Save Me From My Pain

Chapter Five: Sleepless Nights and Concerned Friends

“NOO!” Hermione opened her eyes and looked around. She sighed and tried to get her breathing back to normal. Great, no peace when I’m conscious, and now I don’t even get peace in my sleep!

Hermione noticed that she was still sitting in the chair in front of what was left of the fire, so she got up and went to her room to sleep.

After about an hour of tossing and turning, Hermione decided to get a warm cup of tea. She got out of bed and pulled her black night robe over her nightgown, grabbed her wand, and walked to the kitchen. She opened the door and muttered incendo and watched as the flames rose in the small fireplace in her dining room. She was about to turn to the cabinet to get out the tea packets and a mug when she saw something out of the corner of her eye sitting at the dark corner of her table.

With her heart pounding in her chest, she tried to keep her voice calm. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing here?”

“Having trouble sleeping?” He asked mockingly.

“What are you doing here!” She asked again, her voice dripping with hatred.

“I don’t understand why though. I mean, after what we shared just hours ago, I would think you’d have pleasant dreams.” He sounded as though he was thoroughly enjoying tormenting her.

Hermione let out a sigh. “Might I remind you that we did not share anything earlier. What you did was against my will. And, I ask again, what are you doing here?”

He smirked up at her and she noticed for the first time that he was holding a piece of parchment. His eyes followed her gaze and – if possible – his smirk grew wider.

He cleared his throat and started to read. “The pain I felt all those hours ago – now Hermione, it wasn’t that painful was it? - won’t go away. – do the things we hate in life ever go away? - When he held me down - ”

Hermione lunged at him and grabbed the parchment out of his hands. He chuckled. “Why the hell were you going through my stuff?”

His eyes went wide with obvious false innocence. “I just happened to apparate into your office and it just happened to catch my eye.”

“You are full if it!” She said, her anger boiling inside of her. “You may be able to get me to your side whenever you want, but you have no rights to my personal life what-so-ever! Stay the hell away from my house.” She was pointing her wand at him in a threatening manner.

Malfoy just smirked at her and disappeared. After a minute of staring at the empty chair Malfoy previously occupied, Hermione plopped down into the nearest chair, holding her head in her hands. She was shaking and cold and hot all at the same time. She set the piece of parchment down in front of her, smoothing it out and reread what she’d written earlier that day.

As she read, a lone tear fell down her cheek. She knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep that night, so she made herself a cup of tea and sat in front of the fire in her sitting room. She had picked up her book of poems and marked her place in it with her parchment.

.;’;.;’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’; ;’;.;’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.

“Hermione?” Harry asked hesitantly.

Hermione looked up from the lesson plans she was working on and gave him a weak smile that didn\'t reach her eyes. “Hi Harry. What’s going on?”

“I was just wondering if everything’s all right? No one’s heard from yo see seen you since the morning after Malfoy was found dead.”

Hermione took a deep breath. She still hadn’t told anyone that Malfoy was alive. She couldn’t deal with the shame of everyone knowing how she knew he was alive.

“I’ve been a bit busy. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Herm,” Harry sat down in the seat across from her desk, “we’re just worried about you. In the 10 years – has it really been that long? – that I’ve known you, you’ve always worked yourself harder than you should, we all know that, but you’ve never forgotten my birthday.”

“Oh no!” Hermione looked at her planner to see that it was August 7th, a week after Harry’s birthday. “I’m so sorry Harry! I’ve been so wrapped up in planning my lessons and dealing with that jerk that I forgot! I promise - ”

“Wait! Back up! Lessons? What jerk?!”

Hermione put her head in her hands and started to frantically think of a way to cover. “Dammit Harry! I can’t tell you!” She managed to choke out. She hated not being able to tell him.

Harry walked nd tnd the desk and kneeled beside her chair. He turned chaichair to face him and pulled her hands away from her face.

“You can’t do this to yourself Hermione. I can tell that whatever is going on, whatever is making you keep this to yourself is something that you need to talk about.” He said gently.

“I can’t Harry, I can’t.” She refused to make eye contact with him.

“Look at me Hermione.” She didn’t. He gently took her chin in his hand and turned her face to meet his eyes. “You have to talk to someone. Whether it’s me or not, doesn’t matter, you just can’t keep thockeocked away inside. Remember when Sirius died?”

Hermione nodded.

“You remember how much of an ass I was because I wouldn’t talk to anyone about it?”

Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes. “Yes I do, but this is nothing like that! You wouldn’t understand.”

“Let me try Hermione, please. I owe you more than what I could ever repay in a lifetime, but at least let me t

“Please leave Harry.”

“At least tell me who he is, th’ll ’ll leave.”

“You wouldn’t believe me. Please Harry. I am begging you, just go. I can’t handle this.”

Harry shook his head. He gave Hermione a kiss on the forehead. “I’m only an owl away Hermione, don’t hesitate to call on me when you’re ready to talk about it.” With that he was gone.


.;’;.;’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’; ;’;.;’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.


Ginny Weasley was pacing her living room, waiting for Harry to come back from visiting Hermione. She heard a pop and turned around to see her boyfriend standing there, looking as though the weight of the world again rested on his shoulders.

“I take she’s not doing well?”

“She won’t tell me a thing Ginny. She didn’t even realize that she’d forgotten my birthday. There’re things in her life that are tearing her apart and she won’t talk to anyone about it.” He plopped down on the couch and rested his arms on his knees. He looked up at Ginny. “I don’t know what to do Gin, I’ve tried to get her to open up to me, but she just keeps pushing me away.”

“I know Harry. Give her time though, she’ll come around eventually.” Ginny sounded as though she were trying to convince the both of them.

“It’s a guy Gin. I don’t have a clue who it could be, but I know that I do know him because she said I wouldn’t believe her if she told me who it was.”

“Do you think I should go talk to her?”

“Give it a while. She needs time to sort out how she wants to deal with it. Remember how I told you she was using the time-turner in our third year? She made up her mind not to tell Ron and me about it, and she didn’t. She’s as stubborn as they come and I’m convinced that she just needs time.”

“You’re right Harry.” Ginny kneeled down in front of him and pulled his head down to meet hers in a kiss that she hoped would show him how much she loves him.


.;’;.;’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’; ;’;.;’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’.;.’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.;’;.


Hermione sat at her desk staring blankly at the lesson plans in front of her for hours just trying to figure out how she felt and what she wanted.

“Wow Granger, I really underestimated how stubborn you can be.”

Hermione looked up to see the source of her problems standing on the other side of her desk.

“What do you want Malfoy?” She said without emotion.

“Tell me Granger, is that the first piece you’ve written? I didn’t know Gryffindors could be that dark.”

She glared at him with all the hatred she felt toward him.

“You know, I really liked the part where you admitted to being in my service. I’m glad we understand each other.”

“For the last time Malfoy, what are you doing here?”

“I only came to inform you that you will be visiting me again tonight at precisely 8 o’clock. Wear something nice.”

He disapperated with a small pop and Hermione sighed.

This is going to be a long night.