A ‘very little’ Happy Ending

Chapter 5 – December wonders


A/N: Well during I wrote this down, I listened to Enya’s “Elian”. I think it describes the feeling of this chapter quite good. Maybe if you are able to listen to it too while you read this chapter.
Mhm . . . when I think right of it, almost the whole story was/will be written while I listening/-ed to Enya . . . just wanted to mention it. ^_^ I planned this chapter a bit shorter and maybe sadder then others. Hope that I got this right.
Though I’m sorry I needed this long again but somehow I needed a writer’s break or something like that because first I didn’t want to write and then I did but couldn’t bring myself to do so. And, after 2 months, I listened to Enya again and I knew I could start writing now again.

Oh and by the way . . . every single chapter of this story is now betaed and every new upcoming chapter will be too. Lovely little beta, really. I’m always awed by her great talent . . . gets me on knees constantly. ^_^


Draco sat in a chair in the library and looked moodily out of the window and up into the dark grey sky. He knew that something was not right with him . . . since the beginning of December. He was moody, mostly sad more than anything else but his temper lay low in these days and he often caught himself snapping at people who had not done anything to him. And, it was disturbing him.

He did not know why he all of the sudden was like this and did not know how he could change it. He knew that his friends were worried about him; Harry more than anyone else because they had stopped talking as much and he knew that he hurt the raven-haired teen with it because he thought that Draco didn’t trust him anymore.

But the truth was far from it . . . it was more the other way around. He himself felt that he trusted him maybe too much . . . but that was not the point. He just did not want to bother him with his moodiness and . . . sadness, he admitted hesitantly to himself. As if his strange behaviour was not enough, sometimes his blood started to boil and he got all hot and sweaty in the middle of December for Merlin’s sake!

Speak of the devil! There was another one coming, he could feel it and stood hurriedly to leave and go outside. Should he talk to his parents about that again? He disliked the thought of leaving right now when he had only a few days left with Harry before he had to go home for the Christmas break nevertheless. Even when they somehow had stopped seeing each other, this was entirely his fault, he knew.

The freezing breath of winter tickled his face and let his body shudder in . . . He did not know nor did he care. In fast steps he marched down to the lake and looked over it, tried to guess where the giant squid was right now. Frowning, the blonde stared down on the frozen lake and tried to remember why he had come out here again. This was another sign that something was not right with him because since the beginning of December he forgot little things very easy and remembered them in the worst situations.

‘Does Sev know a potion against this certain situation?’ He was not sure of it either. Maybe he should just go back into the library and try to find something in all those books . . . if even possible. Then he should go to dinner and . . . take a nap or something. With furrowed brows the blonde’s mind changed quickly again and he looked at the ground. Nearby he saw a stone he could sit on.

Maybe here he would find what was causing his drastic mood swings. Unknown to himself he lifted a hand and mumbled a little word he couldn’t even catch himself and startled slightly when his jacket hit him full force in the face. Muttering to himself in his annoyance, he put it on and sat down, looking over the lake again.

Had his mother said something to his situation when he had been home the last time, right after the awake of his blood? When she had, he could not remember it at all and shook his light head in distraction. Maybe it had something to do with the book Hermione had given him. No, she had given it to him because she hoped it would brighten his mood again but instead it saddened him even more.

But, why? It had been a sweet little story about a sweet little family in a sweet little house with a sweet little garden and an old grant tree in the middle of it. Maybe that had been it . . . too much sweetness. With a sickening feeling, Draco shook his head again. He actually had like the story somehow . . . even when he was embarrassed about it but he had read the whole thing in just one night.

In fact, he remembered it quite well. A few scenes of it played in his mind; his thoughts stopped and he just let the book play off again. Distantly he heard a few words his mother had said when he had been home. But, his mind could not catch them, they entered his flying thoughts and were gone the second he noticed them being around.

Why was he in such a mess?

Why couldn’t he find a way out of it?

And, why was he so confused about it?


###


Pansy looked at her blond friend with worried eyes and then back at the black teen beside her. “What’s with him?” she asked him again but he could only shake his head once more. He did not know it either. “He’s sitting out there since . . . right after breakfast I think. He must be frozen to death already!” she piped up again and pushed Blaise’s shoulder slightly as if it was his fault.

But, the boy just shrugged, still looking over at his unreachable friend. “He’s pushed all of us away and is brooding silently . . . like a tormented animal.” The dark teen mumbled and winced when Pansy hit his head sharply for his words.

“He’s not an animal! He’s still the purest among us!” she all but shouted in his ear and hit his head again.

“Ow! Pansy! Stop it! I have not said that he is an animal! He’s just behaving like one!” the teen huffed back at her, annoyance clearly visible in his dark eyes.

“He missed lunch.” The black-haired girl whispered worriedly again, once more looking over at her still not moving friend. “And he’s sitting like that since he ran out here a few hours ago.”

Blaise could only shrug again, what should he say to that when both of them knew that it was true.
“Maybe we should talk to him . . .”
“Don’t you remember what happened a few days before when we had approached him?” the dark teen laughed sarcastically and shook his head at his friend. Sometimes she really was naïve.

“But still . . . “she answered huffing and frowning.

