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The Choices That We Make
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Snape/Lucius
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,660
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Snape/Lucius
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,660
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Disentangling Fact From Fiction
TITLE: The Choices That We Make
AUTHOR: Lady Sirius
PAIRING: SS/LM
RATING: NC17
FEEDBACK: shelley_runyon@yahoo.com
Warning: Contains spoilers for HBP
DISCLAIMER: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling
- I just like to play with Severus and Lucius when I can!
DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman - and of course to Alan Rickman and Jason Isaacs! And to my two Severuses - Amber and Ann - who both love my Luciuses!
The Choices That We Make
Chapter Five - Disentangling Fact From Fiction
All that Severus Snape gained from his booted assault upon the heavy brick building was a broken heel - which he muttered a quick Reparo to put to rights - and, if possible, an unhappier disposition. Damn Sirius Black all to hell! Knowing that he was right didn't make things any better, of course, and seeing the two of them together - obviously happy and free to be who they were before everyone - only chafed him all the more. It caused him to take stock, not only of his situation, but of his life as well...
Here he was, eighteen, his schooling finished, ready to embark upon his adult life - but what sort of life? He had been in love with Lucius since he was a mere child, had been with him as part of a couple - albeit a secret one - for some three years now. He had never allowed the issue of Lucius' impending marriage - which of course he'd always known about - to be the sword of Damocles above their collective heads, pushing any and all such thoughts aside for a different day. Well, that different day had arrived, and he wasn't ready for it - he who was invariably anal about his preparations for anything and everything, had simply buried his head in the sand with regards to an event that couldn't help but change his life forever - and not for the good. He had built his whole future about Lucius Malfoy - even as regards the thoughts he had of becoming an apothecary and opening his own potions shop. Everything revolved about Lucius, and now he was losing him, and his whole world was falling about him and he was ill prepared to deal with it.
"Severus!"
He heard his name and his head jerked up suddenly, his cheeks flaming, his heart thumping loudly. Could it be? He didn't want it to be, yet he hoped it was...
But no, it wasn't Lucius. Rather it was his longtime friend Evan Rosier, and Evan's boyfriend Leland Wilkes. What? Were all the gay couples from Hogwarts having some sort of reunion this day here in Diagon Alley? Egads!
The two dark young former Slytherins were entwined about one another, as always, arms about one another's waists, hands tucked into mutual pockets. Everything they did, they did in tandem and in complete syncopation - including but not limited to moving together in mutual accord, and finishing one another's thoughts. They were happy young Death Eaters - happy in love and happy with their exalted positions with their Lord, for ever since they were children they had played at being soldiers and now their dream had come true and nothing could disturb the quiet tenor of their existence.
Evan saw at a glance that Severus was quite unhappy, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. He and Leland were to attend the wedding, of course. Their parents were friends of the family on both sides, so it was rather inevitable. He also understood why Severus would be dying inside on this day; he would, himself, should the Wilkes ever press the issue of Leland's marriage, which luckily they never had.
"Severus," he said quietly, "I'm sorry........."
"Don't bother wasting your pity on me," Severus fairly snarled, "I have no use for it. Reserve it for him, for he will need it, not I..." He turned away from the two, closing his eyes, determined that they not see any trace of weakness there. Thus, he missed the platinum blonde head as it bobbed into view, and wove its impeccable way into the bookstore behind him, but Evan and Leland saw - exchanging glances with one another. However they said nothing, at least not until they were able to gauge more of Severus' true mood.
"Severus, you know as well as we do that he doesn't want this," Evan began, hesitantly.
"I know no such thing!" Severus cried out, "and I've no wish to discuss this - with you or anyone else."
"But you should," Leland said, even as Evan chimed in, "You really should."
"Why? To what purpose? To torture myself all the more? It's over. It's done. She's won........he's hers......." The hoarse voice trailed away in anguish.
The two young men exchanged glances. "Are you telling us that Lucius is in love with Narcissa?" Evan asked.
"No, of course not!" Severus said disdainfully.
"Are you telling us that he doesn't love you any more?" this from Leland.
"How could he?" But unbidden sprang to his mind the image of Lucius, the words of love which poured from his lips, protestations of eternal love... "What does it matter, he's marrying her!"
"But Sev, be honest, what else can he do?" Evan asked evenly.
"Yes, Sev, what choice does he have?" from Leland. "If he doesn't, I'm sure his father will cut him off completely. How would he survive? We're talking about Lucius here - he doesn't have your strength... all he has is his tongue and the money..."
