Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 5

Chapter 5. A Deal with the Devil?

Snow fell lightly on the school grounds as she walked along the courtyard from her Herbology class. November was winding down, Sasha realized as she crossed over and entered Hogwarts main hall. She climbed the stairs, and headed towards the collection of small alcoves located a floor above the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. Whoever designed this section of the castle definitely had the Ravenclaw personality in mind, she thought, since there were so many small nooks and crannies cleverly built into the walls. Most of these had a small table, or stone benches along the wall that, although not very comfortable to sit on for an extended duration, allowed one to sit and just think without being disturbed. Most of these alcoves had at least one tall, narrow window to the outside that let in some light. It was nice to be able to gaze out onto the school grounds and just let your thoughts wander. She sat down on one of the benches, folded her arms over the edge of the windowsill, and looked out at the fading light and drifting snow.

 
She had deliberately put off thinking about Sna pro proposal for about a week now. For one thing she had assignments she needed to complete; but for another, she wanted to go into this with full knowledge of what she was doing. Every fiber in her being screamed that she should accept the offer. However, the rational side of her brain realized it would not be all fun and games. She would have to rearrange her study schedule to accommodate the time lost to the potions experiment. No problem, she was already on top of things. She could put off the longer assignments until the Christmas break, where she could work on them in between checking on the potion. It was not like she would be missed by her friends she thought wryly. No problems there.

 
The issue that was bothering her the most was the fact that she would be spending so much time with Snape. Alone. In the dungeon. Not that she was afraid he would make advances towards her or anything like that, she thought with an amused grin. Nope, she was probably that last person he would take a second look at. It was more of how she felt about him. Since his rather oblique proposal, she had watched him. Not just in potions class, but around the school.

 
Although he had the reputation of being a ruthless teacher, never giving slack to any of the students (except his own, of course), she realized that this was mainly for their benefit. Not correcting them or letting them get away with sloppy work could mean a disaster in the future, especially with regards to potions making. Any ingredient added in the wrong sequence, or one forgotten at step 96, in a 97 step-potion would ruin all the work that went into it previously. She knew – she had made these same mistakes before, and that was why she was so careful in her own potion brewing.

 
Snape was strict, but it was more than that, she thought. It was the way he wasentientionally cruel to people so they would not get too close to him. That bothered her, and she wondered if she could be around him for so long knowing he is like that. Well, she thought to herself, as long as I know that when he yells at me it will probably be for a good reason, and that I should not take it personally. She wondered if he would ever open up and give her a glimpse what he was really like. Severus Snape the man, that is, not Professor Snape the Potions Master.

 
There, she thought to herself. At least I now have some sort of plan with how I will deal with him. Sasha stood up and watched the final moments of the fading sun. Well Mr. Sun, she thought, hopefully within the next few weeks my scar will disappear just as easily as you did. She turned and headed back to the common room to get ready for dinner.

 
Once again, Sasha missed Snape as he left the dining hall. She gobbled down her blueberry pie and left the table to go in search of him. She walked down the corridor to the potions class and entered. He was not there, but there was a faint light under the door of his private study, just off the north end of the classroom. She walked over, took a deep breath, and knocked.

 
The door opened silently under the pressure of her knuckles. She had never been in Snape’s private office before. The room was large, dominated by a cold fireplace to the east, in front of which was a large black leather couch and a small, low table. Along the opposite wall was a desk that faced the hearth, which Snape was sitting behind. There was another narrow hallway, which meandered off to the north, and the remainder of the wall space was devoted to bookshelves. She walked in, her mouth open, looking around the room with awe.

 
Snape stopped what he was doing and watched her with a look of amusement. It was not the room she was staring at with excitement, it was the books. She looked like a kid who was locked in the candy shop, the way she was so excited. Sasha suddenly realized how stupid she must look with her mouth hanging open, so she straightened, and faced Snape.

 
"I’m glad you like it," he said sarcastically, but with a half smile on his lips, indicating the room and all encompassed within it.

 
Sasha blushed. She stood there, not too sure what to say or do. Snape, realizing her discomfort, stood up and motioned her towards the couch. She walked over sat down, and Snape joined her.

 
She looked over at him to find he was staring at the corner of her face with an odd look. Luckily it was not the side where her scar was, so she was not too sure what he was looking at. She ignored the look and began.

 
"Professor Snape, I came here to ask you a favour." Both she and Snape knew what she was about to ask, but he let her continue. "As I understand it, you may be interested in helping me with a potions experiment. As you pointed out last week, I seem to be a bit further away than I expected in terms of making a successful fading potion."