Maybe this time he would not snap at them and push them away with magic they hadn’t known he possessed.

“Maybe this time . . .”

Sighing Blaise tugged her forward a bit until she was walking beside him, silently as not to frighten their friend.

“I’m sorry but I worry about him!” she whined softly and nudged his ribs . . . a little too hard.

“I know. Every one of us is worrying about him because no one knows why he’s like this.” He mumbled back and silently rubbed his aching side. Bloody girls!

“Draco?” the girl asked softly, hesitantly and watched his every move carefully. But, he did not move, he just sat there as if already dead, frozen. “Draco?” she tried again and got a little closer to him. But, there still was no response. Biting her lip slightly the girl got closer again until she was crouching before him, looking up at him.

“I’m sorry.” the blonde mumbled softly and looked into her dark eyes, his own filled with tears and pain.

“What is it?” she asked softly again, almost crying herself when she saw the look on his face.

“I think I found out why,” the blonde mumbled again and shook his head to clear the fog in front of his eyes a bit.

“You found out what?” Blaise suddenly interrupted with a relieved sigh. Maybe everything would go back to normal now, hopefully.

“I found out why I have been like this since the beginning of December.” Draco answered, slowly looking up at him with a sad smile on his lips and watched his friend frown at him.

“So?” the dark teen demanded with a short nod. Suddenly he felt furious with his friend and his selfishness.

“Don’t be mad at me.” the blonde mumbled and smiled at his best friend again. He truly hated it when Blaise was angry with him because it always felt as if he had lost a piece of himself when they fought.

Muttering under his breath the dark teen felt his anger ebb away and a dull pain settle in his heart. He hated being mad at Draco too and vice versa. Because, it hurt every goddamn time.

“You remember Hermione giving me a book?” the blond veela asked again and waited until he saw both nodding. “I think it is part of my misery . . . A few scenes were playing in my mind again this morning and I remembered some words of my mother. I think I spend the whole day trying to figure out why I feel like this and why I did not tried to find out earlier.

I know it now. You know . . . I think I wish for something that only girls are gifted to get naturally and that is what is making me sad like this. Maybe my blood influenced a bit and everything turned into this extreme instead of just a dull aching pain somewhere deep inside me.”

Blaise Zabini bit his lips sharply. He had noticed that his friend still used the present, which meant that his crisis was not over yet and that was bothering him heavily. He did not know what he should say right now. Of course, he understood immediately what his friend was wishing for but he held no answer in his cunning head either.

“What only a girl is . . . Oh Merlin!” Pansy suddenly huffed in understanding with her heart in her mouth.

“Isn’t it a bit early?” she squeaked somewhat frightened and squeezed her eyes shut. “We’re still in school and all. And how can you know that the two of you stay together . . . especially now?”

“Veela.” was all Draco needed to say and answered all their questions at once.

“But . . . But . . .” Finally, she gave up and sighed defeated with a shake of her head. “You’re unbelievable!” “I’m taking that as a complement,” he laughed softly still holding the sadness and pain in his voice. If he would try to mask it, he would lie but right now, he tried to kit everything back together that had broken.

“It’s time for lunch! You hadn’t had a good meal in quiet some time and you need one badly I’d say!” Pansy ordered suddenly and marched away a few steps until she turned with an annoyed motherly look on her features.

With a silent laugh, Blaise took Draco’s hand and tugged him off the stone, following Pansy towards the castle entrance with his friend right behind him. But, in front of the gates he slowed shortly and hugged his friend for a little while to restore . . . their friendship, his soul . . . he wasn’t really sure but didn’t care either. It was just good to have Draco back.

“It’s okay now. I won’t push you away again . . . at least not right now.” the blonde snickered softly and wound his arms friendly around his still huffing friend. “Let’s hope that Harry isn’t watching right now.” he joked still laughing and heard his friend mutter some nonsense under his breath, moving away from him and looking around quickly to check. He wasn’t stupid!

Smiling Draco nodded at the entrance gates and stepped ahead and Blaise couldn’t do anything but follow him. He knew that the pain in his heart was still there but right now it wasn’t that hard to breath; it seemed dull maybe sleeping until . . . And he knew right now he could live with it. He didn’t know what would be tomorrow but right now . . .

“Make sure you eat a proper meal tonight!” Pansy commanded again and put some chicken on his plate. He made a face and looked at Blaise on his other side but the boy just shook his head with a grin.

As you make your bed, so you must lie on it! Deal with it; it’s your own fault! Draco sighed frustrated. She wouldn’t stop pampering him now, he just knew it and if his luck had left him completely, she wouldn’t stop until next month. Suddenly their winter break seemed to be a good thing.

Now there was only Harry left. For a moment, he felt helpless and looked around hurriedly but with a silent sigh, he took a good bite of his ordered chicken. What should he do to heal the bond between Harry and himself? He thought hard but there was still no answer and questioning he looked up and straight over at the Gryffindor table. However, the raven-haired teen did not seem to notice it, did not even seem interested in it . . . in him.

“He’s been ignoring you for three days now.” Pansy absently mumbled but did not turn to him; she just took another bite of her own meal.