"No, not your strength,” Evan echoed. "Charm and money..."
Severus' head was spinning, his mind reeling. Intellectually, he knew they were right, but emotionally........his heart insisted that if Lucius Malfoy really cared, he'd give it all up for him... all of it... for them... for their love... their future.
And yet he'd done so much already - this was the logical side of Severus Snape coming to the fore. He’d taken Severus into his house - into his bedroom - had segregated Narcissa into a separate wing from themselves, with no access to their space, thanks to carefully placed wards and hexes. Severus had been given complete run of the house, of course, access to anything and everything. The house elves had been told to obey his every command, as master of the house, and it would stay that way, no matter the presence of the shrill harpy within the domicile. Not to mention that he had unhindered access to Lucius' vault at Gringott's. No, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he knew that Lucius did not love the bitch. He would not be "with" her - other than the brief encounter necessary for him to produce an heir - and that was very much against his will, it being nothing he wished to do or would have any desire to ever repeat, once done.
No, Lucius' heart was his and totally his. Always had been and always would be. This he knew.
So what was he accomplishing by taking this stand? By removing himself from Lucius' life? Other than making both of them miserable? He had put Lucius into an untenable position. What else was the man supposed to do, but what he had no choice but to do? Merlin, why was he such a major eejit sometimes? Severus groaned to himself. Well, he'd fucked up now. What could he possibly do to put things right? Nothing and he knew it. By now, Lucius was no doubt preparing for the big event, far beyond his reach, should Lucius even wish to see him - which was questionable.
Leland and Evan began frantically digging their elbows into one another. They'd both seen the wizard in question flying out of Stolen Hours, but they had to make Severus see - and go after him - but how to do it and not be obvious about it?
Their gestures between themselves had not gone unnoticed by the dark haired boy. Frowning, he glanced at whatever they were becoming overwrought about - and when he saw him, his heart caught in his throat with a great tearing sob. Lucius!
And suddenly everything fell away - all the turmoil, all the misgivings, the doubts, the pain - all he could see was Lucius, and his heart cried out for him. Without making a conscious effort, he slid away from the wall, past the two now grinning youths, who made no move to stop him, as he fell into step behind Lucius, who was completely unaware of his presence and was moving quickly away in obvious perturbation.
Evan and Leland turned to one another with a shared sigh. "Ain't love grand?"
AUTHOR: Lady Sirius
PAIRING: SS/LM
RATING: NC17
FEEDBACK: shelley_runyon@yahoo.com
Warning: Contains spoilers for HBP
DISCLAIMER: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling
- I just like to play with Severus and Lucius when I can!
DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman - and of course to Alan Rickman and Jason Isaacs! And to my two Severuses - Amber and Ann - who both love my Luciuses!
The Choices That We Make
Chapter Five - Disentangling Fact From Fiction
All that Severus Snape gained from his booted assault upon the heavy brick building was a broken heel - which he muttered a quick Reparo to put to rights - and, if possible, an unhappier disposition. Damn Sirius Black all to hell! Knowing that he was right didn't make things any better, of course, and seeing the two of them together - obviously happy and free to be who they were before everyone - only chafed him all the more. It caused him to take stock, not only of his situation, but of his life as well...
Here he was, eighteen, his schooling finished, ready to embark upon his adult life - but what sort of life? He had been in love with Lucius since he was a mere child, had been with him as part of a couple - albeit a secret one - for some three years now. He had never allowed the issue of Lucius' impending marriage - which of course he'd always known about - to be the sword of Damocles above their collective heads, pushing any and all such thoughts aside for a different day. Well, that different day had arrived, and he wasn't ready for it - he who was invariably anal about his preparations for anything and everything, had simply buried his head in the sand with regards to an event that couldn't help but change his life forever - and not for the good. He had built his whole future about Lucius Malfoy - even as regards the thoughts he had of becoming an apothecary and opening his own potions shop. Everything revolved about Lucius, and now he was losing him, and his whole world was falling about him and he was ill prepared to deal with it.
"Severus!"
He heard his name and his head jerked up suddenly, his cheeks flaming, his heart thumping loudly. Could it be? He didn't want it to be, yet he hoped it was...
But no, it wasn't Lucius. Rather it was his longtime friend Evan Rosier, and Evan's boyfriend Leland Wilkes. What? Were all the gay couples from Hogwarts having some sort of reunion this day here in Diagon Alley? Egads!
