A House Homecoming for All

Cait rushed in squeaking happily every now and then, down the halls and up to Gryffindor r whr where she shoved open the portrait hole and collapsed in a heap, ear pressed to the entrance. Oliver Wood had transferred back to Hogwarts from his successful position as coach for the premiere Quidditch team in Britain just to meet the new legitimate Gryffindor newly inducted into the Hogwart\'s family. Now, with only two weeks before classes actually began, Cait was fortunate enough to recieve one and a half hour practices each day in the hopes that she\'d become proficient enough to play on her house\'s team.

Radiating the glow of a well raced bdy, Cait\'s chest still heaved with the remnants of their practice, flushing her face. Oliver, (or Woody as she had taken to calling him) seemed to be like Ron who\'d stopped by a day prior to Woody\'s arrival, and was nearly obsessively besotted by muggle culture. Although Cait mentioned profusely that she was an American muggle and didn\'t know who the prime minister of Britain was, it did not disuade the boisterous, tanned Scotsman to query further into the mundane.

Now, as Cait was presed up against the wall in a rather amicable position to her crotch, it was all she could do not to rub herself to completion and listen carefully to the faint footfals outside in the cooridor.
Jessica, who popped by all the houses except Hufflepuff on a rgular basis, could tell something was amiss as soon as she saw that the Fat Lady was complaining even more than usual and sidled onto ito it in hopes she wouldn\'t have to recite that ludacrous new password in preparation for September.

\"And how are you today, Sweet Lady?\" Jessica simpered until she thought her eyes would go pink from her own repulsive saccharinity.

\"Hmph! I\'d be better if these two would stop playing about my frock!\" And indeed, every time Cait rushed out to check around the corner for Woody, the Fat Lady\'s dress flew up, mussing her hair and gilt face.

Jessica successfully stifled her snickering and said seriously, \"How awful - if you let me in I could surely tell them off for you!\"

The Fat Lady raised an eyebrow.

\"What else do you want from me?\" Jessica said flatly. The Fat Lady checked her surroundings before motioning for her to step closer.

\"Can\'t you do something about those noises coming from below the flooring?\" she whispered frantically before straightening and pretending to comb her bouncy girls with her hand.

Jessica cocked an eyebrow and squinted at the painted matron, \"What would I know about these sounds - I\'m in the dungeons, remember? With all the other wretched reprobates bound for perdition...\" Jess mumbled and shuffled her feet in a vain attempt to scrape off some gunk she\'d stepped in on her way from the potions lab the night before.

\"Oh honestly, I wasn\'t insinuating you were behind it, child... I just want you to... investigate,\" she muttered annoyedly before putting on the placid facade all Gryffindors were used to unless they forgot the password.

\"And why me exactly? You think I\'m already in trouble that it won\'t tarnish your reputation if I get caught and tell the authorities who put me up to it?\" Jess winked and watched as the Fat Lady fluffed her feathers predictably. Recovering quickly, the Fat Lady knew what she\'d have to do.

\"Alright then... I\'ll give you the password to the facultys\'s lavatory if you stop that racket every night...\" Jessica made to walk away.

\"Fine! Just to see what it is then... I have my guesses but... just do it!\" with a smirk, Jess nodded her head and soon forgot why she\'d come to visit Cait to begin with when she could take a bath with in hope of Snape barging in at any moment. Ah, sweet luck.

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Andrew was busily preparing himself and everything he\'d need for his scheduled trip to Diagon Alley with Tiera who he didn\'t know from Adam. He shoved another satchel of galleons into his pack and again reflected upon what omnicent force (other than the decrepid Dumbledore) had brough him to this place in his life.