 
Snape kept his silence and heard her out. But he was still staring at the corner of her mouth. She ignored this, and continued. "From what I gather, the process will be fairly involved, to say the least. I wanted you to know I have thought about it, and am prepared to make the time and effort commitment, if you would be willing to mentor me." She looked up at him expectantly.

 
Snape regarded her for a moment. "I see. Well. As long as you are aware of the difficulties involved, and are sincerely committed, then I will agree to help you." He looked down at her and was filled with the smallest fraction of satisfaction at the look of eager excitement on her face.

 
"Really? Thank you, Professor Snape! You really have no idea how much this means to me." Her smile and the shine in her eyes told him of her genuine gratitude.

 
"Don’t thank me yet, we still have to complete it," he said in all seriousness. Snape stood up and strode across the room to his desk where he rifled through his notes. "Since time is of such urgency, I took the liberty of looking into this issue in case you came to me," he said. He walked back to the couch and sat down, the papers in his hand.

 
"First, I would like to know when you can begin. As I alluded to before, the preparation time before hand will take almost two weeks. After that, we will combine the precursors in sequence, and the potion must simmer for an additional two weeks. It must then be heated quickly to a very high temperature for about five minutes, stirred, then left to cool. This heating and cooling process must be repeated every hour, of every day for the last two weeks. Do you now understand what I mean by time commitment, Miss Rowan?" Snape looked at Sasha in all seriousness. She returned his gaze with her calm gray eyes and nodded.

 
"Yes sir."

 
He continued. "The key to this particular potion is that the ingredients cannot be added in concentration all at once, or they will precipitate out, and you will lose your potion. The alkaline pH must be maintained at all costs, and therefore must be monitored a few times per day."

 
Sasha nodded. "Well," Snape said, "if the last two weeks are to be conducted over the Christmas holidays, then we should start the initial experiments no later than the first week in December. Agreed?" Again, she nodded.

 
Snape looked at her carefully. "Do you not go home for the Holidays, Sasha?" he asked. Internally, she cringed at the thought.

 
"No sir."

 
"Can I ask why?" he probed a bit further. He had the feeling he would not like the answer.

 
Sasha unconsciously fingered her scar, and did not look very happy. "Well, lets just say it is better for me here at Hogwarts, and leave it at that," she replied cryptically.

 
Snap was not about to let her off so easily. "I have to know, Sasha, that if we go through the trouble of brewing this potion, and you turn around and place yourself in such a situation that you gain a new wound, then I will not be very pleased." Snape hoped she understood what he was asking.

 
Sasha sighed. She should have known that he would not give up so easily. "Professor Snape, what happened to me occurred a long time ago, and it was a one time accident. It was not my fault," Sasha’s voice quivered at the memory, but she continued, "however, it was my mother that prevented me from getting help. There is no way I would subject myself to her, her…" Sasha paused searching for the right word. Abuse? Torture? Torment? All of those words were too soft to describe the horror her mother inflicted on her. "Her ministrations." She left it at that and hoped he would understand.

 
Snape looked at Sasha through slitted eyes, gauging her. He wanted her to tell him the whole truth about the incident, however he was shrewd enough to realize people did not just vent their most painful and emotional moments if someone simply asks them to. There is no way he would be able to share his eternity of dread and terror while under Voldemort’s crucio curse. This is a matter he will have to tease out of her over time.

 
Snape smiled, leaving the conversation at that. "Very well. Let’s see. Today is Wednesday. How about we start on Friday. The first session will not involve any brewing but I would like us to review the procedure and methods very carefully, and we can set up a brewing schedule. How does that sound?"

 
Sasha nodded. She was actually starting to look forward to this. She looked at him and smiled, then noticed he was looking at her mouth again, and her curiosity got the better of her.

 
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, an inquisitive look on her face.

 
Snape had been staring at a dark smudge at the corner of her mouth ever since she had entered his office. Sasha watched as he reached out a long, graceful finger towards her face. His fingertip touched the sensitive corner of her mouth, and with a slow turn of his wrist, his finger grazed her bottom lip enough to send delightful shivers of pleasure through her. He pulled his finger away, unaware of Sasha’s reaction, and looked at it carefully.

 
"Blueberry," he exclaimed, looking back at her with surprise. Sasha closed her eyes in absolute horror, feeling the familiar flush of embarrassment rise to her cheeks. She had a smear of blueberry pie on her face this whole time then? She quickly stood up to cover her embarrassment, and made an excuse to leave.

 
"Ok then, thanks Professor Snape. I will see you Friday then," she said quickly as she headed towards the office door at a brisk pace. She cleared the door and walking through the potions class as fast as she could. She could feel his eyes bore into her as she left.

 
Snape looked down at the small smudge of blueberry pie filling on his finger. With a wicked thought, he brought it up to his lips and licked it off. Mmm…… delicious.