The two dark young former Slytherins were entwined about one another, as always, arms about one another's waists, hands tucked into mutual pockets. Everything they did, they did in tandem and in complete syncopation - including but not limited to moving together in mutual accord, and finishing one another's thoughts. They were happy young Death Eaters - happy in love and happy with their exalted positions with their Lord, for ever since they were children they had played at being soldiers and now their dream had come true and nothing could disturb the quiet tenor of their existence.
Evan saw at a glance that Severus was quite unhappy, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. He and Leland were to attend the wedding, of course. Their parents were friends of the family on both sides, so it was rather inevitable. He also understood why Severus would be dying inside on this day; he would, himself, should the Wilkes ever press the issue of Leland's marriage, which luckily they never had.
"Severus," he said quietly, "I'm sorry........."
"Don't bother wasting your pity on me," Severus fairly snarled, "I have no use for it. Reserve it for him, for he will need it, not I..." He turned away from the two, closing his eyes, determined that they not see any trace of weakness there. Thus, he missed the platinum blonde head as it bobbed into view, and wove its impeccable way into the bookstore behind him, but Evan and Leland saw - exchanging glances with one another. However they said nothing, at least not until they were able to gauge more of Severus' true mood.
"Severus, you know as well as we do that he doesn't want this," Evan began, hesitantly.
"I know no such thing!" Severus cried out, "and I've no wish to discuss this - with you or anyone else."
"But you should," Leland said, even as Evan chimed in, "You really should."
"Why? To what purpose? To torture myself all the more? It's over. It's done. She's won........he's hers......." The hoarse voice trailed away in anguish.
The two young men exchanged glances. "Are you telling us that Lucius is in love with Narcissa?" Evan asked.
"No, of course not!" Severus said disdainfully.
"Are you telling us that he doesn't love you any more?" this from Leland.
"How could he?" But unbidden sprang to his mind the image of Lucius, the words of love which poured from his lips, protestations of eternal love... "What does it matter, he's marrying her!"
"But Sev, be honest, what else can he do?" Evan asked evenly.
"Yes, Sev, what choice does he have?" from Leland. "If he doesn't, I'm sure his father will cut him off completely. How would he survive? We're talking about Lucius here - he doesn't have your strength... all he has is his tongue and the money..."
"No, not your strength,” Evan echoed. "Charm and money..."
Severus' head was spinning, his mind reeling. Intellectually, he knew they were right, but emotionally........his heart insisted that if Lucius Malfoy really cared, he'd give it all up for him... all of it... for them... for their love... their future.
And yet he'd done so much already - this was the logical side of Severus Snape coming to the fore. He’d taken Severus into his house - into his bedroom - had segregated Narcissa into a separate wing from themselves, with no access to their space, thanks to carefully placed wards and hexes. Severus had been given complete run of the house, of course, access to anything and everything. The house elves had been told to obey his every command, as master of the house, and it would stay that way, no matter the presence of the shrill harpy within the domicile. Not to mention that he had unhindered access to Lucius' vault at Gringott's. No, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he knew that Lucius did not love the bitch. He would not be "with" her - other than the brief encounter necessary for him to produce an heir - and that was very much against his will, it being nothing he wished to do or would have any desire to ever repeat, once done.
No, Lucius' heart was his and totally his. Always had been and always would be. This he knew.
So what was he accomplishing by taking this stand? By removing himself from Lucius' life? Other than making both of them miserable? He had put Lucius into an untenable position. What else was the man supposed to do, but what he had no choice but to do? Merlin, why was he such a major eejit sometimes? Severus groaned to himself. Well, he'd fucked up now. What could he possibly do to put things right? Nothing and he knew it. By now, Lucius was no doubt preparing for the big event, far beyond his reach, should Lucius even wish to see him - which was questionable.
Leland and Evan began frantically digging their elbows into one another. They'd both seen the wizard in question flying out of Stolen Hours, but they had to make Severus see - and go after him - but how to do it and not be obvious about it?
Their gestures between themselves had not gone unnoticed by the dark haired boy. Frowning, he glanced at whatever they were becoming overwrought about - and when he saw him, his heart caught in his throat with a great tearing sob. Lucius!
And suddenly everything fell away - all the turmoil, all the misgivings, the doubts, the pain - all he could see was Lucius, and his heart cried out for him. Without making a conscious effort, he slid away from the wall, past the two now grinning youths, who made no move to stop him, as he fell into step behind Lucius, who was completely unaware of his presence and was moving quickly away in obvious perturbation.
Evan and Leland turned to one another with a shared sigh. "Ain't love grand?"