Pains and Contradictions

Warning for this chapter: There will be some mention of torture in this chapter. Nothing overly graphic but if the mere mention of blood disturbs you, you may want to skip the second break in this chapter.



A/N Thank you to all who reviewed especially SickPuppy and Jillane whose reviews have been both lovely and inspirational.





"A million faces at my feet but all I see are dark eyes" ---- Bob Dylan





Harry Potter awoke with a start, scrambling to get the covers off from around his legs without falling out of bed.



Snape was being tortured. Malfoy was going to kill him. No, even worse. He was going to play with him until there was hardly anything left. Harry had seen the state the man was in and knew that Voldemort had must have taken his wand. And the man could hardly stand, there was no way he could physically defend himself.



Alright, Harry thought, still scrambling to get up. First, he needed to figure out where the professor was. The room in the vision had been familiar. There had been a chandelier and he knew that if the floors had been polished he could have seen his reflection.



Malfoy Manor wouldn\'t be in that state of disrepair. Narcissa Malfoy still lived there and she\'d rather die than have her house fall to shambles. If any of the other Death Eaters had grand manor homes, they wouldn\'t be falling apart either. The only other place they could be gripped Harry\'s senses like a vice... Riddle Manor.



Steeling himself to go back to that place he so often revisited in nightmares, Harry pulled on some pants and struggled into his trainers. He grabbed his wand and readied himself to apparate when suddenly a thought occurred to him.



Wait.



Oh....Gods, how he could he be so stupid?! What if Voldemort was planting another vision in his mind, this time with Snape? He could almost hear Hermione\'s voice telling him to be cautious. Harry was still an absolutely horrible Occlumens and after the day he had experienced, he knew that he was not in a clear state of mind.



Malfoy would have told Voldemort that Snape had saved his life. Voldemort knowing Harry\'s \'saving people thing,\' knew he\'d run off to try to rescue someone who didn\'t need to be rescued.



Again.



Alright. No rushing in head first this time, Harry thought. He needed to think this through. He had tried to make sure that what he was seeing was true last time. But last time he had almost wanted it to be true. He was so sure that Sirius was in grave danger that he believed the words of a disgruntled and barely sane house elf with a grudge. He needed a better source this time.



So where did that leave him?



Dumbledore. He could trust the Headmaster in this at least. A man\'s life was at stake. He would know if Snape had attended a Death Easter meeting or if he was still within the castle wards.



Wait. Did Snape even return to Hogwarts after he had left Privet Drive? Did he live at Hogwarts during the break? Maybe he had gone to his own home now that the students were gone. The man could be anywhere. Harry growled in frustration. There was nothing he could do but contact the Headmaster and hope he knew Snape\'s whereabouts.



Hedwig was still on her errand and there was no way to phone so that left...



Mrs. Figg.



All of Harry\'s inner thoughts took only a moment. He was at his door when he belatedly remembered to pull out his invisibility cloak. If Snape were in trouble...



He had to get to Mrs. Figg\'s house. It was the only way to know for certain. Harry would not rush off again to meet Voldemort and force other people to rescue him if this was a trap.



Harry was even more grateful to Snape when his door opened for him, revealing that the Dursleys had not locked him in that night. He wouldn\'t have to use magic to get out. He took the stairs three at a time and threw open the front door, running like the devil was chasing him to Mrs. Figg\'s house.



He banged on the door violently with his fist calling out over and over for Mrs. Figg. Finally a light went on and the squib opened the door slightly to see who was disturbing her in the middle of the night.



"Harry? My God, boy, what\'s happened?" she opened her door completely noticing immediately how flushed and out of breath the boy before her looked.



"Let me in, please, Mrs. Figg, I need to use your floo. Something\'s happening."



Immediately she let Harry in and he rushed to the fireplace in her living room.



With the fire already lit, she went to the mantle and held out a small container that contained floo powder. Harry took some in his hands and tossing it in the fireplace, cried out, "Headmaster\'s office, Hogwarts!"



Kneeling down into the floo, Harry began to cry out for the Headmaster. A moment later, Dumbledore appeared in what seemed to be a purple dressing robe with stars shooting across the hem. Noticing Harry, his face became stern and he walked quickly to his fireplace.



"Harry? What\'s happened? Are you alright?"



"Headmaster, do you know where Professor Snape is? Did he return to Hogwarts? Is he there?"



Dumbledore\'s eyes darkened and his face went pale. "No, Harry. He was here but I\'m afraid he had to run an errand."



Oh, Gods.



It was all real then. Harry had been witness to Snape\'s torture. He really had seen the man on his knees before Voldemort. Somehow Harry wished that he hadn\'t seen that. Just like he didn\'t want Snape to be witness to his relatives\' behavior, he knew Snape wouldn\'t want Harry to see him being tortured and humiliated. In Harry\'s mind though, the man just became all that more human.