Like Jessica, Andrew was grieving for his lost life, though internally and bit less articulate, Andrew thrummed his thoughts like a steel drum\'s aftershocks through his brain night after night. Twiddling the ties on his new robes, Andrew sat down and breathed out a long awaited sigh of remorse for the muggle man he could\'ve been one day. Before he knew it, he felt another sort of breeze upon his neck and his breath hitched in familiarity now. As usual, the Bloody Baron was staring at him aloofly with an inscouciant countenance about him which Andrew wanted to throttle.

\"All ready for your first lesson then?\" Andrew blinked and defensively crossed his legs.

\"I don\'t want to go anywhere with you,\" he said quickly and looked away sheepishly. The Baron, who\'d been refused many a time, let the unfounded aversion roll off of his back and proceeded to pull out a scroll from his pirate\'s briefcase.

\"No worries about time management now, I know you\'re due to meet with the Hufflepuff girl and Prof. McGonnagal in an hour; I thought I should just give you warning as to what \'ll be exposing you to after you return.\"
That immediately got Andrew\'s hair up and the boy leapt to his feet with many a flirt and flutter.

\"You can\'t just dictate to me, you know!\" Andrew fumed, his face turning an alluring pink, \"Why can\'t Dumbledore be the one to actually \"expose\" me to things? Besides, ghosts aren\'t supposed to leave the premises from which they\'re condemned to!\" Satisfied with The Baron\'s especially cute petulant frown, Andrew sat back down and resumed counting out his money delievered by the alcoholic Hagrid, recently bereft of his poor lamba-beetle, Shiny.

The Baron merely snorted after a few minutes and sat down in the chair he\'d comandeered the first night of Andrew\'s stay.
\"I don\'t know why you won\'t just try me, you know,\" the Baron said softly, bitterly, as if he\'d been rejected too many times in his life, \"I did actually use to be a teacher here, believe it or not; I\'m not completely useless on a pedantic level...\"

Andrew\'s mouth fell open at this confession and he suddenly felt compelled to reach over and hug the transparent collection of ectoplasm; he had given this man - or what used to be a man- a reason to leave the castle after so many years of floating through walls with ease only to see the same landmarks, people and ghosts year after year. Of course, it was all so new to Andrew that he hadn\'t considered this until now, seeing the Baron looking crestfallen and frustrated as a child would after being told they couldn\'t go to Disneyland after all.

Twitching upon his own tufted pillows, Andrew decided to give it a shot with the undead, at least it would be interesting; it wasn\'t like he had anything else to do what with Jessica always tagging around Snape in efforts to cordially seduce him (Andrew mentally gagged at the thought of straight sex) and Cait chasing after that Wood guy (he was convinced that the only reason she liked him was for his accent and his last name).

Andrew got up and placed his things bak in the bottom drawer of his dresser and walked up to the discontent spectre.
\"Alright, where are you going to take me?\" the Baron\'s eyes lit up with something close to victory lingering just behind them, which prompted Andrew\'s keen wit of subtlety to realise the entire thing was a well rehearsed play, but for some reason felt inpressed instead of decieved.

\"Well, I was going to show you the ancient house of Ravenclaw not too far from here... well, what\'s left of it anyway,\" the Baron looked askance from Andrew\'s unwavering gaze and he realised he\'d been gawking foolishly at him since he was ever so unconsiously reclining on his bed, legs spread and balancing on his elbow provocatively.

Blushing further, Andrew picked up his outer cloak and shuffled off to the door purposefully.
\"Well?\" The Baron smiled and hovered over to where Andrew stood apprehensively, placing a comforting cool hand on his shoulder rubbing it up and down along his back; Andrew could only pray he\'d made the right choice.

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Cait finally caught up to Jessica who was by now discovering all sorts of fetid, intricate and demented things down in the hidden floor below Gryffindor Tower. Cait scampered along behind noisily while Jessica scowled and had to turn around for the eighth time thorugh very narrow section.

\"Jeez, Cait, for a house known for being brave, you seem a wee bit skittish in the face of potential peril,\" Jessica smirked as Cait seethed and began tripping faster towards the flickering flame of their only candle ahead.

