Too Young

**AN:This Chapter is dedicated to my friend Never Tempt/CameoWitch who is having a tough day :) Thank you to Keikokin for the Beta (and the Beta gets much tougher from here on in) Many thanks to all who have reviewed : ) It means a lot.

Harry decided he wasn’t going to let that one moment hurt his growing friendship with Draco. He liked the boy in more than one way. Harry knew that Draco was gay, and that they could have a relationship if he chose, but right now his hands were full with trying to be a dad. Friendship was all he could handle.

He stood in the doorway to his daughter’s room once again marveling over the tiny figure in the bed. Still after over two years, three if you count the pregnancy, he couldn’t believe that he had a daughter. She was everything he could hope for in a child, he just sometimes wished that he was able to figure out life without worrying about a child yet. He wanted to date and have fun. He wanted to be able to be himself without worrying how it would affect her.

A big part of being himself was admitting to those around him that he was gay. It wasn’t something that crept up on him, something that he had just figured out. His crush on Draco wasn’t new to the current circumstances. He knew the night his daughter was conceived that he was gay. It had been difficult for him, being there with his friend, a girl, while thinking about a boy.

It had been such a relief to him when she decided that they shouldn’t do it again. It had been painful for her. Harry had wondered if it was always painful for girls. He knew better now having talked about sex with his dorm mates but at the time he wondered why it could be so great for men and so awful for women.

When he first found out that Sarah was pregnant he thought it was a joke. He thought that the Fates were somewhere laughing. Before he knew it he was a thirteen year old gay boy, married to a thirteen year old straight girl, and expecting a child.

Despite how hard it had been Harry had been grateful. He saw it as his only chance to have a child and he was glad to have gone through it. At one time he had wished to be like everyone else. He had wished to have a wife and a family. Then when it was forced upon him he took the experience for what it was; life. His marriage had been based on affection and love, just not of a sexual nature. After Livvie’s conception they had never again had sex. There were many times over the summer that they shared a bed, most often with a baby, then toddler, in the middle. He would miss Sarah in his life. She was a good friend, one who knew more about him than anyone else.

He sighed and turned to go into his own room. He walked slowly over to his bed and picked up the pajamas Dobby had set out for him. Harry had started taking his shower at night because the morning was always too hectic.

When the water was warm Harry stepped inside the steam filled enclosure and grabbed the soap. He had no idea what to do about tonight, about the kiss. He was afraid and he was filled with longing. As happened so often during his showers he felt himself get hard. He may be a dad, but he was also still sixteen. Watching Snape in a tutu, although disgusting, would probably give him an erection.

As he slowly stroked his hardness he thought about the kiss, about the warmth that had traveled through his body, about the confusion that had filled his head. He remembered Draco’s eyes and the desire he saw in them. It wasn’t a desire for sex, but for something stronger and deeper. He knew that Coco was looking for something more. The question was - could he give it? He had to think of Livvie first. He couldn’t just casually date the way that others could. Anyone he got involved with had to be someone he wouldn’t mind having around his daughter. He could already see the calculating glances coming from several of the older girls.

There had been offers to baby sit, or to help him out if needed. Susan Bones had gone on and on about how beautiful Livvie was, while never once asking her name. He could spot the girls that were playing games, and nearly all of them were.

Ginny, unfortunately was not one of the ones that was playing games. She saw this for the opportunity it could have been. She had offered her help; she had offered her mother’s help. It had been strange really, the only time he had seen them together Livvie had obviously not liked the girl. It wasn’t that she wasn’t nice; it was that she was trying too hard. Livvie wasn’t one to be coerced into liking someone. She always made an instant judgment on people. She had told her Dad that she liked Ginny okay, but that she didn’t feel right when the girl was around. The only person so far that she acted herself around - was Coco.

This line of thinking had definitely deflated his erection. Thoughts of girls always did, while thoughts of boys, even Ron or Professor Snape, as unattractive as Harry found them, gave him a hard on if he thought about them the right way.

***

The next few days between the two boys were strained. Draco didn’t know how to broach the subject with Harry. It had been obvious that he had been affected by the kiss. Perhaps it meant he was bi? He certainly couldn’t react that way to an innocent kiss and have no interest right? It was Harry’s inaction that made him decide to ignore the kiss. Harry wasn’t acting upset about it; he was just pretending it didn’t happen. Maybe it was nothing to him. Draco’s thoughts at the moment were so confused.

Because both boys were confused, neither really knew what to do, so they did nothing. Their friendship continued to grow, and Livvie continued to be the glue that held them together.

