Help me Ron

Hogwarts letters came two weeks later, and Molly was preparing to take them to Diagon Alley, where they would meet up with Pansy‘s parents. They made plans to have lunch after robe fittings and getting supplies. Her parents wanted to treat them to a fine Italian café they frequented.



Pansy had made no mention of the night at the cliffs. He had picked her up and carried her back to his home. She was calmer by then, having cried out her soul on his shoulder. He put her to bed and then went to his own room. He thought about writing to the mental healer but decided against it. What happened was Pansy’s business, and he decided not to mention it unless she did.



“Ron?” He raised his eyes from his shoelaces to the door. She was dressed and ready, in jeans and a jumper. Her hands were in her pockets and her feet turned in slightly. “Do you have a minute?”



“Sure.” He said, finishing his shoe. “What is it?”



She entered and shut the door. “I wanted to talk to you about that night. When you found me by the cliff.”



“Alright then?” He said, letting her lead.



“What you said about him wanting to break me down, was true. I thought about it over and over, and he only turned violent when I made it clear he would not succeed. It was about power and I didn’t realize it.” She said.



“Well, I can’t blame you for not wanting to think about it.” He said.



“You said I was strong though.” She told him. “I didn’t feel strong at the moment.”



“I know you didn’t. You needed someone to tell you that it wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t.” He said. “This is all his fault and none other. He has no other way to act but through violence.”



“I don’t know if it will ever go away though.” She said in that low voice again.



“I probably won’t but you can control how you react. You can take over your life and not the other way around.”



“I’m not strong enough for that.” She countered.



“Yes you are.” He moved from one end of his bed to the other, sitting closer to her. “Pansy you are a woman, and everyone knows women are stronger then men.” She let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. “It’s true.”



“You make yourself sound like a weakling.” She said.



“I would rather run headfirst into a dragon anus then go through what you went through. I wouldn’t be able to handle that.” He said.



She laughed at his description. “Well, lets hope there are no dragoons at Diagon Alley.”



“There haven’t been any sightings so far.” He said, kicking a Daily Prophet out of the way.



“Try the Quibbler, they may have a report.” She said with a laugh. She quieted down and looked over at him. “Thank you Ron.”



“Your welcome Pansy.” He said.



She left his room and Ron felt the urge to soar to the skies. He had done it. He wondered since that night if anything he had said made a difference and now he knew it had. She had taken this long to think about his words and it had helped her. He had actually helped her.



He stood and walked to his mirror giving his reflection a wink before heading downstairs.





Diagon Alley was relatively empty, the crowds would be out in a few days. Harry and Hermione wouldn’t be arriving until the next month. Mrs. Weasley would be taking them to Diagon Alley then. She wanted to get Ron and Ginny set first.



They found Mr. and Mrs. Parkinson right away, and Ron smiled as Pansy ran to her mother for a hug. Her father got one as well, while her mother went on and on about how great she looked, then she gushed over how Ron must be a wonderful help to her.



Molly managed to divert attention from her blushing son by suggesting they get new robes first. They filled a few hours with fittings then hunting for books. Molly picked up Harry’s and Hermione’s basic books as well, so Hermione would only have to grab what she was taking for extra classes.



They were seated at a cozy table and had ordered lunch. The conversation between the parents dominated with discussions on the Ministry of Magic and several new raids and incidents. Ron, Pansy and Ginny however were leafing through a new quidditch magazine and going over the league stats.



As they prepared to leave for home, Mrs. Parkinson took the opportunity to speak to Ron while Pansy and Ginny went to the loo.



“Ron, I can’t thank you enough. Pansy looks wonderful.” Her mother said and Ron could see the waterworks starting.



“Looks are one thing Mrs. Parkinson and to be honest, they don’t matter.” Ron knew that watering anything down would make it harder in the long run. ‘Pansy still has trouble sleeping and physical contact is still difficult.”



“But she’s getting better?” Her mother asked hopefully. At least in this Ron was able to be truthful.



“Yes, she is getting better.” He said and was engulfed in a hug. This woman sure wasn’t shy with the affection.



The weeks passed on and Pansy and Ron settled into a routine. They helped out with chores on certain days of the week, took walks after dinner and talked. Pansy was becoming more and more open with how she felt. She had yet to touch him or anyone else in the house on her own though. It was true that she flung herself at him when she had nightmares, but panic had set in and she had no control. She wasn’t making a conscience decision to make contact with him and that worried Ron to now end.



What would she do when it came time to go back to Hogwarts, avoid her friends? She would have to deal with it sooner or later, and he hoped their talking was helping.



“Harry and Hermione are going to be here next week.” He told her as they made sandwiches for lunch. They were going to take them to the lake to relax.



“Is my being here going to be a problem?” She asked. “I mean, I took a spare room.”



“There were seven kids here at one point you know.” He said chuckling. “Harry and take Fred and Georges old room and Hermione can have Bills.” Don’t worry about it.”



They took their sandwiches and ever filling water bottles and walked out to the lake, sitting under a hug tree. Ron had developed a habit of sitting first and then letting her chose how close to him she wanted to be. Today she sat right next to him. She still wasn’t close enough to touch him, but she was next to him instead of across from him.



They ate in silence, watching the animals in the lake frolic about. Pansy remained quiet, but this happened a lot. He had a feeling that she often passed the summer at home just staring off into nature. It did have a calming effect, he had to admit.



They stayed for what must have been an hour, neither saying a word. They reached for the same goblet and their hands touched. Ron froze. Their pinkies were brushing but she hadn’t moved away. He wouldn’t move unless she did.



Pansy was looking down at her hand next to his. For several long moments, she did nothing then slowly turned her hand and closed her fingers around his hand. Ron turned his hand palm up for her, making sure she had control. He watched and she changed her grip, squeezing his hand tightly and at other times barely touching him.



She was testing him, he knew it. She wanted to know if he would try and take the upper hand. If he was still safe. He would show her he was. He stayed still, and let her touch him.



Pansy brought his hand over her lap, and held it in both of hers. She turned it this way and that, feeling the warmth from his palm and the rough skin of his fingers. When she loosened her grip, he loosened his. When she tightened her grip he let her, without squeezing down. He was letting her have her way.



She looked over at him, and saw his eyes. There was no threat there. Not with Ron. He saved her. He wouldn’t hurt her. She looked down at his hand in hers and thought how nice it was to touch him. This was how it felt to be safe. This was what she wanted back in her life. To be able to be with her friends and touch her friends without feeling scared. She would have that life back again, even if it killed her getting back to that point.