\"Shut it, Snake; you\'re the one who said we shouldn\'t buy into this stupid house cr and and pardon me for feeling a bit on edge inside a hidden maze filled with runic symbols written on the walls and ancient relics that God only knows could do to us if we say something we shouldn\'t... you-\"

\"Care to make it any longer winded and I\'m going to have to pop my umbrella before the storm hits, Cait,\" Jess leered maliciously as she played upon Cait\'s worse fear - clostrophobia.

\"Move!\" was the reposte and Jess measured her tread until they hit a fork with two doors blocading their passage. Cait sighed wearily and rested her head against the side of the tunnel.

\"Why do I follow you?\" Jess looked back yet again with a quizzical gleam in her eye; a dangerous solitude overwhelmed the place and Jess turned forward automatically.

\"Nevermind your strangled psyche for a moment, Cait - I think we may have interrupted something...\" and sure enough as Cait\'s ears pricked themselves, a faint sqeaking could be heard on the other side of one of the doors, the only question was, which one?

\"Which one do you think it is, Miss Granger Reincarnated?ess ess warbled carelessly as if it was just another thing assigned for her to do before term.

\"Jess, aren\'t you the slightest bit worried that what\'s behind either one of those doors could rape or kill us?\" Cait choked, barely able to breathe in such close proximity. Jessica scoffed and looked ahead through the now obviously revealing keyhole in front of her.

\"Nope, too bad,\" Jess murmured and opened wide the left door to a very startled pair of the brightest brown eyes she\'d ever seen. So captivating were they, that she barely noticed the frenetically flickering beady blue ones huddled close to them. My God, but these two were small; Jessica cracked up and practically went into seizures upon the hard, cold stone while Cait looked on in horror, temporarily relieved of her mental affliction.

Whilst Jessica cackled ceaselessly, Flitwick busily dusted himself off; Dobby looked apologetic as always and began whimpering and looking for orders.

\"Please, misses, Dobby was not harming Prof. Flitwick... don\'t tell on Dobby...\" Cait stood stalk still, towring over the little cretin, her eyes nearly popping out of her head at the sight of him. The books hadn\'t done house elves any justice so it seemed, they were far more hideous than every suitably explicated.

Jess, who was beginning to calm down a bit, shrugged and hobbled up to her feet.
\"We won\'t tell on YOU, Dobby... others, however, seem to have taken advge oge of their position over the years though, and that certainly deserves admonishment,\" Jessica spat at Flitwick, scowling the tiny man into a midget sized mania.

\"I knew you two were trouble, from the very first day I said, didn\'t I, Dobby? An America and a Canadian... Hogwarts will be in ruins!\"

\"Oh, shut up, you diminuative shitted git!\" Jess boomed inside the small room, barely larger than a broom shed which seemed appropraite considering the space copulation would take up with these two.

\"First, we want some answers AND reasons as to why we SHOULDN\'T turn you in to the high and mighty all seeing authority that is Dumbledore!\" Cait wouldn\'t participate in blackmail as traditionally Gryffindor as she eviscerated herself to be and instead proceeded to s her her fingers inside her ears as a precautionary measure.

\"I won\'t tell you anything!\" Flitwick squeaked, still frantically trying to do up his trousers. Just then, more footsteps were heard from outside and Jessica\'s prurient prowess sensed a friendly sort - WOODY to the rescue!

\"What is going on in here?\" Wood queried, perplexed and pecks flexing temptingly to Cait. All traces of disgust and racor were erased from her olive complexion and now what remained was only the veiled lust clouding her wanton vision. Jess rolled her eyes and mentally counted to ten before she stran Cai Cait\'s pretty boy.

\"What does it look like - we all think Dobby\'s pregnant, aren\'t you, Dobby?\" Dobby eyes went nearly wide enough for Jess to see the optic nerve through its tattered retina before bursting into heart wrenching sobs, causing Cait to crouch to its side.

