Trial and Error

Own nothing of Harry Potter...just borrowing the characters for entertainment. :-D

This chapter will be a bit different than the others. You\'ll see what I mean.

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~~~Dear Journal,

Well, I\'ve been in America for a whole day now and nothing has happened. Francis has been more than hospitable towards me and I am grateful to him and his wife for letting me stay here. They have two adorable children, only 7 and 9 years old. Bernadette and Aiden were bitten only a year ago. So young to become werewolves. It brings back many painful memories to see their parents crying over it so much. I told them about the potion that Severus and Hermione are trying to create. The kids wanted to owl Hermione. They had no interest in owling Severus...Francis went to Hogwarts the same time he and I did and his kids heard all of the stories about him.

I am so worried about Hermione. What if he gets really angry with her? I don\'t doubt he would jinx her head off if she so much as irritated him a little bit. Poor dear. I wish I had been better at potions. Then it would have been ME she was working with and NOT him. Of course, I would have been too distracted to get any work done... Okay, I admit it. I love her. I, Remus Lupin, LOVE Hermione Granger. Whew. It\'s hard enough writing it in a journal that only I read. How on earth can I let her know?
Wow. It feels good to get that out. Poor Tonks. If only I could tell her. Then maybe she would stop acting like such a little school girl around me. It\'s so hard to act like the adult when I am around her. Hermione, on the other hand, is more of an adult than most witches twice her age! That doesn\'t give me the right to love her, though. She may act mature, but she is still a child. A sweet and untainted child at that. I am surely going to be cast out into the abyss for my impure thoughts about her.

Aiden is begging me for a piggy-back ride--where you hold the kid on your back and run around like a horse....it doesn\'t really make sense to me, either -so I will have to write more later.

Signed, Remus~~~

Remus closed the journal (which was adorned in reatheather and a silver charmed lock), put his quill away, and smiled at Aiden. The boy jumped onto Remus\' back and shouted \"Piggy-back! Piggy-back!\" Remus stood up with the boy andrtedrted running around the room.

\"This isn\'t a \'piggy-back\' ride, Aiden.\"

\"Yeah it is!\"

\"No it\'s not.\"

\"Then what is it?\"

Remus let out a long howl.

\"It\'s a wolfie back ride!!\"

He then ran through the house howling with Aiden laughing and howling too.


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Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, a young bushy-haired woman was pacing the potions lab with her hands clasped behind her back.

\'It\'s been almost 24 hours since he left. Where is he?\'

Hermione had gone for Professor Dumbledore as soon as an hour had passed the night before, but there was nothing either of them could do. They tried a location and condition charm and while it showed that he was still alive, Severus\' location was not given to them. Voldemort knew better than to let someone find him by using a location charm on a death eater.

Hermione had stayed up all night with all sorts of scenarios playing in her mind. Dumbledore had stayed up with her for a while and discussed what may be going on. He reassured her that if Voldemort was upset with him, Severus would have been dead by now. Shortly before 3 am, he had gone back to his office and left Hermione on her own. She had managed to work on the new potion attempt and it nearnear finished. She had no idea if it would work, of course. She needed Severus to determine that. \"Where is he!?\" she screamed at the cauldron bubbling innocently in front of her.

\"Maybe he for forced to commit acts that commenced until late into the following evening and it took him a while to regain his sense of being before he could Apparate back to Hogsmeade.\"

Hermione spun around and gasped; standing at the door was a very disheveled and bloody Severus Snape.

\"Professor Snape! What happened to you? Are you hurt? Why are you all bloody? Did Voldemort find out about you? Do you need to lie down? Did he use Crucio on you? Where were y--\"

Severus interjected.

\"Please, Hermione, calm down before you go into cardiac arrest.\"

She shushed, but her mouth was hanging open.

\"I am not hurt..too badly. This (he gestured to his robes) is not my blood, unfortunately. No, the Dark Lord did not find out that I am a spy. I would like to lie down, but not until after I change out of these robes. Yes, he used Crucio on me, but not for long and only because I hesitated to do what he asked. He did, however, use Imperio on me.\"

Hermione blanched and looked at the blood that was now dripping onto the floor. The urge to bring up the contents of her stomach was getting harder and harder to fight; thankfully, she had not eaten all day because of her worry for him.

He continued. \"I do not know exactly where I was, but I can guess it was somewhere in the US, as most of the....victims....had American accents.\"

He sighed and walked over to a chair and dropped heavily into it. Hermione watched him; her eyes were full of fear and sorrow.