This actually startled him; he had not known, had not noticed . . . this was how self-centred he had been. Maybe he had hurt Harry too much during his misery . . . maybe . . . Hastily; he shook his head to shake off the devastating thought of Harry leaving him because of this.

Suddenly he was not hungry at all and looked down on his plate for a moment before he pushed it away and glanced at his lover again. “I think I’m going to bed. See you tomorrow.” the blonde mumbled silently and almost ran out of the Great Hall, three pairs of eyes watching him.


***


Two were confused over his sudden change of mind, one was hurt, and aching to be with him but Draco Malfoy did not notice it in his flight.

Why had he pushed him away? He should be sharing and talking about problems instead of fighting them alone? Hadn’t that been the meaning of being together? Frustrated Harry looked down onto his plate again but still held no interest in eating tonight. He was tired, sad, and hurt and . . .

What had happened to Draco anyway? First, he was all nice and happy but then he was suddenly moody and trembling with hurt and fears . . . or was it something else entirely? He still did not know. Hermione had said that she had tried to brighten him up, but it had only made it worse.

“You guys, I’m going to bed. I’m tired and hadn’t had a good night sleep in a few days.” He muttered explaining to Hermione and Neville and got up. Of course, this had been a lie because he had not slept well since Draco started to withdrawal himself from every one.

Frowning Harry remembered that the blonde had told him once that his blood protected him in his dreams, that because of him being a veela he would not dream of Voldemort again.

And, since the beginning of December, Draco had stayed in the Slytherin territory at night and had ordered his house to keep him away. He would have gotten through them easily but it had hurt him that his lover had not wanted him there. Or, beside him help him.

Still tormenting himself with thoughts about Draco, he stepped out of his clothes and into a pyjama bottom. Distantly he asked himself why he suddenly could smell the blonde’s scent this strongly because the aroma of vanilla was all around him and teasing him even more. He missed the boy, missed talking to him, fighting. He missed cuddling and kissing him just as much as just holding him and sleeping peacefully beside him.

With a frustrated sigh, he climbed into his bed and almost jumped right out of it again when he noticed that someone already was in it.

“Harry?” he heard a teary mumbling and knew that it was Draco.

But, why hadn’t he noticed him? The curtains of his bed where still open and he could still see even when the room was dark. Had he been this deep in thoughts that he had not notice that Draco was lying in his bed?

He muttered something quietly and slipped under his thick covers but still not touching the boy beside him.

“I’m sorry Griffin. I am so sorry.” Draco mumbled again and had the outlying feeling that that was not enough. Because, Harry still lay beside him, silent and not looking at him or even considering the idea of touching him right now.

“I need you to hold me,” the blonde begged softly and felt tears well up in his eyes again. “I really need you to hold me now,” he repeated and a lonesome tear rolled down his cheek and wetted his lover’s pillow.

The raven-haired teen sighed frustrated again before he pushed himself over and tugged Draco in his arms forcefully. Sometimes he hated that the blonde was his soft spot. He just could not bear it to hear and feel his dragon so sad and lonely.

But he kept his silence, tried to show Draco that it was his turn, that he needed to come to him not Harry creeping back at him. Because he had not done anything, wrong!

“I settled it today. I’m sorry. I’ll tell you sometimes later, I promise but right now, I’m so tired. I missed you. I’m sorry, so sorry.” the blonde mumbled again and again and pressed his head under Harry’s chin, lying on his lovers arm.

Sighing Harry bent his head a little, inhaled the scent of vanilla deeply, and pressed closer to the blonde. He would give him the time he needed, always would, but would later demand that Draco to talk to him. But, right now, he was just so happy to have him back in his arms, to have him back where he belonged.

“Why is your scent this strong?” he asked his blond lover and tried to hold him even closer.
“My mother’s genes . . . It felt as if you would withdraw from me and my blood reacted to it. It’s to bind the mate closer as not to lose him.” Draco answered with a yawn and cuddled closed into Harry’s neck.

“I love you. I’m sorry. I need you,” he mumbled a last time before sleep took him over and he went silent. It was okay, Harry told himself, it would not hurt anymore in the morning because they were back together how they were meant to be, it was okay now. Sighing silently, he kissed Draco’s head and held him closer, still needed him closer but for
now . . .


*


Laughing softly he turned away from his lover and looked over the scene in front of them. It felt good to be out in the green on a normal Sunday, relaxing in the presence of their whole family before every one needed to go to work tomorrow again. Smiling silently, he watched the members of their family and a laugh broke out of his throat again.

When he had been younger, he had not thought that one day he would be with the man he loved, that he would have children with him and a rather proud horde of a family. But, he would not change it if asked because it seemed that his every dream come true with the man beside him.

They were out in the grant garden of the Malfoy estate, picnicking and spending a good time together. His father had complained at first, as he always did when they met here for holidays or just by chance but now he was laughing and smiling with them

Severus Snape set beside his husband of nine years and stole pieces of his meal every now and then when Remus was not looking but when he was he just smiled lovingly and kissing him softly. Then he turned away again and talked excited with Sirius Black and Nymphadora Tonks, whose hair colour changed drastically every minute.