In that moment, while on his knees in Mrs. Figg\'s house talking to the man who had so long influenced his life, something that felt like a lifting of a fog that he didn\'t even know was there occurred. He had heard about epiphanies. The rare moments in a person\'s life where time seemed to slow down and everything around them seemed to become clear.



Harry saw everything very plainly in that moment. It all just seemed to flow together perfectly. He could see himself in the Headmaster\'s eyes. Every trial that he\'d gone through, every time he\'d rushed blindly into danger, hoping that things would just work out came to him. Every time he knew the Headmaster covered up his adventures was brought to the forefront of his mind.



Harry knew from the Headmaster that Voldemort had been meeting with his Death Eaters many times all year but he had never bore witness to any of them. How many times must Voldemort have cast the Cruciatus curse on people just for entertainment value? How many people must he have killed in secret that Harry had not once seen because the evil bastard was occluding his mind towards him?



Why had he seen just this one vision?



And in a split second, so many things about Harry\'s life seemed to make sense.



Learning the Patronus Charm at thirteen, competing in a magical competition when he was three years too young, facing off with fully trained Death Eaters....



All of it was leading up to Voldemort, he knew. But that didn\'t mean it wasn\'t leading up to this first.



Why this vision? Why did he witness this specific torture when Voldemort clearly didn\'t want him to? Why this night, of all nights, right after his best friend died and his most hated teacher had bared his soul to him?



Severus Snape had saved his life today. It was Fate that Harry return the favor. It was Fate that he saw this meeting, this torture, of all the possible meetings he could have seen.



If only, if only, if only, if only. But a man can only question himself so many times before he has to take action.



He knew that regardless of Voldemort\'s orders, Snape would either die that night or lose his mind. There was no way a megalomanic like Lucius Malfoy and a complete psychopath like Bellatrix Lestrange wouldn\'t take every advantage Voldemort had given them. Harry had heard the jeers and taunts of both of them towards Snape yesterday on the platform. If he left Snape there at the manor, there\'d be nothing left to save.



Harry\'s eyes went wide in the floo and his mouth opened in an audible exhale of a breath he wasn\'t aware he had been holding. Suddenly it became crystal clear what he was meant to do.



Only seconds had passed but Dumbledore knew something important had just happened. He\'d been witness to enough moments of truth like this in his life to know that something had changed. The insecure child that had been in his floo a moment ago was gone. Harry had always been brave and though he had sanctioned his adventures, he knew the boy was also reckless, rushing head first into danger like his godfather.



But in a moment something had changed in Harry\'s eyes. The frantic fear that had been there was replaced with a look of understanding and acceptance. Dumbledore knew in that moment what Harry meant to do.



"He\'s at Riddle Manor. They\'re going to kill him," Harry said mechanically. "I\'m going after him. Call the Order but don\'t go in unless I give a signal. I\'m going to try for a side along apparition with my invisibility cloak."



Dumbledore knew that it was useless to protest, but still he tried, "Harry, let the Order handle this...."



"There\'s no time. I\'ll find a way to let you know if I need help."



"Harry, one thing."



He stopped himself from leaving the floo to listen. "When you remove Severus from Riddle Manor, apparate to the outskirts of Hogsmeade. I\'ll have someone waiting for you there with a portkey to the infirmary. It will be someone you trust."



Harry nodded and reassured the Professor that he would call for help if he needed it. But they both knew that if he was discovered, there was no way he\'d have time to give an alarm.



Harry knew where Riddle Manor was instinctively. The location of the graveyard of the Riddle family was etched into his mind. Standing up from the fireplace, he threw his invisibility cloak over his head, grabbed his wand and apparated.



*************



Severus Snape was vaguely aware of his surroundings as Lucius Malfoy approached him, drawing his wand. He heard a very faint whisper, "Father, no."



He was mildly amused that Draco would dare stand up to his father on his behalf. He may have even been grateful for a moment if he thought Draco\'s sentiment would benefit him in any way. The idea that his obnoxious student would suddenly grow a backbone was laughable. He already knew the outcome of the halfhearted plea.



"Enough, Draco," Lucius whispered but his voice was stern, "I\'ve allowed this twisted perversion of yours to go on long enough. Whatever idea you have regarding this," Lucius looked down on Snape with a twisted face, "... man, you will end it now. You will not shame our family in front of the Dark Lord!"



As Snape predicted, Draco immediately backed off, his head down and his eyes shamed. Apparently Draco had been taught the pureblood\'s method of looking at homosexuality. It was a shame that Lucius was doing this to his own son but Snape didn\'t really have room to pity spineless heirs to grand fortunes at the moment.