More and more often, Draco was staying after she went to bed. They would talk and do homework together, or sometimes just sit quietly enjoying each others company. On occasion they played exploding snap or chess. Each one noticed that their eyes connected a bit too long, that hands lingered when passing an item. It was comfortable, this level of contact, of intimacy. They weren’t in any rush to move on to the next step.

***

The school had gotten used to seeing the three of them together. Currently they were enjoying a picnic by the lake. It was pretty cold out, but they had used warming charms to keep the area around the blanket feeling like a spring afternoon. Livvie was loving being outside with her two favorite men.

Harry was laying on his side watching as Draco bounced his daughter on his legs. The blond was lying on his back with his knees up in the air. Livvie had mounted his shins like they were a show pony and he started to bounce them. Harry loved the picture they made. They looked more like father and daughter than Harry did. Someone that didn’t know coming upon them would think her Draco’s daughter or sister.

There hadn’t been any more trouble with the press. Harry had straightened that out. Although there were still people who refused to believe that he had been married without seeing a marriage certificate. He refused to produce that and prove his daughter’s connection to the Malfoy family. Most people refused to believe the slanderous things written in the Prophet these days. They had been proven wrong one time too many and lost much credibility.

Dumbledore had gotten an inflammatory letter from Cornelius Fudge about moral values in the school. He had demanded Harry’s expulsion. Dumbledore, of course, told him that he had been a witness at the marriage ceremony and could not in good conscience kick Harry out of school. This only made Fudge angrier. He swore he would eventually find a way to rid himself of the Potter boy. The boy was a threat to his political career. He had demanded to see the marriage certificate, but Dumbledore had refused stating that as long as the Headmaster could state undeniably that there was no morals violation, and then there was no need for Harry to have to prove it to the Ministry. He told Fudge that if he continued to insist that he would take it to the press. That had shut the Minister up quickly.

Hermione and Ron had been very uncomfortable watching Harry and his daughter growing closer to Draco Malfoy. Although it was evident that he had changed, they were still teenagers prone to hold onto old grudges. Harry, who had been forced to grow up much faster than his peers, was more able to let go of the old animosity.

It was further compounded by the fact that Harry’s daughter just didn’t seem to feel as comfortable with them as she was with Draco. They didn’t know if this was due to the blood connection or the similarity in appearance to her mother. Hermione was an only child and had never spent time around babies, Ron was second youngest and he had also never been around small children. It was hard for him to understand how she could like the evil git better than she liked him.

Now, the relationship between the trio was strained. Ron and Hermione couldn’t get over the betrayal that they felt at being left out of the loop. Not as long as Harry’s daughter was also rejecting them in favor of Malfoy. They found themselves spending more and more time away from Harry and his daughter. It was difficult to always have the child around, and it was hard to understand why Harry couldn’t just leave her with Dobby once in a while to get out without her.

***

Harry was confused. His friends had stopped asking him to hang out with them. He had a sneaking suspicion it was because he always brought his daughter with him. It was a shame really that they couldn’t understand the need for security that she felt so soon after losing her mother. She couldn’t get over the very real thought that she could lose her Daddy too. Draco had no such concerns. He loved spending time with the little girl and could often be found watching her while Harry did a project in the library or was having Quidditch practice. Ron and Hermione had never volunteered to baby-sit, and had only said ‘yes’ once or twice when asked. He had at this point stopped asking them. It wasn’t that he didn’t still want them as friends as much as it was that he had other responsibilities now. He had a daughter and as much as they might want to pretend it wasn’t so, he just couldn’t do that.

This was how he came to be sitting alone in the library working on a Potions assignment. He was taking notes out of a reference book that was not allowed to leave the library. Once he had all his notes together and an outline written, Draco had promised to help him with his essay. It was part of the original make-up work he was given and was meant to replace the actual brewing of the potion. Snape had been willing to give him that much, so that he could complete the assignment without having to find someone to watch his daughter at all hours while he was in the potions lab. However, because of that, he needed to get all the information for it as this essay would count for two grades, both his practical and his written.

He had hopes that Draco would be willing to stay on the sofa tonight. It was a Friday night before a Hogsmeade weekend. It was very close to Halloween and Harry had plans that he would need the blonde’s help for. He was going to create trick-or-treating for his daughter. He had found several Muggleborn students and professors who were willing to help him out and stand in empty classrooms waiting for her to knock. They were delighted to be part of the celebration in the muggle tradition. Then, he and Draco would wake her at midnight to celebrate Samhain together. They would bundle up and go outside to the bonfire that was lit for the students and faculty that still practiced the Old Ways. They would welcome the New Year together and bring back a branch of fire to light the fireplace in their flats, first Draco’s then his. Then they would drink to the Old Ways and place a sacrifice into the flame. It would truly be a time of magic for the three of them.