Beside them, Molly and Arthur Weasley were fighting over a piece of cake because Molly had set Arthur on a diet for his health. Of course, he did not accept it like that and tried to eat just one piece of Pansy’s cake as fast as he could so his dear wife would not notice. Too bad for him that he forgot that Molly Weasley noticed everything.

Bill Weasley was talking with his wife Fleur Delacour about a new set of bracelets for their daughter. She really wanted to buy them because they would suit her little darling just fine but her deaf husband thought it was a waste of their money. It was a good thing she had veela blood in her veins too because he wouldn’t stand a chance against her as soon as they entered their bedroom.

Madame Maxime was huffing in annoyance because Hagrid was trying to talk her into a new pet for them, which of course was rather rare and dangerous. She rolled her eyes at him when he started begging for a new little baby pet.

Pansy Parkinson was tickling a little boy in her lap while Neville looked as proud as Jupiter himself, watched his little family playing. It seemed his dreams had come true as well.

Blaise interrupted the playing pair of mother and son from time to time and talked with his old friend about random stuff and just trying to keep Neville in their conversation he asked some questions about work and plants.

Charley and his husband Trent Weasley were playing a round of wizarding chess with their own special pieces. Because they both loved and worked with dragons, their chess pieces were entirely dragons too and sometimes they both were mocked about it. They were too sweet with their cheeks red and their eyes blazing trying to defend themselves, just too sweet and a too good not to mock.

Fred and George Weasley were arguing about a new piece out of their shop, which had not been tested right now but needed to. And after their last self test, which had forced them to close their shop in Diagon Alley for an entire week, they were rather keen to test it on some one else.

Hermione set beside them, a book in her lap and a man, no one had known before their graduation because he was a muggle, leaning against her dozing peacefully. Every now and then, she looked up and checked if their children were okay.

Harry suddenly was calling out for Hagrid and telling him to gather their kids together and the half giant stopped begging for a new pet immediately and coughed shortly before his loud voice boomed over the garden, startling many and calling their children for lunch.

Just then, shouting and laughter could be heard and a great crowed of children stormed over a hillock followed shortly by a panting Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, which were both smiling joyfully.

Suddenly they were all complete and almost every free place on their blanket was taken.

Remus cradled a little boy in his lap while Severus cleaned a little girl beside him.

Molly was rushing around and loading plates without asking and Arthur finally got his piece of cake.

Bill was balancing a wiggling girl in his lap too and laughed about the lecture his son got form his mother because of his not so fancy style of clothing right now.

Madame Maxime whispered something in a rather big boy’s ear and giggled excited when the boy turned a stern glare on his father, who cringed under it and muttered something about both being hand in glove with each other.

Blaise looked at his children and laughed gleefully when his son always turned his eyes on his father’s best friend’s son and his daughter pushed her pigtails out of her face while she listened to her father’s story and tried to eat as much cookies as she could at once.

Charley and Trent were mocking a little girl now, who stood her ground proudly and pouty just because she had told her fathers that she had seen a dragon, a real dragon nearby . . . which itself was true when you knew about the dungeons of Malfoy Manor, which Charley and Trent did not . . .

Hermione had put her book aside and was now listening to her three children’s adventure in the Malfoy garden with a serious look on her face while her husband laughed contently when she furrowed her brows and mentioned to their children that this and that was impossible because of this and that.

Draco himself could not help and laughed in excitement and pure love to every one of them, he had never been this happy in his entire life.

“Daddy? Can I go over and talk with Charley and Trent? Miriam said something about a dragon and I really want to know about that,” a voice piped up at him demandingly. He looked at his own little daughter, who was hopping around in her ember coloured dress and black shorts. He smiled at her and waved her off, watching her straight raven-coloured hair with white blonde strands in it wiggle around when she hurried over to the dragon tamers.

“What about having a meal all together?” Harry’s deep voice asked him teasingly and laughed when his husband pouted softly. “We are, aren’t we?”

“In this case . . . can I go over to Tanna, she said she wanted to talk to me about something important.” their eldest son questioned with a happy gleam in his silver eyes and looked at both of his parents pleadingly.

“Go on then . . . but don’t forget to tell me later cub!” Harry laughed and shushed his son off, who giggled and shook his head.

“I want to go too. Elian is looking worriedly again . . . but if you don’t want me to, that’s okay as well.” their second son and twin of their daughter said softly and looked disturbed himself at his parents for their approval.

“Since when do you have to ask sweetheart?” Draco sniggered and brushed his hand over his son’s hair gently. Both of them got a kiss on their cheek and their last child was gone too.

“So . . . Now it’s just the two of us again . . . “Harry mumbled teasingly and leaned over him.
Laughing joyfully, he pushed his husband away and got to his feet.

“Not if I can help it!” he laughed, walked over to Charley Weasley and tired to distract him from his daughter, which glared playfully at him.

Smiling gleefully, he listened to Sev’s sniggers at his Harry was turned down and he could imagine his husband pouting dejectedly just fine.


*


With a little shudder, Draco opened his eyes slowly. He was still pressed against Harry, who hadn’t loosened his grip on him during their sleep. Confused he noticed that his cheeks were wet and that he must have cried in his sleep because . . .

He felt a little foggy but pieces of his dream were coming back to him slowly as if not wanting to crush his heart into pieces because the pain, which came with his dream, was soft and aching.
But it was okay he told himself and rubbed his cheeks dry slowly, he could live with that.

