down, cross legged, on a pile of furs on the floor.

“Join me.”

“You told me you were safe.” Harry said softly. He mentally cursed as he felt the tears gathering in his eyes again.

“Excuse me?” Fenrir looked slightly horrified, his hand stretched towards his mate. “I’d never hurt you.”

“Not that kind of safe,” Harry drawled, gaining his composure again. “I asked if you had a condom. ‘I’m safe’, you said.”

“Well you aren’t pregnant,” Yet, Fenrir added mentally, “and I don’t have an STD, so I suppose I was pretty safe.” He leered at the brunette. Harry threw him a filthy look and turned away.

“Just because ‘Werewolf’ isn’t considered an STD, doesn’t mean I wanted to catch it. Shit! You told me you were safe, and now I’m a fucking werewolf? You couldn’t just wear a bloody condom, could you?” Fenrir opened his mouth then immediately snapped it shut again. “You wouldn’t have, would you. Even if I specifically said ‘use protection cause I don’t want to catch your wolf disease’, you wouldn’t have worn one, would you?”

“No.”

Harry gave a small laugh. “At least you’re honest, now.” He laughed again, but it sounded slightly hysterical. His next laugh sounded more like a wheeze, and soon enough, instead of laughing Harry was curled up on the floor, hugging his knees and trying to breath through his tears. “I hate you.” He whispered softly as Fenrir reached out to touch him. The wolf didn’t listen. He picked Harry up and carried him to the furs and laid him down again, tucking him in.

“Get some sleep. You have a long day ahead of you, pretty one.”

“I hate you.” Harry whispered as his tears stopped. “I hate you.” He said again as Fenrir lay down beside him. “I hate you, I HATE YOU!” He screamed. Fenrir didn’t react except to stare at his mate with pained eyes, and whimper softly. Denied the fight he was craving, Harry crawled from the makeshift bed and ran from the tent. Fenrir didn’t follow him.

The first person he found was Remus. The sandy haired wolf eyed his godson cautiously, his face wary. He walked towards the boy slowly, making sure his footsteps were loud enough before he sat down beside the small fire where Harry was sitting. The brunette looked up. “Remus Lupin.”

“You know me?” He sounded astonished. “Did James-?”

“Draco Malfoy told me about you, earlier today. He told me everything he knew.” Harry stared at the fire, mesmerized by the whirling colours, drawn like a moth to the heat.

“If you ever need to know something else you can ask me.” Remus offered softly.

Harry placed his hand in the fire, and bit his lip. “Why doesn’t it burn?”

“It burns.” Remus pulled Harry’s hand back. The skin was red and there was a small blister on the back of his hand, but there was no other damage. “We heal well and fast. Here, let me.” Remus used his nails to pop the blister and wiped Harry’s hand on a handkerchief he pulled from his pocket. “It’ll be gone soon enough. It burns, Harry. We just don’t feel the heat because our own body temperature is so high.”

“Oh.” He was examining the blister, which was now only a faint pink blotch on the back of his hand. “We do heal quick.”

“There are a few perks to being a werewolf.”

“Bill said as much.” Harry frowned. “Can w- Can you survive without a mate?” He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘we’, to group himself in with these animals, these things that shouldn’t exist. In his mind, he had grasped the concept of becoming a wolf, but out loud it was still hard to believe that he could be any different than he was. He couldn’t make himself say it; he just didn’t want to hear it.

“Yes, after the 21st birthday a submissive or a human mate will have matured too much magically for a bond to be put into place. But having a mate is one of the benefits to being one of us. It’s like,” he paused, “having someone to love you unconditionally, to give you a family, a home, companionship. Someone you can trust, love, confide in.”

Harry snorted. “I already have someone like that, and you all made me leave him behind.” He glared viciously in Fenrir’s tents direction. With a sigh he turned his gaze back to the fire. “I want to go home.”

“Soon, Harry, this will feel like home, I promise.” Remus squeezed Harry’s shoulder lightly. “Trust me.”

“Everyone keeps asking me to do that today.” He tried to make a joke out of it, but he couldn’t stop his voice from cracking, just a little bit.

XXX

August 19th 1998. Two weeks later.

For two weeks Harry had done his best to avoid everyone except Remus and Charlie. He was especially careful to stay away from Fenrir, but in his dreams where his consciousness had no say in the matter he spent every minute he could with the silver haired man. Fenrir haunted his dreams. His waking thoughts were filled with his hate and resentment for his creator, but he dreams were full of Fenrir. They came in different forms, different versions. Smiling, laughing, making love, calling his name in passion, and then Fenrir’s eyes haunted and sad as Harry screamed ‘I hate you’ over and over. The last one always had Harry jumping awake, stifling a scream before he turned to watch Fenrir sleep. He couldn’t understand why, but he felt incredibly guilty when he woke, but he could hardly ever remember what he dreamed about (unless it was a nice dream).

At present he was huddled against Remus outside in the clearing. They were all there, all of the werewolves whose names he didn’t know and didn’t care to ever learn. Why should he?

Bill said he could change the world, or at least he implied it and Remus often wondered out loud what it would be like. He had to admit it would be a nice idea. To have both of them trying to live in harmony. Then Harry could go home and see his parents, and Sirius and Draco. He wouldn’t have to be here anymore, with all of these strange strangers, sleeping on the floor every night and having his shoes taken away from him. Apparently, werewolves prefer to be barefooted and practically naked.

