Harry...er...ette

Thank you to all my lovely reviewers, I appreciate all your ideas and thoughts, even if you think you're just rambling :D I'm not sure if Harry will experience the full unpleasantness of a period, but I thought it would be funny if he thought he might. Enjoy!


Harry climbed through the portrait hole, angrily wiping a tear. He began tiptoeing guiltily towards the girl's dormitory, wondering if he should tell Hermione what had happened or not.
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” Harry spun around to see Hermione jump out of an armchair, hair wild, eyes bloodshot.
“I...I was out.” Harry blushed, unable to look Hermione in the face.
“Lavender said something about Malfoy, he didn't do anything...mean to you did he?” Harry was shocked and glanced up into Hermione's eyes. The anger had vanished and they were filled with sympathy.
“I don't know what happened... he seemed so nice, and somehow that little voice of reason in my head got blocked out.” Harry shook his head, tears trailing his cheeks.
“Oh Harry,” Hermione rushed over and put her arms around him, “I should have told you! I just thought that your dislike of Malfoy would easily cancel out his charm. Harry, I'm so sorry... I didn't think being a girl would make you think so differently.” She looked down, overwhelmed by the enormity of Harry's predicament.
“I don't know what I'm going to do when I see him next, what if he tells everyone?” Harry buried his head in his hands at the thought. Hermione looked at him, mouth open.
“You didn't actually....sleep with him...did you?” Harry nodded sadly.
“It was terrible, no fun at all, when I'm a guy again I swear I'm going to be better than that.” Hermione laughed before her face fell again.
“Oh god Harry... I don't know how we're going to handle this. I can't believe we've gotten this far.” She looked on the brink of tears, and Harry felt a rush of gratitude towards her and her compassion.
“There's nothing more we can do tonight, let's just go to bed.” Hermione smiled sadly and led the way up the spiral staircase.

Hermione squeezed Harry's hand as they stood at the doors to the Great Hall.
“You'll be fine, you've gone through worse.”
“Not as a girl.” Hermione laughed, and Harry tried to suppress the tears that seemed to be randomly welling up in his throat as a matter of course.
“No-one knows who you really are, anyway.” She smiled reassuringly at him.
“I know, but I just feel so...precious recently. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears or punch someone almost all the time.” Hermione gasped, and Harry looked at her quizically.
“Harry... oh my god, I didn't think of it, but maybe, gosh i hope not.” Hermione bit her lip and flushed a little.
“Spit it out Hermione!” Harry was hungry, and was sick and tired of dramatics. Hermione wheeled around and pulled Harry towards the girl's bathroom.
“Look, I hope I'm wrong, but it seems you might actually...well...it might be almost your time of the month.” Harry stopped sharply, and stared at her, speechless.
“No.” Harry shook his head defiantly.
“I'm afraid you don't really have a choice in the matter,” she said testily, “just come in here and put a liner in your underpants, that way you're safe.” Harry just stared at her in disbelief as she pulled a small purple square out of her bag and shoved it in his hand.
“What do I do with it?” He held it by the tip like something distasteful.
“Harry! It's not hard, just unwrap it and you'll see how it fits.” She looked half embarrassed, half frustrated. Harry sat gingerly down on the toilet with his skirt around his ankles and un peeled the little thing. He saw it was the same shape as the middle part of his underwear and clumsily pressed it down.
“Um...done.” He pulled up his skirt and walked out, handing Hermione the wrapper.
“Thanks.” She rolled her eyes and dropped it in the bin. Harry washed his hands and they finally walked into the Great Hall.


The chatter escalated exponentially as Harry walked through to the Gryffindor table, and it took all his self control to hold his head high and not run out crying. He sat down and ignored Lavender and Parvatis' unsubtle hints to tell them exactly what had happened. He refused to be baited by the occasional bouts of laughter coming from the other side of the room, and had to force himself not to look for Malfoy, because even though he hated him and felt hurt and stupid, he still felt his stomach stir at the thought of his beautiful eyes and silky hair.
“Come on Harry,” Hermione put her arm around his shoulders gently, “you look like you're being tortured, professor Binns won't mind if we're early.” Harry nodded glumly and followed her out of the Great Hall, suppressing tears. They made it through double History of magic and even charms quite easily, their cover story fitting nicely. They even sat through the whole of transfiguration without a single suspicious glance from professor McGonnagol, and were packing up sneaking triumphant grins at each other.
“Hermione, could you stay behind and talk to me please...with your cousin.”