Slowly he tried to get away from Harry to begin their day as the early rising one of them as always.
He smiled softly when Harry mumbled unconscious in his sleep and tried to hold him a bit tighter but loosened his grip slowly when the blonde caressed his cheek and neck softly.

And, with a final gentle laugh, he slipped away from his lover and tried to find his wash clothes as silently as possible with Harry’s roommates still sleeping within the same dorm as them. Still thinking about those little pieces of his dream, which slowly fitted together, Draco, stepped under the shower.

It felt strange . . . and he did not know if it was just a dream or some kind of vision. But, that was Blaise’s territory not his. He had no clue about all that stuff and he thought he liked Arithmancy better than Divination. Maybe he should ask his friend about it. But . . . he did not really feel like telling anyone about his dream either.

Sighing, he stepped out of the shower stall and dried his aching body. It still felt strange and it still hurt but what else could he do right at the moment than just forget about it for now. And, with a deep breath, he turned and strode into the dorm room again. Silently he crawled back into his lover’s bed and bent over him slowly. “Harry?” he mumbled gently and patted the raven-haired teens cheeks softly.

The young man sighed dreamily and Draco laughed silently again. “Time to wake up . . . oh come on! Wake up!”

“No . . .”

“Yes . . . you’re already late for Potions.” the blonde snickered and watched delighted when his lover’s eyes snapped open and he set up shortly with his mouth wide open.

“Just a little joke. Calm down Griffin.” Draco snickered again and patted Harry’s shoulder playfully.

“That was mean, really mean Draco. Actually . . . I think you need to pay for that joke.” the raven-haired teen smirked suddenly wide-awake.

When he heard the blonde’s laugh, he smiled softly. He had missed that, really had missed that.

“Get yourself ready for breakfast.” the blond teen ordered softly and left the bed again, walking out of the room again and down into the dungeons to dress himself anew.

“Oh! Draco you beast!” Blaise screamed when his blanked suddenly left him.

But, Draco only laughed and buttoned his shirt up so he could put on a new tie and his school robes and finally go into the Great Hall for breakfast.

He felt as if he was starving!

And, laughing again he watched Blaise hurry through the cold room and put some clothes on.
He snickered excited when his friend was finally ready and glaring at him but pushed him out of their dorm nevertheless.

In the entrance hall they met Harry and friends again . . . just per sé, of course and Harry sighed happily. It seemed that everything was back to normal and Draco’s strange behaviour, he still had not explained, had just been his imagination.

“Let’s go, I’m hungry.” the raven-haired teen heard right by his ear and turned to look at the dark teen puzzled for a little moment.

Harry shook his head with a small smirk on his face and went by his friend’s side into the Great Hall. When Draco was back by his side again, he noticed that his lover was talking wordlessly with his godfather and watched them distractedly for a little moment.

Snape shook his head and stared down on the blond teen, Draco sighed and shrugged before he set down on the Slytherin table and tried to choose what he should eat. Suddenly he was hungry and felt his stomach ache in his empty state.

Harry caught Remus’ eyes and shrugged too because he did not know what those two were ‘talking’ about at all. And, with a little sigh, he flopped down on Draco’s side and snatched a stripe of beacon from his plate.


***


Silently he tapped on the potion masters door to his private chambers and waited. He knew he would get a lecture now because he had worried everyone, he just knew it.

After a mumbled almost inaudible comment, he pushed the heavy doors open softly and peered inside.

“Take a seat!” the stoic potion professor ordered, his cold eyes glued on his godson as if he could find answers by just watching him.

Gulping the blonde nodded and seated himself in front of this rather impressive dark desk.
He did not really know what he should do or say right now because it was rare that his godfather was looking at him like this.

Severus Snape kept his silence and just looked at his favourite student, waiting for . . . Merlin knows what and the blond teen swallowed anxiously.

“It is nice that you could find the time to talk to me.” the man mumbled sweetly and watched the blonde shudder.

“It’s not as if I had a choice, isn’t it?” Draco laughed nervously and looked at his hands in his lap.

“Correct.”

“Uhm . . . “ the teen mumbled and felt like flight would be the best thing to do right now, after the man in front of him hadn’t said anything more in quite some time.

“What was it that took you so long?”

“I . . . nothing sir.” Draco mumbled and looked up in the clouding eyes of his godfather. Suddenly they were staring into each other’s eyes and maybe deeper. He could clearly see the hurt and worry in those black orbs and the faint feeling of discomfort and he was sure that the man in front of him could see his inner self easily too.

Subsequently the professor sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling very tired and relieved. “Are you feeling better now?” he then asked without beating around the bush, with soft worried eyes and Draco collapsed in his seat.

“Yes . . . I’m sorry Sev. I didn’t mean to bother everyone like that but there were some things I needed to think it out alone. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“And?”

“I can’t have it but I can life with that kind of pain it’s causing.”

And, the potion master nodded not really pleased with this answer but it was better than nothing, he thought. He had never seen his godson like this before, so distant and weak. He had messed up almost all of his potions in class because of his lack of concentration and Draco Malfoy wasn’t meant to mess up his potions, not with a potion master as his godfather, not with him as his godfather!