Snape looked up at her and laughed--a dark and joyless laugh.

\"What did you expect? When the Dark Lord has a dirty idea in his mind, he will not rest until the idea is played out. He would have been more than glad to add me to the list of ims ims had I flatly refused to be a part of it. Instead, he saw my hesitation, punished me and then forced me to carry out his plans. He remembered that I was never one to jump at the chance to cause blood and fear among fellow humans--wizard or not.\"

He saw Hermione\'s eyebrows arch in question.

\"You were right. I never did take pleasure in those things and I never will.\"

Hermione wanted more than anything to question him about how he could withstand all of that torment, but knew that he never talked this much to anyone other than Dumbledore and wanted to let him continue.

As if he could read her mind, Snape said; \"Professor Dumbledore told me that you were in a right state last night. For that, I apologise.\"

Hermione jumped. \'An apology? from Snape??\'

\"I..it\'s okay. I\'m...just glad you\'re back,\" she squeaked.

Now it was Severus\' turn to raise his eyebrows. \'She can\'t be serious,\' he thought.

\"I would have thought you would be happy I was gone so you could have time to yourself without me hovering around you all the time. Did you get anything accomplished with the potions?\"

\"How could I be happy knowing that at any moment, Voldemort could have you in the clutches of death?\"

Snape flinched slightly; he was still uncomfortable with hearing his old master\'s name. Before he could say anything, Hermione started talking again.

\"We should get you out of those dirty robes, Professor. It isn\'t very hygienic.\"

He simply stared at her as she came to him and hooked her arm under his and helped him into a standing position. Wordlessly, he followed her into his chambers and sat on the bed when she motioned for him to do so.

Hermione went to his bureau and rummaged around until she found a pair of green silk pajamas. she knew she was on dangerous ground to be going through his personal items right in front of him, but he was in no state to dress himself. She turned and walked back to where he sat with the silk in her hands.
\'Silk...Professor Snape wears SILK!\' she thought wildly to herself. \'Wait \'til I tell Harry! On second thought, he would wonder how I knew....better keep it secret.\'

Snape reached for the pjs rather awkwardly. \'Why is she being so nice to me? And why was she so worried last night?\' he fought to keel his thoughts from straying to a possible attraction. \'Yeah, right. Hermione is attracted to me and Potter is my favourite person on earth!\' he let out a harsh laugh.

\"What is it, Professor?\"

He recovered from his laugh, shook his head and took his wand from his pocket.

\"Nothing!\" he said bitterly and then cast a charm that put the pjs on him and the soiled robes into the hamper at the end of his bed. A house elf appeared with a small pop, grabbed the hamper, and vanished with another pop.

\"Miss Granger, if there is nothing else, I would lto gto get some rest.\"

Hermione nodded.

\"Okay Professor. Is there anything you need before I leave?\"

Snape looked at her for several moments, the silence threatening to strangle both of them. Then, without warning, tears welled up in Snape\'s eyes and he let out a quiet sob. He knew he should have made her leave sooner. It would not do well for her to see him like this; he felt frail and pathetic, but he never had been able to murder innocent people and not feel horrible afterwards. Did that make him a weak person?

Hermione stood rooted to the spot. Professor Snape was crying. She didn\'t know he had tear ducts in his eyes, much less that they were ever used. Finally, her maternal instinct took over and she rushed to his side. Snape tried to push her away.

\"Leave! Get out!!\"

\"No! You can\'t be alone if you are like this. If I leave, it will only be to notify Professor Dumbledore of your condition.\"

Snape choked back another sob and looked into her brown eyes with his damp black ones. Without preamble, he pulled her face to his and pressed his lips hungrily against hers. He wrapped his other hand around her waist and brought her down to the bed, not breaking the kiss.

Hermione was frozen with shock and fear. \'What is he doing and what if he tries to go further? I am not strong enough to hold him back.\' With that thought, Hermione started pushing him away. he did not let go of her. Instead, he deepened his kiss and tried to pry her lips apart with his tongue.

\"Nooooooooo!!!!!\" Hermione screamed through his lips. She balled her hand into a fist and hit him as hard as she could in the stomach. Snape released her, and when he saw the look on her face, his eyes opened wide in horror.

\"Merlin, what have I done?!\"

Hermione leapt from the bed and ran as fast as she could to the door.
Snape stared wide-eyed at the woman who was now fleeing from his room in terror and cursed himself for his actions.

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A/N

Thank you to everyone who is reviewing! It means soooo much to me! ::passes out hugs and kisses::