***

It was a sunny day, but chilly when the three of them set out for Hogsmeade. They had gotten permission to go early to avoid the crowds. To be honest, Harry had asked because he couldn’t stand the thought of trying to keep Livvie calm the whole morning until it was time to go. She was so excited to be going out to shop with her Coco. They would be going shopping for new clothes, Livvie needed more cold weather clothing and an extra cloak for once the snow started. Draco was going to sneak away with her and get those things for her while Harry snuck over to Honeydukes to place an order for all different candies to be delivered to the Headmasters office. He made sure to purchase extra because he knew that Dumbledore would want to taste test everything.

Dumbledore would then dole out the candy on Samhain and assign the classrooms to the volunteers. Draco was going to follow Harry and Livvie with the camera to take plenty of pictures. When asked, Livvie couldn’t decide if she wanted to be a lion or a snake. So they had created a new costume for her. It had the head of a snake, a basilisk, and the body of a lion. It was a brand-new creature, all her own. Draco was rather proud of his transfiguration skills.

Harry tried not to see the way that Draco took on tasks that Sarah had always handled. He had treasured the picture of Livvie in her first Halloween costume. It was a simple jack-o-lantern. He hated missing the important days in her life. This year he would be here for Halloween, he would be here for Christmas and her birthday. It was just so sad that in order for him to be there, Sarah could not.

It seemed that his daughter had adjusted well. It had been two and a half months and she was not asking for her mother as often as she had been at first. There were a few pictures of her with her mother, and grandparents scattered around the flat. Harry didn’t want to erase them from her life; he just found it easier to deal with her when she forgot. He longed for the day when he could tell her what an amazing woman Sarah had been, but for now he would settle for having Coco fill the void she had left. He just hoped that they didn’t end up getting their hearts broken a second time.

***

The Halloween and Samhain celebrations were everything that they had dreamed they would be. Trick-or-Treating had been a special thing for Harry to enjoy with his daughter. She was giggling and laughing before she knocked on each classroom door. At one door she was shocked to have a ghost float through to answer the door. Instead of trick-or-treat, Sir Nicholas had offered her a story from the days when his family used to celebrate the holiday together.

Professor McGonagall had a student open the door for her and then trotted out in her cat form to drop the packaged candy from her mouth into Livvie’s bag. Flitwick was just simply too excited and his wand was letting off yellow and orange sparks.

At the last door both Harry and Draco were shocked to find Professor Snape. He didn’t offer any of the candies that Harry had purchased. Instead he gave the little girl a beautiful candle. It was white with gold filigree edging. In the middle of the candle was a photo of Sarah that he had gotten from Dumbledore and magiked on.

“Olivia, this candle is for you to bring to the bonfire. When you light it, speak to your mother and she will hear you tonight as you celebrate this Samhain.” He spoke to the little girl from his position kneeling beside her on the floor.

The little girl took the candle with reverence in her pudgy little hands and held it up to show her Dad. She quietly walked closer to the Potion Master and sweetly kissed his cheek. Harry shook the man’s hand and quietly thanked him. Draco just smiled at his professor knowing that the man had lost his mother at a young age and was helping the tiny blonde to grieve in her own way.

She was exhausted by the time they got her tucked into bed, knowing that in a few hours they would wake her again to celebrate another holiday; this one marking the New Year and new beginnings. Harry hoped that he could try to lay the pain of Sarah’s death to rest and find some peace in the life he was trying to build for his family.

She was a little cranky when they bundled her up in her new winter cloak and cast a warming spell on her hands and feet. They carried with them the special candle that Professor Snape had given Livvie tonight. She was especially excited that her Mama would see the candle.

When they reached the steps out of the castle Harry was surprised at the number of people who had turned out for the bonfire this year. In years past there had only been a hundred or so students, but with more deaths recently and even more on the horizon many of the students were finding their path with the Old Ways.

Harry and Draco walked with Livvie in between them and scoured the kindling area for the perfect torch to bring the New Year’s fire back to their hearth. Livvie was the one to find the lucky torch. They walked to the bonfire and stood enjoying the warmth and light. They watched all of the old brush that had been collected over the last year burn away, renewing the earth below it with the ash. The ash would be taken over to the garden in the morning to help acidify the soil for the spring.