Snape chanced a glance around him. The Dark Lord was perched on his throne, surveying the scene the way a general would view his armies about to descend upon a small village filled with women and children and puppies. Victory was nigh.



His view of the Dark Lord was cut off as the Death Eaters surrounded him, faces leering at him maliciously. He knew that for many of them this had been a long time in coming. There were people that had viewed him suspiciously since he had failed to respond to the Dark Lord\'s summons in the graveyard two years ago.



Of course, people like Bellatrix hated him because he had escaped justice at the hands of the Aurors and hid himself in Dumbledore\'s refuge while she gladly went to Azkaban to suffer in the name of her Lord.



Lucius simply loathed him. He hated that he was the one who had first seen the inherent talent in Snape for what it was. He hated that he had introduced Snape to the Dark Lord where he was immediately recognized for his great potions talent. He hated that there was a time when no one courted the favor of the Dark Lord the way Snape did. He hated that Snape had a valuable position as a spy while Lucius had to remain hidden away like the fugitive he was.



Snape could understand this. He could almost respect it. He was, after all, the better man.



"Dear, Severus," Malfoy looked down his nose at him, "so it\'s finally come to this. Despite what you may think, old friend, this brings no joy to my heart. You\'ve always been such a dear friend; always looking out for Draco. For Merlin\'s sake, we knew each other when we were boys...



"If it meets with your approval, Lucius," Snape paused to spit blood out of his mouth, "I\'d rather not take a walk down memory lane with you. It\'s littered with too many corpses of greater men than you could ever hope to be. We wouldn\'t want Draco knowing what a coward you are."



Malfoy gave a twisted smirk, "You always were a sick twisted little fuck but it\'s been so long since I\'ve seen you really enjoy the exhilaration of the kill. How long has it been since you heard someone scream until their voice left them or heard a woman beg for the life of her child? You\'ve gone soft, Severus. We\'ll have to remedy that.



"It\'s been so long I wonder, how should we begin? There are so many spells to choose from," Lucius walked dramatically around him in a circle, his robes flowing around him like water. "You know the Malfoy family library is very extensive and I\'ve longed to try out so many curses. But I think we should start with an old familiar friend. That clever little thing you were so proud to show me all those years ago. Sectumsempra." Snape could feel a large, deep cut on his chin and across his cheek where blood began to flow.



Snape wanted to say something foul to Malfoy but it felt like his jaw was unhinged.



"Now, Lucius, don\'t be greedy. I\'ve waited a long time for this," Bellatrix Lestrange in all her glorious insanity came forward towards him. "While I was rotting in Azkaban, refusing to disavow the name of our Lord, you were spilling secrets and telling lies to anyone who would listen!" Snape expected a curse to come but was surprised when Bellatrix bent down and lifted up her robes. He shuddered when he saw her reveal the flesh of her leg. Though she revealed nothing too unsavory, he still had no desire to view an inch of her more than necessary. A glint of reflected light caught his attention, however, and he looked over to where she was removing a large, sharp dagger from its sheath.



"You\'ve been living with that muggle loving fool for too long, Snape. Why don\'t we try this the muggle way first," and with that she picked up Snape\'s hand and pushed the blade into a pressure point.



Snape struggled not to cry out as the knife pinched the softest part of his hand and succeeded. He had endured torture more horrible than this and he knew it would be infinitesimally worse before the night was over.



However, Snape had forgotten momentarily that Bellatrix was completely insane. That she had taken such pleasure in her work of torture for the Dark Lord that she knew which nerve endings would cause Snape the most pain. Bending down low, Bellatrix took the blade and cut his pant leg down the middle and sliced at the flesh below his knee hitting some nerve that Snape didn\'t even know existed.



Still, he didn\'t cry out. She past the blade all along his leg, shallowly it seemed, but Snape could still feel the artistry of her blade. He was in immense pain but wasn\'t bleeding enough to lose consciousness. If she kept this up, he could be awake for hours.



She seemed to grow tired of that leg and moved up to rip open first his robes then that heavy jacket, then the white shirt, filthy from the events of the previous day. Taking her time, she finally reached the smooth, firm chest that was already littered with too many scars.



"Our Severus isn\'t much to look at, is he, Lucius?" Bellatrix\'s voice seemed low but exhilarated.



"No, he\'s not. Is he, Draco?" Lucius turned to look at his son who had long since turned green but did not look away.



"No, father he\'s not." Lucius smirked at his response.



Bellatrix began again making cuts, always over some minute piece of flesh that he had no idea could cause as much pain as it did. Then she dug the blade into his shoulder right into the bone and for the first time, Snape screamed.



"Well done, Bellatrix. It takes a true artist to break our Severus. He\'s so very proud of his control," Voldemort said from his throne.