Well, he was naked now. He had finally agreed to undress when Charlie told him his clothes would be destroyed during the change, and that no one would get him any more. He shivered slightly and pressed closer to Remus. It wasn’t a shiver from the cold, his body was above boiling point after all, but he was afraid. Shouldn’t it hurt? No one had told him, not Draco because he didn’t know, and not Remus cause he was too afraid to ask. But he thought it probably would hurt.

He wasn’t really that big into pain to be honest.

“It is a gift,” Fenrir hissed as he pulled Harry away from Remus. He clutched his mate against him, ignoring Harry’s protests until the boy gave up and stopped struggling.

“When can I return it?” Fenrir glared down at him. “Or exchange it then? I’m sure I wouldn’t mind Charlie as a mate, at least he has manners.”

Fenrir snarled as his fingers gripped tighter around Harry’s arms. “You are mine!”

“In another life maybe,” he said with distain. It made Fenrir grin though.

“Yes, well, you’re about to start your new life Harry.” Remus nodded his head when Harry’s eyes searched him out. “It will be different after tonight. You’ll be one of us, a part of the collective. You’ll have different instincts and feelings and thoughts. You never know, you might feel differently about me tomorrow.”

The moon was beginning to rise. It was full and bright and its light bathed everything in sight. The silver of the moon bleached everything until there was only black and white left, dull and insignificant in comparison with the moon’s radiance. Harry blinked his eyes as he watched it rise. It seemed to be happened so slowly one moment, and then he would blink and the moon would have jumped a foot higher in a second.

In fact, what was happening was that when Harry looked away from the moon his body was beginning to transform. Due to the pull of the magic within him, he was actually looking away for far longer than he thought he was. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would. There were unpleasant tingles running up and down his arms and legs, like growing pains, and he felt a little dizzy again. But he felt free.

For the first time in a long time, he no longer felt like his own skin was confining him. He was free, to run wild and just be. The wolf in him howled, head thrown back in pleasure. When he opened his eyes they were pure amber and standing before him was a magnificent silver wolf, three times the size of a normal wolf.

Harry wondered, briefly, if it were possible to look as beautiful as Fenrir did just then. He couldn’t find it within himself to feel disgusted by that thought. Earlier than night he would never have thought ‘beautiful’ in the same sentence as ‘werewolf’ or ‘Fenrir’, never, but yet here he was, thinking it now. And it was true. Fenrir was magnificent to look upon. He was tall, and muscular, and his fur was shaggy and silver, thick and it looked so soft. His eyes were large and almond shaped, but they were also silver with just a ring of amber around the edges.

“It comes from age. The older you are, the more of your original eye colour you gain back.” The voice echoed around Harry’s head. It took him a moment to realize that it was Fenrir’s voice, inside of his head. When that dawned on him, a barrage of other people’s thoughts followed that thought.

Harry wished his had hands so that he could clamp them over his ears. As it was, his ears lay flat back against his head and he was snarling angrily. Terror was an emotion that swept over him frequently as well. Some of the thoughts he could hear were frightening, and most seemed to come from the black-furred female Beta. He didn’t remember her name, but she seemed to hate him an awful lot. She was practically screaming her thoughts at him, spitefully, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her.

“Calm down. You need to focus on me, and me alone. I will help you block them out. Forget all of them, hear only my voice and your voice.” Fenrir’s voice was smooth and warm, it wrapped around his mind and seemed to cover it entirely, allowing no other thought inside except their own. “I will be all you hear until you wish to hear another. You can pick and chose. Just think of them, and you can hear them when we are like this. Then, think of not hearing them, of pushing them away and they won’t be so loud. They will always be there, all of us will, with each other and inside of each other as a family, but you need not hear us unless you wish it.”

“It is like Occlumency?” Harry asked softly.

“Which is?” The voice replied. Still the only one Harry could hear.

“The art of lying and of keeping secrets. Everyone must know it, but me.” His voice became bitter and Fenrir let out a small whimper and gave his mate a nudge with his nose. Harry gave a whine in return, and couldn’t stop himself from rubbing up against his mate as well.

“They believed they were doing what was best for you. I do not agree with them, but I would go to the same lengths to protect our Cubs.” Fenrir nuzzled against Harry again, his breath hot on Harry’s furry neck.

Harry nipped at Fenrir’s nose. “Who said I was giving you any cubs? Getting a little ahead of yourself there.” He nipped the Alpha again, then with a howl he took of running, sprinting through the clearing and into the tree line as Fenrir gave chase. Remus and Charlie watched them go, curled up against the other and every once in a while a howl would drift back to the clearing, and the two friends of Harry would give a yelp that should have been laughter.

That morning, when the sun rose and everyone was human again, Harry didn’t jump awake and leave the tent as he had always done previous. Instead, he woke slowly, his muscles sore but there was no longer a feeling of needing to do something weighing him down, so he figured it was a pain he could deal with. He rolled onto his side. Fenrir was asleep beside him.

Last night he had been caught and Fenrir had carried him by the scruff of his neck the whole way back to their tent where he had proceeded to lay down on top of Harry until the younger wolf drifted to sleep. Sometime in the early morning, Fenrir had rolled aside, and now he lay on the edge of the furs fast asleep, but his hands still reached out towards his mate. With a smile, Harry didn’t something he never thought he would have.

He lay back down, and shuffled closer to Fenrir, allowing the sleeping wolf to pull him closer and hold him tightly. He drifted back to sleep, naked and cuddling the werewolf who had turned him, the Alpha and his mate. Fenrir.

XXX

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Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter. Much appreciated. When I say I want to reach a certain amount of reviews, I’m talking about FFNet only. Though reviews at the other sites would be nice as well.

I’ll do Soul Seeker soon enough, then Between Two Ages as well.