Dumbledore held up his hand for silence and he carefully opened a book and read out the blessing in Gaelic. Once he was finished he turned and pointed his wand at the bonfire and said another incantation that caused it to spark and jump up for a few minutes. He then invited each person who wanted to light a candle for a loved one lost this year to come to the front. As everyone did so he would light the candle using a small twig to transfer the flame from the bonfire. When it was Livvie’s turn Harry walked up with her in his arms and she held out her candle to be lit.

Dumbledore carefully lit it and said “May the blessing of the New Year sweep away your sorrow and bring you happiness.” Then it was someone else’s turn.

Draco, Harry and Livvie walked a bit away from the bonfire. They wanted to speak privately to the people they were missing. Harry looked down at his tiny daughter; she was staring in awe at the candle on the ground in front of them. He knelt down beside her and Coco did the same.

“Sarah, today I say goodbye. Olivia and I have missed you. Please keep watch over your little girl. I’d like for you to meet Coco, he’s your cousin. Of course you know the nickname came from Olivia. He’s really good at taming her Malfoy side. I hope that you are happy where you are. Tell my Mom and Dad that I love them and tell Sirius the same thing. Tell him that I miss him too.” Then Harry choked up and stopped speaking.

He felt tiny hands rubbing his back and he knew that his daughter was doing the best she could at her age to comfort him. He swung her around to the front and hugged her. “Did you want to say anything to Mama??” He asked.

“I love you Mama,” was all that she said.

Now it was Draco’s turn. He hadn’t really had anyone die on him; however he did have something he wanted to say.

“Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Mr. Black, Sarah, thank you for my family.”

***

It was a tired bunch that woke and ate a late breakfast together in the flat. They were visited later in the day by Ron and Hermione who were surprised to see Draco there in his pajamas.

“Hi Harry” The two said. It didn’t fly past Draco that neither he nor Livvie had been addressed.

“Harry, I’ll take Livvie in and get her dressed. We’ll be back in a little while.” He told his friend. Then he scooped up the little angel and made way for her bedroom.

“Harry what is Malfoy doing here?” Ron whispered.

“He slept on the couch last night. We were up late celebrating the Holy Day.” He told the two Gryffindors.

“Why were you up late for Halloween? The party in the Great Hall broke up at ten.” Hermione stated, showing her ignorance of her friends religion.

“Hermione, I’m Pagan. We celebrated Samhain last night, not just Halloween. We went to the bonfire and spoke to lost loved ones. We welcomed in the New Year together.”

“Oh, Harry, I didn’t know you were Pagan. When did you start celebrating?” She asked him.

“I’ve been Pagan since I got to Hogwarts. I just didn’t want to offend you, being Muggleborn I assumed you were Christian and you know how well they take Paganism.”

“Fair enough Harry, but why didn’t you tell Ron?” She asked.

“Well, he doesn’t celebrate. I just assumed that if he was, he would have been going to the feasts and Holy Day celebrations as well. I didn’t really think it would matter one way or another to him.” Harry answered her.

“No problem mate. My family stopped celebrating a few generations ago. Don’t know why really. Do you think I could come to the next event with you?” He asked his long time friend.

“Of course Ron, you too Hermione, you’re both welcome to come with the three of us.” He invited them.

“The three of you?” Hermione questioned.

“Yes, Livvie, Draco and myself.” He answered shortly. He expected the outburst from Ron any second.

“Oh,” was all Ron had to say on it. He looked puzzled.

Just then Draco came out of the room with Livvie. She was dressed in a cute blue velvet dress with ivory lace collar and flounce. She was smiling and giggling at something that Coco had told her.

“Harry, I’m going to go get dressed, I’ll be back in a while okay?” Draco asked, giving his friend a chance to say that he had made other plans for the day. He was very surprised when Harry nodded and returned to talking to his friends with his little girl on her lap.

It wasn’t lost on Harry that his friends were still acting uncomfortable even after Malfoy had left. He wondered if it was his daughter that made them feel that way.

“Hey, I have an idea, why don’t we play a game. Would you like that Livvie?” He asked his daughter.

Hermione scowled. “I was hoping we could go to the library.” She told her friend, again ignoring the child sitting in his lap. She wasn’t doing it on purpose; she just wasn’t used to having to think about a child when dealing with her best friends.

Quickly Ron chimed in, “The library? Honestly it’s Saturday! The three of us should go to the Quidditch pitch.” Again his friends seemed to forget there were four people in the room.

“Guys, whatever we do has to include Livvie. I only have weekends to spend the day with her and I don’t think it’s fair for her to have to give up that time.” He told the other two Gryffindors.

