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Wizards, Werewolves and Killer Beagles. Oh My!
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Harry Potter Crossovers › General - Misc
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,842
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter Crossovers › General - Misc
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,842
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
Not Mine! Don't Sue!
Chapter 5
Here’s chapter five. Big cosmic Huggles to all my reviewers. And the patent pending Pout of Doom to all those who didn’t bother their backsides. You know who you are!!
Chapter 5
Number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging was a very ordinary, everyday house on a very ordinary, everyday street. The family that lived there appeared to be ordinary, everyday people. But the nephew was most decidedly neither ordinary nor everyday. And Harry James Potter was about to have a birthday that was the least ordinary, everyday birthday of his life so far.
He was doing his usual. Spending as much of his day in his room as possible. Both he and the Dursleys in competition to see who could last the longest without acknowledging the other’s existence. Harry lay on his bed, basking in the sunlight coming through the window, and munching on a piece of birthday cake the Mrs. Weasley had sent him. He hummed tunelessly as he watched the dust motes dance through heavy lidded eyes.
His ears perked up as a brisk knock sounded from the front door. Who would visit the Dursleys?
Willingly?
He strained to hear as Uncle Vernon’s heavy footsteps made their way from the living room to the door.
“Yeah?” Vernon’s gruff voice travelled easily up the stairs and through the walls of Harry’s room. “Wadda yer want?”
Unfortunately for Harry whoever was at the door was a good deal softer of speech than Vernon and all he could hear was a muted mumbling.
“There’s no Potter here. Off with you!”
Mumble mumble mum.
“Get yer foot out of my door. There’s no Potter here, I say! An’ we don’t want none of your freakish lot around here neither!”
Harry grabbed his wand and made his way to the door listening intently. Vernon only got this upset when it was something to do with the Wizarding World. Harry knew it couldn’t be his friends; he had got nothing but terse notes on his birthday. He doubted any of them cared enough to come visit.
SLAM
Sounded like Vernon had gotten rid of whoever it was then.
“Good riddance. BOY! Get down here! What did I tell you bringing your freakishness to this house? After all-“
SMASHBANG
Harry gripped his wand tightly and raced for the stairs. It must be an attack! He raised his wand as he thundered down the stairs, but the words of the hex died on his lips.
Vernon lay prone underneath his own front door which appeared to have been blasted off its hinges. Out of the corner of his eye he saw…Draco Malfoy? With his wand trained on Petunia and Dudley who cowered in the living room. And standing on the now horizontal door with a wicked looking sword pointed at Vernon’s throat was…a girl Harry?
Harry blinked rapidly at the surreal tableau, grasping for a way to save both himself and his relatives. He began to raise his wand again when She-Harry spoke.
“I tried to be nice. I REALLY did! But some people just don’t know what is good for them! Now, I’ll say again: you fat waste of skin, we’re here to pick-up Harry Potter. Tell us where he is, you-single-greatest-argument-against-human-cloning or so help me I’ll cut off that Bobotuber sapling masquerading as your cock, peel it and feed it to you!”
Harry vaguely noted Draco mirror his own wince at that…colourful threat. She-Harry spoke again, this time punctuating each word with a bounce on the door causing Vernon to squeal like a pig as his girth was pressed into the floor.
“Where.” Squee
“Is.” Squee
“My.” Squee
“NEPHEW?!?!” Squee
There was a full five seconds of silence.
“I have an Aunt?”
Chapter 5
Number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging was a very ordinary, everyday house on a very ordinary, everyday street. The family that lived there appeared to be ordinary, everyday people. But the nephew was most decidedly neither ordinary nor everyday. And Harry James Potter was about to have a birthday that was the least ordinary, everyday birthday of his life so far.
He was doing his usual. Spending as much of his day in his room as possible. Both he and the Dursleys in competition to see who could last the longest without acknowledging the other’s existence. Harry lay on his bed, basking in the sunlight coming through the window, and munching on a piece of birthday cake the Mrs. Weasley had sent him. He hummed tunelessly as he watched the dust motes dance through heavy lidded eyes.
His ears perked up as a brisk knock sounded from the front door. Who would visit the Dursleys?
Willingly?
He strained to hear as Uncle Vernon’s heavy footsteps made their way from the living room to the door.
“Yeah?” Vernon’s gruff voice travelled easily up the stairs and through the walls of Harry’s room. “Wadda yer want?”
Unfortunately for Harry whoever was at the door was a good deal softer of speech than Vernon and all he could hear was a muted mumbling.
“There’s no Potter here. Off with you!”
Mumble mumble mum.
“Get yer foot out of my door. There’s no Potter here, I say! An’ we don’t want none of your freakish lot around here neither!”
Harry grabbed his wand and made his way to the door listening intently. Vernon only got this upset when it was something to do with the Wizarding World. Harry knew it couldn’t be his friends; he had got nothing but terse notes on his birthday. He doubted any of them cared enough to come visit.
SLAM
Sounded like Vernon had gotten rid of whoever it was then.
“Good riddance. BOY! Get down here! What did I tell you bringing your freakishness to this house? After all-“
SMASHBANG
Harry gripped his wand tightly and raced for the stairs. It must be an attack! He raised his wand as he thundered down the stairs, but the words of the hex died on his lips.
Vernon lay prone underneath his own front door which appeared to have been blasted off its hinges. Out of the corner of his eye he saw…Draco Malfoy? With his wand trained on Petunia and Dudley who cowered in the living room. And standing on the now horizontal door with a wicked looking sword pointed at Vernon’s throat was…a girl Harry?
Harry blinked rapidly at the surreal tableau, grasping for a way to save both himself and his relatives. He began to raise his wand again when She-Harry spoke.
“I tried to be nice. I REALLY did! But some people just don’t know what is good for them! Now, I’ll say again: you fat waste of skin, we’re here to pick-up Harry Potter. Tell us where he is, you-single-greatest-argument-against-human-cloning or so help me I’ll cut off that Bobotuber sapling masquerading as your cock, peel it and feed it to you!”
Harry vaguely noted Draco mirror his own wince at that…colourful threat. She-Harry spoke again, this time punctuating each word with a bounce on the door causing Vernon to squeal like a pig as his girth was pressed into the floor.
“Where.” Squee
“Is.” Squee
“My.” Squee
“NEPHEW?!?!” Squee
There was a full five seconds of silence.
“I have an Aunt?”