\"There there, Dobby. She didn\'t mean it... she\'s just a vendictive cow who enjoys the limited pleasures of sadism.\"
Jessica\'s face turned pensive for a moment while she thought about Dobby\'s reaction.

\"I\'ll be right back,\" and with that, Jess raced back up and down again to the dungeonsretrretrieve a pregnancy test she\'d seen in Cait\'s bag after \"playing\" with Woody after a particularly sweaty game. Before she could make it all the way down to the common room, she was pleasurably intercepted by a very firm Snape who hastefully chided her for runing in the halls.

\"Sorry, Professor, something dreadful\'s happened and I couldn\'t stop myself...\" Jessica\'s eyes batted temptingly and Snape mentally shook himself.

\"What sort of thing, which is still no excuse by the way?\" Jessica looked away sheepishly and had trouble articulating which was a rare occurance as her Woody smitten friend could vouch for.

\"Tell me,\" Snape urged, a little softer than before and kept eye contact with the bouncing girl.

\"I\'d want to speak with Flitwick, sir,\" Jessica murmured before looking away again and down at her feet. Snape\'s death glare set in, making Jess instantly flood her knickers.

\"Oh God,\" she breathed and nearly swooned.

\"Very well, you will have dentention with me tonight as was our last meeting,\" and with that, Snape swept off with a very disorientated Jess standing stupidly, eyes lidded and thighs slowly rubbing together.

\"Dammit, pregnancy!\" Jess nearly shouted, provoking Peeves out of a wall nearby.

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The Bloody Baron wasn\'t surly at all as Andrew would\'ve imagined an over 800 year old ghost would be, but especialy intriguing and knowlegable around the areas just fifty miles from Hogwarts. The faint outline of the castle could be seem amidst a haze of airated pollen, fresh from the dandilions in the giant field where a heap of rubble stood ominously.

Feeling an onerous pressure at his throat, Andrew moved closer to the Baron and asked why they\'d come.

The Baron looked down a little sadly at his imagaically ignorant accomplice and shook his head in sorrow almost inperceptively.

\"This is the last property belonging to the Ravenclaw family for over 1000 years, Andrew-\"

\"Then where are my real parents?\" Andrew\'s voice sounded more desperate than he\'d intended it to and he stood awkwardly, fiddling with his right hand nervously.

\"Dead... as are all the others\',\" the Baron paused and exhaled slowly as he floated closer to the crumbled granite, \"they were forced to take on false surnames in order to not be targeted by the Dark Lord...\"

Andrew\'s eyes clouded unexpectedly and he quickly decided it was not worth crying over. Instead, he followed the Baron\'s invisible steps around the premises, examinaing bits and pieces of the rubble, barely cognizant of his surroundings.

\"So, Voldemort killed my parents?\" Andrew\'s mind reeled as his words sounded so much like Harry Potter\'s in Book One and manically laughed at the ironic turn of events during the past few days; people had even said to him how much he looked like Harry on occasion.

\"Yes...\" the Baron regarded Andrew with a surprisingly harsh calculating glare but then it softened into brash concern, \"and if you\'re wondering about Miss Slytherin\'s, then know that her\'s also experienced the same fate.\"

\"What - but wouldn\'t they serve him?\" the Baron grinned and paced awhile before answering, seeming to deliberate over his choice of words carefully.

\"They did... as spies for the light; they were his first traitors... and his uncle and aunt,\" the Baron shrugged and growled at himself as if disappointed he could only say if bluntly instead of with some of his usual tact. Andrew\'s head sank and he sat on one of the remaining steps, looking up at the sky.

\"She and Snape have more in common than either of them know, don\'t they?\" the Baron\'s lips quirked and he took Andrew\'s hand yet again and apparated them to Hogsmeade where they stood outside the Leaky Couldron. The Baron\'s eyes skipped furtively over the crowd as his form slightly hid behind Harry.