It pained him to admit it but he didn’t like Potter like this either. The raven-haired teen hadn’t responded to even one of his taunts and . . . there still were those pictures he couldn’t get rid off, even when his thoughts and memories already were in his pensive.

Silently he looked at the blond teen again, watching him for a while.

“Is he worth it?” he then asked and received a shocked expression on the teens face.

Draco hadn’t expected this kind of question and at the first moment, he even was puzzled what the man wanted to know.

Was it his fault that Draco had stumbled into this mess of his feelings and thoughts?

“More than anything else.” he finally mumbled and looked down again, his heart beating fast in his chest.

No.

“He’s a Gryffindor.” The potion master replied and watched his somehow, adopted son carefully.

“Is Professor Lupin worth it?” his favourite blonde fired back silently with clouded eyes and he could only nod, more than anything else could be.

“He’s a Gryffindor too.”

“Touché.” he mumbled and nodded again. If he would . . . would, it be okay to show Draco? Carefully he watched the teen again and knitted his brows in question.

“Take a look at the pensive!” he suddenly said and startled the young boy slightly.

Unbelieving Draco looked over at it, back at his godfather and then back again at the pensive and silently stood up and walked over to it. With a deep breath, he leaned forward and stared hard into the swirling mess in front of his eyes. Slowly pictures formed until a little movie was playing in his mind.

He didn’t notice when he started to shake and his breathing got ragged, he didn’t notice when little sobs forced themselves out of his throat and tears were trailing down his cheeks hurriedly.

He only could see what he hadn’t known would ever happen to someone like Harry Potter. The young man was famous all over the wizarding world but treated badly in another one. After some rumours, he had imagined some stuff but he hadn’t known that it actually had been this terrible.

With an almost silent cry, he fell to his knees and was hugging himself maybe to stop his shaking or to stop his tears or the pain he suddenly felt deep inside of him, or to push all those pictures out of his mind.

One scene had imprinted itself in his thoughts strongly and refused to be pushed aside.

A little child maybe one year old with his arms stretched out and crying as if someone had died. And a women with a horse face leaning against a fat greasy man, looking down at the child with muzzled black locks and emerald-coloured eyes as if he was a bug, creeping around in their kitchen. (1)

Suddenly there were arms encircling him and helping him up, back into a chair. With clouded eyes, he blinked at his godfather, not really seeing him at all but those tears just wouldn’t stop.

“What was this?” he wanted to know in a hoarse voice that broke at his last words.

“Potter’s past.” the potion master mumbled softly and received another pained sob.

“I had to use the pensive for them after our training on his Occlumency. I thought you needed to see them too.” Severus Snape muttered softly and rubbed his eyes again.

“Why?” the teen demand to know, fresh tears running down his face again but the potion professor just shrugged, feeling tired and drained out.

He hated those pictures, all of them and he did not like that, they changed his mind about the Golden Boy even if just a tiny little bit.

“Calm down enough and find him.” he advised the blonde tenderly and stood to get a tissue so Draco could clean his face a bit first.

Muttering under his breath, he rubbed the soft paper handkerchief over his face and pulled on his hair until it hurt.

Then he nodded and stormed out of his chambers pushing his doors shut forcefully so the potion professor startled slightly. Now he just needed to clean his pensive and those horrible pictures would be gone forever, imprinted only in his godson’s and his own mind, maybe forever.
Maybe both of them, Draco and him, were now able to understand the young man a bit better . . . maybe not, but it had felt right to show them to his godson.

Draco ran through the dungeons into the entry hall and up all those stairs to Gryffindor Tower. He did not notice that he was pushing students aside and forced his way through several floors until he stood panting in front of the portrait and The Fat Lady was looking down on him with a strange expression until he cried out the password.

He rushed in, ignoring that everyone startled and howled out his name. He did not care at all whatever anyone of them wanted right now, he just needed to find Harry and . . . He did not know what he would do when he finally had found him but first things first.

Vehemently, he pushed through the door of the raven-haired teen’s dorm room and tackled the young man, rumbling through his supplies, down onto his bed until he lay completely on top of him.

He felt the ragged breath of his lover under him, nuzzled his head into his neck, and kissed the heated flesh softly. Then strong arms wound themselves around him, pressing him closer and a tender mumble carried over to his ears, asking him what was wrong and telling him that everything would be okay again. He knew that Harry tried to soothe him but he just needed to sob out the pain in his heart he felt while he still saw this picture of the baby boy holding out his arms and those crying hurt green eyes, which pleaded to be held.


###


Harry had been shocked almost to death when he suddenly found himself covered by his teary lover and absently flickered his hand to seal the door. He hadn’t thought to see Draco this early again when he just had left to visit Snape and he had wanted to do his potions essay but couldn’t find his book and parchment so he rumbled through his case to maybe find them there.

Suddenly his blonde snake had been in his arms, crying pitifully and searching for protection and love. “Tell me what happened Dragon,” he whispered into the blonde’s ear over and over again, wanting to know why he was crying, what had made him this unhappy and swearing himself to kill that damn potion master, for whatever he had done.