“But Harry what can we do that includes her? She’s just a baby really.” Hermione spoke, making Livvie scowl and huff.

“I was thinking about a picnic in the trophy room, or a game of Hide and Seek here in my rooms. If you guys want to do something else, you can go ahead and do it. I’m happy here.” He told them. He hoped they wouldn’t go, but he knew that they would.

“Well, I think I’m going to run to the library.” Hermione told the two.

“Uh…I think I’m going to see if someone can give me a game of chess in the common rooms. I’ll see you later Harry?” He asked. Again he never once mentioned Livvie or acted like there was another person in his room. It was times like this that he could use an adult to talk to.

***

Draco was more than happy to play with his daughter while he went to hunt down the last Marauder. He was sure that Remus would be able to help him. He could understand his friends trying to pretend that Draco wasn’t there, but what on earth could they have against a two and a half year old child?

He found Remus playing chess with Neville in the great hall. Remus loved being back at Hogwarts among the students he had taught in the past. It was hoped that he would eventually be able to teach again. Perhaps when the war was over and people weren’t so afraid of dark creatures being on Voldemort’s side.

“Hi Remus, Hi Neville.” Harry told the two when he sat down next to them to observe the chess game. Remus knew immediately that there was something wrong with his young friend. He wondered what it could be. There were so many possibilities with Harry. He just hoped he wasn’t going to be asked to baby-sit, he wasn’t sure he was young enough to do that anymore.

“What’s wrong Harry?” The werewolf asked.

“I was wondering if you were available to talk, but I don’t want to interrupt your game. Neville you’re doing so well.” He told his former dorm mate.

“Thanks Harry. You know I have to go talk to Professor Sprout. It seems Gran’ can’t control the Jumping Junipers and I thought maybe the Professor would have an answer for her. Would you mind taking my place in the game?” Neville was not nearly as clueless as many thought him.

“Yes, of course Neville. Thank you.” Harry knew Neville was just giving them a chance to be alone.

“Hey Harry, I was wondering if I could maybe come see your daughter one day soon? I saw you guys at the bonfire and I wanted to say ‘hello’ but it looked like a private moment.” Harry hadn’t even realized that Neville celebrated the Old Ways. It made sense though, since he was a Pureblood and most of them still celebrated.

“That would be great Nev’, maybe next Saturday?” He questioned the sandy-haired boy.

“Perfect. I’ll talk to you in class Harry.” He walked out the door on his way to find the professor.

“Did you want to talk here Harry? Or would my flat be better?” Lupin asked the young man.

“Your place. It’s kind of private.” ‘Private, Hmm.’ Thought Remus Lupin. ‘It is either a parenting question or sex. God I hope it’s not sex!!’

The two walked together to the werewolf’s flat, it was just a few corridors away from Harry’s. He desperately wanted to figure out what was wrong with his friends. If they expected him to abandon his daughter to spend time with them, then they had some serious growing up to do.

When the two were settled on the sofa in front of the fire, tea on a tray in front of them Remus address his young companion.

“What’s on your mind Harry?” He asked.

“I’m having trouble with Ron and Hermione and I don’t understand it.” He told Remus. “They never ask about Olivia, and when they come into a room where she is they don’t look at her, and they don’t speak to her. It’s as if they are pretending she doesn’t exist. I understood it when they acted this way toward Malfoy, until this year he was a git. But Olivia hasn’t done anything to them. She’s just a baby.” By the end of his speech his head was in his hands.

“Well Harry, I can’t say for sure what is wrong. What I can say is that it sounds like they are having trouble adjusting to your new situation. They’ve never had to share you with anyone before. Now suddenly you’ve got someone in your life that is more important than they are and they don’t know how to handle it. Then you’re also befriending Malfoy and that has to have thrown them for a loop. I’m not saying they are right to behave the way they are, they’re not. I’m just explaining why they may be acting strangely.”

Harry groaned in exasperation. “How do I explain to a toddler that my grown friends don’t like her because she gets all of Daddy’s attention? Do they not realize that I created her? She is my daughter and she will always be my priority. I know it hasn’t seemed like it for the last two years, but that was because her safety required it. I have always taken care of my daughter and I always will.” A few angry tears made their way down Harry’s face. How could two nearly adult people be so juvenile? Especially Hermione!!

“What can I do Moony? How do I fix this?” He begged.

“You can’t fix it Harry. You can only let them know how their behavior makes you feel and the rest is up to them. If they decide to let you know how they have been feeling then you’ll get through this just fine. Just remember to be gentle.”