Darkness Shadows Light

CHAPTER FIVE - TOO MANY FREAKS, NOT ENOUGH CIRCUSES

Harry looked at Ron expectantly, Ron simply stared back.

\'Well?\' prompted Harry impatiently

Ron took a deep breath, \'I\'ll do it,\' he said.

Harry resisted the urge to run over and hug Ron.

\'Thank you,\' he said simply.

\'There are a couple of conditions,\' continued Ron hesitantly.

\'Anything,\' Harry promised rashly.

\'First, I want to keep this quiet as long as possible, I don\'t want to have to pretend until it\'s strictly necessary.\'

\'That\'s fine,\' said Harry with relief. \'I wasn\'t exactly planning to rush around and tell everyone.\'

This extracted a small smile from Ron, but he wasn\'t finished yet.

\'The second thing is...I want you to tell Hermione the truth.\'
Harry\'s face fell.

\'I don\'t think that would be a good idea and I don\'t think Dumbledore would agree,\' Harry said. \'Hermione doesn\'t *need* to know...\'

\'But I *need* her to know!\' interrupted Ron.

\'Look, I know how you feel about Hermione, but she doesn\'t really warrant the risk. The more people who know the truth, the more likely is that it will get back to Voldemort.\'

\'Are you saying you don\'t trust her?\' Ron asked angrily, his face turning flaming red.

\'Of course I trust her! She\'s my best friend next to you, it\'s just...\' Harry stopped, unsure how to continue.

\'What?\' asked Ron impatiently.

\'I\'m not sure how she\'ll react...I\'m afraid she\'ll be shocked...that maybe she\'ll even hate me.\'

\'Why ever would you think that ?\' asked Ron, looking astonished.

\'You know how strictly moral Hermione is, I\'m afraid she\'ll not understand...\'

\'Understand what?\'

\'That I love Severus, that it doesn\'t feel wrong to want this baby.\' Harry found himself admitting things to Ron that he had barely admitted to himself.

Ron was looking at him with a look akin to pity on his face,

\'You\'ll afraid she\'ll judge you,\' Ron said slowly, understanding showing on his face. \'But didn\'t you feel the same way about telling me?\'

\'Hell, yes!\' replied Harry with fervour. \'I was terrified you\'d end up hating me.\'

\'I can\'t hate you, Harry, you\'re my best friend and I...love you. Strictly in a filial way though,\' Ron added hurriedly.

Harry laughed, \'I know, I love you too. I\'d hate to lose yours or Hermione\'s friendship. So do you understand why I don\'t want her to know yet?\'

\'I guess,\' said Ron slowly. \'I guess for now it would be okay if we didn\'t tell her, but I think we might have to tell her later. She\'s not stupid, she\'ll find it difficult to believe that you and I...\' Ron fidgeted uncomfortably, not able to finish the sentence.

\'God Ron, if you can\'t say it, how is anyone supposed to believe we did it?\' asked Haexasexasperatedly, hiding his relief at not having to tell Hermione under irritation.

\'It\'s not exactly easy,\' replied Ron. \'I *know* I\'m straight, but now everyone is going to believe I\'m gay, including Hermione.\'

\'But I said we\'d pretend it was a mistake. You can pretend I seduced you or something...\'

\'Okay,\' said Ron hastily, not wanting to get into details. \'Can we just go to bed now?\'

Harry smiled wickedly, \'Now that\'s a line you could say I used!\'

Ron went crimson again. \'Sometimes I really hate you,\' he muttered, before getting up and heading to their dormitory.

\'Not as much as you will when this gets out,\' Harry whispered softly, too quietly for Ron to hear, following him to their room.

********

The next day rose bright and sunny, though still rather cold, after all it was still only February. As Harry woke up, he felt the nausea that has been plaguing him for the past couple of weeks well up. At least now he knew it was morning sickness, though this evinced a terror of a different kind.

He quickly got out of bed and sped to the bathroom, barely getting there in time before he threw up. Not that there was much in his stomach after missing dinner the night before.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his back rubbing him as he leant weakly over the toilet. He stiffened for a moment until he realised it was Ron. Gratefully he leant back against him, though secretly wishing it was Severus comforting him.

\'Thanks,\' he managed to croak before standing upbly bly with Ron\'s support. He made his way over to a sink and washed his mouth out.

\'This is one bit of being pregnant I could definitely do without,\'

\'Why don\'t you ask Madam Pomfrey for a potion,\' suggested Ron.

Harry was amazed at how well Ron was taking this turn of events, he had never expected him to be this supportive, though he was truly grateful for it.

\'I\'ll do that,\' he replied. \'I imagine she\'s quite keen to talk to me after the way I ran out of the hospital ward after she told me.\'

\'You did?\' laughed Ron.

\'Well yeah, I was pretty freaked. Up until that point I didn\'t even know wizards could get pregnant.\'

\'Neither did I, I guess it\'s not very common.\'

\'I think I need to talk with Pomfrey about more than morning sickness,\' Harry suddenly realised. \'I have absolutely no idea what to expect.\'

\'Do you want me to come with you?\' offered Ron.

Harry looked at him in surprise, \'I didn\'t think you\'d want to be involved.\'

\'Well if I\'ve got to eventually play the father for the whole school, I may as well get some practice with Madam Pomfrey.\'

\'Thanks Ron,\' said Harry gratefully, glad once again that he had chosen to confide in him. \'When do you want to go?\'

\'After lunch? We\'ve got a free lesson then.\'

\'Yeah, that\'s fine with me.\'

And with that they headed to get ready for breakfast.

*******

Snape did not feel quite so fortunate when he woke up that morning, despite not having to suffer from morning sickness. He was constantly battling with himself over Harry and what he should do. Part of him was telling him to just finish with Harry and keep the hell away for both their sakes; another part of him was inexplicably jealous that Ron would get to be there for Harry, and he just wanted to claim him as his own. The third factor was that Albus probably wouldn\'t let him do either of these things; he suspected the headmaster had his own agenda.

As it was still early, he decided to go to the library and get some books on the subject before Madam Pince got there and started asking questions.

He selected several books from the restricted section that he thought might have some useful information. Looking at the clock, he realised it was nearly breakfast time, and after dropping the books off in his chambers, he headed to the Great Hall. There had been a time when he had never bothered to breakfast in the hall, but though he could barely admit it to himself, because of Harry, in the past tonthonths he had never missed a meal.

Entering the hall, he headed straight for the staff table without looking left or right. Once settled at his usual seat he all him himself a glance to the Gryffindor table; there was Harry sat between Weasley and Finnegan. Snape thought he looked rather paler than usual, though he seemed in quite good spirits and he and Weasley seemed to be talking cheerfully enough. As if he had felt his gaze, Harry looked up at him and gave him a quick smile. Snape didn\'t like the way that look seemed to warm him all over. He was definitely in deeper than he had realised, and Dumbledore was right, he needed to sort out his feelings soon. It wasn\'t fair on him or Harry...