“Just hold me,” Draco whispered back silently, wanting to soothe the pain and trying to find a way to make Harry forget his bad relatives, to remember him that he had a new family now.

Then when he had calmed down he would attack everyone who dared to make his Harry upset ever again!

Slowly he felt his mind overtake his body again and the crying quietened to almost low little sobs until he twisted his body slightly so his legs were on each side of Harry’s hips and his chest pressed tightly to his lover’s one.

Softly he started to trail tender kisses along his raven-haired one’s throat and released another quiet sob when his kiss mixed with his own tears on Harry’s skin. He could hear his own mumbles without knowing what he was saying when the young man beneath him sighed in enjoyment and confusion.

“Draco . . . ?” the emerald-eyed teen exhaled, still rubbing circles in the small of the blonde’s back but he didn’t get any answer. Only those gentle lips wandered up his neck and suddenly kissed his jaw line tenderly as if he would break when he was touched too hard.

Then the blonde looked up, straight into his lover’s eyes and heard a rumbling sound again but again he could not make out what was said. He only could see the tenderness in Harry’s emerald orbs and the need to hold him close, so close . . .

With a gentle smile, Draco bent his head and kissed Harry’s cheek. Softly he trailed up until his lips touched those of his lover in an almost tantalizing way as if he tried to memorize their texture.

He felt one of Harry’s hands trail up on his back until it laid almost on his shoulder to hinder him from moving up and away, the other one still on his lower back, pressing him down softly but securely.

Draco pecked his lover’s mouth softly until he heard a little whine escape the raven-haired teen’s throat and then settled down into another sweet and agonizing slow kiss. He shuddered when Harry mumbled incoherent stuff and tried to take control of their kiss but this time he would not. Draco was determined to make Harry forget everything else, except him.

Happily, he opened his mouth and instantly felt his lover’s tongue press in. He could only smile while he responded to the eager probing tenderly making Harry almost cry out his frustration.
He felt the toned body under him tense up for quite some time until Harry suddenly lost all of it and practically collapsed into the bed, letting Draco have his way.

And, with a gentle laugh the blonde pressed their tongues together and forgot again what ever had been in his head. It was not as important as . . .

Slowly they kissed and backed off, still tasting their breath and kissing tenderly again. The hand on his back carefully wandered up and into his soft silvery hair, caressing it and holding onto it.

Harry sighed lovingly and angled the blonde’s head slightly to kiss him deeper, more intense but still slow like, his lover wanted it to be. This time he would let him.

The fair-haired teen exhaled softly, stroked his tongue the faintest bit harder against his lover’s and received a pleased moan for it.

Just then, he noticed the slowly growing erection pressing into his lower body, focused as he had been on their kiss and felt his own body react to it. But, this time, he would control himself better and wait until Harry . . . Carefully he opened his mouth a bit wider to keep the raven-haired teen from ending their kiss and taking in a deep breath.

With an almost silent groan, Harry pushed harder against his blonde and thrust his hips against him slowly, feeling both their erections rubbing together. Draco had not made any sound until now and he had the distant feeling that this was going to be torture for him, until Draco would allow them to make love.

The blonde smiled softly into their kiss but kept his body unmoving. He could feel Harry’s frustration and his wish to take him right there, but not now.

Quietly Draco caressed his lover’s face while the raven-haired teen whimpered beneath him and thrust stronger into him. He could feel how his lover’s body started to move restlessly, urging him to follow but he stilled himself completely, strongly, pushed his own desire back to make Harry see and believe that he was loved.

Never again would he be alone or unhappy, never ever again!

Then he felt the raven-haired teen’s body stop its every move and tense up again. Waiting, he inhaled thoroughly until he heard Harry’s whimpering cry and set up slowly. With a loving smile, he looked down on his lover’s face and could see that he still was not satisfied but deeply in love with his partner.

“Harry.” he mumbled softly and took a deep breath when those powerful now forest green eyes opened and focused on him. Smiling he wriggled a bit in his position and laughed when his lover growled playfully at him, holding his hips still.

“Come on love.” the emerald-eyed teen whispered and carefully stroked his lover’s sides, pushing his shirt up and urging his blonde to lift his arms and wiggle himself out of it. Somehow, their robes had been gone since they had fallen on the bed in a heap of arms and legs.

Smiling, Draco carefully opened the raven-haired teen’s own shirt and caressed the toned skin he exposed lovingly, kissing his way down and then up again when he had reached his lover’s pants.
He lifted his body up slowly with the gently command of his lover and let his own trousers slid down over his soft and milky thighs until he had to balance himself carefully and withered them down completely.

Sighing he lowered his head again and closed his eyes, still kneeling over Harry when the raven-haired teen caressed his thighs tenderly, loving their soft texture.

Then he slid down his lover’s body again and took his sticky clothes with him until the raven-haired one was as naked as he was.

Slowly he crawled back up and pressed tender kisses down his lover’s face until Harry took his face in his face in both of his strong hands and halted his movements to kiss him deeply, too aroused to wait any longer for that sweet mouth’s taste.

This time Draco allowed himself to react on his desire and moaned softly into their kiss, which with his sigh became a bit more heated and left him squirming on Harry’s body slightly.