"You\'ve had your fun with the muggle toy. Lucius, I want to see him burn," Voldemort ordered from his throne.



"Your will is my command, my Lord. Incendio Corpus Corporis."



The scream that was torn from Snape\'s mouth seemed almost inhuman.



*********************



Harry apparated into the Riddle Graveyard right next to the tombstone of Tom Riddle, Sir. He wanted to pause and look around, this place having been a part of his nightmares for so long but he knew he didn\'t have any time to waste. Snape could even be dead by now.



Still hidden under his invisibility cloak, he ran the lengthy path from the graveyard up onto the main house. The yard in front of him was expansive and Harry ran quickly through it. He recalled in the dream that there were no windows in the room he was looking for so he would need to enter the house and search for where they were holding Snape.



He was more than surprised that there had been no wards surrounding Riddle Manor. If he was Voldemort, he would have fortified the place like armies were preparing to wage war against it.



Which, come to think of it, wasn\'t entirely untrue.



But nothing stopped him from approaching the front door. As he turned the doorknob in his hand he was shocked to find that it wasn\'t even locked the muggle way.



He slowly opened the door and then quickly went inside and closed it. The entryway was enormous with long glass windows that stretched two stories high. Its vastness was only made more conspicuous by the fact that it was entirely bare. Some relative of the Riddles must have taken all their possessions after they were murdered by Voldemort.



Harry walked deeper into the house and listened intently. Walking along a side hallway, he could hear the sounds of someone crying bloody murder and smaller voices laughing and taunting. Quickly, he walked in the direction of the indecent screams.



Approaching an open doorway, his scar began to ache. He fought to steady himself on his feet. He only prayed that Voldemort couldn\'t tell that he was here as well. He tried to remember Snape\'s lessons, he tried to block his mind from the pain so hopefully Voldemort wouldn\'t notice him.



"Potter."



It was only word but spoken by Voldemort meant all the cries and jeers coming from inside ceased and only the sound of the bestial screaming was heard.



Harry held onto his wand, a curse on his lips and steadied himself on his feet. It didn\'t matter that they knew he was here. He had to save Snape from this fate. And he would have to do this very quickly.



Ignoring the pain, he made his steps as light as he could and walked into the room. Voldemort was sitting on the throne he had seen in his vision looking scaly and reptilian as ever. His red eyes were darting all over the room, looking, he supposed, for Harry.



"Potter is here."



"Where, my Lord? And how did he get past the wards?" Dolohov asked.



Voldemort sneered, "I\'m not sure where but I know he\'s close. He\'s here to rescue you then, Severus? Well, perhaps you were right and he has grown fond of you, indeed. How fortunate for us. Perhaps we can proceed with our plans from today after all."



But as Harry drew nearer to Snape, he realized there was no way the man could have heard Voldemort. His face was contorted in ways Harry had never seen. His hands were clawing at his body and he had turned in on himself as though he was being beaten by the entire gathering of Death Eaters.



As the Death Eaters drew away from Snape, Harry moved in. All he would need is to touch him, he thought.



He prayed that if there were wards around Riddle Manor, they would allow him to apparate. Seeing Snape up close was something awful. There was blood pouring out of his chin and cheek and there were tiny slices all over his chest and leg. He noticed a gapping hole in Snape\'s shoulder. His robes had been torn away and it left the man looking so much thinner and more vulnerable than he did in all those layers he wore.



Slowly, Harry kneeled down right next to the man. What he saw took his breath away.



Snape was crying. He was *crying*.



Gods, the stoic Potions Master had tears streaming down his face. The desire to destroy Voldemort and Malfoy multiplied tenfold. How badly must the man in front of him be suffering if he was actually crying. Yesterday Harry would have doubted the man was even capable of it.



Slowly, Harry kneeled in front of the Snape, still thrashing and screaming at the top of his lungs. Looking around quickly, he saw that most of the Death Eaters had left the room, no doubt searching the nearby halls for him. Bellatrix was the only one who remained.



Harry knew that he\'d need to have physical contact with Snape in order to apparate. He\'d have to expose at least a part of his hand in front of Voldemort and Bellatrix. Harry kneeled over Snape until he was almost on top of him.



In that moment, the Potions Master opened his eyes. Snape\'s dark eyes were bloodshot and disoriented, tears still pouring. Harry knew that Snape wouldn\'t have been able to see him even if he was in his right mind, but that look seemed to go straight through his soul.



Voldemort was saying something to Bellatrix. He had his head turned away from them. Harry knew that this was his chance.



He removed his hand from his invisibility cloak and grabbed Snape\'s hand. The Potions Master\'s cries doubled at the pain from that one simple touch.



Bellatrix looked over towards them. Harry distinctly heard her say, "Master, there!" and saw a red spell light before he apparated with Snape with him.