\"I\'m not really supposed to be showing you this, but it seemed as if we both needed a bit of a \'pick-me-up\', eh?\" Andrew smiled as he regarded the famed establishment with interest.

\"You can\'t even drink!\" he chortled as he moved closer to a nearby alleyway, camouflaging the Baron successfully until they reached the shadows.

\"We aren\'t going in; I just wanted to show you where your family invested their savings before Voldemort robbed them blind... this is yours, Andrew.\"

Andrew\'s face lit up excitedly at the thought of owning his own tavern.

\"Of course, you won\'t be able to run it until you\'re out of school and approved to live a normal, magical life, but it is promising, is it not?\" the Barwellwelled at Andrew\'s obvious delight and reminded himself that taking more forbidden excursions would have to be on the intinerary for lessons to come.

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Jessica finally reached her dorm only to remember that she was in the entirely wrong place and was wasting time, probably too late anyway after Cait would save the day and lead them all up to safety, thoroughly ruining her devious cabal.

\"Damn concientious Gryffindor,\" Jess murmured as she took a look around anyway and found a tied envelope on her window sill - OWL!
Grinning broadly, Jess picked up the delicately embossed letter and knew immediately who it was fromle ale and perfect with the blood red contrast upon the seal - it was her other tutor, Lucius!

Doing a brief, yet effective and memorable happy dance, Jessica opened it with a snap of her finger, reminding herself to invest in a decent letter opener and read the fine hand.

Dear Miss Slytherin,

It would please me to end to have to you stay with us for a week prior to the beginning of term as I have much to instruct you upon outside of the curriculum beforehand. Please accompany Draco after your trip into Diagon Alley and bring as many books permitted from Severus; he\'ll know which ones I\'m referring to. Do not feel you\'re under any obligation to know anything you\'ve not yet been taugh the the way of... well, I\'m sure you already know what.

Sincerely, LM.

Doing a far more intricate and drawn out happy dance, Jess clicked her heels together and this time ditched the blue line, blue squiggle idea for a later date. Dashing down the halls at an even faster pace, now hopped on the fact that she would be sleping over at the beacon of her affections for so long, she tripped over a struggling Flitwick, just able to squish his body unnaturally through the narrow entranceway to the underground tunnel.

\"My God, you\'re alive!\" Jess remarked, trying not to sound too enthusiastic, the joy of the letter still boiling through her system.

\"Just barely, no thanks to you, slow poke!\" Cait griped as her head popped through.

\"Aye, not nearly as many people should\'ve been down there all at once, very little oxygen down that deep, no circulation,\" Woody declaimed needlessly as Jessica smirked sardonically.

\"You and I need to have a talk,\" Cait growled warningly while Jessica patted off the last of the accumulated grime from below.

\"No doubt - I have much news, very good in fact... and we have to prescribe Dobby with some sort of prenatal care, wouldn\'t you concur, Daddy?\" Jess asked Flitwick incredulously as he spluttered his protest.

Cait trundled off behind the almost levitating Jess after giving Woody a soft peck on the cheek, back up to Gryffindor Tower.

\"So, give Woody a nice quicky down there?\" Jess queried, already seeing Cait was not in the mood.

\"Shut up... what are you going to do about them... how did you know Dobby was pregnant anyway?\" Cait spoke bitterly, needing more than just a scouring charm this time - in fact, she would never think of them the same way ever again after seeing their soon to be professor for it... so very dirty. So perturbed she was that she made her way to the lavatory while Jessica was walking on sunshine, and reached for the strongest disinfectant she could find.

\"I could see the sparkle of the unborn child in his glistening orbs,\" Jessica breathed and flopped down dreamily atop Cait\'s bed.

\"You\'re remaking that.\"





A/N: My apologies for any spng eng errors that crop up; I would use spell check if my finicky puter wasn\'t averse to them. Please forgive me and thanks so much for reviewing, Jess!