When he heard Harry’s pleased laugh he snickered softly and intensified their kiss even more until his lover thrust his hips up again.

Now he could act properly and whispered a few words quietly not noticing that Harry spoke the rest of the spell softly when he had gasped and pushed back down.

When the raven-haired teen pushed two fingers into him and Draco ripped his mouth away panted harshly. It had been so long since they had done this the last time because of his little withdrawal from reality.

Silently and with closed eyes, he thrust down on the penetrating fingers, pushing them deeper and moaning silently.

“Dragon!” Harry inhaled sharply at the sight of his lover, demanding him to go a bit farer, to take him in finally and jerked when the blonde suddenly sat down slowly on his erection.

Draco moaned loudly when he slid down on his lover, taking everything of him inside him but swiftly stilled again.

He laughed softly when he heard his partners protest and looked down on him again. Their eyes locked and neither could turn away, were forced to look at each other and acknowledge their deep feelings in that particular moment.

Draco felt a strange twinge in his inside and slowly tested his magic, sinking deeper into himself and noticed that his charm was twisted up with Harry’s own magic.

A cord of his own silver string of charisma and Harry’s deep shimmering green.

How had they bonded?

Or, was it because Harry was his mate?

With a start, he opened his eyes again, immediately locking them with Harry’s again and started to move softly.

Draco stared down into those enchanting emerald eyes, which have darkened and were looking back at him in hunger, daring him to move faster and sharper.

He wanted to, his bodily need to almost overwhelmingly; he wanted to claim and be claimed but the urge to go slow and sweep away all of his lover’s bad memories of his relatives, was much stronger.

Therefore, his actions were slow, soft and deep moving them both but not physically but deep down their souls, twisting their magic even more together.

Somehow, through their locked eyes that strange bond between them was for both of them almost visible.

He felt his raven-haired lover deep in his mind, soul and body, and felt Harry wanting him to go fast and slow, to be rough and gentle at the same time.

He rode him like that for what felt like hours until he halted completely and felt his muscles clench around Harry’s erection, making him withering and moaning and finally emptying himself deep in his lover.

Then Draco cried aloud thrusting his head back and opening his eyes wide, shortly startled because of the sudden heat he felt in his whole body but suddenly satisfied completely.

When he looked down on his lover again, his eyes had a deep black colour, which stunned Harry slightly.

Then the raven-haired teen shook his head, thinking that something with his sight was not okay and looked up at the blonde again.

With a strange feeling in his inside, he noticed that his lover’s eyes were molten silver again and knitted his brows in confusion.

Exhausted, Draco bent down, leaning his entire weight on Harry and kissed his furrowed brows lovingly.

“I love you.” he whispered tenderly and kissed Harry’s forehead again, then his cheek and lips until he lowered his head even more and leaning it against his lover’s shoulder for support.

And with this Harry didn’t think of what just had happened, too enclosed in his blond lover and his feelings.

“I love you.” the raven-haired teen mumbled back and stroked the blonde’s back lovingly and finally encircling him in his arms and holding him close.

A/N: I’m sorry the end is a bit strange in my writing style but I’ve got a bronchitis and my head’s clouding and clearing every now and then, just like it wants to.
And . . . next chapter we start with this over sappy stuff and I’m a bit afraid that I mess up and . . .


(1) . . . I stumbled over a scene like that in Jennavere’s “The Veela Enigma” and I cried. I love this scene even when it’s sad and wanted to have something like that too. But, sadly mine isn’t as nice as hers. Well . . . partly it is intentional but partly it isn’t. Here’s the link to the site you can find her story:

http://www.sabershadowkat.com/harrypotter/recs.html or http://www.skyehawke.com/archive/story.php?no=7142

harrydraco4life:

Hey, there is no need to be sorry. I liked that idea and in another story I AM working on, he’s a creature . . . well not an elf or a fey but a creature my sister imagined specially for this story. But, it’s good that you brought all his piercings and earrings up again because . . . I almost forgot about them, sorry. ^_^ and the pointed ears . . . I’m afraid this was another of my bad mistakes in English and . . . o_O’
See you in the next chapter lovely.


paigeey07:

Thanks again. God I’m such a lucky little bird to have some reviewers like you. I’m so thankful for every of your messages to my stories and . . . don’t make me cry! ^_^
Till next time.

Whitmore:

I’m sorry there are so many mistakes in it, really am sorry. But, I read over it two times . . . mhm maybe I wasn’t thoroughly enough because . . . I hate reading through it again. Sorry. I’m so happy every time I’m done with another chapter and then reality catches up with me again and I’m almost wrecked because I have to read through it again.
It’s really hard to explain but I found a grant beta and worship her thoroughly so she keeps up doing that work for me.
But, thank for your kind words too. I grin like a gnome every time I read praise like that and . . . uh . . . yeah. ^_^ *blushing*
Hope to hear from you at the next chapter again.


thrnbrooke:

Thank you so much lovely. I do love you, you know because you review every crap I post and that makes me love you because somehow I trust you to review again and . . . You get the meaning I think. ^_^
I’m sorry I took that other story back because the title doesn’t suit it anymore and I more or less was ashamed of it. I changed almost everything in long discussions with my sister. Bust, I saved your review for it on my computer.
See you next time.