Not even a sandpit

Owls


I apologised to Grandmother by singing her old wartime favourites to her. She made me sing ‘The white cliffs of Dover’ four times. She likes muggle music.

She falls asleep as I sing the last note of the fourth rendition.

Quietly I sneak out and creep back downstairs, the owls are still there, I ignore them, tidy up my book and lay grandmothers breakfast tray for tomorrow morning before going to bed.

Maybe I should take up smoking.


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There are three owls at my bedroom window and the other seven still haven’t left.

I wonder as I carefully time the eggs and fry the bacon, if you can get owl repellent.

I’d spray it all over the outside of the house and then Blaise would have to find another way of contacting me.

I tell Grandmother I’m going to pop out and get some groceries. She doesn’t like it but acquiesces when I promise not to be longer than an hour.

As I step outside I notice the owls have shit all over my garden.

I feel like crying.


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I pick a video up for Grandmother, ‘The Wizard of Oz’ its her favourite. Moving up to the counter I see all the packets of cigarettes and scan them briefly. Embassy, it sounds worryingly like Emphysema so I move on, Marlborough lights look intimidating. Finally I go for a plain unassuming packet in black and gold. JPS it says.

I pay for them and at the last minute remember to get a lighter. Most people would light them with their wands. Not me, I stopped doing magic as soon as I left Hogwarts except perhaps occasionally to tend to my garden. I’m crap at it you see and Grandmothers worried I’ll do something dangerous by accident.

Blaise doesn’t understand, he regularly berates me about not having my wand on me at all times. How will you protect yourself he asks? I shrug and say, who would want to attack me? I have nothing.

There are fourteen owls sitting in the garden when I get back. When I walk up the garden path they fly towards me nipping and pecking and scratching. Hurriedly I run into the house and set the shopping down.

Pulling Gran’s salami salad from the fridge I set it on a tray and put the rental video beside it and take it upstairs.

“Your back then, what have you been doing to yourself Neville?” She says. “You’ve scratched yourself.”

I tell her not to worry and show her the video. She’s very pleased and tells me to put it on immediately.

I’m grateful, I hate having my gifts rejected, she does that sometimes.

I go downstairs after settling her down. Moving to the window I let the owls in one by one and collect the letters.

All but one rejects my offer of food though they must be hungry. They viciously peck my hand instead. I wrap my hand in a bandage and settle down to read them in the back garden bringing my JPS with me.

The first letter reads:

What? Why did you swear at me Neville…what’s wrong?

The third reads:

Neville I grow tired of these antics are you coming or not?

The last reads:

For god’s sake Neville please, what in the name of god is going on? Please tell me!

The cigarette makes me cough and splutter and I’m glad I chose to do this in the back garden so know one can see and laugh.

Ah spoke to soon, as I said what are neighbours for?

If I take tiny drags it’s better and I like the feeling of it hitting the back of my throat.

I am considerably relaxed and not a little light headed. I am also remorseful, sighing I pen back a note to Blaise with my sincerest apologies and saying if he still wants me to I’ll come.

Now all I have to do is wait for the next owl to come along.

Perhaps another cigarette?


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Hope the smoking part was realistic. It’s going to become an escape for him you see so if he had thrown up he wouldn’t have tried it again. Besides I didn’t throw up on my first cigarette.